I'd rather be certain
of the saddest reality
than uncertain about
a hopeful fantasy.

trapped between Heaven and Hell,
the world has failed her
one too many times.
Fall after fall,
she's cracked
but not yet shattered.
There's no ending in sight-
she looks in the mirror
and sees someone else.

I live to learn
the science of your
heart.

It isn't always the light
at the end of the tunnel
or a brand new
sunrise
you see at first.
No, the first light
usually comes
in the form
of a person
during dark times.

I'm feeling weary,
My mind is grey.
I'm already tipsy
and it's only Tuesday.

If you're not up there
in heaven
when I get off this wild ride,
then dying isn't really an option-
is it?

Just know that I am in love
with your heart
even though you think
it may not be enough.
I listen to your heartbeat every night-
it's my favorite lullaby
and it beats for me as mine
beats for you.

Your love
is a lifesaver
in case you didn't know.

Why am I so preoccupied
with distracting myself
from me?

Love me on the Moon
without Earth's borders
drawn between us
or it's gravity weighing
us down.
We'll dance among the stars
and forget our Earthly scars.

Why do we
glamorize our pain?
Is it because we're so desperate
to hide our wounds and insecurities?
We fall in love with heartache
and glamorize depression.
We turn our tears to watercolours
to practice the art of sorrow.

My mistake was
believing you were
the only star in this
vast but lonely universe.
You were all I had,
all I wanted,
and I forgot that
there's a billion other stars
that could have shined for me.

my baby girl
is like fresh laundry
straight out of the dryer-
so soft, so warm
so similar to home.

Angels come and go
with pain and love
and without warning.
If you should be so lucky
As to meet an angel in this world
treasure them-
for there’s no telling when
their halo will lift or
their wings will take flight.
So cherish them-
but keep in mind
they are not forever
and that one day they may become
a stranger once again.

There was once a bird
trapped inside a cage
of the darkest blues.
He forgot how to fly-
he forgot how to sing.
He cannot remember why
he got here with this wing.

I made a home in
our old photographs
just so I could feel you
near
again

Every time
I tell myself
not to love you,
it feels like the entire universe
is fighting back against me.

You and I.
We had no ending,
not even a goodbye.
Now I am left
to wonder why.

It only takes three words
to ask “how are you”
but I'm so selfish to just do that
while all my attention is for you
and only you.

calling it heartache
was a gentle way
of putting it.

Now,
each step
is the farthest
I’ve ever gone without you
and when I look back and
see the moon above the city where you sleep,
the more I realize that I left my heart
underneath your pillow.

There is nothing
on this planet more beautiful
than seeing a daughter's smile
in her mother's eyes
even when heartache is an
ingredient for something so heavenly.
The sun and moon could learn so much
from this baby girl’s warmth and glow.

There was a time where we
meant the world to each other.
Those nights together seem so distant and
I'd do anything to relive those perfect moments.
I don't understand what went wrong-
you turned away and closed the door.
Believe me,
I've tried putting the pieces back together
but they always never fit.
Perhaps some people were never
meant to fit together.

You drive me crazy,
but not in the romantic way.
You turn my brain upside down;
you leave me clueless and hopeless-
your image branded into my mind
and I can't seem to drive you out
of my dreams.

there are some nights
when life tosses you a name
back into your brain
without caution
and we spiral back
into the memories we thought
had left behind a long time ago.
Sometimes our souls take a fall
over life, an endless cliff,
so let the future help
take you higher than before
so that when a toxic name
crawls back into your veins,
you can fight the poison
that wants to reach your heart
oh so badly.

If you left,
the sun would still shine,
but I would rather have you
and the rain any day.

To this day,
your name
still hurts my tongue
but I still say it anyway.
Sometimes I like to
hear my soul
gently tear itself
apart.

Yes,
it's true-
I still dream about you,
and I still write about
all those nights I told the moon
about you and your smile.
I would wake up the next morning
with a smile of my own
knowing that you exist.
So this one is for every smile
and every song we shared.
This one is for those countless hours
on the phone-
they flew by, didn't they?
This one is for all the postcards
I tried so hard to hold on to-
they were all I had left so,
most of all,
this one is how I say
goodbye.

Loving you was a battlefield,
and a paradise.
The many masks you wore–
all those changing faces.
I never knew which one
you were coming home wearing.
One day you love me,
the next day hate me.

I keep returning;
the doorstep of your heart
is far too inviting tonight.
Every time, I am turned away
to face another winter
that's unforgiving,
so cold so dark,
when I am lost
without
you.

The stars will rise
into the night sky
while the waves will ride
the eternal sea.
No time,
no space,
no deep or no high
Could ever keep this
away from me.

You are amazing,
aren’t you?
A field of sunflowers blooming
in the softest of flesh.

Feelings on repeat
why does everyone
always retreat
when all's said and done?
Every heartbeat
I have felt
so bittersweet
they make me melt
only to find
that I'm alone again.
We're so blind
to love and its friends.

I can warm you like a
cup of tea on a winter's day,
I can chill you like a
winter in the U.K.
I can lift you up and
send you reaching for the stars
or I can make you feel
the weight of a thousand pulsars.
I am the worst feeling in this paradigm,
while, at the same time,
I am the best feeling you can conjure;
I am nostalgia.

Some nights I don’t want to be here anymore,
yet here I am still dragging myself through
another day of “it could be worse”
alongside my demons
and broken promises.

I didn’t plan on dying at your feet tonight,
but here I am bleeding out
without a breath to spare.
Was I ever anything more than this to you,
a badly worded promise
failing its own intentions?
am i worth an answer?

When I’m full of anxiety,
and can no longer sit still.
When I feel the need to flee,
because reality becomes too real.
I’m not that way everyday,
but the days that I am,
I feel myself start to fray
like no one can understand.
I may not be or act the way
that some might think I should,
but almost every day,
I just feel misunderstood,
I can’t help my own mind;
it darkens and it races.
Sometimes this head isn't kind;
it's not something one embraces.
I just want to find someone;
someone who will understand;
make me not want to run
but stay hand in hand.
Love me for my imperfect ways,
and be my voice of clarity.
And for the rest of my days
please just set me free.
Love me when I don’t love myself,
and help me grow and blossom.
Help me become like yourself,
a shining beacon, the sweetest plum.
I just need
someone who’ll understand.

Sometimes I write
about women who
might not even exist.
“She” is a figment of my imagination
and “she” is perfect in all the ways
that I can’t comprehend,
but I sure as hell try
to write it down.
I sure hope that one day
I will meet her.

Still, the sun has not yet
made her appearance in my day.
If you feel this way,
sometimes that’s okay.
She will shed her light
when it’s her time
to shine.

Well, I guess it's
just one of those nights
when I don't care if my batteries die
and I don’t switch on  
tomorrow.

With eyes like that,
you could rule the world, baby.
Irises that gleam like
beautiful brown pearls
in between those eyelashes
clams could only dream
of becoming.

These hands reach for warmth
in these dreary months of bitter cold.
Some of us don’t want companionship,
we just someone warm to lie next to
until the thaw.

Today, I’m tired.
Work was dreadful.
Now I am home, it's almost comforting.
Yet, my body is in pain.
Other days, I feel awake.
Alert.
Even beautiful.
But today, I’m tired.

The city is alive
with its aging streets
and their flashing neon lights.
The hungry inhabitants shed no tear;
the gutters are already overflowing
with broken bottles and promises
and liquid dreams as old as the palace.
This city holds excitement for us all.
But no joy.

She put stars into her soup
with a pinch of hope
and a touch of
glitter dust.

Some prisons use steel bars;
others merely use
flesh and bone.

The distant lights
in your eyes were a beacon
on nights long ago
I would’ve spent alone.

I saw you,
daydreaming yourself into a world
that is kinder than the one we live in.
Good for you,
that kind of peace
is hard to find.

She asked if I
wanted to dance in the ocean
I said 'only if
you promise we won't drown'.

she was forever
the withered petals
of a beautiful sunflower
that never learned to bloom.