What would I say to that boy so young?
Full of life, imagination and drive
How could I tell him what his mind would become?
Full of dread, anxiety and no pride
How did I end up like this?
A question I asked so many times
Swallowing pills just to exist
What kind of life does that make mine?
It got worse when I moved to London
Down every day but more work to do
My room became a dungeon
A city so big, but so few people to turn to
My mindset had rapidly sunken
Quick fix of drugs and cans of special brew
But the drugs that I kept on munching
Sent me further away from that child I once knew
Weeks had past and not one day spent studying
Not a care in the world. Not even a thought in my head
When I ended up in hospital is when it got worrying
Admitting to my parents felt like the hardest step
So many times in one day I had to explain, when I really felt like scurrying
It was then I realized that admitting to myself was actually the hardest step
I packed my bags and ran from that city, no one could stop me from hurrying
If I’d have stayed in that place for any longer, I fear I would have ended up dead
I was home at last, back where I belonged
Even if i was in debt, with a failed degree
I got a job in a kitchen that was oh so long
But I had family and friends all around me
It was then I met the girl I loved, the feeling was so strong
Every time I saw her my heart skipped a beat I suddenly felt free
But she was already spoken for, obviously I was wrong
I crawled back inside the cave I knew so well, with no one else but me
Over a year has passed I now live in a one bed flat
But with a bed thats big enough for two
That skinny druggy boy has gone and now I’m actually a bit fat
But happier than ever with you know who
That girl from before was unhappy like me, her relationship made her sad
We’ve been together ever since, I’m stuck to her like glue
The pills from the doctor sure help when times are bad
But Sarah nothing helps as much as you
What I would say to that boy oh so young
Is don’t worry about talking when times get hard
Sure drugs and alcohol seem like cheap fun
But they just paint over the cracks, don’t let go of your guard
Look at the positives and when you need help don’t run
When it seems like it will never get better, you feel permanently scarred
But those wounds do heal, never feel like life is done
Just take a deep breath and carry on
First poem written by and about myself. No corrections or edits. Just written as I thought of it. The poem is based on a very difficult time in my life.
