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How are you?
Nice meeting you.
I like you.
You are everything.
I love you.
Forever and always.
We are happy.
We were happy.
But then again,
You left me.
You hurt me.
What went wrong?
You got bored?
You broke me.
I was broken.
And then suddenly,
You are here.
Out of nowhere,
You came back.
I am sorry.
I was wrong.
One more chance.
Words you've said.
Words I've heard,
from your mouth,
full of lies.
Mischief and deceit.
I'm not stupid.
I am strong.
I am healing.
Slowly but surely.
And I replied,
You should leave.
Let me be,
Finally moving on.
Starts with Hey.
Ends with goodbye.
Distance of 6,670 miles,
Coversations that make time flies.

Fleeting moments; endless butterflies,
Where does the fault lies?

Petty and stupid fights,
Words that felt like lies.

Alone during long nights,
Again, tears beneath my eyes.
Never want to leave and say good bye.
I'm here.
A fortress of pillows,
swimming in sheets.
Thinking of you
while it's raining.

You're there.
Eyes closed,
probably sound asleep.
Wishing you are seeing me,
in your nightly dreams.

Endless conversations,
never-ending memories.
I may have know you
only for a few weeks,
But I know you're mine to keep.

So take this chance
along beside me.
Let's make it worthwhile,
just hold my hand
and keep believing.
Dated June 29, 2017
Feel like crying,
What should I do to be deserving?
When you are giving me everything.

Self doubts started coming.
How can I stop this from happening?
Am I really worth saving?
how can this be happening?
That time when you were calling.
You were talking, I was just listening.
Random thoughts you were saying.
Throughout, we were both laughing.

You said your hands were shaking.
And I asked if you were okay.
You and all of these little things.
So much to tell, words I couldn't say.

I felt a little bad after you hung up.
You said hearing me laugh is enough.
You comforted me same as always.
You'll wait even if it takes days.

Roughly a month from that day,
We planned to do it again.
Three sentences as promised.
And that chance was not missed.

At first I hung up so many times.
You were patient until I got it right,
finally had the courage to say hi.
We never wanted to say good bye.

We called that phone call a date.
We did that for  two weeks straight.
And I guess now we are addicted,
To hearing each other's voice as predicted.

We took it one step at a time.
Now I can't let a day pass by,
Even just to hear you for a while.
I love you and this is one reason why.
He wouldn't shut up about the bug but that broke the ice :)

I tried to stay away.
You were?
Yes, but I couldn’t do it.
Can’t you see you’re all that I want?

I’m trying to stay away.
And, I think I can finally do it.
I had been a fool,
Now that I got your clue.
We ended things.
But if I go there, wherever you are…
Would you meet me?

Let me hug you.
Would let me see who you are,
for the sake of my sanity?

Because that’s all I want.
Bare myself to you,
when before you couldn’t see.

In my eyes there were no lies.
That I loved you for real.
When the truth wouldn’t let me be.

To know you’re real.
For you to feel how you affected me.
Would you finally hear my plea?
Long hallways, white walls,
Antiseptic smell, ambiance so dull.

Busy people, stoic faces,
Same procedures, but im in a different phase.

Clock's ticking so loudly,
I wonder if it's finally counting down on how much time left that I'll live.

Been here far too many times,
Been months since my lungs failed.
Who knew it'll be hard for me to breathe air?

Been here far too many times
Maybe next time, It'll be last
And I'm never coming back.
I'm sorry,
careless words turned into a mess.
What meant to be in jest,
was hurtful as you have confessed.

I'm sorry,
until who knows for how long.
Forgiveness you gave to move on,
you said, stay here where you belong.

I'm sorry,
for I didn't mean to hurt you.
Knew I am bound to **** up,
do I really deserve you?

I love you,
you were unexpected.
Changed my life for the best,
I realized I'm so blessed.

I love you,
inside I'm scared shitless.
if I lose you,
my world would be meaningless.
I hope you saw that there's nothing wrong with you.
I hope you realized how special you are.
I hope you didn't give up and kept pushing through.
I hope you felt that you are always good enough.

I know you're tired, sweet one.
I know you tried your best for everyone.
I know you tried to hold on but you can't do it alone anymore.
I know you smiled the happiest smile to convince yourself that is what you felt.
I know for months you've hid and now you're at a point you're thoroughly broken and can't be find.

But I hope one day, you'll come back. If ever not, I understand why.
I can't ever see that it's going to be all right.
Bye, Dane.
I'm tired of the negativity.
I want to stop the paranoia.
Annoyed with my complainings.

I know there's nothing wrong with me.
Though I think that there are a lot so start with.
But you say the opposite things.

And if youre here reading this,
I'll give my word to you...
I'll finally leave the childish me.

I won't let you down.
Please stay
Youre the friend that makes me happy.
Have you realized
How I always stop
What im doing
Just to talk to you?
I'd always free my time
Just to spend it with you

Have you ever felt
Like you're the last person
I want to talk to?
Like I have felt before
Sometimes because of you

Have you ever waited
For something that
Will never come but
You still wait anyway
Even if it takes days
years even

Have you felt
This insanity im feeling
Thinking about you
Every single day
When I only cross your mind
Some days.

Have you ever thought
About what im feeling
All this time?

Have you ever questioned love?
If this is what it's really like
Because im definitely starting to.
A lost boy.
You were a lost boy.
All those times you felt alone,
nowhere to go, a place to call home.
At night, eyes closed, you kept on dreaming.
Wishing to be away from the reality you were in.

An old soul.
You have a special soul.
You may be young,
Yet there are times you feel so old.
Saw the world differently,
Wise beyond our years.

A brave warrior.
You are a brave one at heart.
For all the battles you've faced throughout the years,
and always ready for the upcoming without fears.
Went through many losses that you grieved,
Yet you're still breathing, standing, and fighting to live.

A selfless giver.
You, who don't give a **** about what others think,
You care about your loved ones so deeply.
You don't have much to give but yourself,
always there when a friend needs help.
You gave away happiness and laughter,
even when there is nothing left for you after.

My soulmate.*
In this uncertain life,
You're the only thing that felt right.
Amidst the loneliness and monotony,
we found each other and knew it's real.
It won't be easy, we have a long way to go,
but it'll worth it so we have to hold on.


To the lost boy, I've found you.
A special soul with mine in sync with yours.
To my brave one, you'll never be alone,
carry the burdens and give what you deserve.
When you think you're nothing special,
You're so wrong for you are worth so much than you let on.
Head on the desk.
Staring blankly ahead.
Finger tracing lines and edges.
Tears threatening to fall.
Wishing my heart would hold on.
You stayed up late for me,
Even if I was busy,
Just to be with me.

You started writing for me,
It might be a short story,
But a story about how we'll meet.

You've written a poem for me,
About me, us, and love.
Definitely one of my favorites.

For all these little things,
Simple yet heartfelt,
Makes me happy more than you think.
There’s a star,
I can see it clearly
even if it’s so far.
The sky might be cloudy
that first night,
cold and a little sad,
yet in my eyes
it still shined so bright.

There are stars,
Billion of them in fact.
Twinkling little lights,
the attention they attract.
If there’s a star that
belongs to each human,
I found mine in my life,
the one that caught my eye.

There’s a star
and I call him mine.
He’s my north star,
Always guiding me
whenever I’m lost
or when I’m out of sight.
Dependable and constant,
He’s indeed my lifeline.
I never felt more broken today than I ever did before.

I know I'm never going to be okay anymore.
I'm at that point that I'll give in and stop being optimistic like I used to be. I'm tired of hoping.
One day,
Someone is going
To remember the
Good times that
We shared.

One day,
Someone is going
To talk about
The person
I am today.

One day,
when time ends
For me,
You're gonna
Miss me...

But Im not going
to be here,
It's too late,
I'll be dead.
Time's Running Out.
Never stop hoping for the best.
A month ago,
life was so predictable.
A never-ending routines thinking,
for how long am I going to be like this?
But then you came along,
and I finally found where I belong.

We had our own separate worlds,
but a same life where it's still dull and grey.
Felt like something was missing,
we didn't know what it was yet.
when we still didn't know what to say,
I found a lost soul like my own.

Then comes the second day,
we talked for hours straight.
Endless stories and jokes were said.
At one point you caught me off guard,
with the three special words you've said.
I love you, so random and out there.
Still made me smile nonetheless.

In a span of three days,
you already took my heart away.
Within three days,
I knew I had to meet  you one day.
For three days,
I was falling slowly every single day.
I finally called you mine on a Sunday.

A month have passed,
though it feels like only a week.
And every time you're the one I seek.
We talked, cried, argued, and laughed.
I've never felt like this, so loved.
You became my life, my love.
The best one I'll ever have.
There's no one else
to blame but me.

There's no one else
to have but me.

There's no one else
to be but me.

Therefore, I only
live for me.
Do you wish to go back?
Back to the life you had before?
Back to the life...
where you never knew me at all?
Well, do you?
She who's quiet all the time
But there are so many thoughts
consuming her mind.

She who is easily scared
But likes the darkness where
all of her secrets are shared.

She who is a catastrophe in reality
Yet in peace with her dreams
and out of this world fantasies.

She who is surrounded with people;
But her defenses are up; walls, high
Always have been scared to fall.

She who always try to understand;
Other people but never herself;
Now lost again and wants to be found.

She who knew what happiness like
Clouded by her own mistakes;
Fault and blame, that made her break.

She who needs someone
To sit with her in the darkness
Comforting words, waiting for the sun.

She, who wants to be seen
For who she really is,
To never give up and just believe.

She, the best she has ever been
Bright smiles and carefree laughs
She once had, now, slightly dim.

She, who wants to be fixed
Still trying on her own,
Still waiting to be held.

She, who desperately crying for help
A real mess inside her head;
Tears running, and now she sleeps.
Hoping it'll get better.
I'd rather shed tears every night
Than to cry even in broad daylight
Because I'd be lost and broken inside
If we give up on us without a fight

I'd rather shed tears every night
Missing you so much at midnight
But I'm lucky our worlds did collide
Being with you just feels so right

I'd rather shed tears every night
Longing to finally hold you tight
Even if you're not by my side
You still love me with all your might

I'd rather feel what I'm feeling now than continuing to live without my safe place, my love.
I let myself
cry and hurt.
Felt it deep
inside my bones.
To a point there was
no end to it all.
Let it consume me
beyond my control.
Until I couldn't
take it anymore.
Until I'm so far off,
the girl who I used to be
who was once yours,
won't be the same
when you left me
all broken and alone.
I lived.
Before I met you,
I just lived my life.
I lived for books
and rainy nights.
I lived and took on
one day at a time.
I lived but I
get lonely sometimes.
Then I met you,
I lived with happines
by my side.
I lived with excitement
all the time.
I lived with purpose
in life.

I loved.
I loved living life.
I loved having you
by my side.
I loved the endless calls
and sleepless nights.
I loved you being there
when I get nightmares.
I loved every moment
that we shared.
I loved for the
first time in my life.
And I know,
I'm going to love you
for the rest of my life.

I lost.
I lost my perspective
and my will to live.
I lost my motivation
and the fight in me.
I lost the love of my life.
I lost you
and honestly?
I lost my happiness,
I feel like dying
every second that
passes by.

I died.
I died. I hurt. I feel.
I died. I cry. I scream.
I will die.
I die in deep slumber.
I die in endless sorrow.
I died when you left.
Silence in death.
Now all I know is
I'm dead.
I've always wonder
What it could be when
You said there is
Something about me.

You proved to me
That your feelings
Were genuine and real.

I fell, fell so hard.
How could that be?
You made me believe.
You made me so happy.

You changed, you left.
I was left bleeding.
I wish I didn't feel.

You're gone but
**Im still holding on
One day at a time.
I'll be alright.
(c) D A N E
I have cried
So many times,
Hidden and silent.

I have stared
At nothingness,
Felt my heart breaking.

I have waited
For so many calls
From you that never came.

I have believed
Everything that you said
I guess some weren't true.

I have been left
By you waiting for
The things you said you'd do

I broke my heart again,
Because I thought, finally,
I'll stop being used by you
Looks like I'm gonna have to sleep
Hoping I'll feel less sad when I wake up.
Im far from home
It's been months
Since I've been alone
Since I've been
On my own

Im at this place
Supposedly a new start
Yet couldn't figure it out
How to move forward

I've lost control
Long ago
I have been stuck here
For so long
I wasnt even trying
At all

Im far from home
A new place to start
Yet I've brought with me
The feeling
Where you left me
Im still at this place
All along
Sweet relief,
Left me in bliss.
From your mouth;
To my hands;
Singing softly.
In my vivid dreams,
Drenched in honey.
There are times when I wanted to write,
times when I was ready to burst inside.
Sometimes they were thoughts of a happy life,
sometimes they could simply make me cry.
Oh, how broken I am in my heart and mind.
And of course baby, you’re the reason why.
Strangers who started with a simple hello
Ended up to having a 30 minute video call
Who would have even known
You'd take my heart like it's your own

My walls were build up so high
Worried that I would lose sight
But you're the guy who is right
Maybe, just maybe, I am worth the fight

Meeting you made me feel so much anticipation
A little anxious but I paid no attention
It definitely went beyond my expectation
Im glad that I gave in to your little persuation

We're like a living fictional story
We can be really cliche and cheesy
Even if some moments were fleeting
I'd never replace it for anything

Just like any other story
We have our fair share of fights
We've promised to always say sorry
And to kiss each other goodnight

Some days are a little harder
I miss you more than ever
For us I try to be strong
You say, it won't be very long

For us, the comfort sets
And as sweet as it gets
Please let's not forget
How it felt when we met

This is for the guy I've always dreamed of,
The guy I would be giving my all
The guy whom I love each day more
My heart and soul are forever yours

For I am the girl you said who people write books about
The girl who'll be here for you all throughout
Im not perfect and can be quite crazy
But I'll do my best to keep you happy
I woke up from a nightmare, all of my worries turned into dreams. Writing this made me feel better because I get to think about him.

So to the guy who makes me feel better by thinking about him, Im really terrified to **** up what we have when you're the best thing in my life.
Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you.
These words that I have said.
And I don’t from you.*
Your words that made my heart bled.
Sadness is a heavy weight to carry around.
No wonder we feel the tiredness deep in our bones and soul.
Why can't I write about you when you're the one?
Heart thumping.
Body numbing.
Left me gasping.

For once, someone saw the truth I've been hiding.
I finally stopped writing.
Yet here I am again, scrawling.
For I have written about what I felt,
the tears and numbness I've dealt.
Now changed into whispers of hope,
a touch of calmness, a chance to cope.
Somewhere between
our unconventional hello,
and now, our almost good bye,
I lost a piece of myself to you
that I'm never getting back.
A piece that will be left behind and forgotten.
Now I'm back to being broken.
.10 Words.

No one else will ever own me like you did.
I feel like time is running out,
And everything will soon go south.
Together, we have lesser time,
It's starting not to be fine.
I'm just really missing you,
Looking for attention out of the blue.
Paranoid and Needy
Misplaced feelings.
Thinking it was the real thing.
Temporary people who are typical.
For what we had was fictional.
At night
When eyes are closed tight
Tears falling in endless sight
Nothing had gone right

In my mind
A place tonight I feel so confined
Negativity I'm hiding from behind
A state no one should find

So ashamed
With this feeling that overcame
I only have myself to blame
Disappointment when I hear my name
Trying too hard, on the verge of desperation.
We are just broke kids with a lot of dreams.
How many times will my heart break,
because of the same person
Over and over again
You tell me you love me every chance you get.
Two weeks ago, since the time when we just met.
We talk. We laugh. I ask, what do you see?
I don't want you to fall in love with me.

Now I'm left wondering,
how is it easy for you to say those three words you've said.
Mind is now floundering,
cause I think this time, these feelings would leave me dead.
It's dark tonight.
Seems darker than
it usually does.
Or is it just the way
I see things now.

Lights are so bright.
From my view,
High above.
I keep looking down.
How high am I?

It's chilly tonight.
My feet are cold,
My soul follows.
Half naked but
fully exposed.

On the floor,
Sitting in front
Of the window.
I will fall
To reach the sky.
So long.
Eyes twinkling when you look at me.
Secret smiles which make my hands shaky.
Your sweet and careless laugh filled glee.
Your words, a song, that set me free.

You and me.
Touched with feverish haste
and kissed that left an aftertaste.
In my dreams and fantasies.
Did we ever truly be?

In a state of hollowness,
searched for you in the darkness.
Numb, alone, and lonely;
This is what's left of me.
Cleaning up drafts.
Dared and took a chance to hoping you'll remain.
Anxious and broken with the same cycle all over again.
Numbness settled deep in our very souls.
Never alone but the loneliness always follows.
Years with you would finally take away the longing and pain.
Next time would be better.

— The End —