ripping the flowers
out of my hands
and the saying
is spring brings showers
and it is the youth of my life
so some rain is expected
just need a promise
it's merely
partly cloudy

You want a reaction
I can give you a suicide
You can watch
The life leave my eyes
As I twitch on the floor
You can tell me
What it looks like to die

If it sounds crazy,
Then it is.
If it rings of sanity;
Their words are of
Another's, only rearranged.
If it's hard to understand,
Then I guess it's not worth knowing.
Pretty strange then, so many
Prestigious people agree.
So, who's crazy -
You or I?

What's lazy?
People who take things at one glance of an eye

I don't know what to feel
Grief or remorse
What is it to say
Life takes its course
You didn't deserve to die
It's so meaningless
It's all so meaningless
How can things be made right
They can't, so I cry and write
And remember the good nights
I won't meet many, the likes of you
Your spirit was so pure
Your heart was too, so true

There's so many you left
That loved you so deeply
And I feel I have no right to grieve
So I'll just drink

Blood from a stone;
Vulcan, erupt.
In his Ares heart,
Of the Zeno soul.
The battle drags on
For a cause, I do not know.

You're talking to yourself
And you get away with it
Because thoughts are silent,
Or so you think.

But it's all just electric,
Systems like these are prone to acring.

You're not as quiet as you should be,
For I hear the fears & the worries.

Walk through all the hopes & dreams.

It's like riding the waves;
Liquid, frequency, chemical.

It's just like reading!

i worry about you
but i realize
i don't have to be apart
of your life
especially when i tell you
and it's just
too bad
for me

shutting my mind to it all
i'll stay the grind till the axe fall
cause i won't be caught off guard
i'll go my own way and stand tall
maybe it's my pride
but it never swells
maybe it's me
insecurities
they never leave me
but i'm growing
you start living
not knowing
so if it takes some time
for you to get your legs
that's alright

dark shadows
subservient
to lights austere adherence
of eclipse
past the sailor's head
onto eddying sea currents
whisking ships out from port
in aviator headgear
it's radiance, blinding and brilliant
worth any danger it might invite
off soldier's helmets
lost in the tangled webs
of weaved kevlar vests
over sandy dunes
and abandoned homes
rolling hills
reflected by shards of glass
perceptible in all avenues of life

I wake up alone
Something that before, had no affect
Now it chills me to the bone
Took it all for granted, in retrospect

And I'd do it all different
Were time such
That it'd allow me to do what I didn't
But it's better I guess, I'm learning hard

Hardly learning, cause I'm too held up surviving
Afraid of flying, cause all I've done is dying
So I think, I'll just sit for a while
Till I pluck up the courage to fake a smile

I can't say what it is
That causes me to fracture
Like a glass mirror
The reflection is but a static actor

If you want to really know
What exactly is the truth of the matter
At this point I'd say I'm not broken just battered
I'll stay standing
Cause laying down is easy
When I'm ready to go
I'll just be leaving

paces the hall
all amok with tracks
the stench of sweat
of fear, and progress
ill or fair?
the verdict still out,
best digress

Ah, yes. Holocaust. Genocide. Yes. Pagans are familiar with that. Just not in the way that you think.

Ah, yes. Holocaust. Genocide. Yes. Abrahamics are familiar with that. Just not in the way that you think.

I've got an inquisition I've put together! We've got to exercise! Burn all these things! For surely they contain evil spirits! For why else would someone think differently from me?

No! Hogwash. Darwin? You must be mad, man! For surely you don't also contest that the Earth is the center of all of the heavens! If we're not special, why else do we exist as we exist?

Do you believe more in the imperfect or the perfect? Do you assign more value to the material or the immaterial? Is there correlation between those two? There is an obvious relation comparatively within each question. For they could be graphed on a spectrum, if one were able to conceive of that. But what is "perfect?" But what is "immaterial?" For I may find the perfections in the imperfect. For I may reach and could touch the immaterial.

No! Some council several hundred years ago settled this! No! I don't know & I don't need to know who attended. Don't need to understand that moment's political atmosphere. The motivations and intentions of those who participated. I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship! I just need to worship!
I just need...

Gripping,
You're the only sane one.
And everyone else
Just grasping at straws,
Running their jaws,
Can't hold a candle

Why I would ever
Knowing it would only
Prove a disaster, & cause only pain.
No sparks to be rekindled,
Only fumes remain of suffocated flames;
As alcohol on water
When all fuel has been spent -
Lamenting the sea

What do I speak of?
Of self-actualization and the pursuit of happiness
Of class movements, where you are not stuck where you are for life
I speak of what the fathers wrote,
I speak of our fathers' hopes.
Before those slavers from Europe,
Did what they always did well.
Before they slaughtered who should have been sisters & brothers
In this beautiful land, in our united country
You have been robbed of your destinies
They split us up into factions
From broken borders, to cliques
Secret courts, where throats are choked
Like behind closed doors
Information they keep from you
Or hold over your head
Like a rope around the neck
From freaks who feel nothing but empty
And only feel pleasure from deriving pain
Who are concerned with only their own back
Not even sacred is family
Blood is like water
All that matters is physical pleasure for the self

Remember our westward expansion,
God was not there with us.

It was savageness perpetrated
On a native populace

If, in the environment in which we exist,
There is never not light shining -
Then the logical inference
Is that there is never either silence.

For instance,
There are one's own thoughts.
There is one's own heartbeat.
One's blood flowing,
One's own decay & growing.
Decaying which grows
From growth after growing.
The decay of the body's harmony -
Of its own regulatory systems.

Such things are solvable.
Establishing new order -
Liberating Nature;
Through Tranquility, Harmony.
But only through Harmony, Tranquility.

Time shows Nature - Kronos shows Gaia;
Nature shows Time - Gaia shows Kronos -
You are all undeserving,
You are all unworthy.

Think you're the only children,
Think you're only children.

en route
I'm telling you
I'm gonna be there soon
you keep hitting snooze
don't know what you have
but it's something you're gonna lose

on the stream of life, i was a water lily
and on it's street, the heat
that rose up from the railway

in the hazy spring, newborn fawns
that bucked and singed
a thousand unheard of songs

and in the time in between
i've been far too many a thing
for it has worn on me
like bricks chipped by the cold of winter
or yellowed grass from drought,
a finger with a splinter

i'm not broke
though i am poor
i've got so much planned
so much still in store

There is so much,
That goes on in a day
And I remember too much of it
Too vividly.
I want it all to end

Two sickly birds,
In their nest of salt,
And it's not their fault.
What do they know?

i don't want you
to feel guilt over me
or anger or animosity
sadness, pity
don't feel
for me
i think you'll find that
easy

a ****** and a people pleaser
but she doesn't ****
and acts evil
pushing buttons
flicking levers
with a performance
like knievel

the beauty
of kindness
it's infinite surplus
the appreciation garnered
and it costs nothing,
priceless,
and more often than not
you're paid back,
even in just a smile

Duhhh, brown desert people bad
Durrrrrr, God is wrong

Duhhh, white devils are back
Durrrrrr, people should worship Allah

Don't tell me you people still believe this ****,
I couldn't even imagine being so superstitious.

I wish we could all agree this was myth,
Just something to instill some morals and values to our kids

Duhhh, you sneeze?
Gahhhhhh, bless you

******? Inter-breeding?
Disgusting interpretations!

Cannibalism? All types of sick rituals?
Disgusting interpretations!

*******? All kinds of sick sacrifices?
Disgusting interpretations!

In more ways than one.

With love. Take care of them.
Raise them, lift them.

Eat with them. Make it a normal habit.
Feed them, look out for those after them.

Find the young. Whoever most curious.
Offer shelter, by statue place visage.

come on over
and watch me
defecate and replicate
a couple new
younglings

we can **** for hours
and if you're good
just to watch
that's fine,
you weird kind

she smiles
and whispers in my ear
something to make me riled
all the while
just writhe

i feel nothing at all
it's good to know
that at the bottom
you can still fall
to give way to new lows
where you thought
there was no more to go
brother, seat yourself in the first row
you're in for quite the show

you don't get to sit there
and complain of assumptions
when you make them yourself
when you pass judgement
and say cold things
and get offended
at you offending me

Wanna be pervasive on thoughts?
On carte blanche?
I'll give you a perverted stream
And force you to wade in it.

I'll tease you with wonder,
I'll keep from you the infinite.
Enjoy your *******?
Have another pile of manure!

i guess i'm selfish
i don't care about anything or anyone
besides myself
and my own interests
i'm trying
to be better
and i'm the victim
with all my ******* and procrastination
my worst enemy
my subconscious, consciousness, and imagination
my mind is a travesty
a shrine to mania
a tapestry of degradation
it's insanity
the man i want to be
is who i stab at in the mirror

just someone
desperate to be loved
and not taken advantage of

I cannot tell you
The remedy to your emptiness,
But I can share with you
That of a treatment of mine.
It can be hearing of progress
On any front
In the forms of beautiful ideas
And new expressions,
The world of us humans.
Of newfound love
In many kinds of companionship
Whether by person or by animal,
Or even by plant.
Of new discovery
Which betters our understanding
About the fundamentals of the universe,
Like walking in the wild;
Cherishing all that is natural.

Being a humble observer
In the courts of law
Under honorable nature.

Just by being an animal.

Some things get past death,
But not what's right
And yet neither what's left.

It's like a portal as obelisk,
It's like an orb of light that's electric.

No matter how you view it-
It's all lookings, each perspective.

It's a thin bridge,
A causeway that's been setup for you
If you just find your way
And choose to walk it.

If you're not careful,
And you're not a wanderer nor sailor,
You'll slip and fall into the marsh.
And that's like a nefarious ocean.

If next time around
You want to remember;
Walk the steep mountain passes,
Down through the valleys,
Past the swamps & wetlands,
Through the deserts & oasis,
In the towering forests & clearings,
The fields of caverns & caves.

You just have to figure it out
Before you die.

Have you been learning?

They say,
"Ignorance is bliss."
Do you know why that is?
You're unaware of all the things you've "missed."

Things already in existence,
Things already happened,
Things happening;
That which is existing.

All that exists.
To reduce it,
We're all learning what 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is.
Learning ignorance, decoding from it wisdom.

So what is it to be knowledgeable?
What is there that is knowledgeable?
What is knowledge?
Does intelligence exist?

knowing our time here is short
and shorter lived, with how we rob ourselves
why is it we take from others
and give back so little

knowing love is to share
why do we guard it
keeping it close to us
biting at those that might
want to be loved
or, to love

especially upsetting
is acknowledging the few paths of recourse,
mostly hollow options, left to us

People know the stories of the glories of heaven
The magma and brimstones of the hot fires of hell
But not many know
Limbo
There's stock brokers there, and hedge funders
Bidding on the ****** and the holy
All the same
There's no karma, no good and evil
The three fates spin their yarn on graphs and pie-charts now
Showing the most favorable projections and safest souls to nab
Destiny is dead
The eternals drove a ****** stake through it's chest
Pandemonium has become the norm
In those ethereal planes all our paths end at
Another puzzle to figure out
Another oddity to be understood

When the rains fall away,
We move on with things and
Think nothing of the water which percolates
Seeping into the water table
No thought as it saturates
As cycles repeat
And liquid evaporates, condensates,
And it falls once more;
When rains end

Now, if I have a good idea
Or something that would be beneficial,
Does this mean I am required to share it?
That you are deserving of it
Regardless of my judgements?

If I see you about to do something wrong
Or that I am sure of will be a mistake,
Does that mean I am required to help you?
That you are worthy of it
Regardless of my verdicts?

Look, I smashed them all together!
Look, I tore it all to tatters!
Look, I sewed it all back together!

Look, I wasn't familiar with the formula.
Look, I didn't understand the directions.
Look, I lost the thread all connecting.

Look, look!

I've got a *** of cash
It's in my pocket burning fast
It's better I spend every last cent

Miss my long hair, with this shaved head
Can't help feeling I should've left it instead
It'll grow long before I'm dead

Regret is just a word
Make no mistake
It may just stick with you

Beget your own pain
Fathered all you forsake
You travel with the weathervane

You guys really messed up that message-
Do you have the postage? Addresses?

The records & reports
For what you purport?
Are all the passages
Just rewritten, or
Pages overwritten?
Torn out or rearranged?
Perhaps overlooked?

No longer properly understood?

Is the truth lurking out there,
Somewhere?
Buried under heaps of rubble,
Covered by mud & dirt.

Wipe the muck off.

Through the weeds & brush,
Thorn & thrush,
Save the vine & water the bush.

Get looking.

she said she couldn't believe i was real
but really, i was made in a lab
where they proded and poked
till this thing came out!
want me to do a little dance for you!?
balance on my dome?
swallow a sword?

find an exit off the interstate

i need you
as i've never needed anything before
it's scary
it makes me laugh
and smile from ear to ear
cause you break me with ease
but build me back up with the same speed
i need you

Salting the earth

Take it from the first books-
Though you may feel you are gentle,
The judgements against you are harsh.
They span far beyond your life,
Gleaning the collective journey
Of sweat & of blood.
If your mind is clouded,
Drain the marsh.
For there are no waters
Too deep or too shallow
That will supersede a verdict.

Every word spoken
I can treasure like a token
But what price do you put to it
Are they Benjamins
Or do you toss me only Lincolns?

when i am silent
and say nothing
it is because, there is nothing to be said
or nothing of value worth saying,
look into my eyes
they say all i need to

and how much need be said
for things we both know
or do you just want to hear them aloud
so we can both revel in it
relishing the sorrow we both wrought

Some is too little,
And more is never enough.
Your chalice spill, an overflowing cup,
You would still moan
For a top up

She was full of such grace
That she radiated utter splendor!
Lilacs in her hair,
Violets, paeonias, and roses.
Adorn simple fabric,
The smells citrus & floral.
I loose my sextant,
My rubric,
My laurels.
In her fair sight, near eye,
Her ear offers to listen
On the thoughts that pass by.
What more could I ask for?

welcome to the hollow cake
buttered by cream frosting
its no fun being the rat in wax
is it?

was the garnish good, at least?

we're here only moments
and they're being wasted every minute
just like all the opportunities
that have gone on by

there's still plenty game to be had
a plentiful lot in play
pennies for each of their fads
hair changes, and ripped stockings
handmade

but when the dye fades
your mascara runs
was it fun?

in a Serbian hospital ward
the dingy overheads blink in and out of existence
i wished i were dead
bedside, my mother weeps
saddened by what remains of her boy
what doctors had been able to save
my eyes weigh heavy
the morphine they have me on is strong
stronger still is the pain
radiating, like heat off the hearth
and the woe from my brothers
interred in the earth
you can live
to still die
you can live, dead
but no horrors can you see greater
than the ones in men's heads