“My thoughts are a sky full of rain clouds, and it never go away..”

I said while looking up. *“You see I can feel the raindrops on my cheeks..” I added.

*“My dear, the night is calm and the moon is saying hi… You’re just crying”

I ran out of rhyme to make you feel,
What I keep on doing to you, is what I need-
Words to help you think that this is all real,
Yet your interest was never on my deed.

I tried- and keep on trying to continue,
This momentum felt only by few-
Though I was exhausted, tired with no clue.
Still connecting the dots you drew.

It is painful to die...

That's one thing that pops out of my head when I think of dying.
Before, I always think it was easy; or easier
But it was *selfishness.

Daily separations made me numb, or rather; pulled me away from selflessness
But everything is different, from a different eye.

"Hi?"
"How are you?"*


... are the only words left between us.
... and maybe, these words were enough.

So much depends to the brown-eyed guy who stole my heart.
So much depends to his unidentical thumbs that makes me laugh.
So much depends to his wrinkled eyes that looks like a cat.

And there's more to that...

So much depends on him taking another risk to try again.
So much depends on the fear he had experienced- and
So much depends to what I have offered him.
*Love.

Pagkakitang muli, isinuot na ang maskara-
Labing itinatago sa ngiti,
Katotohanang nakikita
Maaaring tama, maaaring mali
Walang kasiguraduhan- tulad sa hangganan ng iyong pananatili

Ngunit masisisi mo ba sila, sa pangambang kahit ako ay nababahala
Makita kang masaya, kahit sa piling ng iba-
Muli, pag-asa'y nawala
Kaya puso ko, tulog na-
Magpahinga ka muna.

I believe love follows the first Law of Thermodynamics. It can neither be created nor destroyed; it can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. We all have love in ourselves; which is why we have acts of humanity, we take care of animals and we care for the environment. When we meet someone special, the love within us awakens. It continuously changes from one form to another. Which is why we hug, we kiss, we cuddle & do things for them. And if/when the relationship comes to an end, the love never dies; it is never destroyed. It will only change into something more meaningful, something more definite; it could be acceptance, forgiveness, memories and many more.

- m-k.s

What a wonderful world you built for two,
A painter you are, and she- a hue
Guess I'll always be the girl; a palette only with shades of blue,
Drawn in my mind, *me and you.

"Do you ever wonder where these voices came from?"

I closed my eyes and for a moment, I thought I was talking to someone else…

“Yes, I am them. They were the identities formed within my insecurities. A life I wished that I was once in; the shoes of someone I wanted to be… And to that, I have made you exist, but not living…"

We could have been better- if you chose me than her.
We could have been stronger- if you chose to hold on.
We could have been happier- if you loved me forever.

But,

You had the best.

As I was walking on my way home, I saw people laughing and chatting.
Some were in groups; others, in pairs. And like me, some walk alone.
I wonder, "What keeps them going?"
Then it hit me. What keeps me going? Is there really something, or someone that helps me to keep on going?
Coz as I look through everything; everyone, they have something behind them.
Well, I hope I find mine too.

She lived with the stars, where he stands beneath them.
She was dressed like the Sun, where he enjoyed the warmth- and
She painted the clouds to gray, while he was praying for some rain.

They were perfect, until I came.

I am the Moon- and took his eyes away from her.
I am the night, as he was begging to share the same bed- and
I am the wind, who blew her away from him.

I was sick last night and I couldn't help but cry,
As the morning comes I thought I'd wake up with something, yet you didn't even try-
To ask if I'm still okay. God, my heart's shattering.
As you speak, like I'm nothing.

You're good and it's good to know.
But a little concern for me? You forgot to show.
I guess if you really want something, you'll be dying to get.
All I hope is that someday, it won't be *regrets.

We kissed, we touched.
We held each others hands, we laughed.
We told stories about our past, shared the same dreams of our future.
We continued to fight for something, even if nothing was there.

Then there came that time of the day, that I need to say farewell.
I’ll never bid goodbye ‘coz it is like slipping away.
But what aches my heart is that I forgot-
The limit that I have, the words I hadn't said enough.

“I love you…” I said.
And you walked away- while I absorbed what I’ve said.
Just those precious words that I pray I could tell you everyday.

I wish I was happy to tell you how I felt-
But what made it worse is that I felt sorry, for I know it’s wrong and you won’t like it that way.

To the messy table we left after our dinner dates,
I always leave veggies on my plate;
Coz you know how much I hate them,
then you'll tell me, with a smile, to eat them.

To the all the places we used to go,
filled with smoke, from both our lungs and so;
Then we'll both promise to begin to stop,
At the end, I'm the only one who made it to the top.

To those new faces we knew,
from my friends, down to you;
I hoped for something that'll last,
didn't know it would be fast.

*All were the same, no one begged to stay.
It's like a routine, over and over again.
I wish I still have the strength to say,
but sorry, my heart lived with pain.

And sometimes, I think I was just a moment in someone’s life;
like a rock to stumble on, or a craving satisfied.

“I call her everyday even just for a minute. Just to tell her things; big or small, and maybe… Maybe that’ll make up her day.”*


- anonymous

The beginning and the end will always have the greater impact than to what’s in between.

Who/what comes in your mind first thing in the morning?*

Obviously, it's not me.

Late night
            Love
      Letters
                  Linger

We live in a world with bursting emotions and unfulfilled promises-
Of utter chaos and deafening silence.-
With unfinished and undeveloped things- including love.

We create something we thought we need-
Fought for anything until we bleed-
In everything we do, better or worse, we take a risk- including you.

We end something that has never started-
Broke something that has been broken-
But we tend to continue-

You talk to me like I’m a complete stranger.
You reply like you don’t have any interest in talking to me.
You think I’m crazy everytime I hug you.
You want to avoid seeing you.

Suddenly,

You would ask if I already had my meal.
You would flood me with funny messages.
You would say you miss me.
You would tell that you love me.


How would you want me to feel? To feel that I am special? That I have some place in your list?

No-

Everything you ever wanted was to keep me when everything you have is lost, and to throw me away when everything you ever wanted is in your hands.