but baby,
you don't need forever
to make me love you
cause I already do;
always have
always will be
so come back to me
you belong here
with me

I have a bad feeling
that if I don't leave him
something even more hurting
is drawing near towards me
and I've been standing in the way

cause I'm so afraid of going astray

however
I must take my first little step
even if I end up in hell
the happiness I long for
will extend its road to lead me there

it's just that I've been keeping myself busy
with work, friends, and family
so the time will overlap before me
with a hope to have some remedy

but when I stop a short while;
I have nothing on my mind
but you

lihatlah betapa cepatnya matahari
dan bulan purnama silih berganti
di Jakarta ku termenung menanti
sebuah senyuman semu di Bali
yang hanya membutuhkan waktu tiga hari
untuk membawa seluruh hatiku pergi

He ran
Stopped
Aimed
And shot
Right through the net

Or

Was that my heart?

Be kind,
Be honest,
Be brave,
Be curious,
Be your best self,
If they ever tell you the opposite
make them all pay attention
to your back!

the dictionary is wrong
beautiful is not an adjective
but a subject
I learn that when I fell for you

my broken heart
cracks open
to the surface
of my tired flesh
they make me
look so **** ugly
but you stare at them
like they are art
and told me
how my flaws are
helping you share
your sunlight easier
into my dark sides

Every single night
I sleep wearing the black t-shirt
or the other shirts that you left
and wrapping my neck
with your favorite scarf

somehow the convinced me
that you will come around
and your heart is very near to mine

If I know where to begin
he is my again

He is the kind of boyfriend
who will constantly asking me
list of endless questions
like a little boy who cannot stop
his curiosity about his brand new toy
and I always answer everything
no matter how annoying he gets
because I am staring at the sentences
behind his stupid questions;
where are you at? I miss you
what are you doing? I care for you
who are you with? I'm afraid of losing you

guess I'm the luckiest girl in the world

two pairs of our ebony eyes
are locking deeply
and in that frozen time
I can feel the L word is ready
to jump out of our mouths
so I shut them up
by kissing him
many times

Feels like surfing
On the ocean wave
Where I am free to play
Then folding inside
In a bizarre way
~
Is to appreciate trust
Rather than lies
Like brightened up
The moonshine in the sky
Even when starlight
Are impossible to hide
~
Is where your name
Taste like certainty
Blended with comfort
And strawberry
And all I notice
Is your arms
Encircle my hips
And your lips
Explaining a kiss
With infinity bliss

I know how blinding the beauty of flickering lights
And the peace of the forest could give
But if you’re willing to turn your head and slow your pace
Just for a brief moment, you will find me waiting
Amidst the benches in the crowded park
Longing for you to sit and rest your head on my shoulder
*For always

What I cannot understand is this;
I am addicted to the pain of suffocating
Like the thought of jumping off the cliff
Or hoping to get crashed by a car
Or drinking a glass of poison
I just need to have a taste on that dying moments
The urge to feel the ******* pain pulling me in
Then when I feel it, I’ll drown myself in it
I even ******* dive in it until I forgot
Which way is the surface
And when I finally got out,
I look for another pool of misery to dive into

"She is the one who kissed me"
but, Darling, that is just an excuse
she wouldn't took the chance
if you didn't open up in the first place
there are two walls in a relationship
your side and mine
if someone manage to broke into yours
then there's no point in keeping mine

it was who we are;
you're a self-centered *******
and I'm the greedy *****
how you **** my mind
by telling me I'm too much
like how I never satisfy
with the space of your heart
but we have one thing in common;
we are too crazy about each other

She's my first tear catcher
my personal mood charger
we share stupid laughs together
and become each others' healer
she's the coolest life teacher
my idiotic picture liker
helping me to be a better stalker
each time my ex has another girl
she's the angel and the devil
knows me better than a fortune teller
she's my best of friends
she's my forever

his big hug feels like a blanket
with ever-changing colors
which I demand in the morning
at noon, even at night

Right now I wish
I could bite my tongue
Until it snaps out
Just so I stop
Combining your name
And love in one sentence

You ******* *****
How in the hell did you ever have
The dumbest thought that I am
Able to understand you in your
SILENCE?

Your stupid ego won't dry your tears
I will
Your idiot pride won't ease your fears
I will
So speak to me in clear sentence
And ask me to stay
Because *I WILL!

there I stood
trying to steady my balance
cause I felt the earth shook
when my eyes caught a glimpse
of you kissing her lips
as softly as how you used
to kiss mine

I shall wear black attire
to mourn the death of
another piece of my heart
that you proudly killed
before my very eyes

you said I am the blackhole
inside your galaxy
and no one can disagree
to your statement
because I know for fact
that I have a love
within the space of my heart
made only for you
that is so forceful
it will consume you

I promise you will be lost
forever inside me
and at the exact same time
you will be safe and free

She is spelling
His name
Like an excuse
And painting
His soul
Like cracked
Eggshells

We went shopping
and while queuing
you pulled my hips close
and started to leave traces
on my back with your finger
then you hold me from behind
just like you always do
when we want to sleep
your head was on my right side
as you whispered softly;
"I changed my shampoo
to blueberry and the color
is a bit blue-ish"
I smiled, enjoying your warmth
then I opened my eyes
to another sunrise
and cried

all I ever do is
following a blurry face
who wears your smile
and a little of
everything you are

Just when I thought by putting back the puzzle
will create a bulletproof bond between us,
he destroyed my poor heart all over again

even a heartbreak is an understatement now

the wound I keep stitching are also keep opening
and the way he react wasn't suppose to surprised me
but in the end, adding an ultimate decision
with someone you want the most will always be
a bombshell even for someone as tough as I am

because being completely in love is nothing like
any other pain I had suffer before
it is my utmost invisible foe
that drag me into an eternal woe

it’s cute how my eyes chase after his face
how it is the only thing can be defined by them
and when our eyes accidentally met
they create such affection that can't be helped
but me and he can never be we
cause our faith puts too many brakes on our hearts
that might as well breaks them apart

You spread both my legs
Like preparing sandwich
Then you touch what's
Between my thighs
Until it's dripping
Oh, so wet
As you kiss my lips
Like sipping your
Morning tea
Until I forgot all the rest
Cause you eat me up
From my bottom
To my chest

Breathe me like the time
you inhaled right before
our very first kiss

for me, you are
the brightest star
I've been wishing upon
to fall

My tired heart sighs and breaks all over again
as I'm watching our movie goes on and on
about us standing on each others' shoulder

I try so hard to push the restart button
but you're handcuffing me both my hands
with the weight of my faults

guess it's wiser to push the stop button instead

"Why are you frowning?" he asked
as always, I answered, "I'm okay"

Truth is
I feel like my stomach is aching
due to the bumpy ride we're taking
like every car on the road
keep crashing on ours
while he has no intention
whatsoever to make a u-turn
nor to push the break pedal

burn your playlist to an empty CD
wish I could just burn our memory
here I lay in my room, all lonely
only got you in my mind now, baby

I close my eyes, imagine you in your car;
smoking, driving further, driving so far
meanwhile, I still wish for the last falling star
patiently, like how Leo waited for the Oscar

there is this boy whom I once knew
he craved my heart butterflies tattoo

whenever we kissed,
those butterflies flew

but as cold as snow,
he left me blue

yet in the mention of his name,
those butterflies still fly too

I carelessly dove into the sea
where the depth feels like home to me
but I swim too deep, I was drowning
until everything about me is changing

a little girl like myself
would think a hurricane like you
a beautiful carousel to ride into

Stop tearing up my heart
you live inside there, remember?

While he was staring
into my trembling hope
and blurry eyes
he spoke in sigh;

“you ruin my life
—twice
but it’s okay
because it’s you
it’s you
you can ruin my life”

then
after a long paused
I kissed him and stayed

Here we are
on the same date
the same celebration
the same wish for you
in front of the candle
the same promise I made
to have this day spent
and for the rest of
the same date
that there are

only each time
we will spend it
with deeper love
than it's ever before

chaotic mayhem has descended into my life
just when I think it is okay to put on a smile

With a proper length of time
the temporal problems in your life
the suffering of your heartbreak and
the ****** people who put you down
will disappear
only if you make a firm decision;
whether to stand on your ground and fight
or quit
in between is never an option
breathe, think
use that brain and listen to your heart

if the pain you're feeling is worth it
if you insist that the result will make you happy
then make them all fall down
**** your problems
and stop drying your tears your lover caused you
be happy inside your battle

but if you quit,
I promise you will find something great ahead
you will be happier, better, all the -er
why?
cause you choose yourself
cause finally you're free from those
that makes you feel so small
cause you learn from your past

someone told me that the choices
you made is never a wrong thing
it becomes wrong if you regret it

so choose: yes or no
get the word 'but' out
be that person you want to be
stop trying
*just be

thump, thump
his heart knocked my cheek
and softly, I heard it speaks
about one's love in chrysalis
waiting in time to be released

Crap, I hate this
I can feel my ribs opening
—Turning into spider legs
My throat is burning
From screaming your name

Like a cigarette
You chose me, pick me out
You set me on fire
As you held me on your lips
Then you inhale me deep
But in the end you put my flame
When you point the blame
And you easily walk away
Like how you throw my ash
To the ashtray

Oh, Dear, tell me
how to shut my brain
from boiling of anger?
or muffled the cries
from my heart out of
pains and memories of him?
please tell me the place
where he's not there
cause obviously
falling asleep is not working
and waking up is even worse

The clock has stopped its tock
and it is my heart you've locked
I press rewind just to love you
why don't you love me too?
each second, minute, hour
I want it back again as ours
cause the clock has stopped its tock
and it is my heart only you can unlock

I was with you for so long
I become the writer of your song
I speak like you, I laugh like you
even my heart beats like yours too

who am I again? I am your clone
now that you're gone, I'm on my own
thus, I shall find myself, be me
like the way it's supposed to be

Laying down alone
Thinking about why you're gone
It's so quite here
My burning cigarette's all I hear

Hell, I loved silence
Loved
Cause after you came into my life,
Noise has become my best friend

Can I live by your haunting shadow?
This room feels so hollow
Even the smell of your skin
Staying like the words you spin

I should've realized it sooner
That you are the other half of me
Now you're gone, I'm just a stranded body
Trying to make peace with regret

I sigh, and of course you cannot hear
But I bet you are feeling it too
I am now, maybe always will,
Be missing you

*My heart belongs to you

the right thing to do
the right thing to say
a hand to reach out to
a heart promises to stay