And it was one of those kind of days.
Enjoyment of the little things.
She filled both my hands.
My mind at ease,
She was very good at stuff like that.
Warm to the touch, my hands snug around her.
The way she smelled was life itself.
Flooding my nose with endless memory.
Deliciously swirled & tasted.
My insides fluttering in thought.
No longer empty but filled by anticipation.
This was the kind of weather she was made for.
Jeans, sweaters.
Lazy days to throw any old thing on and lounge around.
It was one of those kind of days she filled my mug,
My hands with hot chocolate.
Her being the very chocolate that warmed my soul

Of all things
Just because

I felt so alone.
every place I went. every place I stopped to visit.
Seemed off.
I followed the noise of everything around me
in the hope of finding something familiar.
I rounded corners, crossed mazes of streets.
I didn't feel like I belonged to any of these places.
mostly filled with strange looks. anxious behavior.
still, I walked.
big city life is too busy.
always somewhere to be. always something to do.
it's easy to lose track of time.
keeping up with the next thing to do, the next place to be.
I felt so alone.
my walk becoming more unease. my shoulders more tense.
nothing really felt warm.
everyone felt cold, lost in the hustle of busy feet.
Shoulders almost bumping into each other,
Cars screeching their horn almost running into the other.
the sanctuary of what I really needed seemed far away.
still, I walked.
meeting the avenue of your eyes. you.
you seemed different.
far different than any place I’ve been.
I felt like I’ve been here before, or at least
Would remember if I’ve dreamed about it.
I didn't need to look at a menu to know what I wanted.
there wasn't a question of where I’d sit, or if there'd be
a seat by the window.
No remembering if I needed to stop at an ATM or if I had the right
Amount of money. I felt at ease.
I immediately knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
if I did continue to walk, it would be into tomorrow.
so that I could come back here.
a patron whose face would take no time to remember.
when the weeks turn into years.
I’ll remember to tell you; this is how I got home

I smell the wild on you.
How the snow is caked in your fur.
When the night falls, what does
It offer besides survival.
And the means to be something
besides human.
We're stuck here somewhere where
The earth has broken.
And the cold envelopes everything it
Touches.
You stand there in the snow
Teeth bared.
Not afraid to go at it once more.
I've grown tired, so very tired.
Your eyes burn the snow.
That fierce longing to stay alive.
What else does the night offer,
We've consumed pretty much
everything else except each other.
And I am tired of fighting.
Nothing pretty survives out here alone,
In the dark.
Together, you and I nestled in each other's warm.
When hunger subsides.
We'll find it in each other

My ideal love is a love that catches me by surprise.
The realization of intelligent things and conversations that literally take us anywhere.
My ideal love is a love that expresses ideal.
The ramifications that influence us to be who we really are in front of who we are.
A love that doesn't mind bargin shopping and putting together hundred dollar outfits that really cost $10.
The reality that its the most simplest of things that are most significant.
A spontaneous love that doesn't mind the predictability of living today before exploring the mystery of tomorrow.
Here after the after thought that we exist in the past as well as the present simultaneously.
If ever in need I'll do my best to provide all that I can for an ideal love.
Through these actions I believe the true miracle is achieved.
An ideal love that is beyond ideal.
Who sets the where and how we meet, the institutions of bliss where the masses are limited to love and longing.
To find patience and compassion sitting on the front lawn on the same institution.
As long as she provides a kiss that can send me outside of my own thoughts, and pull me closer to hers.
My ideal love wouldn't be based on a B.E.T movie.
A single expression that summarizes a scorned woman letting go.
A cliff note of lust soon as the next sceen fades to black.
Her ******* pulled down not knowing the dude is secretly abusive.
140 minutes gone by to realize the last 5 mins were the ones that made her truly happy.
The woes of love.
My ideal love is a woman built with ambition but with a heart big enough to understand that without sacrifice nothing is truly accomplished.
A culture made in truth, ripped off by those who ignore that struggle is what makes us who we are.
The courage to walk out in front and be who we really are.
A real woman that doesn't mind lounging around the house that knows whom Budda and Huey Newton was.
This revolution of ideal starts the moment I realize that I never stood a chance.
The surprise of her lips against my cheek.
I drink from this remedy each time you open your lips.
So in silence I gasp.
As you caught me off guard,
My ideal love

For a moment we’re in perfect harmony.
There is no fear. No worry.
Finding purpose in each other.
Whether the shadows creep through the night.
Or the sun lives out loud during the day.
There is but a moment
Followed by an embrace, then a click.


Unlocking parts of you that I only anticipate.
Though circumstances may vary.
This moment I relive, even away from you.
The way that you sigh, the way that you
Twist and the way that you turn.
No matter where I’ve been.
You tumble then you click for all to hear.


A sigh released into forever.
Echoing down its hallway.
No matter how tight you squeeze.
I am here.
No matter how stubborn you may become.
I am here.
Until the day I no longer exist.


No matter how many hands I may pass through.
I can never replace the way that you hold me.

If you could be anything I'd like you to be an ice cream sundae.
Layered to perfection.
A picture perfect representation of how I see you.
Extra fudge drenched from each edge of the bowl.
Scandalous, the way you'd lay.
Extra cherries sitting on top of your head.
How devilishly **** that would be.
Inviting ourselves to be selfish with no end to how many
spoonfuls we'd take of each other.
Quenching need with melted thirst.
Devoured in everlasting bliss.
The lips that long to taste every inch of you.
Until the bowl is no more

I smeared myself against your bottom lip,
To feel the same warmth
That rests at the caress of
Your lip.
Each breath a breeze,
I myself, resting in the hammock your lips make.
If you sigh I have no fear of being blown away.
Knowing that I've reached the peak of where I've climaxed most.
I don't mind if you bite down.
Being caught between your bottom lip and the top of your grin.
If I could lay here for a while longer,
Caught in the explosion between us two.
The way I've smeared myself far from subtle.
Drowned in the corner of your mouth.

Your lips the softest pillow
I could rest my head.
Your lips the softest kiss I could drown

With the millions and trillions of sparks that light the night sky.
I sat and wished upon the brightest one I saw.
Not once did I think that it would stop in mid flight.
Not once did I think anything planetary would listen to something so small.
A prayer sincere in meaning.
Two physical beings connecting on a spiritual plane.
The manifestation of deep longing burning bright in the night sky.
The law of attraction causing mass commotion against the other stars.
A nervous jitter becoming a representative of deep stares, the connection of eyes.
Watching you hover close to me. Revealing how big you truly are.
The one spark that refused the rest of the match stick, burning for all eternity.
A curious question, would you accept me as I am.
The slightest touch of hearts orbiting a single thought that leads to many.
A rendezvous of hearts missing something unforgettable.
The compilation of stars appearing smaller the close you get.
Arms stretching wider welcoming your embrace.
A huge space rock chipped off along the edges.
In comparison I would be a pebble filling the crater that needed it most.
A fragile thing. Giving ones self to something in belief of fulfillment.
The height of tides now risen to the soles of my shoes. Inching closer to my knees.
In all honesty,
I'll drown in you forever if it means I'll never get this close to you again.

If my next breath happened to be my last,
I'd want your voice to be the last I'd ever hear.
Revealing just how much I thought of you.
A belief that my single purpose for living was you.
This emphasis of religion that is built on devotion .
Far more importantly that I've lived not only myself.
Giving up everything material .
This spiritual purpose that has become more than a mental sensibility .
If heaven was truly found on earth, I'd repent only to hear your voice one last time

If I could be anything
I'd be your pillow.
To grant you comfort in the times you need rest.
To truly understand you
To listen to all of your secrets.
And stay up with you all night
To comfort you.
And reassure you that you are beautiful,
In every single way.
To catch your every grin
Every fall of your tear.
The last time I saw you
You grabbed me so tight
I didn't want you to let go.
The feel of your nails dug in my back.
Whether your hair is freshly done,
Whether you tie it in a ponytail,
Whether you tie it up or wear a bonnet.
I welcome you just the same.
Lay your head on me and just relax.
Frankly, I wouldn't trade anything for that moment
As I find so much comfort in listening to you speak. I've always have.
We were lost in every conversation
That came to mind. Watching the rain drip down the window.
Though you feel that your rambling at times, I think no such thing.
I love hearing about the things that cross your mind.
Your thoughts
Your ideas.
Let your imagination run wild.
Tell me every detail.
I love how you are so fearless in your endeavors.
Your determination
Your commitment, passion.
You inspire me in an way I never thought possible.
To grant you comfort,
By any means necessary
As your pillow

when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
somewhere where I know that you're safe.
somewhere that I don't have to question.
your lips a pendant to the charms
that bang against my chest if I were to run.
the chain of your arms looped around my neck.
not to bind, or to keep stagnant.
to take in the sights, to breathe as one,
just as the planets that clasp together,
dangling from the universe's neck.
and
how the stars gleam and radiate.
bouncing and filling the empty gaps of space.
astronauts know this for a fact.
nestled in the comfort of their ships, sailing the sky.
clutching their keepsakes.
thinking about the love they've left back home.
although I am far from an astronaut.
you guide me through some of my darkest times.
when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
if ever I am lost, you center me

I don't want to drink again
No, not from those lips
That tiny bottle of pending doom with little tiny labels marked warning.
Under the table, grabbing walls
Compensation for the shot glass full of stained breath
There is no amount of emotional comfort that doesn't lead to physical contact.
My lips; your essence
There isn't a support group that can teach that
The urge to resist the glare of the bottle
Simple steps that lead to complete disaster
The calling of your name
The way you splash against my lips.
I don't want to drink again
My bad habit
My secret craving
A distinct hint that I need you again.
Where's pride in this infatuation
The need to have you again
This uncontrollable substance
Marked with warning labels
Bottled emotion that seeps at anytime.
The need of not caring who's around.
Again, pride where are you

Then I realized my mistake.
I searched the world not realizing that the world I longed existed inside of you.
Wherefore I felt I needed some sort of permission.
Some sort of console.
Instead of accepting the card I knew hid face down in a deck of the same face cards.
I manipulated the cards to what I knew best.
The only thing I felt was real.
The inevitable.
I was the veil whom dangled in wait.
The classic a-ha moment when all would be revealed.
Not realizing that I myself was a part of the illusion.
The one I kept at arms reach.
A realm filled with room upon room of smoke and mirrors.
Face down on top of a hat.
Waiting for some sort of hand to reach down and pull me toward what I already knew.
I was stuck in an illusion

Her eyes widened,
Not once did I stop to notice that this was the first time
These words came from my mouth.
Through action yes but never once did I stop to pay attention that I've never said it before.
The words that caused this sudden hesitation.
I mean throughout the course of the day I've thought it.
But until I seen the look on her face it struck me.
Of all things how could I possibly forget that.
It wasn't at all a bad thing, as most silences accompany something bad,
Though silence filled the air the look on her face was in disbelief.
From that moment on I sort of questioned a lot of other things, the kind of things that lead to if I did or didn't.
I never was one to pay close attention to detail.
The subtle hints that I very well might have overlooked.
I suppose I do deserve to be hit in the back of the head
As she stopped in mid sentence, I suppose just as shocked as I was.
In the back of my mind I was really hoping that she wouldn't ball up her fist and hit me up side the head.
All things aside, I was never good at this type of thing and on a daily basis she deserves more than what I can give but she takes it all in stride.
But seriously I hope she doesn't hit me up side the head for taking this long.
She is a bit violent and on top of that she is a ******, going to get a step stool would only make her madder.
Her eyes now widened, eyebrows relived of any crinkle that stretched down to her nose.
Leaving me without a thing to say but the words again.
"I love you"

Sometimes I love my reflection.  
Other times, he's just a bad friend—fixing his lips like he's about to interrupt me before I get my thought out good.  
When I stop speaking, so does he.  
What do you expect? He's me. ****.  
In truth, the bills are paid, and all current business is handled. But something is missing. It’s obvious. He just looks and shakes his head—my reflection.  
I'd be lying if I said I didn't care.  
I've gotten used to the silence that follows me. It's peaceful.  
When I make it home after a long day, if I touch something, I know where it is.  
If I cook something, I know there's more, even if I don't eat it all.  
He sits back and watches all of this.  
My reflection. Half the time, I pay him no mind. Sometimes, it's better that way.  

But sometimes, I wouldn't mind a bit of noise

And Like that.
I had this overwhelming urge.
I don't know what came over me.
I asked God is this the route I should take.
This habit of association.
To **** out what may seem to be selfish.
Time is of the essence.
This illusion of what is definite or what may not be.
Certainly this proclamation arrived out of nowhere.
Again I asked.
Notating my lack of patience.
I found the choir of mind without direction.
They stood and hummed.
Some in que.
Others were all over the place.
Without a podium or overreaction to the problem.

Amen, acknowledging your grace.
This aura highlighting sudden fixation.
I sought guidence.
Leaving the trail Whince I came.
I felt pain in my rib.
A spiritual curriculum decided by what's missing.
Again I asked.
More left to the imagination
A reiteration of urge.
The potency of silence.
Engaged by a look.
I understood what the choir was saying

One of the worst things I could have done
Is blame you for all of the things you couldn't have known.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
Forgetting that you too, are human.
Putting on this front that we aren't as vulnerable as we seem.
Knowing all of the things that I keep from you.
I realized my mistake only when it was too late.
Revealing to you all the things that I thought you knew.
The things you couldn't have known.
How your name drives me insane soon as I hear it.
Staring across from you embracing every moment.
These things not often said not knowing how you'd react.
If you'd really see how important you are
One of the worse things I could have done.
Separating these same feelings in the blink of an eye.
Not knowing if you truly felt the same as I.
Twisting myself in half not realizing how whole you made me.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
I love the way you look at me.
The nonchalant way you'd often speak.
Putting on this front that we aren't as vulnerable as we seem.
How I crumble at the chance I didn't pull you closer.
Too few gaps left to fill.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
All of the things I wanted to do.
All of the things I wanted to say.
The weight of cookies that sit on a shelf.
Often suffocate while no one watches
Never knowing the feeling of being in love.
They often crumble

In monumental testament.
I grabbed a bottle and began to fill it with notes.
In times where reassurance was needed most I replaced the contains of the bottle with thoughts.
Unable to speak in a time where actions proved to speak louder.
Hesitant eyes that waited for reply. Drawing a blank where silence seemed ideal.
On one of the notes I drew a ship on the front and back of it. Sliding it in the middle of the bottle.
Shaking the bottle up and down, I watched it shift back and forth in wave after wave of loose strips of paper.
Rough torn edges, uneven chunks of paper.
Considering myself human for the most part. Taking a minute to walk across the shore.
Watching a ship sail it's maiden voyage.
Blue lines, the smell of paper.
The sound of waves crashing against the sides of the ship.
Sitting down along the side of the shore. Watching a ship caught in a storm of paper.
Reassuringly gathering my thoughts.
The ship drawn perfectly, setting sail across the depth of the bottle.
Leaned upright, splashing down on one note or another.
Following my first mind I sat the bottle on a stack of books.
I still wasn't ready to talk

I've often thought of guitar lessons
Learning the strings to your heart.
To pluck away for hours on in
Learning your gentle curve.
Your inner most thoughts, desires.
An ecstasy that fills the air,
That first takes place with beating hearts.
The first sound that changes lives.
The sound of how deeply I've fallen for you.
Plucking away insecurity after insecurity,
An emotion sincerely felt
Caught in your sultry moan over & over again.
You laid in my arms, in a caress that makes life more beautiful .
Through extension, how much a single moment can mean.
Discovering the best feeling when you stare back at me,
Cradled in my arms.
An undying language no one can take from you or I.
Our loudness the things we've always wanted to say.
Our loudness a passion that makes my heart tap.
Learning the strings to your heart.

In the lapse of a minute, before that same minute revolves into two.
A kiss swoons in the embrace of passion.
A daydream of eternity.
Being lost in a single minute.
Heads tilt in comfort, bringing the ease of comfort.
Eyes no longer weary in the caress of cheeks.
The rapid beating of hearts blossoming from a bud into full bloom.
In the lapse of seconds that leap head first into eternity

To my nose she was a stick of incense.
Filling me whole, her eyes.
The ashes fell,
Spacing her walk.
With smoke closely trailing.
The sun quickly set.
There's no where in the world I'd rather be.
An empty room filled by you.
A hint of spice mixed with something sweet.
The steadiness of warmth no matter day or night.
To relax and fall into deep sleep.
The smoke dancing through my dreams
In wait to be lit again

Whenever you speak
I listen carefully.
Finding much needed serenity.
Placing myself in our every private conversation.
The way you could read my mind.
Your voice a familiar place in my ear.
Those full brown eyes that stare off in a dream.
Sometimes I wonder what's on your mind.
My wish to hug you as hard as I can.
Your chest against mine, eyes closed in comfort.
When you speak I am in ultimate comfort.
This comfort of just being around you.
All the little things I've missed so much.
Inches away from my nose.
The times we've shared.
The touch of your lips,
The smile of seeing your face.
Bursting into laughter.
Most of the time you keep quiet.
And that's understandable,
Those full brown eyes caught in a dream.
When you do speak.
Every word becomes that much more precious.
I listen intently,
Knowing just inches from my nose.
Is the result of a dream I've had quite often

Suddenly it does.

This rapid thing that ticks and tocks.

Look up and it's gone

I suppose the best part of it all
Was that I fell out of my shoes.
Where most would be embarrassed.
In a strange twist I felt a calm peace.
I had nothing to hide,
Outside of the fact that I was falling.
Fall fast I did.
The most beautiful of facts, pleasing to the ear drum of desire.
The harmony of her kicking my chair.
Me falling flat against the ground.
A beautiful sound echoes about in memory.
A short in-flight movie of me falling back into one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen.
House shoes flying through the air.
I assume that I wasted too much time.
So she took matters into her own hand.
Well foot at least.
My inspiration

She was an adventuress.
I'd visit her, though far.
Before we grew apart I'd send letters.
Head leaned back. That old familiar pillow.
That familiar smell of home. The letter I wrote always carried that familiar smell, although far away.
She promised she'd return. Home to a place of comfort.
I knew she found home a long time ago.
Single reason I too became a traveler.
Forgetting where I placed the keys to the house.
Finding a separate road that rounded and round, walking fast I hurried.
Finding the opposite direction more peaceful.
The sky more bluer.
That old pillow no longer familiar.
Until I inherited land and built a house.
Away from the window of her eye

Of all the colors in the world
There isn't just one that perfectly describes you,
A coloring book filled with all kinds of scribbles
and vibrant hues.
Tracing each line with the zest of reassurance.
A splash of purple and brown to highlight the horizon of your eyes.
A budding violet blooming in the wind
With specs of pink and blue between your fingers
An love affair begun with the touch of eyes.
Imagining our bodies drenched in red then double dipped in brown.
Curiously empathizing with pink hearts without the weight of heavy burden
The beauty of coloring outside the lines without hesitation.
In a kaleidoscope lost in an ocean of dark colored hair,
An mosaic colored in bright yellow, blue, green and brown.
Laid flat against white paper expanding in color, devouring each line of insecurity. An kiss over orange eye lids in a flash of white.
Bright stained eyes that sigh each moment that passes.
Tasted in the fountain of lips
Strawberry kiwi, Banana berry and rocky road
Shut flowers, soon to open; flourishing at your very thought.
Delicate with their touch
They Flicker then flash with the quiver of open lips.
Inhaling each breath that spreads against your neck

When you hold me.
Hold me like you'll never let go.
Of all the uncertainty in the universe.
I ask that this isn't one of those things.
To melt into your warmth.
If nothing else is certain you've made a difference
in my life.
With a hug so tender.
I've never been so sure of anything.
Your skin pressed against mine.
Our eyes closed tight.
I dare not open them.
Ruining a perfect moment.
When you are in my arms theres no such thing as distance.
Time seems to walk around us.
Without so much as a single word,
Nowhere in particular to be.
These moments like stars, shooting before our eyes.
Accumulating in the pool of our eyes.
Unable to describe the feeling.
You in my arms.
On of the many things I love about you

In my city
Things get the liveliest after dark.
A song in itself, with lowered vocals.
The kind of song you put on & just drive to.
The kind of song you hold your head up to.
Whether night or day.
In my city
The buildings & bridges like to dress up.
Coming to life at night.
Some smoke cigarettes.
Blowing O rings to the clouds.
Some wear their necklaces made of light.
Draped in gray and beige, pants to match.
In my city
You can find the everlasting lyrics
on just about every corner.
A song in itself, with lowered vocals
Blared loud
a city of rhythm & blues

You and I are just like the moon
Quiet,
waiting for the world to fall asleep.
Regardless of distance,
we just are.

Anticipation makes everything seem that much further,
especially the ache of things we cannot name.
Things that we cannot control.
As close as it seems,
space lengthens while we're awake.

Maybe that's why we surround ourselves with dark things
so that when we open our eyes,
we can think of a name
for how much we miss each other,
Other than silence.
Something that fills the space
While we think

Have you ever been lost?
Lost to the point where you didn't know which way to look.
Which direction to point your feet? And every street looked the same?
Have you ever lost yourself  in a transcendental feeling where you felt that up was down,
And down was up?
A constant wonderment where you couldn't wait for the next moment to come?
A split second that turns into addiction- a moment that feels like your first kiss?
The moment your mouth waters almost out of control,
Wandering about in your garden of thoughts. Replanting every seed. Harvesting the fruit fresh grown by the sun.
Have you ever lost control of your breath?
Hyperventilating into a circumstance where time itself has gotten away
And you weren't at all bothered?
To relive all of the feelings that feel like only yesterday.
Mere seeds that are scattered into the very garden that has become root of where you truly felt your happiest.
A moment where you left your bookmark at home and revised a whole chapter of your favorite book with the biggest smile?
If at all you've ever been this lost, you deserve to be locked inside an insane asylum.
Because most people need a passport to visit the things that truly make them happy

In a world where a hold is placed on perspective, and accomplishment is marked by material things.
Never lose your inner child.
In a world where everyone grows up and forgets the things that make them happiest, never lose your inner child.
In a world where momentarily replaces promise and devotion.
Don't forget that you hold the crayons of your soul.
You can color inside or outside the lines.
In a world where everything that truly makes you smile is frowned upon.
Don't ever lose yourself.
Just be you

You are my favorite song on the album of life.
I am sure others will agree.
Inside I drown in an ocean.
A boy peering into the kaleidoscope of a crush.
A beautiful voice, the progression of how far you've come.
Me appearing to see you in concert.
People don't appreciate you.
Rather comparing you to someone else.
It's exciting to see you covered in bright lights.
That nervous jitter you get.
A star crossing what's left of my life.
My faith in good music restored.
What ever the song I don't want it to end.
I love the way you say love.
The chill felt as you walk pass.
Hunty you never let me down.
The instrumental of your voice.
Even on bad days I listen to your song the most.
God bless you for taking the time out

Eyes lift
Controlling the heart's release of breath
The none constricting motion of the lungs
Emotion shown through listening ears
The heart now following what the eyes see
No longer a grunt made by tight motions
Seeing it's belief,
Straining the strange euphoria strung by tendons and muscles
The gift of giving one emotion to another
Nothing is as problematical as we present it
Unclear changes unselfish in the manner given
This sensation made in haste
To whom this particular change
This nursery of voice that calmly lulls the suggestion of peace
The suggestion of need
of consideration
The improvement of self in order to give
In order to love another as you love yourself
The existence of infatuation opinionated.
Still asking the enlightenment of eyes
The foresight of heart to give in the eye of love
The humble abode of running along without restraint
Free as breath
Feeling the state of complete togetherness
Eyes close
In the most relaxed state
Relaxed in the embrace of knowing
Feeling
Believing

At the end of the day I can't think of a better place.
A solemn moment.
The clutter of all my favorite things.
I lay uneducated, amassed in comfort.
In lieu of scented furniture.
She's with me where ever I go.

A populous of
Things which I notice, not being home in a while.
Conscious to where I lay my head.
A notion only the homeless truly understand.

A nostalgia of born necessity.
I am ignorant.
Realizing only now.
I needed not wait to feel,
The clutter of all my favorite things.

I revere you when I lay in your grove
I am but in an infinity of comfort.
Sealed in open space,
It is in this grove I am found.
I dance in the graduation of being.
Being there,
The expansion of reverence.
A love affair in complete darkness
Before the height of merchant eyes,
Peeking over the horizon.
This moment becoming more precious, more scarce.
I revere you in the occasion that we are firmly planted in the ground.
Just below the grove I am laid
Just below the surface we are rooted.
We are felt.
Our survival depends on it.
Without you I cannot begin to exist

She placed me on top of her head as if I were some type of hat.
Sticking my head out ever so often,
I Rested comfortably in the wool combs of her hair.
Never before have I been able to breathe so freely.
My feet massaging her scalp.
In my honest opinion, I explored a sensitivity I knew nothing about.
Laying in a field of hair.
Dark brown roots,wrapping my finger around natural brown curls.
I wanted to know why she never shared this with anyone else.
Hearing my echo come back to me in complete silence.
Something seen out right, a wool ornament seen in the fall.
Hanging across the greatest joy shared between us two.
Finding home in the follicles of her hair

The stars began to fall,
Coinciding with the flight of dreams.
Silver halos disappearing from sight,
The sky now dim lost in thought,
imagining paradise with eyes shut.
A world so dark,
Caught in a memory where the stars once shone.
A place I thought you'd always be.
The sky now open, without a single star.
A place I always thought you'd be.
Forever in my thoughts I'll keep you

Out of the many inhabitants
Of your heart.
I still pace the downtown streets
Hoping to see your face among the
Crowd.
Whether you are leaving a plate of pasta
Or I catch you walking past the side of a building.
Of all the places I've been
I enjoy being here the most.
If by chance I see your face,
Whether you are alone
Or with company.
I'll keep my hello short
Around the landmark of your dimple
Most of the flights I'd like to take
Really are affordable

Tonight I planned to take flight to the moon with nothing but the thought of you; borrowing your eyes as well as the throb of your heart.
Counting down the seconds until we blast off.
Our silhouette left shone on the face of the moon; our cheeks felt with the blush of the wind. Our face pressed tight from the force of how fast our heart peddles.
With you leaned back
Your cheek pressed against mine, sitting on the front of the handle bars.
The sound of the bike chain echoing off the stars; this cosmic feeling racing,
Pounding through my chest.
Watching you ascend the stars as I've always watched you do in the dreams I've had of you.
Profound, how you've changed my outlook on life.
Losing track of time in the simplicity of how wide your cheeks spread.
Saturated in the gleam of your eyes.
I've lost touch with the reality of everything that is real.
In the midst of waking eyes; I always forget what I dream about.
My perception of you as a shooting star blasting off to the moon
On a bike

Today I decided to pack a bag & take a trip,
Although the roads were the same,
I wanted to go somewhere I have never been.
Traveling a highway vast in length can be so mundane,
There are only so many ways you can go in a straight line.
I wanted to go somewhere I've always dreamt,
To partake in sights every time my eyes closed.
Memories that make it seem like I'm still there. Although gone.
Bright lit stars soon kindling the stretch of sun leading the way. 
The complete and utter randomness of your smile.
The spontaneous moments that last forever in the blink of an eye.
A Ferris wheel paused in motion at the very height of it's spin.
At times I feel like I can touch the sky.
This hesitation of a fluttering heart that races in disbelief, that this in fact
is real. That I am floating sitting still. Paying no never mind that I am afraid of heights.
To wear you with every ****** expression that crosses my face.
If I told you about this height of ascension, would breathing still be considered easy.
The entrance to a paradise of thought, just thinking about getting away.
With words unspoken, the mechanisms move,
Thrusting forward in motion. Falling face first into the thought of you,
Learning about you with a deep stare of unspoken motions, the things no one else knows as the sun is replaced by deep shadows.
A devotion to the fire that rests behind your eye.
The end comes so soon, I had just gotten here.
I have to plan another trip soon as I still haven't explored all the sights

I hated knowing the fact that she was absent.
Missing the feel of her caress.
The arms that slipped over mine as comfortable as a jacket.

It was therapeutic in a sense.
The warmth that accompanied a simple smile spread across my face.
Knowing that she was there.
It wasn't as easy as going to the store.
Constantly trying on jackets looking for the right fit,
Paying no never mind to the tags that read different sizes.

The 2x's. 1x's. Sometimes disused as the wrong size.
No matter the store, there would never be another her.
I hated imagining the chime that would sing from under the mat when one foot hit the right spot walking into the store.
The awkward look passed from one customer to the other, the hassle of standing in line.
No, this was far from comfortable.
The ease of having what you need unexpectedly given to you, all of a sudden taken away.
The seams of her arms tailored around mine.
Snug against my back, her head as the collar laid against my neck, my chest.

What I needed was her, without her nothing felt right

And when I see you
My heart skips a beat,
Walking out into the middle of the street
Without regard to the cars
darting through the intersection.
Some raising their fingers,
Others intentionally driving faster.

Remembering a time,
Remembering a place that
you were everything I needed.
Everything I could have wanted.

And when I see you
My heart so badly wants to
relive those moments.
Stepping one foot in front of the other.
Dodging near miss
After near miss.
Knowing that deep down
I'll end up getting hit
For not letting go

I felt your kiss against my lips,
Long before realizing how much I needed you.
I wish I could explain the depth of how much I drowned in the pool of your

 

eyes,
How much my eyes have wept the times you were nowhere to be found,
You have shown me the definition of your name, as to how important you are.
Your name, the feel of you against every thought.
That was the defining moment of my life,
The precious thoughts that go on with no end in sight,
The sensation that arrives with every smile
How fragile these thoughts really are.
The distance between you and I
the press of your lips against mine, untold truths revealed with something so

 

simple, the depth of sinking, becoming every morsel soaked in your mouth.
The nights spent wondering if you thought of me the way I've thought of you,
These feelings kept deep, sealed in a bottle hoping you'd return but soon

 

realizing there wasn't a bottle big enough to keep these thoughts of you,
I didn't want to, truth of the matter I never did,
Sitting there by the coast of you longing to sail away
Watching you with eyes closed wishing you were here.
To feel your lips against mine,
Eyes seeping deep into yours,
The only thing I've ever seen with open eyes

Black and blue striped leggings,
A small white shirt with dangling hoop earrings.
This is what she wore on a good day in my mind.
Quite the opposite of what I saw when I opened my eyes.
Watching the moon sail across a ocean of stars, the brilliance of stars.
A everlasting testimony.
Regardless the size of the waves that come crashing down.
She shone the brightest.
In a language thats misunderstood all around the world, would she understand mine.
To participate in such tutelage, what joy did I hope to accomplish.
Searching the inside of my eyes,
Considering the brightest twinkle in the sky the wink of her eye.
Releasing the silence of fear in a hopeful sigh.
Without hope of the day, I kept her hidden in my dreams.
Soon realizing the crash course of broken dreams, waking up just before the good part.
As vivid as she appeared when my eyes were closed I believed anything was possible.
Looking to the stars through a telescope, seeing her as the one that shines the brightest

I thirst for you but without proper size cup, what justifies reason.
Beginning to turn the faucet to a slow drip.
Little beads of water subsiding in memory.
Beginning to fill the cusp of hands.
Overflowing
Cascading into the true desire of drenched hands.
Holding near the thought of you.
Splashing down into the ****** of euphoria.
The beads of water that explode on impact in the palms of open hands.
Drops that cover everything in sight, feeling without thought.
This urge predicted with each turn under the faucet of pure bliss.
Unknowingly knowing the feel of your cheeks.
The press of your smile. Tattooed against skin.
The very throb of your soul pulsating against the wrinkles of my hand.
The ripples that occur with each and every thought.
I long for your empathy.
To quench such thirst

It seemed normal enough,
The moment I saw her.
She walked in the store, door chiming as she stepped over the theshold.
nonchalant look on her face
Just killing time really.
I was standing behind the lady at the checkout line
She got closer, standing beside me, asking for singles of black and milds
One rhythm, the other blues.
She was vibrant, letting her voice reign over the cashier ringing items over the scanner.
The sun gave praise to her silhouette, sprouting wings behind her
We made eye contact for a split second
Hair arched behind her ears.
Tight fitted jeans. Jacket stopping at the bounce of her purse.
The sliding door seeming to hold a bit longer.
Her eyes looked right through me, placing a brief hold on giving the cashier my items.
Coke zero, a bag of chips.
I really don't know what made me stop,
Just driving around, nothing better to do.
She was polite, placing one foot in front of the other.
Pausing for a moment longer,
I suppose I was enlightened stepping into her world.
Her back letting the sun through the sliding door.
Paying no never mind to the newspaper and candy littered in front of the register.
Stealing glances of past mistakes as she passed by.
The thing about a perfect moment is that it never lasts as long as it's suppose to.
Exchanging an hello for a sensual look, following the trail of perfume left in her eye.
The over compulsive touch of eyes.
The peace of mind of something out of the ordinary.
The verbal pleasantries of open gestures.
Warm, inviting.
Honestly, speaking never hurt anyone.
Though I was curious if she bit or not

I know this may sound strange.
To know if we could meet again
As if the first hasn't happened.
The same sleepless nights,
The beginning of Summer.
Finally asleep with the thought of you.
The nostalgia of a smile.
Wasting my time in a dream.
To think of myself as an apartment.
You the city I gaze into.
I know this may seem strange.
Staring out the patio window of a one bedroom apartment.
Searching to live in the comfort of again.
To be honest I couldn't be any happier.
The blinking buildings, the backdrop of sky.
It's almost therapeutic, the way I think of you.
To stand on the balcony at night,
Reliving the same feeling of meeting you.
Miles away from any and everything except you.
With your favorite color lighter.
Waiting to hear about your day

I watched Moana today.
I immediately laughed.
And sent you a text

In a odd twist,
You became the official unofficial big brother I never had.
We've long passed the favorite artist, listener thing that totally happened unexpectedly.
There were times when at my worse you gave some of the most life changing advice in the craziest way.
True enough you muffled them kind of low, but turning up my headphones was never a problem.
For each track list there was something that gave insight to things I never thought to think about.
And now, with all the time that's passed.
It's like what happened.
At that point and time I could have easily said without a question of a doubt that you were the pivotal point of the pedestal needed.
That one stone whom refused to be broken.
No matter how hard times got.
Now it's like, where did the old you go.

I use to love her
Two strangers lost on the street,
She never once called