As I feel asleep
After a stressful
Coffee feel day
I find that I see mushroom clouds in the distance
An omen of
What is  going on
This impending war
This impending hatred towards our fellow man
This empending genocide
This I will not stand for
I have has these prophecies
Of this
Since age 14
Now it 13 years later
Or so i still
Receive
Mushroom clouds in the distance
Like evil psychedelic shrooms that
Are from hell!
What we need is more security
More love for each other

As I am  writing in my diary
I talk about the strange dark
And wonderful
But that might just be
For a dream journal
As I am writing in my diary
I see that I am dissociating
From reality
The reality that is oppressive
As I  am writing in my diary
I am writing the final chapter to my memoir
Thus far

The microcosms of the brain
Something that is beyond belief
Something that is beacons comprehension
You can be a psychiatrist
You can be psychologist
But it will still bell
The hell out of you
God’s biggest wonders
Of the world

A true testament of gods power
This this look up and find it
What do you see the Big Dipper
Good!!!
That simple
Asterism is the only proof
That something
Bigger then us is around
Something that want peace for all
Man kind
The Big Dipper
You should look at it
One time

I might not be FBI
But I do know and see
Evil when the zit pops up
As I see the same zit of evil
I see a constellation of behaviour
That is unique to the person
But I have seen to much evil in
My life
You can not fool me
You can not call me heartless
If I smell the stink of evil

Let me send (d)ick picks
Let me send (d)ick picks
Let me send (d)ick picks

Or


Send me new(des)
Send me new(des)
Send me new(des)



Does this annoy you
If so report some who says this **** To you!

What is goth
But certainly not Machiavellian
Narcissist nor psychopathic
But yet it is the creative
Unique
And beautiful
Think about that
Before you judge a book by its cover

The  idea of  selling
Friendship
But true friendship
Could not be sold or
Bought
It is like the air

The ghost or a demon
From the blasts of hell
Will you trick me not
But I will lead my self to
Salvation
For I am only human

You doing now what
Freedom is until
You flee a war torn country
You will never no the need to
Eat unless you’ve been in famine
You don’t know what’s
Sick
Unless you’ve been in see the human soul
And what is pure good too

To live in glee
January 31, 1935
Ottawa…..
To rest in peace
October 15, 2024
Ottawa

The coyotes
They shapeshift
In the Night
When there is no
Moon you can hear the
Yipping and yapping
Looking for food
Pure protein
Is only good for them
So they can change form

As I sit
And write this poem
The full moon
Of yesterday Is cutting
Through the darkness
Like a a disc
This is
My comfort

As the the thin crescent , a scythe
Cuts through the darkness
So was also the screams of
Achilles’ army
Being whiped out but the amazons
In the night
Who am I
But woman
Am I

I was five and she was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
She wore black and I wore white
She would always win the fight

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my friend shot me down

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up I tried to forgive
She would always laugh and say
Remember when we used to play

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down

Music played and people sang
Just for me the church bells rang

Now she’s betrayed me I don't know why
Until this day, sometimes I cry
She didn't even say why
She didn't take the time to lie

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my friend shot me crushed my dreams

I am the zombie flea
Left for dead
Resurrected by hope
As now pain
No fear
And astronomical
Strength physically
And emotionally
For I am half dead
From my beginnings
A zombie

Leanna Hirstwood
I remember not fondly
For she started as  friend
The became an enemy
With a few words said
The black mailing started
To hurt me
But my friends the most
Only to find out
That she was supposed to be
Of integrity
Little of that she had

What would happen
If I were
To strap my heart
To a polygraph test
Would it stay true for you
Would it just lie to me again

The moon
Casts a light on
All my darkest secrets
That I am afraid will come to light
Th secret that I was brilliant at one point
The fact that I was full of promise but was snubbed out
By a-hole bullied who made fun of me
She shot me down
Bang bang
My friend shot  me down
Bang bang
Bang bang
I my friend shot meme down

I am sorry
So so sorry
For what I did
But I am
Fearing that you
Will be unforgiving
Yet again
I am sorry
So so sorry
So so sorry
That I am getting fed up
With our ‘ship’
Is tanking
I am sorry
So so sorry
So so sorry
Beyond comprehension
For what I have done

Oh hell
That is a strong way
Start the day nothing
Good come from anything
That’s stars with hell
So say you
Flip the script

Oh hell
That is a strong way
Start the day nothing
Good come from anything
That’s stars with hell
So say you
Flip the script

What say you
Give me crystals instead of
Pill
What say you
Give me rings instead of
Money
What say you
Help me be a better person
What say you

Stacking is fun when stacking
A bunch of septum rings
To make your nose look
Cute
But that is just me
I hate fitting in
Though I would thousands of
Years ago

Apparently titanium
is good for healing piercings
But what about the human soul?
Apparently titanium is better than surgical steel
But what about the human psyche?
Have we lost too much of our human psyche and soul as it is
I think the world needs more titanium to heal!

Dear 14 year old me
You were a strong and still strong
Human being
Who still has integrity
In her heart
The way I see
You had to
Hide you dreams
For survival and I don’t blame you on that
It would have been a horrific
Fate if you were still
Like a peacock 🦚
But not you can show your feathers
In a safe place
You don’t have to fear torture
If you want you can do 50 pull up if you want
Now show your brilliance and shine

Thank you Santa for the handpan
I did not know
That it was there
Under the tree waiting for me
Thank you Santa for the handpan
It was very shocking to see
And surprising to
I want know what else you have
Instore for me
On this Christmas Day coming up
:)

I must say
Though I am
Just a suthsayer
Not supersain
But this I say here
With a beer (non alcoholic)
In my hand
There are to
Types of memories
Milfs :
Memories I’d like to forget
And then there
Are glimmers:
The real good stuff
That you should remember
But I am just saying
Human to human
As a starseed
Not a supersayen

There once was a fish named Deb.
Who lived in a nice simple fish bowl of water.
She enjoyed her decorations and swim happily but didn't know
if she was hurting the humans around her with water. As she grew and grew the more panicked people got
and soon they had to switch Fish bowls to
the aquariums to the point where they could no longer afford them
soon the fish died because it grew In unsanitary conditions.
Poor deb.

I walk the line between life and death
This apple's rotten, rotten to the core
Get up, get up, off your knees
Get down, get down, on the floor!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My business is a little clock and scythe
I drink so much I don't walk I merely stagger!
No you wouldn't listen & I don't blame you
No I don't blame ya!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My rent is 30 a day
I can't move
You know that's the price you pay
Is life all in vain?
Starts off in my arm
Opens up my brain
I'm already in the gutter -
Next stop is the morgue!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
Live fast, die old
Live fast, die old
I walk the line
Death
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
While others have been thinking about it - I've been there and back
Hall and here
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death

I am always all over the emotion
Wheel when I am creating
And spilling ink
As I feel the full scope of the
Emotions
Like carrying a child to term
It is joyous and painful
And yet I do it every **** day

As I spill my ink
I feel like an octopus
Ink every where
But I still have to design that
Tattoo
And write this poem
Though painful at times
Emotionally
It will be well with
The spilled ink

Spilled ink
Isn’t about tattoos but it is
About pain and emotion
The feeling that get spilled
In the creative process
But will be a pain to
Repair that is spilled ink
When you  put your heart
In everything

These are the words that I despise
I shall not tell you
What words
Nor why I hate these words
For they are
Hateful
Evil
And
Just plain stupid
To say
Why do people say offensive
Slurs
I will never know

I walk the streets
Looking for friends
I walk the streets in
The middle of the night
As I am in search of
Of friend life forms
But only to
Be met with hate
Only to be ridiculed
Only to be
Forced to fit in

As  I am writing in my diary
I would say how my day
Is going
As I am writing in my diary
I write about a
Good song
I heard
As I am writing in my diary
The first entry I would
Write the
Good the bad and the ugly

As I write in my diary

The colours blue
And purple
The deep blue and
Purple
Are very healing
And calming colours
To me

I want to believe
For real

I am a ginger not the drink
But I am who i am
Take it out leave it
But this I will say
That you will pay the price for
You abscennce and abuse
By having my snap
Oh ginger snapps
Oh ginger snapps
But it will be justified
For who you treated me

Oh I am just an x-file
A freak of nature
Oh I am a girl
Oh I am a girl
But no one gives a ****

So I am just an x-file
Haunting the streets
Hoping for the best
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one care

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
I am just an x-file
Just hanging out
Hoping to be the next punk
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one cares
One one cares

Why write about love when you are still
Healing from
It’s attrocities
Why write about love when you are still
Hurting from the abuse
Why write about love when you are still
Alive
For romantic love makes
Our heart exsanguinate*


* it a medical team for bleed out

Pain is unpleasant
Pain is what you feel
When something is
Not voting your way
But also pain is a sign that your alive
Be great full
For I am dead

Grounding  is like putting your self on a charger
Grounding is connecting back to nature
Grounding going back on line with the spirit world
You see
We are not all different from
Our electronics

As  Lisa falls asleep
She feels her soul leave her body
As it shoots to the moon
Alas she is alive
She is now on the moon
This happened 200 year ago
Long before the thought of astral projection
And to this day you see her
Face blend in the craters of the moon

Full-moon light
Can create
Frightening and
Disturbing shadows that seem
To shape-shifting at a wim
As I walk the halls to get the bathroom
The full-moon exposes
The darkness of the corners
But yet the corners of our minds too
As I see these shape shifting
Shadows turn from evil
To horrific
I wish I stayed in my room

We make believe  about monsters
Cryptids, spirits and demons
To help explain
Away the evil in the world
Make up these stories
To help us cope with
Hard time
Be it as a collective
Or personal

Black stones
Are what will
Repell negative
Energy
From you
Aloe will absorb
Evil energy and
So will an onion
Try it it will help

I am not religious  
I don't believe on the devil
Nor
I believe in demons
For we make our own
But this I will say
I believe the evils of man
I am just a suthsay
Ie. 9/11

Caffeine
I cannot live with it
Nor
I cannot  with out it
For I turn into a troll
At the  strike
9 am

I was given at age thirty
Many vision
Many messages
Of the world to come
The first the pandemic
The war in Ukraine
And something much worse
I was also sent to tour hell
As I went through with
The protection of an arch angel
I see that gory scenes of just 3 circle and 9 sub circles
And a poison desert
For the worst of humans