My desire is raging like an inferno
It's roaring like a caged lion it's ready too pounce
Your body being the object of desire
Gripping your waist, kissing your neck

But I can't tell if you're fires burning
Or have you smouldered out
Did you ever even begin to start
Did you ever feel

That desire deep inside.

I'm good at hiding it.
Not only do you think I'm good.
Very often you believe I'm happy.
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Sadness is the only thing I'm feeling.
Believe me it's there but invisible
Loneliness Is my companion
Even though I hate it

It didn't hurt when you drove the dagger into my heart.

Only did it hurt when you left me to pull it out by myself.

As cold as a winter breeze
The pale face took it's last breath
Pain left their now frozen face
Only to be replaced with sadness
Another soul gone without good reason
Another solider soon to be in a casket

I'm laughing on the outside
(You're talking about your date again)
But crying on the inside
(Oh how I wish it was me)

My heart yearns for you
But your obliviousness pains me
So when you go on your date tonight
Have fun, be happy, you deserve it

It's gonna be another night for me
Hugging my pillow, just wishing...




Wishing it was you

We once where closer
Spoke for hours on end
I'd tell her I loved her
Something she didn't comprehend

How can I love her she would ask
We hadn't met before...
The truth is I don't know either
But my heart wanted more


Her soul was golden like sunshine
Her words simply poetic
Her beauty unparalleled
Our chemistry magnetic

I found out about her more
Turns out she was a married lady
Had a crush on her professor
I was but a "friend" that upset me greatly

My heart began to crumble
So I knew all too well
That if I saw her again
I'd remember how hard I fell

So my heart continues to beat
Despite it's many faults
As I walk through life
It continues the lonely waltz

2 hours 10 minutes to Christmas.
I couldn't care less.

The magic died in my childhood.

Now its a way for emotional sentiment
That pushes mass consumerism

"Buy your gifts and buy your toys
From here its the best"

Christmas is coming

But I...

Couldn't care less.

Origami cranes
Fly towards the crescent moon
Amongst paper clouds

Just remember
The pain you feel now
Is nothing to what you once caused me
The moment you took that knife out
To plunge it into my heart

Remind yourself it's okay
To smile even though your broken

Simplistic sorrow
Caused by weather being poor
Rain on the window

Pause for reflection.
Breathe in anticipation.
Step out amongst the stars
No longer fear the darkness.

She took my hands
Looked deep into my eyes
In four words broke my heart

*You're my best friend

In a time where I feel pain
Time slows still
I'm breaking

Minds grown numb and ache again
Time slows still
I'm breaking

Unrequited love, what a shame
Time slows still
I'm breaking

You fell for that guy who I disdain
Times ran out
I'm broken

Happy fathers day
For the memories we've shared
To the ones we will go onto create

You're my idol due to:
Your persistent positive attitude
Despite all you've gone through

Perfection doesn't exist
But you're pretty **** close
It's due to you I strive to be happy
It's due to you I'm not fully broken

Thanks for everything

As I lie in bed writing this I feel an overbearing sense of nothingness, emptiness.. void of any emotion when normally I would.

Writing to me was therapeutic, calming progressive for me. But now..it's lost it's edge. I no longer feel creative, the desire to pick up the pen is gone and I'm back to square one. This was the one thing I was good at.

My fix wasn't taking drugs or getting drunk. It was pouring my soul into my work...and now....

It's gone...I don't know what to do.

I'm literally at a

loss

for....