Thank you for my insecurity
Because of you
I will always add a brick to my wall of emotions
Slowly build a wall for security
Because you took the best of me
Destroyed me and pretended to love me
While emotionally manipulating me to fall for your weak minded loveless excuse of existence, pulling me back in with resistance
While my mind told me I would regret this
But with every kiss I found you blameless
Your love was irrelevant
But you still found it evident to destroy my beating heart
You painted over my aching soul
Covered me with your flaws
While you force fed me your insecurities
Now I doubt I could ever love again
Because to feel this pain again
Could be the beginning of the end again
The rumors are true,
Nighttime crowds, hand stuffed hoodies.
Blah blah blah. Yada yada yada.
V neck t-shirts with decals printed on the back of them.
Sweatshirts. Loose cargo shorts.
The holiday of photo galleries captured between blinking eyes.
Tickets sold half priced.
Too bad movies aren't the way they used to be.
A stigma that everything around changes.
A few empty seats, one empty stall in the men's bathroom.
A exclusively graphic depiction of unzipped blouses, unbuttoned pants.
Toilet tissue stuck to the bottom of worn shoes.
Suddenly there's a tote for whatever bag that needed to be held.
But then again we're just chatting, aren't we. Two souls with nothing to do but vandalize each other's mind.
Blah blah blah. Yada yada yada.
I had this incredible itch in my ear
To much dismay everywhere I looked I couldn't find a Q-tip.
My fingers were much to big to reach in and grant any kind of relief.
It just happened out of nowhere, this incredible irritation.
The longer it went on, the more irritating it became.
If it were anything else I wouldn't have considered it a blessing, then there it was.
A Q-tip. Laying on the bathroom counter.
All my life I never thought I'd be so happy to see a Q-tip.
In much delight I grabbed it and inserted it into my ear.
Almost teasing myself first going around my ear then sliding it into my ear-hole.
Twisting it left then right, eyes rolling back.
If you could feel exactly how I did. Reaching that one itch that would drive a sane man mad.
Any amount of money, **** even *** at that point wouldn't do any justice.
Twisting that Q-tip left then right.
I couldn't help but smile.
It wasn't until I pulled the Q-tip out of my ear when I saw a note attached to the end of it.
Wrote in real fine lettering.
I had to squint to read it.
Although I couldn't completely make half of it out, the last part was clear as day.
Out of curiosity. I laughed grabbing the other end of the Q-tip placing it back in my ear.
This time I felt a real sharp pain accompanied by a loud sound.
I instantly threw the Q-tip to the ground.
It didn't make sense to me then, maybe not ever.
But next time I know.
Never disturb a Minotaur while he is trimming the hedge in his labyrinth.
Especially after being warned the first time
It seemed normal enough,
The moment I saw her.
She walked in the store, door chiming as she stepped over the theshold.
nonchalant look on her face
Just killing time really.
I was standing behind the lady at the checkout line
She got closer, standing beside me, asking for singles of black and milds
One rhythm, the other blues.
She was vibrant, letting her voice reign over the cashier ringing items over the scanner.
The sun gave praise to her silhouette, sprouting wings behind her
We made eye contact for a split second
Hair arched behind her ears.
Tight fitted jeans. Jacket stopping at the bounce of her purse.
The sliding door seeming to hold a bit longer.
Her eyes looked right through me, placing a brief hold on giving the cashier my items.
Coke zero, a bag of chips.
I really don't know what made me stop,
Just driving around, nothing better to do.
She was polite, placing one foot in front of the other.
Pausing for a moment longer,
I suppose I was enlightened stepping into her world.
Her back letting the sun through the sliding door.
Paying no never mind to the newspaper and candy littered in front of the register.
Stealing glances of past mistakes as she passed by.
The thing about a perfect moment is that it never lasts as long as it's suppose to.
Exchanging an hello for a sensual look, following the trail of perfume left in her eye.
The over compulsive touch of eyes.
The peace of mind of something out of the ordinary.
The verbal pleasantries of open gestures.
Honestly, speaking never hurt anyone.
Though I was curious if she bit or not
Today before it rains, I'll big a big boat and sail away in irregular sleeves.
Big floppy ones that hang below my wrists.
Cut little slits to slide my thumbs in.
Then I'll buy a telescope and peer through the wrong end,
Thinking far left when everything seems so right.
Sailing in a pool of rain on the perfect day.
Of all the things I brought from the store.
I still find myself being the main ingredient of a certain stew.
For each drop that will fall I will smile.
Maybe a tad bit old fashion. But who else can see things exactly as I do.
Splashing my shoes in odd shaped puddles.
Today before it rains, I'll think of something a bit more subtle.
Something a bit more complex.
**** I didn't have anything else better to do so I thought of you.
Wondering exactly what you'll look like from the other end of the telescope.
So far today has been strange.
Buying a boat for no particular reason.
Seeking kaleidoscopes and telescopes,
Waddling my wrists around in odd fitting sleeves.
Climbing aboard my boat waiting on the rain to pour.
By chance if I were to see you on today of all days, and you were to ask why.
My reply would possibly be the most simplest thing I've ever said.
Taking nothing odd out of context, Or the extra length added to my sleeves.
I'd simply reply.
Hopefully sail away from you.
The telescope was just to distract you
Let's go somewhere far,
Somewhere where I'd hold you tight.
Hand in hand.
Wherever you'd like.
Whether train or plane.
An automobile or an boat.
Either way will be home in justification.
Journeying through each other's eyes, a different aspect of seeing things brand new.
A single step becoming wholesome
Just for the sake of getting up and getting out.
The feelings that dwell within
Anywhere with you, to be perfectly honest.
Venturing abroad in living, breathing color.
Heads leaned against each other in excitement,
The comfort of toes covered in warm sand.
Sculpting each and every memory.
The sun becoming a spec in the horizon.
Exploring every wish, every dream we've found within reach.
The feel of every couch cushion.
Misplaced nickels, dimes.
Caressing the weight of weary legs.
A earth tone colored pattern.
The lobby of every room folded In the brochure of our heart.
All in the autobiography of us.
To live, to breathe in the essence of where the ocean sprays against the gleam of your shades.
The hull of yachts splashing against the oncoming waves.
The ripeness of fresh fruit served at local vendors hidden from the sun harvested by kind hands.
The only thing missing is a good pair of shoes.
Or perhaps lay here with you just a bit longer
From the iron works of my mind.
I invite you to drink comfortably from the cog of warm longing.
Steel beams and steel rods set in heavy slant.
From block hats to angler clothing.
I invite you to the splendor of ships sailing across a mug of spewed oil.
If only for a while to delight in
Iron plates along with nuts bolts and other various knick knacks.
With handles attached to the back of our necks we'd gladly suffice the steam filled cups, the ticking of grinding gears.
Oiling the pipes of gentle longing.
Behold the giant structures wrapped around glass eyes with shaded tint,
Metalized lens and hydraulic jacks enticing fascination,
Between the clock towers of umbrellas and block hats.
All is quiet.
Oiling the pipes that crave but a simple thirst.
Watching the steamships sail across an mug of oil.
Taking turns sipping from the nape of bolted necks and mechanical hands.
Please won't you join me
— The End —