The sun is out
but the butterflies have all died
The blooming, the blossoming
the rustling greens have dried

The cold, humid, passionate
nights have all gone
Where once there was love
new love has been born

I do not despise you
I never could
I respect, and adore you
Wish you the best, I always would

But
That’s all you are
I scratch the surface
To find something I can indulge myself in
Something more
Deeper, something meaningful
I scratch
I scratch
I scratch
That beautiful face
It’s beautiful no more

Do you know...
What families are made up of?
What cousins plan to do to you, behind your back?
With whom father was having those long conversations over the phone?
What happens with some of the best friendships?
Why loving a lover almost always only hurts?

Maybe we fail to decipher this world
Maybe this world fails to express more s*imply

Last night I broke my heart
As I realized my road is meandering
So I decided to burn the highway
Alone
I reckon I once set out at dawn, when the sun was still
no where around
But you came with the daylight, or did the sun come chasing me, with you?
We rode through a pleasant morning
And through a sunny noon
Even through wild jungles
As the raindrops tainted our skin
Oh and when the clouds climaxed
How our thirsty lips sinned
You held me warm in your embrace
Through the coldest of nights
And as dawn knocked on our door again
We set out to burn the road, yet again
But it's been a while, I've been riding
I don't see you by my side
Or in my way, not even in the rear view
Maybe you'll meet me at the crossroads
I think, I hope...as I cross many roads
With your thoughts crossing my mind
Our paths...not yet, no
Oh but I'm closer to a turn now
It's a hairpin and I'm perhaps at 100kmph
If I see you there, will I be able to stop?
Will I skid or run you over, I know not...
Maybe I should just...stop!

The rain pours
Outside
As we sit
In my car
I occupy
The driver's seat
You...
my heart and head

It is all pretense
That we are intelligent
Today is our day!

Have you noticed lately?
How people diss everything big and small
Things they cannot relate with
Things they cannot comprehend
As if, the onus lies on others - people and things
To be self-explanatory, to spoon feed
As if, a mystery should as though unravel itself
As if, we have no part to play here
As if, everything is for us to enjoy
But never to be pursued
As if, life should come easy,
And everything in it, everything that comes with it
As if, death too, should come easy
And maybe this makes sense to everyone
This fashion of thought
Maybe I'm the only one who cannot fathom
The depths of stupidity in thinking so
Maybe, I cannot relate
To the ways of the world
It's a strange world,
As if, the onus of becoming comprehensible
Is on the world...

I was
Too boring for him

He was
Too frivolous for me

I'll write you a poem
Another day
I'll write you one
When I can
Right now
I'm just too lost
I thought the poet in me
Would die when something
Terrible would happen
And not something
Terrific!
But then here I am
Swimming in numbness
Drowning in mush
Feeling so much
That I feel nothing

I'll write you a poem, my dear,
Another day
I'll write you one
When I can
When I feel a little less intense
Right now, though,
I'm just too consumed
Let me be here
Let me be...

You shed your skin
And showed me how
Our scars are different
But we both have them
We both wear them with pride

You stepped into my waters
Now they are forever changed
They flow through many banks
Falling off a few cliffs
Diving into a plunge pool
Swirling a whirlwind
In my head, it's dizzying

And every fortnight, the world
Hits the brakes and inertia jerks my world
Into this mess of 'what happened's
And 'what went wrong's

And when the pendulum
Reaches for me, I reach out too
But even when I have a grasp of it
I'm only a **** away from falling
Into infinite insignificant space

My mind is full of rhymes
Too clouded to find
A single one to pen down
Words beautifully woven inside my crown

Another page I turn, some courage I gain
But more than the ink, my tears stain
The empty white sheets that you've left with me
I pushed you away, but through my actions, couldn't you see?

I needed to hear something you'd say
That would give me a sign, hint at me to stay
Now all but your memory and this silent night remains
And more than an aching red, these heart wrenching beige stains

I am so sorry, my dear
I really, truely love you
I just don't show it
I cannot, not always
Sometimes I do little things
For you
Sometimes, I stop
I wonder if my efforts help
Do they matter?
Do they fix anything at all?
I wonder, and so I hesitate
And as you twirl in your own trance
From dusk to dawn
My hopes follow the rising sun,
And I try
Again
To do something
However little
Even if it makes
A speckle bloom
I'll be glad

"I'm hurt and crumbling
Little by little
Each day"

"YOU are not hurt
Your expectations are
Your emotions are
Your tender little heart is
But YOU...are more than that"

"People hurt me
Especially the ones I like
Especially the ones I open my heart to"

"Because YOU let them. Love them, but remain detached"

"How do I connect if I remain detached?"

"Detachment
isn't disconnection, my child
It isn't holding a flower
and your nose
It is
escaping in the beauty of its fragrance
yet remaining grounded
knowing the fragrance is real
only because of perception
If you perceived it to be foul
It would be foul smell
but you perceive it as aromatic
So, so it is
Detachment is being aware
of perception
and reality
and the illusion of it all
It isn't disengaging
it is knowing
engagement
and of it
within
and without"

I never believed
Till I experienced joy
It is depressing

Hey, you...me
Stop paying heed
To that cacophony
Of tainted intention
And misinformed opinion
Listen to that voice
It speaks softly
But tells you everything loud and clear
The voice that you think comes from within
That is me
On the outside, looking in on you
Trying desperately, to reach you
From another dimension
As you live
The life
I already have
In the past

My heart learnt today
It can now beat for ever
Not for a reason

Seated, flipping through stories
Some cause a grin, but you're not pulled into any
A yawn, a stretch, and your eyes meet mine
The curving of your lips; butterflies inside me, so many

Sinful grin. Dark eyes.
A hungry soul, you know why
A beckon in pantomime, and I follow command
This moment. Such a high!

Magnetic gaze. Distances distanced.
Arms around close the bait
Pursed lips, not a word spoken
But love begins to communicate

Emotions rise, a tear falls
A thumb to the cheek, foreheads meet
A kiss on the temple, the warmest hug
A moment, forever. Could anything be this sweet?

Butterflies
In my stomach
Would go berserk
Each time
You said something
Each time
You did something
As also
Each time
You didn't

I've always appreciated you
On the outside

Eye lashes that flutter
Acting like a wand
Soft brown eyes
So humble and warm
Curls so beautiful
They sing their own song

Until, slowly, I started to notice
The world of wonder you carry around

A mind, a melting *** of creativity
Always overflowing

A heart, like that of a mother's
Always so caring

A soul, a galaxy of energies
Always showing...

...beauty

I love you
So much
I dream
Of saving you
From drowning.

I despise you
So much
I dream
Of drowning you
To death.

Every day.

Words are not needed
Not too many, not always
To touch many hearts

Hurt

And unwilling
to fall again

We'll keep touching
each other's hearts

Carefully

Not to cause more cracks
Or to expose our own wounds

Because diving freely
In another
Could mean the risk
Of drowning

And isn't it better to be alone?
Than to be together only to feel alone

So I'll gift you a full smile
Shed some light on your aching heart
Water your gardens
Until you bask in the bloom of shining light

Friend

I'll be another traveller
On your journey, and join you
When you're scared

To take the plunge
To discover broken pieces
Of your soul

I'll help you unpuzzle
If I am able to keep up
Myself

I'll treat you with my whole heart
but only half a hello.

You've been away, a while
I didn't miss you
You promised to stay
But I didn't kiss you

You held my hand
and my neck too
Hello again, you return every while
Why do you?

After all the lows
You've put me through
You still think you'll win
You have no clue!

I listen to my heart
But to my mind too
I listen to my soul
To ME, not to you

I love this moment
where time has slowed down
Your fingers learn to take a flight
just micro-millimeters above the ground
And the earth, she quivers
when you are so close
Yet not, not yet...sinking into my skin
But I love this, how love flows
Your lips merely touch
my eyelids falling with the weight of diffidence
To my sigh, my warm breath falling on your neck
You smile as a consequence
I love this moment
The vibration of your voice
reverberates through your chest
as it invades my palm, as I silently rejoice
It flows through and meets the synchronicity
of my beating heart
Oh how my name gets new meaning
when it flows from your warm lips
still exuding the fragrance of love
I love how your gaze rips me apart
into mere bubbles in the universe
How your soul kneads into mine
And are we even you and I anymore?
I love how your existence echoes every time
How I fail to decipher which thoughts
belong to you and which are mine
Do I love you or do I love my reflection in you?
Or do I love the reflection of
your reflection in me,
that mirrors through you?
What substance is this love?
I know not, but I know I love this moment
I wish, though,
I could live this moment
even when I opened my eyes

Hey you, smile today
At yourself, and at the world
Shower them with love!

You came
You conquered
You stayed

Even as you left

You
Consume what comes your way
Bask in the light of day
So easy
On everyone around
From cracks, through, you make your way
Your tendrils embellish, enliven
The monotony of concrete walls
Your blooming songs
Attract buzzing and chirping bones
So silently, slowly, you encroach
But barely conquer
You rule the heart of this blooming world

What is this game
Of hide and seek
That you play
With a heart you otherwise love?
You seem to like
To watch it bleed
The more it oozes out its life
For you
The closer you get
To **** on it
But what when I bleed?
Suddenly my stains
Are ugly
My mind is scary
But my heart is shaky
Coffee
And chocolates
And flowers
Don't heal me
A warm hug
A caressed forehead
Some loving words
Would
But you'd never know
Unless in another life
You take birth as a woman
And experience
Love
Overflowing
Every single day
And only the colour of love
Overflowing disgust
On 'those' days

I know how you feel
On knowing it was I who killed her
But she kept on begging
From the other side of the mirror

The way forward
From left to right
From the bottom, upwards
Version 1 to 3.0
We progress
In hope that we're improving
Enhancing
Building up
Refurbishing
Innovating
But are we, really?
We come a full circle
Only to learn
Life was never complicated
in the first place
We made it so
In our pursuit of oversimplification

It's that time again
When the tides rise
In roaring symphony
Like the howls in our souls
A time for emotions
To sing and indulge
In a mad dance
That would confuse one's whole
It's that time again
For energies to take a flight
As spirits float about, exhilarated
By the rock outshining every star in sight
When our demons challenge and test
The patience of angels hiding in their heart
When he who learns to invoke a guide
And channelize intent, learns the art

I am beautiful
Inside and out
With the most enigmatic eyes
And a heart of gold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am a mouse
I cannot opine
Because I have no opinions of my own
I can never be bold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am a ******
A semi-psychotic person
Who is warm, one moment
And another, unpredictably cold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am coy, too shy
Too straightforward
For this twisted world
I'm from an era too old
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am bold, too bold
In my sexuality
I am losing character
Of which, I need to get a hold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am not a woman, or even human
No really, I'm an armchair
I am not who I perceive myself to be
My identity belongs to them, me - they mould
                                      How do you know?
Do I have to be told?

We have had Batman
So there had to be Joker
He got elected

~ Chi

Josephine, Josephine, Josephine, Josephine
I told you to leave my man alone

Josephine, Josephine, Josephine, Josephine
You did not listen, now you reap what you did sow

Your beauty was beyond compare
But now you're left with half your hair
And he seems to have lost interest in you, Josephine

I told you, "stay away from him!"
But your superficiality won him
Now, as it fades, the spell breaks, Josephine

I always knew my love was true
And without me, he would feel blue
He called several nights to say so, Josephine

Today he's back, regretting he left
But guess what happens, happens for the best
He wont leave love again for lust, Josephine

Josephine, Josephine, Josephine, Josephine
I thank you for trying to take my man

Josephine, Josephine, Josephine, Josephine
He's learnt his lesson - love him truly, only I can!

You come back
Saying you are a changed man
No matter how many times
You change your land
No matter how deep
You feel, you say you can

You cannot
Match the rhythm
Of my aching heart
You cannot stop
And start
You're mosaic
And I'm basic
Blues
And hues
Of grey

You think pruning
Makes a pretty garden
But I foresee thorns
Growing beneath
The perfectly perfect surface

We had a canvas each
You and I
Half and half
We could've painted
But you chose to taint it
And now you hope
That we could add
A layer or two
Fix what's broken
Between me and you
You don't realize, emotions take time
Even if I tried
It could take me a lifetime or two
To fall in love with you
If
Ever

It comes often
As a surprise
Wrapped in a warm,
Fuzzy, mint blanket
Of love,
Concern and care
And falls like rain
Causing the flowers
In our garden
To dance in full bloom

Lara woke up with renewed zest
As she did every day
Concluding morning things
As she did every day
She waited by the window
As she did these past few days
Mark didn't return by noon
So she waited another entire day
The sun had visited and long gone
Darkness soon came to stay
Tired eyes filled with dried tears
Lara wondered why Mark went away
But soon, came Morpheus to divert her attention
Into sweet reveries of Mark, of happier days
Lost into temporal reality
As dusk progressed towards dawn
Found herself waking into Mark's sweet arms
the zest in her was reborn

The shimmying shrubs
The gliding winds
The arm wave of the saline waters
The b-boying frogs
The popping, locking, ducking birds...à terre
Them, breaking into an allegro
The nature was a symphonic metaphor today
A dance lesson, that I did let lose and learn

The one who melts you
And sets your aching soul free
Will also **** you

My heart's floundering
Unwilling to trust my mind
And its perceptions

Eyes meet, hearts kindle
One step...
                                            Two

Petals unfurl, minds unravel
Two steps...
                                          Three

Strings entwine, souls bind
Three steps...
                                           Four

Inhibitions shed, vibes align
Four steps...
                                            Five

Halos crack, fangs emerge
Five steps...
                                              Six

Curiosity begins to surge...




    -----  Intermission -----

Another dab of red on her lip
A final spray of fragrance
Baubles cuffing her dainty wrists
And a spring in her step

She steps out and steps into the car
Their eyes meet, a sparkle across one of her 32
He nods with a giggle, "Finally, the day has arrived..."
Zestful fingers turn the key, the engine revs up

And like always, she completes his sentence
With a bright one across her face
"Yes, the day we set each other free."
And together they burst

While little Macy and Phillip
Make promises, young in love
From afar, below the cliff,
They see light shine so bright, like fire burst

And perhaps, they were only firecrackers
Thinks Phillip, his innocent mind
Unable to tell a blast from a burst
But Macy knows, for she caused the brakes to fail

My bubble gum
Little plum
Fountain of joy

She's down
With flu and a frown
And a hesitant smile

It's really hard
Breaks my heart
To see a little cub cry

To endure suffering
Crying, not lying but tossing
In sheets of discomfort

But her fervent eyes show
She'll regain her glow
Such a tiger, she is, at heart

I adore souls like hers
Loving, innocent, but terse
Every hindrance she'd outsmart

Cow dung
She hung
Between her legs

Dry leaves
She'd weave
Into disposable wear

Even second hand sanitization
Was considered better condition
So she ducked into the safety of unknown risks

Absorb, if it could
Wear it she would
No space for concerns, no choice

On one hand they say
Empowered today, we women, stay
On the other, stands she, in rural patches of ignorance

One fine morning, as the sun looked swell
A bunch of kids decided to head to a newfound beach
Enamoured by sea and sand
They chose to accompany the sun and the moon there
They tested the sand, mixed in some water to hold
Resumed the moulding and holding
The sand together
They kept the turtles at bay
And flicked away any baby ***** that showed up to claim their homeland
They shot the black birds that came to rest by the castle
For this beauty was theirs to relish alone
Some doves were entertained with food,
But no menace tolerated
Except for that of these blond brats
Yet, the day seemed swell
And fair
Then came a boy, big and bullyrag
Who twitched, punched, threw a tantrum
For this was his playground
He seeked power, and have it he shall
Just like every rowdy, stubborn, spoilt kid
And when rebellion surfaced, he stomped
Killed the *****, and turtle blood spill
The boys left aghast, he messed up America
Or did he...alone?

I told you,
didn't I?
If you don't water the mint plant
It'll die
Oh alright,
I can see it isn't dead
yet.
But plants are like love,
my love
They'll bear fruits
Even non-fruit-bearing plants
Will gift you something
But you cannot keep taking
and not give a thing in return
You need to tend to them
Nurture them
Talk to them
Give them your time
Then watch them flourish
Into something beautiful
And perennial
Spreading their fragrance
All around
All year round