River of salt
Flowing endlessly
Down a rocky shore
To an endless black

The heart clenches
Pain sets in
For the moment
It relieves the pain

For when the river
Stops it’s flow
The pain revives
Only this time stronger

Stronger and stronger
The pain does grow
Until unbearable
The source lie still

Unbroken pain
Chest tightening
The loss of a love
The torture of mistakes

Hidden away in pasts vault
Lost to us as passage of time
Memories vanish
But the pain remains

The feelings we once had
The pain we once felt
Rushes to us
Like an endless stream

Losing our way
We focus on this
Torturing ourselves
In order to feel

Rip the heart out
Cast it aside
Nothing works
Cause the feelings don’t hide

Yanking and gnawing
Ripping out your soul
Pain pain pain
Is all that’s left behind

Silence feels safest
Until the thoughts arise
The gentle voices calling
From which they can not die

Anger and frustration
Easy to mask the pain
Hiding behind a twisted smile
Or a demented sense of humour

Yet deep inside
One thing holds true
That slowly but surely
They are rotting inside

Hello?
Is there anybody out there?
Its so lonely inside my soul..
I'm calling out to you..

Oh wandering angel?
Will you hear my call?
Seek me out and find
This tortured being inside

Hello?
Is there anybody listening?
My soul is getting cramped
Theres no more room to run
No room to hide..

Hello?
Can you hear me?
Please come rescue me soon
There only so much more I can take
Before I crack

Hello?
Are you here to save me?
The door seems to be wielded shut..
Can you break down these walls?

Theres destruction all around.
The walls come tumbling down.
Are you my angel?
Are you here to rescue me?

Up in smoke
Fire takes to the sky
Burning brightly from the great beyond
Though I see it I dare not gaze

Burn burn burn
Great pillar of fire
Tread not thy weary soul
Or be ****** for eternity

Though fear itself dare not query
Thy soul divine need not worry
Gazing upon thy holy flame
Thy soul does burn its eternal grace

Be still thy beating heart
For the damage will fade
It may be deafening now
But time heals all wounds

The darkness you feel
will surely brighten
The anger that burns
will surely dim

Be gentle thy sorrowed chest
For the pain is but nigh
Peace will find you swiftly
If only you rest a while

Though now it feels
Like the heart was ripped
Straight out of your swollen chest
Rest assured it was only a flicker

A flicker of love that was doused
With the waters of rejection
The pain will slowly dissipate
If only you let it heal

Be swift thy healing words
For soon it might be too late
For if this damaged heart remain
Surely the beating will stop

I am dead inside

No free will
No happiness
No bliss

My eternal soul snapped to pieces
Like the fragile cracks of a sudden drop
I have been tossed
Like the rotten food of last weeks meal and I ponder

Will I ever be yours again
Will this wave settle us into the sound
Will your embrace ever come back

The love
The care
The eternal bliss in which I longed for so
For now it is all but a dream

And yet
I crave with my whole being
For it to be real

Upon the night
The shadowed stalk of an early hunt
The glimmer of hope in the laughing darkness
The simple breath of a heart unloved
The heart seeks true want and only finds undying hate

It withers away to nothing as it continues
To seek what will never come
Slowly the heart starts to break
Never wanting to be hurt again
Turning into what has been done to it

A lowly being
Of hurt and despair
Never again to be filled
With happiness and joy
But to be trapped in a world
Of hatred and sorrow

Rabid it went
Chasing the hearts in which it was
And longed to be with
Hurting those like itself

When you think about it
Life is anything but fair
But the kicker that destroys it all
Is losing the one you like to another

The emotions that ensnare
The betrayal that’s felt
The love turned to anger
Lost in an endless spiral

You try to say it’s okay
You say it’s not your fault
There’s nothing you could do
Nothing you could say

Just live with it and wait
For emotions get easier
But you never listen
And probably never will

You lash out and scream
Cursing yourself and others
Hating that it could never be
As simple as you and I

Your emotions turn cold
You lose the feeling of laughter
Losing yourself you crumble
Into a pile of broken stone

And there you wait
For a while
Till it becomes clear
It was never meant to be

I’m starting to forget what it feels like to be happy
The only time I’m happy now is around one person
But that one person doesn’t acknowledge me like I do them
And it hurts me so bad that I want to scream

I love this person with all my heart
I pray for their safety and well-being
When they don’t answer their phone I get worried
And my paranoia runs rampant

I wish they could see how much they mean to me
If only I was good enough for them
If only I wasn’t so dysfunctional
If only I could be happy all the time

It feels like they don’t know just how I feel
That my feelings for them aren’t true
Or that I just want to use them
But what they don’t see is when they aren’t with me

I crave their presence
I wish for them to be near
I long for their touch
I long for their kiss

I need them
I feel incomplete without them
And it brings nothing but misery
And it’s slowly killing me

I long for the day they finally see me
The one that has loved them through everything
All the good and the bad
Every flaw they have

I hope they see it soon
Cause it’s getting too much to bear
This emptiness I feel
When they don’t acknowledge my love

You walk around
Like nothing is wrong
Hiding behind a chiselled mask
With crystal gems as eyes

Going through the motions
Like no one notices
But what you don't realize
There is me

I see the way your soul is damaged
I see the pain you wish to hide
So much pain it boils over
Threatening to burst from your mask

Though you are good at hiding
Though you are good at mending the cracks
I can see right through it
I just wish it would pass

But the more I see
The more pain you endure
I think it's time for me
To come out of hiding

No longer can I watch
As you writhe in agony
I can't let you do this alone
And I am here to help

Although you may think
That I am not able to see
We shared the same pain
So it's clear to me

The pain of self loathing
Of heartache
Of the fear of being alone
Of never finding the one who cares

Yet every time I see your face
I can't help but put on a smile
Because no matter what you say
No matter what you do

To me you are perfect
With all your flaws
All your worries
All your weaknesses

My heart became yours
So many years ago
But now it begs to return
Back to where it belongs

It urns to be by your side
To help you through
All the bad times
And to smile with you during the good

I hope this message
Can get through to you
Cause even if it doesn't
I swear to you

I will not rest
Until I see your face
Beaming so bright
With an authentic smile

Thy solemn vow so sincere
Burning bright with truth divine
Casting shadows of faith entwine
Thy harpies gaze be herald on high

Thy sorrowed being
Cast astray
With little repents
Under twilights eye

Fear thy demons of borrowed time
Thou darkest fears do come alive
Gazing out into the dark
Feeding terrors hungry bite

Thou hearth be solemn
Thou love be strong
But alas a lifeless corpse lay upon thy arm
To which no more will be adorn

My heart and soul
The beating within each
The love once lost
Now found anew

With you in my life
There is nothing that can fail
I know that this is true
And forever it will be

The love between us
Is all that is
Set in stone for
All of time to bestow

We seek comfort in each other
The caring passion
We long to show
The tender embrace
We thrive to give

The sweet kiss of everlasting love
Though miles apart we stand tall and ready
To say we are never apart
For our hearts are with the other

These nights are changing and as we grow a far
My soul find no happiness in the night time star
My being
a once happy and joyful one

Has now turned to the revolting demon in which we hate
I craved to be with you and still you chose him
I longed for your touch and yet you still touched him
I begged for your loving embrace for just one more time

And yet you just go off to him
The one who doesn't love
The one who manipulates and destroys
The one in which never loved you
But the attention you gave him

Why must this be
When will you see
All I ever did was love to no end
And you pushed me away to be with him
I cry every night

I still dream of his sweet smile
In which had always made me smile and blush
Now only turned into my heart snapping
And me wanting the pain to cease

I ask of thee..
Do I really exist?

My head is ignoring my heart
Yet my heart screams it's sorrow
Hoping for my head to hear
The agonizing pain it's in

Yet all my head can do
Is dream of a far off place
Where there is no sadness
Pain or dismay

Where there is only forgiveness
Love and compassion
A place that is kind
And free of worry

I have fallen
Fallen to far
Where there is no salvation
Down to where
There is darkness and death

Though I sought a way out
I could never find one
Till one day you walked into my life
The beam of hope I was longing for

The love that blossomed in me filled me with joy
I had finally found the light
In this never ending darkness
Though it is difficult
Times have turned darker than before

The kindled love in which you sparked
In my now forever burning soul
Will remain my light for you
Never will the darkness
In which hurt me before ever hurt you
We are one and forever will remain

When will this end
When will I stop being in pain
When will I be okay
When will I find my happiness

I stand here
With my heart bleeding
Tears of blood
Running down my face

I ask you
Do I even deserve love
Or am I destined to be hated
For all my life

I ask you this
Because deep within my heart
I feel like I don’t
Deserve anything but hate

Just rip me open
Take my bleeding heart
Into your callused hands
And squeeze it hard

Crush it so I don’t have to feel
This horrible pain
I’m begging you
Just end it

Because if I can’t have love
Then just give me death
I’d rather be dead
Than hated by you

You say you forgive me
But I don’t feel that’s true
I forgave you instantly
And my actions shown true

I may not be able
To control my alters
But my heart will always remain
Right by your side

I just wish you realized that
Before shutting me out
Like I should have realized
My alters ****** up

My alters are not me
Yet you jumble us up as one
I have no control
When I’m not the host

I’ve gotten so much better
At keeping them at bay
I just wish I learned to do it
Before it was too late

Cause now I stand here
All alone and bleeding
My heart split in two
Forever waiting for you

My love burns bright
Like a neutron star
Raging in the darkness
Bursting with new hope

When old love dies
New love blossoms
Creating a beautiful scene
With a splendid of color

The pain I once felt
Is slowly receding
Bring forth new hope
That I will be loved again

Though the pain of betrayal
Is still fresh in my heart
This new found joy
Is stitching it up

For when I am with you
All I feel is comfort
I feel the compassion from your words
And the kindness in your heart

Though I dare not speak it
My heart is already growing fond
I miss you when you are away
I crave you when you are near

My heart jumps when you talk to me
Flipping with such joy and hope
That one day it will be joined
By the heart which is inside you

Though we’ve known each other so little
We have talked to each other so much
We know each other’s weaknesses
Now we just need to build on each other

I’m willing to give it a shot
If you are with me
I don’t know if you know this
But I’ve already fallen for you

All you need is but say the word
And I shall follow you
To the ends of the world
Or even hell itself

Thoughts racing
Frustration attacks
Fearing what I do
Have I done things wrong

Falling to my knees
I grip my head
Pressing with all my might
To try and stop it from destroying me

Over analyzing
Over thinking
Emotions going out of control
As I rock back and forth

Is everything I do so wrong
I can’t see how it’s not anymore
The pain my head inflicts
Driving me insane

Where is the peace of mind
Where is the harmony that I hear so much about
Where is the love for myself
Why must I be so broken

I start to scream
Trying to drown out the voices
Blasting music so loud
It can cause someone to go deaf

Yet I still hear the thoughts
Nagging my every move
Telling me all these lies
With so much negativity

Things like
You’ll never amount to anything
You aren’t worth anyone’s time
You annoy everyone you talk to

You don’t deserve happiness
You deserve this pain you’re in
You don’t have a right to feel special
You will never be enough

They all hate you
They find you repulsive
They don’t care about you
Why do you think they would ever love you

All these things
Everyday
All day
Breaking me apart bit by bit

Pushing me further and further
Into this pit of despair
Driving me to think
Maybe I’m better off alone

Maybe I’m better off away from everyone
Maybe I just annoy everyone I talk to
Maybe I am intruding on the people I care about
Maybe I’m not worth the air I breath

Am I even worthy of being loved
So many negative thoughts
Drowning out my own voice
Sending me into a state of disarray

Crying myself to sleep
Huddled in a corner
Fearing to even be seen
By those I call my family

Why am I so broken
Why must my head do this to me
What is happening to me
Do I even deserve to exist

The light fades to gray when the shadows come for us.
Run while you can we are just prey.
We walk and talk like we are hunters,
but we all have something to hide.

It maybe just a simple illness.
Like we're sick or in pain.
But if we talk a closer look,
We see that all of us are ill.

You run around in circles accusing,
Looking down upon others.
You need to take a second to look deeper,
We may look crazy on the outside.

But if you open up your eyes and see the ones who hide.
You will see that we are just like you.
All afraid and terrified.
Yet all you do is run and hide behind fake masks.

None of you will face the truth.
For the only ones who can are labeled the crazies or possessed.
Just take a look and find it in your heart.
Take a chance,
See the future.

And find that we are all just one.

Though this light shine brightly
My heart is pulled
To the darkness it once was

The light slowly fading
Souls withering away
Hearts turning to dust
With the breaking of sorrow waters

The rush of great fear
Agony and despair
Though looking to the light
None can be seen

All that is now
The darkness is here
Glancing around for just a little
The light once was there
Is now gone for good

Where it has gone
there is no telling

There’s a voice inside my head
Screaming that it’s all worth it in the end
But my mind plays tricks
So I don’t know what to believe

Should I listen to the voice
Or should I listen to reason
On one hand my life will change for the better
The other my life will stay the same

But with these delusions that run wild
Causing mayhem upon my brain
Sending toxic visions
And destructive thoughts

I sit and I ponder
Is it really worth it
Or will I just fail
Like so many times before

I try so hard to connect
To you and ignore the terror
The terror inside my heart
That pushes me to think it will never work

I think silently to myself
Questioning why this is
Why does my head do these things
When all I know is I like you

I don’t like the paranoia
I don’t like the fear
It terrifies me beyond compare
To a state beyond repair

My eyes they only see you
My heart screams out for you
But in the end of the day
My head screams it can’t be true

I try to run and hide
From all these thought inside
Screaming delusions and spreading fear
Cause all I want is to be with you

I run and run
Tripping over myself
Shielding my eyes from the visions
Of you wanting someone else

I fall and cry
Screaming for someone to help
Wishing my head would stop filling with lies
Stop filling with terrifying fantasies

And yet it doesn’t stop
Screaming and cowering
Clutching my head between my knees
I burst into tears begging why

Why can’t I trust
Why can’t I have faith
Why must my head do this
Why must I feel so alone

All I want is your reassurance
Yet I can’t even get that
Because I’m too afraid to tell you
About what’s really going on inside

My heart cracks with every moment I speak to him
The passing of time stands still
The pain worsens as the cracks spread

Throughout all this pain I have put upon myself
I can not let him go

My soul yearns for the return of its match
To fix this cracked heart once and for all
For only he can fix this spreading crack

I have a few more days
In this prison cell
That they call
A hospital ward

Too long has it been
Since I have tasted freedom
I now feel like
I'm on a bed of roses

Feeling my skin
Getting ripped apart
Bit by little bit
It bleeds over the thorns

Soaking into the petals
Staining the white buds red
Dripping down to the floor
And making a pool of crimson

Waiting with anxiety
And anguish
Hoping to be free
To roam around once again

To walk amongst the living
To cast out my shadow
And inhale the fresh air
With my toes in the sand

But that seems like hopeful wishing
And maybe it is
But that is my wish
For a perfect vacation

Sleep is a great mystery for no one really knows what it truly is.
Is it our mind being teleported to another realm?
Or maybe we are waking from the dream and going back to reality.
Doubt time will give us the answer.
For people have been studying dreams for eons.
And have yet to find such an answer.

Oh Java thou art truly my only friend.
Against the impending doom which is burning bright.
So bright it dares to engulf nations at a time.
For that burning light is sleep.
The enemy of the working man.
And the dawn of an awakened youth.

I see you there
saying your crying and yet
The laughter on your face says different
I longed to be with you and yet you have another

I hide my pain and it boils up
till it is ready to flow over
I hold back the tears for they betray the mask
My perfect mask is going to snap

A crack starts spreading and spreading far
And yet you can't see this pain leaking out
My tears are flowing and flowing hard
Yet you laugh just the same

When will you see that you are to blame
My tears turn cold and flow even faster
My heart feels stabbing and yet you stay the same
I loved you from the beginning and you said you did to

You wanted me forever and yet you're a sunder
My life is crashing and you still don't care
The pain I feel
The tears I shed
Or the love I gave

Resign in death for thy soul to burn
Thy agonizing sorrow has yet un-twine
As time flies by across the heart which bursts
Thy burning desire

The love that thirsts
To which evermore
Grow still thy life and soul collide
To thou heart is of hard cold stone inside
Yet thy warmth alone can't set you free

It maybe time to just let you be
The tears alone can't make you see
All the love for you
In which is inside of thee.

You know when your heart breaks
And you feel empty inside
Void of anything but the loneliness
Trapped in an endless cycle

That’s kind of how I feel
When you are gone
I try so hard to understand
But I keep coming to the same reasoning

I’m lost without you
Spiraling into the abyss
Fighting to stay afloat
But around you it’s a different story

Everytime I’m around you
It feels like the world stands still
I’m filled with endless joy
And all the darkness fades

Listening to your heart beat
Is the most soothing thing
In the world to me
It’s why I lay on your chest so much

Feeling the touch of your skin
Underneath my fingertips
Hearing you talk and joke around
Even your scent brings me joy

I truly am happy when I’m around you
And yes there are times
That my head goes dark
But with one touch they vanish

I long for the day
That I can call you mine again
I want to give you
The same peace you give me

I want to see you smile again
To hear your laughter
To feel the joy you have when we embrace
To feel the love again

I want that more than anything in the world
You know this to be true
And I’m sorry it’s all I ever think about
I know it’s a touchy subject

I just want to rekindle what we had
And I know you did at one point too
I don’t know if you still do
But I am willing to try

I want to risk everything for you
I want a second chance with you
Even if you set rules I will obey
Cause all I want is to be able to lay next to you

To greet you when you come home
From a hard days work
With dinner on the table
And your favorite scented candle

To make you feel like
When you step into the house
You aren’t just coming back from work
You are walking into a loving home

To those who look beyond my pain
They see a light
A light of simmering hope
Hope symbolizing the rebirth of love

But not one dared to touch it
Yet one day a man
With pain in his heart came upon me
He ****** his heart to mine

The pain in his heart vanished
As the pain in mine touched his
We looked at each other
The sparkles in our eyes glistened as we stared
Unable to break away

He told me his troubles
I told him mine
That instance the pain and sorrow we both felt
vanished like mist in the heat of the sun
He leaned to me as I wondered
what would it be like if he were mine

He told me that he loved me
Then a tear rolled down my face
For I knew he was saying the truth
For all to hear his heart

My heart stopped
I looked to him and smiled
I love you too spilled out of my mouth
We are the perfect two
And that is no lie but true

Words colliding
Splitting the wall
Breaking free the chains do fall

Echoes not the silence held past
For now the words
Do fill the last

The great sun of the east may pass over
And turn it's rays to your shining smile
But it's vast depths of rays
Will never penetrate my heart like you have

The great sun of the west may set off the western mountains
And leave a beautiful glow of color
But it will never compare
To the beauty I see in you

The mother of all may cry
When she sees what her children have done
To her gift to them but she will never cry
As hard as I do when I see you hurt

The father of all time may scream
When the end comes near
But he will never scream as loud
As me when I feel your pain

For the past few months
My life has been hell
But then someone walked in
And brought a light

A light shining so bright
I was able to see hope
For the first time in years
Someone I love being around

But things don’t always work
They way you wish them to
So now in order to keep sane
Feelings that developed need to be drowned

I don’t want this person
To end up walking out of my life
Cause of a mistake that I
Or my alters make

I must be strong
But that’s always a problem
For I have no idea
How to be strong

I’ve never been good at it
It’s always eluded me
Especially since I tend
To develop feelings fast

And that’s always been an issue
I like him so ******* much
But at the same time
I fear that I scared him

Maybe I did something wrong
Maybe I pushed too much
Was I doing something wrong
I don’t know anymore

All I know is that
I need to go back
To being numb
Until the time is right

Who knows when that will actually be
Or if that will actually happen
But at the same time
My alters and I are accepting fate

The Gods and Goddesses
Like to toy with us
So I feel that I’m destined to be alone
Lost in the waves of torment

Being battered by the rocks
Shoved down by the current
Made to be abused by fate
Until I’m a perfect play toy

Through that which has never traveled
This lonely path of self inflicted pain
We see the clear night sky
And the treasure of the star

For with their light brings
The hope of a new beginning
The prosper of a new loving relationship

Though many may ignore
The true spark of friendship
It will never elude the soul

My soul hast gone and yet on fire
The burning remains in its place
Where thy soul has gone

Has left me to wonder
Where is the love
That once made me shudder

The winds of time are not kind
On the withered heart of this poor soul
To those who are seeing the torture it endures
It is harmless fun

The soul wanders endlessly
Looking for its way out
Some ways may be easy
But they are far to painful to travel

The shallow emptiness that lies ahead
Filled with loss and misfortune
From years of suffering

It's one true goal out of all others
Find the one who will take the pain away

Thou love has gone for never more
To be return to thee a shallow's pawn
Though thy heart is gone in shattered tangles
My love for thee is forever eternal

And in thou wake of hardheartedness
No life shall begin a new
For thy spark of love hast dissipated
Into a shadowed hole in which life is non-existent

For thou hast splashed it with
Thy lovers tears of adultery
And never more shall it become ablaze

I'm holding onto threads that were once
A double braided rope
Dangling over an ocean of sorrow.

Of fear.
Of Anger
Of Hopelessness.

But cause of you,
I can actually try to rebuild that rope
I  finally be able to climb up and away from the cliff.

I won't have to fear.
I can actually hope again.
Hell I can actually smile and it's cause of you.

There is no way I am giving all that up for uncertainty.
Not if it means that I will be back here
Dangling on the threads of what once was.

Just to be barely hanging onto life.
You are in a way my savior
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

...Dead hearts for dead hope...

The angels of Darkness
Surround our souls
And free the pain
In which never died...

...The love in which
We once knew is gone
Forevermore
No hope for it will never come back...

...Thy heart and soul are dead
So why must thy body live?
It is a curse...
A plague...

...One that spreads like wild fire
Till nothing is left...
Heartache and misery
To be one with us for all eternity...

...The heart no longer can be free
To love and cherish
It will only die...

Flowing down the river
Blackness all around
Is it night?
Or am I just blind

Blind to the love
The hate
The passion of those around me
Or am I seeing the truth

The bleak truth
The truth that love is gone
That all in which remains
Is a burning hate

Holding tight to where my heart once sat
Feeling the burn of pain
Bleeding through the hole
In which was made

Ripping and clawing
I see the truth
No love is here
Only destruction in my wake

When will this end?
When will the light come back
The bright warmth of compassion
The tender embrace of love

My hidden cause
My ego erased
My love poured out
My heart raced

The pain felt
Yet can't be shown
The fear of loss
The chance be blown.

Curling into a ball,
Hiding my swelling heart
Feeling nothing but pain
Wanting only him from the start

As I am pushed away
I fear things are going a stray
Try as I might to hide the pain

I wonder if the jealousy
Is but a game

Am I just a phase?
Or will you hold me true
I feel like if I come
You still won’t have me

Will you respond
with love and affection?
Or would it be
with regret and anger

Would you laugh in my face
And call me names?
Or hold me tightly
And call me yours

Will I be the one
Will I be the one who’s true
Will you keep me
Or push me away with not a chance

If I appeared upon your step
Would you be with me
Or would you be disgusted
And call the police

I love you
This much I know is true
But to show you i love you
An old condition I will use

Walk along this narrow path
And you might come to a surprise
For if you're lucky enough
You might find the meadows song

A meadow so peaceful
It's sure to be divine
Radiant beauty
None can deny

Across the wandering meadow
Sings a blue bird in joy
His life is filled with blissfulness
As he flies across the bright blue sky

Down on the ground
The rabbit plays
Seeking treats
That's buried below

The fox does hunt
But does not harm
For he is friends
With the meadows life

The trees sway softly
In the summer breeze
Dancing to this meadow's song
Giving shelter to the wild life

Grass grows high
The flowers wide
Full of colour
Like an artist's eye

Peace does bloom
In this meadow of dreams
Listen closely and you might hear
The meadows silent song

Love is a fickle thing
I wish and dream
But it will always be the same
I’ll always be someone’s second choice

I fight against the depression
That this life brings
Yet the only way I can fight
Is with you by my side

You drown the voices
Keeping them from the surface
With your joyous laugh
And your goofy personality

Being near you
I rarely ever feel sad
But when you leave
It hits me like a tidal wave

I crawl into a corner
Begging and crying
For just one chance
To be the one you love

But I know it won’t help
There’s no way I’ll be
The first choice
Of your heart

My heart craves you
My soul craves you
My whole being craves you
But you don’t crave me

I’m alone forever
And I understand this
But I don’t want it to be true
All I need is you

But no matter what I do
No matter how much I want it
I’ll never be what I want
The first choice

I’m not even in the running
I’m not even thought of that way
Yet I crave to be
The first choice

But it’s all for nothing
I will only be viewed as a friend
I’ll never be what you are to me
The first choice

No longer am I surrounded
By the sweet embrace of Joy
But forevermore clinched
In the painful grip of sorrow

The agonizing maze of despair
The ripping tides of pain
These have come to me
And all I feel is null

The tears once shed
Have all but gone
Leaving hollow voids
And salt stained walls

Seeing through the distance
Feeling what once was
Lost in a space of forgotten
Hoping to begin anew

My love
My heart
My one and only
My soulmate

I have loved you since first sight
Love your laugh
Loved your smile
Loved your warm heart

With you by my side
I was able to fight the darkness
I was able to see light growing inside
I was able to breathe freely

But with you gone
I feel like I’m suffocating
My heart aches so badly
That I can’t take it anymore

I was able to see you again
One last time
And all I felt was pain
And guilt

I did this
I caused you to leave
I pushed you away so far
That you ran to the arms of another

And for that I can never forgive myself
The guilt hurts so much
I can’t breath
My body is attacking itself

My head is so full of thoughts
That I can’t make go away
I can’t live like this
With you no longer by my side

I love you so much
And I tried to be strong
But the longer I fight
The more pain I’m in

You wish me a good life
Thinking that I’m strong enough
But I hide my true intentions
So I don’t hurt you

I’m sorry
I should have fought my head harder
I should have shown you how much I cared
How much I loved you

But it’s too late
And I have lost
In both battles
Of the heart

I no longer have you
Who I loved so much I wanted to live
And I no longer have my will
To fight my never ending thoughts

So I forfeit the match
I have fought for as long as I could
This is the end for me
And the beginning for you

My heart aches and yet it burns
My love slowly burning and dying
This world has been nothing but cruel and evil
My love yet given is never returned

My soul set to blaze and my tears know no bound
The taunting heart in which I haven
I beg for the day
In which you all see

No matter the cost of myself
I will be with that heart
And finally be free

The art of zen
So serene and peaceful
One with all
One with none

The breath so natural
The happiness so true
The life so blissful
Ever gentle and surreal

Thy love of grace
Blesses unto thee
The life of peace
Eternal in it's moments

The sound of nature
The sound of peace
The songs in the wind
The smells all around

They fill your nose
Comforting the lost souls
Bringing peace
Where none can be found

Love is a torrent of emotions and feelings
Some pleasant
While others full of pain
All depending on the actions of others

Love is a complex array
A tangled mess of happiness and sorrow
All bundled up in a soft package
Waiting to be explored

It can be the best
And the worst thing
You will ever feel
In your entire life

There will be good times
And there will be bad
But in the end it’s what we all strive for
Because without love we can call ourselves human

Many people feel that humans
Are separated from animals
For a number of reasons
But I believe it is our ability to love

We love unconditionally
We strive for it
We don’t care how bad it hurts us
All we care is that it’s there around us

Some dive head first
Some dip a toe in
Some are afraid to go near in
And some can’t give it up

We can also be blind to it
Completely wanting one love
Even though it isn’t there
While someone close is enveloped

Or we choose to ignore it
Pushing our feelings aside
Because we are too afraid
Of the unknown outcomes

We should strive ourselves to push forward
Learn from the past but not fear it
There is a lot of hurt in this world
But there is also a lot of love

As a species we evolved from basic needs
We no longer mate for breeding
We mate for love
Which sets us apart from animals

Whether it be love of ourselves
Or the love of another
We push ourselves forward
Latching onto that feeling

Heart strings tug
Chest feels tight
The time spent
Talking with you

Time passes slowly
Like a leaf
Flowing down stream
Caressing the waters

Time goes on
It starts sinking
It slowly drowns
In blissful serenity

Days go by
Still tugging heartstrings
Chest tightens more
Starting to fall

Fall deeper down
The spiral gap
Between the life
Of eternal bliss

Will it stay
Will it grow
Time will tell
The hearts wish

Alone forever
The darkest night be near
Heart turned dust
The love now shattered


Within this form
My soul does weaken
To a being that is never enough
Nor will it ever be


These tears come from it
Begging all to see
The torture it holds
For only it can


This soul gone black
Nothing to be known
This life comes to the end
Alone once again

Darkness swirling
Enveloping the senses
Trapping your mind
In an empty void

Lost in thought
Never surfacing
Drowning in sorrow
Fearful of the depths

Flailing around
With no sense of direction
Losing your sanity
In the deadly chasm

Try as you might
You can't see the light
You have sunk too deep
There is no end in sight

You give in
Losing the battle
It takes hold
Ensnaring your heart

Strangling the light
That once filled your heart
Ripping away your walls
Blinding you with fright

The blackness drowns you
Ripping away at your soul
Cursed to oblivion
You accept your fate

The thought of love at first sight
Most believe to be false
The longing one feels
The passion in their hearts

Unbearable pain
From loss of their presence
Churning and tugging
Their heartstrings entwine

Undeniable to the heart
Naked to the eye
We pull ourselves along
Hoping for the thought

Of gazing in ones eyes
As they casually walk by
The heart flutters and aches
For their tender embrace