he's a stranger
I'm in danger
surely, it makes sense
but love never does

all she had to do was sit there
and smile by your side
to make you sacrifice everything
when I had to put up with you
through your down and hell
just so you'd think you love me

how is it possible for me
not to think that I was
in a competition with her
when you never love me better?

He always moves his legs
whenever he sits down
like he has this rush
going on in his head
or maybe—just maybe
he’s always ready to run
and left everything
everything he has
so far away
that nobody is able
to stop him
or get him back

Take a long look at the mirror
And you'll stare into my shadow
You and me and I, you
Shall your fears be my sorrow

Still you choose to have a long blink
Had you known it will put me asleep
And you deeply scratch your face
Just to give me a permanent timeout
For the scar I barely made

but the closer we are
the more I want you
the more I want to own you

bit by bit my determination
to run away, to let you go
disappears to thin air

both my eyes freezes
like they are stuck on you
hypnotized by your gentle smile

and my consciousness knows
that if we ever move our feet
forward to each other

you will only make me cry
a deeper painful tears
than any I have ever cried before

what I want is to know
you've been infected
by my blushing cheeks
whenever you call up my phone,
by the heat of my body
whenever you hold my hand,
and by my bubbly feelings
whenever you're around me

"so I've heard love is contagious," she said
*"I know, that is why I love you too," he smiled

the only thing I keep losing
because I'm in love with you

everything around me is changing;
hours turn into seconds
gazes become smile
touches is now a habit
kisses are equal to promises
and love changed into you

Greed asks me to tell him
That he shall give me more
Pride pushes me to find
Someone worth more of my time
Insecurity leads me to think
That he's playing jokes on me
Experience warns me that
He's just another heartbreaker
Wrath yells,
"You are his biggest mistake!"

Then I see you looking at me
Feeling your hand brushing my hair

That is when I hear your heart whispers,
"I love you and I am trying my best"

And so
Everything
Simply
Fall
Into
*Place

whenever I place my head to his chest
he will whispers softly to my ears
like he's afraid to bother me and my surroundings
that is how gentle his love is for me

at least I am keeping my promise
to stay away from you, aren't I?
it's been an entire month, my dear
and I have not stop counting
the days I waste without you
my love, don't you miss me too?
oh, trust me I've ran out of lies to tell
only a pair of eyes that swell
and all I can do is sleep in your shirt
crying your name until it doesn't hurt

the sunset dyed his hair red
and his smile suits the autumn sky
by the time I'm covered in his held
he let me touch even the most distant of stars and fly

our love died, the cupids cry
their voice shook the earth, through the sky
as I lay weak on a cold hard floor
with all the promises you tore

how can I not be a poet
when poems are flying out
like dandelions blowing
every time I see you laugh

"I am leaving you"

Four simple words, one clear line
But it hit me harder than storm and thunder combined

He lied and tried his best to hide
When he said that,
I inhaled—deep—then I smiled
Even when tears started to blur away my sight
I dare him not to swerve his claws
And let me bleed until I bawl
Yet he said he'll take the blame
We were almost lover and that's a shame

Then I waited until the truth pour
When the next day he sat in front of my door
Head down facing the floor
I tasted regret on his lips up to his pore
He is all in—no more either or
He is now raining me with love down to my core
And soothe my worried minds like ocean rush to the shore
Cause I always know he wanted me forevermore

I showed him
my black past
and he showed me
peace in the dark

no matter how I try
to consider things
in a favorable light
there is no way
your dark heart
will ever turn bright

Waking up beside you
Will someday be
Something familiar to me
Just like how I drink my tea
Mornings will knock softly
As you whine,
"I'm still sleepy"
Then my dictionary
Will erase the word lonely

For eleven days
I've been crying
and justifying
your absence

For fourteen days
I've been longing
and wishing
for your presence

On the fifteenth day
I've stopped crying
I've stopped asking why
I've stopped hoping

*And start praying for your sake of happiness

Alas, my eyes won't compromise
They keep shutting out the light
And looking like two heavy bubbles
Even my heart is pumping slowly
Like it has beaten up
When you said 'I'm not ready'
Lol. Ready
I've been repeating that word
Until it sounds more like regret
Then again, I'm just a sea shore
Where you can test my water
While you're a deadfall
Where I helplessly dragged in

Both my ears
are hearing musics
with maximum volume
in this big dark room
filled with people
dancing and kissing

good thing I am
not able to hear
the sound of my heart
breaking

You are the true definition
Of an *******

Or was I the selfless *****?

The hell with it
You messed me up

Wait, I'm sorry
You never asked me
To gave you everything I had
But I did it anyway

Well on the bright side
I learned a lot from you

Look at me now
Happily loved and in love
With someone who is not you

I am a better person now
Thanks to me
Oh and for the record
No one will ever love you
Like I did

But, hey
It's your loss, not mine

Oh my dear Samson
Please, save me
The wicked wizard had
put his black witchcraft
on my heavy heart
—it turned into stone
and drown me deep
into Bermuda Triangle

wherever and however we both met
I promise I won't judge you for it
so I hope you take your time
to get to know me even better
than just a girl who doesn't rhyme

please be careful of your words
cause I will hold on to them
please remember that I cannot
keep being as happy
as you thought I would be

if you only want my body
please kindly walk away from me
if you ever want to own my heart
know that it will be heavy
cause it has been torn apart

dear stranger
this is my love letter for you

I went pass through that road
we used to take when it rains
as the music played slowly
and you held my hand softly
then I questioned myself
if we were so happy back then
why didn't we work out now?

If it's me and her
we could pull it off
because without a word
we are able to plan things together
it might sounds absurd
but she understands me
even with such little information
and I can predict her decisions
like I'm reading her mind

Hold me, tenderly
Let me hear you whisper
Those three words
And turn it into my life soundtrack

Hold me, tenderly
Let me sleep on the lullabies
Of your rushing heartbeats
And the warmth within your veins

Hold me, tenderly
For I am drowning myself
Into your deep blue ocean
And the ocean is home to me

Lately i've been doing it
a little too much, too often—
somehow every second
that passes seem vivid

I swim back to our time,
deep thinking about you;
what could've happened
or what should've been

I told you once
that I'd erase every pain
I've caused you if I could
and I meant it

even up until now
I keep looking back to the past
until my present hates me
cause I just want to live the now
with you

My dear
your words are
still hanging
on the ceiling
*of my heart

Flame
Art
Jabberwockey
April
Rain
Kindness
Undeniable
Nights and days
Touches
Overwhelming
Rainbow
Oh, it's you

Bleeding sounds like
an exotic pleasure
only if you want to be
inside me

Moving images
Drowsy voices
Is how I keep
Reminding myself
That you wanted to stay
But you've marked
Your calendar
To take your flight
Away from my heart
While I booked
A one way ticket
And I couldn't leave
Yours

Justru inilah yang tak pernah bisa ku pahami;
kamu mengenal aku seperti belakang tanganmu sendiri
kamu itu selalu memiliki pilihan
untuk jadi bahagiaku di siang dan malam
atau buatku tenggelam dan tersesak dalam dinginnya diam
namun pilihan kedua selalu menjadi pilihan favorit mu
pun kamu tau bahwa dulu itu menjadi alasanku tinggalkanmu

You are the kind of guy
I can live with all my life
but he
he is the kind of guy
*I can never live without

Look at those thingy
they shrunk in whenever he smiles
oh my
I feel like exhaling dandelions
each time he does that laugh
how come this one thin creature
could be so astonishingly cute?

My knees got awfully weak
everytime he smacks my buns
and pulls my amber hair
when he screws me from behind
but it feels so **** good
I secretly hope he does that more

missing him is the prettiest torture;
a disease on which only he possesses the cure
now I'm starting to forget how to touch
this illness had infected me too much
mayhem in my mind, hear my soul screams
I cannot wake up with him in my dreams
cause every part of me is incomplete
I belong nowhere but next to his heartbeat

Can you sense
The longing I endure
Underneath the trees
Or starlights
You're passing by?
Do you understand
How vulnerable
I become
Not breathing you?
Will you be convinced
By the amount
Of love I pass on
To God
In every pray
About you?

once again, I threw myself to hell
faking every curve of smile on my lips
just to get other guy placed his hand on my hips
just kiss me tonight, do what he'd does
disinfect me from the lies he whispered
about how deep he was in love with me
make my body forget the way it yearns
for his touch everytime I undress myself
love me, love me more, and I promise
I'd say I love you and stay forever

look at me

look at me and tell me what you see

no need to patronize me with lies
you know I am not powerful
nor beautiful
I am the symbol of devastation
and self-destruction

so don't tell me you love me
if you only end up throwing me away
don't speak the word promise
when you refuse to stay

now turn your head
don't look at me

say your farewell
before you begin anything

How you treat me
cause I welcome you
too much

With a single wink of an eye
he snapped me out of my conscience
to another strange dimension
where bruises looks like tattoos
and wounds are ridiculously popular
until I am wide awake all alone
feeling ******* sick of him,
realizing that I'm losing pieces of me
bit by bit just to pay the price
of deriving pleasure from pain
because he fooled me
time
and time
again

yes, I love you
I swear
on all my smiles
and all my cries
from the moment
I saw you walked by
until time told me
to say goodbye

but you should know
even right now,
the answer is
*still yes

he said he had a dream about love
but I was watching him asleep
when he called out for my name

I must say I adore the way his closing eyelids
moving rapidly when he was sleeping this morning
Perhaps he was dreaming about the place
where his homesickness disappear
in between the sand and the breeze of trees

But secretly I was hoping
that the dream he had was about me
cause little did he know
I've always been a home for him

I’ve been waiting
for ever
for someone
to get you drunk

So I could read
the words on
a screen that I
really needed to
hear from your mouth

The night I knew
you got the alcohol
choked down your throat
I waited up for
these texts from you:

I miss you.
I miss you so much.
I miss seeing you everyday.
I miss waking up next to you.
I can’t stand the idea of being away from you.
I wish I stayed.

But all you will say
the next time you see me
—if you ever want to see me is
“I hope my texts didn’t wake you up”

They didn’t.

There are no word I can spell
To show you how deep I have fell
Only my bursting eyes can tell
I love you with my every cell
But time passes and so does your heart
Only it never changes mine
I really wish it did
Right the moment when
You stopped being sweet
Well, I should have known better
My mistake, I was hallucinating
To even trust your twist and turn words
Cause you were too perfect to be true
Guess I am not the perfect one for you
But hear this;
Do call me, find me
When you're not busy thinking about
Your pride or your ego
For I am always near
Make amends and I will forgive you
Make amends and I will take you back

He invited butterflies when he started
and
turned them into moths when he finished
*using me

though I know it's not right
but the way his skin caresses mine
and his gentle smile is very warm
the same feeling I get
when I prepare myself to dream
about the universe and its sunset
and I drawn my curtain
as the night falls upon me
like I fall for him
cause the way his skin caresses mine
and his gentle smile is very warm
like the shimmer light before dusk