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673 · Mar 2022
Woman
ARI Mar 2022
Because I am a woman

My mind thinks faster
My hands are kinder
My breath comes more controlled
My temper is softer
My soul more forgiving
My resilience stronger

But you see me as weak
For no other reason
Then the fact I am all woman

Yet my boots are just as heavy
My uniform just as worn
My skills just as sharp
I run into the danger just as quickly as you do
And yet you get a smile and a nod
And I just get dismissed

Because I am a woman
As a female EMT I am often dismissed as weak the moment someone lays their eyes on. Before even a word is spoken they’ve deemed me useless because what woman belongs in a uniform? I spend everyday fighting the issue and every day I set someone straight.
649 · Dec 2013
Dissapointed
ARI Dec 2013
She sits and waits
Begging for that boy to prove them wrong.

He’s never going to come
they all say.
You’re too good for him!
they all say.
You’re wasting your trust.

Please she pleads
Please don’t abandon me.

She waited for him for hours
And sang for him forever,
but in the end
That boy never came for her.


-ARI
640 · Oct 2014
Back of the Book Store
ARI Oct 2014
Shes the girl
Sitting in the back of the book store
reading old stories
everybody else ignores

If you take
the time to ask her name
She wont answer you right away
for she trades with the characters on every page
and cant always remember which she claims

On the outside
Shes looks shy and recluse
and you notice she never notices you
Thinking something must be wrong with her
But my dear, if only you knew

In her mind
Shes dreaming, dancing, and laughing
So lost in all her sweet adventures
In her own little world
where everything is beautiful
638 · Oct 2016
I'm Not Having Fun
ARI Oct 2016
It* is like
I was sleeping
peacfully
Then suddenly
I woke up in the middle
Of a circus; All eyes on me
And I'm 100 feet
In the air balancing
On a rope thinner than
My hair; it breaks
I'm falling and everyone is screaming
Then suddenly
There's silence and my eyes are closed
Something heavy is in my hand
I open my eyes
There's a thick whip and hoop
Pressed into my hand
An angry lion stalking me
I'm shaking
Not knowing what to do
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
I chant to myself
But it's too late.
He knows.
I try to scream, I try to run
But before I move
He already has me pinned
His teeth crushing my throat
My blood gurgling within
My gaping mouth
Then suddenly
My head is bursting through
Salty waves and I'm bobbing
In the thrashing ocean.
I cannot breathe.
My arms flailing for something,
Anything to save me.
Hands grasp my shaking fingers
I think I am safe.
Then I wake up
Back inside that circus.
The Lion is waiting.
I cannot escape.

-ARI
638 · Mar 2015
Misused
ARI Mar 2015
My heart was a blank piece of paper
Crisp; clean; untouched
Waiting patiently to be trusted with beautiful words
Written by the warmest hands
Treasured forever like a sweet memory

But you came along and without permission
You wrote the harshest poetry
Cruel thoughts leaving imperfections
Scratches; scribbles; illegible rambles
Like too thick blankets suffocating me

Sadly I have learned
Few people believe in recycling.

-ARI
638 · Mar 2018
Help
ARI Mar 2018
I am a victim of self hate
And never ending insomnia.

I swear my bones are crumbling
Inside the flesh of which holds
Nightmares and maniacal dreams
Embedded within my genetic makeup.

I swear every morning my eyes open
My very entity is ***** by anxiety.

My soul is pregnant with Its child-
Panic of which eats at my mind
Leaving me to starve without an ounce of
Peace.

-ARI
If you’d be willing to send me a kind message, I’d greatly appreciate it.
637 · Aug 2014
Not the Girl
ARI Aug 2014
Please
do not tell me
that you love me

Because
Ill be the girl
who broke your heart

For
I do not know
how to love back

Please
do not be angry
when I leave you

Because
I am the one
who always gets away

For
Im not the girl
for someone to love

-ARI
636 · Sep 2017
Wine
ARI Sep 2017
The seductive siren
Swimming in the angry seas of my life
Singing softly of the sweet peace
My tormented soul prays for.

I did not know I was in danger
Of drowning until I was close enough
To see the demons dancing
In the darkened depths of her eyes.

She caught me.

-ARI
629 · Apr 2015
Loved By A Poet
ARI Apr 2015
If a poet loves you,
Treasure every word
Of which falls from their dancing lips.

For they will be the one to engrave
Every syllable of your name
Into every crevice of their soul.

They will braid your everlasting joys and sorrows
Into beautiful intricate stanzas
Forever tattooed on their vibrant mind.

They will spend countless hours
Weaving together letters for the perfect "I love you"
Without ever using such words.

If a poet loves you;
You will be 'ever etched into their heart
By the ink of sweet eternity.

-ARI
627 · Dec 2013
Lifeless Doll
ARI Dec 2013
Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Taunting me in every way.
Whispers soft, yet loud and clear.
Rushing through my tender ear.

Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Pulling on my worn out nerves.
Waking up to tortured screaming.
Proof to show that I was dreaming.

Lifeless doll atop my dresser,
Said to be simple cloth and stuffing.
Filled only with white gentle cotton.
Though the depths of her eyes seem cold and rotten.

-ARI
619 · Dec 2015
R.P.
ARI Dec 2015
I have often wandered
Through the forests in his mind.
'Ever changing landscape
I've been lost in too many times.

I have calmed countless storms
Even as they've damaged me.
'Ever striking lightening causing
The roots of his soul to bleed.

I alone have discovered
Caverns hidden in his head.
Dark and  jagged memories
He never meant to be said.

I have climbed mountain
Peaks piercing the crystal sky.
Such vibrant rays of smiling sun;
You'd never guess he wished to die.

-ARI
615 · Oct 2015
Ink Blots
ARI Oct 2015
Youve asked me
To describe her
For you say you want
To understand her.

But all I can say
Is  that she
Is simply a poet
With a shattered pen.

Life's ink has stained
Her slender fingers
Dark blots cover her paper
But still she writes.

You cannot understand
Illegible scrawls
Scattered across
Once clean paper.

To you it seems as if
She's finally gone mad
Perhaps she has
Always been mad.

But she is brilliant
For she has hidden
Her broken pieces
Beneath those ink blots.

If you truly want
To understand her mind
I suggest you start reading
In between the lines.


-ARI
610 · Dec 2013
Beautifully Broken
ARI Dec 2013
Legs twisted
Arms bent
Body broken
Head limp
Eyes empty
Fingers tensed
Voice cracked
Grace gone
I am
Just another
Broken dancer

-ARI
609 · Oct 2015
Cold
ARI Oct 2015
As I placed my hand
Upon your naked chest
The heat of your skin
Seeped into my fingers.

I had said, "You are so warm
And I am quite cold."
I quickly realized, no truer words
Have ever been spoken.

I wish your warmth
Could heal my soul
But I have been frozen
Far too long; I can't be saved.

-ARI
609 · Feb 2014
Abandoned Bridges
ARI Feb 2014
Brick after brick I laid down
To create a bridge to your heart

Years Ive spent assembling
A path to the one I love

Fingers sore and hands bleeding
Heart pumping and head aching

I was so very close to you loving me
Until you turned around

My bridge had hit a wall so hard
So I started yet again in a different direction

I had built a thousand bridges
Tore down a thousand walls

But you built your walls faster than I
Could ever tear them down


-ARI
605 · Oct 2018
More Than a Hobby
ARI Oct 2018
These are my people
And these mats are our home.
We connected through the passion
Embedded in our bones.

Everyday we’re here
We’re renewed on our mats.
Theres sweat, tears, and blood on our Gis,
On our rash guards and spats.

We strive to train hard
And always remember
This family we’ve created
We’ll never surrender.

-ARI
604 · Nov 2021
Untitled
ARI Nov 2021
Sometimes

I just feel

A little empty

A little upside down

Like everything inside me

Is screaming to get out
594 · Apr 2015
Living Lighthouse
ARI Apr 2015
Stand tall
When you're feeling low
Be a Beacon of light
For the broken souls

Be their strength
And give them hope
Together you will find
Your forever home

Hold them tightly
Keep them close
Let them know
They don’t have to be alone

-ARI
593 · Jan 2015
Maniacal Numbers
ARI Jan 2015
I scratch at my rib cage
Nails clawing at my skin
As if I could scrape away
The extra weight I feel I've gained

It's like the devil's inside of me
He's disfiguring my bones
I fall to my aching knees
God make him leave me alone

Trapped inside my eyes I'm  screaming
The numbers on my scale are screeching
Their maniacal laughter devours my dreams
Someone save me I'm afraid to sleep


-ARI
ARI Mar 2015
I have wandered countless miles through her running mind;
Ever changing landscape I've been lost in many times.

I have felt the scars so deep sleeping on her body;
A different kind of sleeping beauty I hope never wakes.
I have had her dreams wrapped around me;
A long flowing skirt dancing with my movements.

I have touched the burning flesh of monsters in her mind;
Leaving gaping wounds in every corner they can reach.
I have walked through memories so perfect;
Blue skies, warming sun, and flowers rising at my feet.

I have been burned by her fears so great;
Screams thrashing about in my throbbing head.
I have loved her smile so bright warming my hopeful heart;
Laughter so light and kind like none I've ever heard before.

I have seen the darkest corners of her raging mind;
Silent battles wreaking havoc on her weary soul.
I have held her brightest thoughts gently in my hands;
Precious gems so raw and pure waiting to be shined.

I have been forced to watch her die a thousands times;
Her eyes a cage she cant escape; I have yet to find the key.

-ARI
584 · Dec 2015
Buried Alive
ARI Dec 2015
I fought with every
Breath raging through
My bruised chest.

Fingernails hanging
By thread like
Pieces of skin.

Blood and dirt
Creating a solid
Form of desperation.

The weight of the
World sleeping on
My weeping form.

My casket made
Of warm flesh
And a smiling face.

Hundreds passed
But never heard
The girl screaming inside.

-ARI
581 · Aug 2017
No More
ARI Aug 2017
I was your marionette
I did all that you said.

I was your caged bird
My wild song never heard.

I was your violin
Your mistreated instrument.

I was your fairytale
Real life me; bland and stale.

-ARI
574 · May 2016
More Than A Nightmare
ARI May 2016
I am
Utterly
Petrified
To open the graves
Of my past hidden in
The deepest part of my being.

For I
Am
Petrified
Once they are out
I won’t be able to rebury
Them before they consume me.

I am
Utterly
Petrified
To release the words
Of which have become rusted
Barbed wire imbedded in my throat.

For I
Am
Petrified
During their release
I will find those words have
Sewn themselves into my tattered soul.


I am
Utterly
Sure
I will not survive
The verbal barbed wire
Demolishing me on its way to freedom.

-ARI
571 · Dec 2013
Our Endless Adventure
ARI Dec 2013
I traveled the world today,
With little Ms.Maryk.
We snuck through all the shadows,
And found a magical way.

We climbed to the tallest tower,
And stayed ‘til the latest hour.
We marched ‘cross the murky river,
Then went home to take a shower.

We went to every city known,
To see all of their treasures shown.
We finally met Petter Pan,
He said to never be all grown.

We swam through the wild sea,
And ran from a giant bee!
Oh the fun we had today,
Just ‘lil Marykate and me.

-ARI
570 · Nov 2015
N.J.D
ARI Nov 2015
Seven years ago today
I was rolling my eyes
As you teased your sister and me.

Seven years ago today
My best friend and I
Stormed out in anger because of you.

Seven years ago today
We were counting down
The weeks until you moved away.

Seven years ago today
I heard you laughing
Triumphantly over winning the remote.

Seven years ago tomorrow
I cried with my friend
Begging for you to open your bruised eyes.

In two weeks it will be seven years,
Since I watched them bury you.
I'm still waiting for you to come home.

-ARI
"We are not blood, but we will always be family."- NJD (1990-2008)
569 · May 2017
Eternity's Sunshine
ARI May 2017
She loved people
She hadn't meant to love.
They'd take her heart
But it was never enough
They'd hold her up  
Throw her down
Leave her trembling on the ground.

They often made her listen to their laughter
always seeming to be after
The leftover pieces of her weary soul
But when that girl was alone
Her eyes would close and her lips would cry

"One day Ill climb so high
I will own the sky
I will never cry again.
One day the sun will rise
And I'll be right by its side
Together we'll forever shine."


She hoped for things
She never should have dreamed.
Like a loving man
Who always brought her peace.
For with that fantasy inside her head
She looked for love
In an unkind man.
He'd hold her close
Kiss her lips
Say she's beautiful
And she'd always be his.
But then he'd let her fall
Say its all her fault
Get angry and hold her
Much too hard.

She'd stay curled up inside her head
Arms protecting herself
From the words that had been said
And she'd cover up the sting of his song
By singing her own little verse

"One day I'll climb so high
I will touch the sky
I will never fall again.
And when the sun does rise
Ill be right by its side
Forever part of its light.
When he looks up to the skies
Ill be burnt into his eyes.
He will never yell again.
I will never cry again."

-ARI
567 · Mar 2016
Empty
ARI Mar 2016
Arms and womb
Are empty
No child
By my side.
But in my
Broken heart
My perfect child
Resides.

-ARI
565 · Mar 2015
She Plays For Keeps
ARI Mar 2015
Breathe me in my dear
Her claws creeping down my throat
Ana's here to stay

-ARI
562 · Apr 2015
Ink and Paper; A Poets Soul
ARI Apr 2015
A
Poet
Shows their soul
On inked paper
A love not often heard but always felt
Emotions bled from their heart to fingers
Sewing broken letters together; their
Words dance across
Worn paper
'Ever
True

-ARI
561 · May 2017
Uneven Ending
ARI May 2017
Those three little words
Like surgical wire
Sewing my heart to your shirt
As they waltzed from my lips.

When our backs turned
I was left the shredded remains
Of my once vibrant soul.
You were left a tattered shirt.

-ARI
553 · May 2017
A Body's Self-Torture
ARI May 2017
Dear heart
Dear mind
Tell me please
What you're trying to find.

Your insecurities
Your tears
Have shredded me
I'm lost within my fears.

Please stop
Please wait
I'm begging you
Relieve me of your self-hate.

-ARI
551 · Jul 2016
Sometimes
ARI Jul 2016
I feel
Bone crushing
Anxiety
And I
Don't know
Why

-ARI
ARI Jun 2017
The heart in question
Is strong and mighty
Loud and needy.
It will demand a life
Of ever changing scenery
While crying for serenity
Inside another's soul.

This travelers heart
Will carry you to places
You never knew you craved.
She will sing you songs
You've never heard before
And every string inside your
Being will rejoice in the music made.

She will create melodies
From the flowers blooming
As the sun dances just for them.
Melodies of which will
Somehow transform the world
Into the most soul changing
Symphony any creature has ever heard.

She will never feel satisfied
With three, eight, or nineteen
Countries imprinted into her blood.
She will turn you into an
Addict always looking for
Your next fix full of exploration;
Foreign languages playing in your ear.

She will make you feel
So full of love as long as you
Provide her with tastes of foreign life.
She will make you feel lost
Inside a never ending cavern
Filled with faded heart lights
If you ever wish to stay still.

For trade: A travelers heart
Wanted: A heart made for home.

-ARI
539 · Aug 2022
How Ironic
ARI Aug 2022
It’s such an odd irony
For me to be legally responsible
For lives of strangers
When I can barely keep my own heart beating

The irony that I fill hospitals
With heart broken patients
Whose self-hate has come to life
Leaving trails of loathing etched into their skin

When I fight daily
To keep those thoughts at bay
And my smile so perfectly practiced
Few could even fathom I would ever want to…. Stop

-ARI
I’m ok; simply letting off steam
536 · Dec 2013
Her Wish
ARI Dec 2013
Her wish for life,
A simply beautiful world.
She asked for love,
Never perfection.

To exprience the world,
Slow to settle.

Her time to change,
To live as if life,
were ageless.

-ARI
536 · Dec 2013
Haunting Reflection
ARI Dec 2013
Looking out into forever,
to the vast lands and open skies.
Her mind continues to stray,
to her reflection always watching her.
She cant seem to go far enough away
From the saddend lips and darkend eyes.
She tries,
she always tries to forget,
To erase the past that haunts her.

-ARI
533 · May 2017
Spirit of Adventure
ARI May 2017
I swear she calls to me
For I can hear
Her every word caressing my soul.

I swear she needs me
Just as much
As I crave to sew her into my heart.

I swear I love her
With every ounce
Of my 'ever wandering soul.

I swear I cannot live
Much longer
Without my sweet Adventure.

-ARI
532 · Nov 2015
Rosaries
ARI Nov 2015
Men **** men
Then kiss the
Rosaries around
Their necks.

ARI
529 · Aug 2015
Appetite
ARI Aug 2015
I'm sorry
My appetite
Is quite often not present.

I'm sorry
I can't
Eat four meals each day.

I'm sorry
You feel
As if you are responsible.

I'm sorry
You're stuck
With a girl like me.

-ARI
528 · Oct 2015
R.f.D
ARI Oct 2015
I was but
A girl, momma
Only seven candles
On my cake.
Though my eyes
Are 'ever closed
My rainbow soul
Shall never break.

-ARI
Childhood cancer is not rare.
526 · Mar 2018
Where is My Seeker?
ARI Mar 2018
No one seems to realize
Who I really am and all
The hurt inside me
Has been thoroughly hidden
Deeply within every poem
My exhausted hands have penned.
I’ve yet to be found.

-ARI
525 · May 2016
I Am Not A Poet
ARI May 2016
I find it funny
To be called a poet
When often times
I cannot sew together
A simple sentence
To explain to you
The anxiety drilling
Holes deep within
My bones of which
Often feel non-existent.

I find it funny
To be called a wife
When often times
I cannot collect
The energy to make
A simple dinner
Meant for two
Or wash and fold
The laundry now
Two weeks past due.

I find it funny
To be called a friend
When often times
I cannot pick up
My phone for
Even a simple
Message to let you
Know I love you
Even if it may seem
Like I avoid you.

I find it funny
To be called funny
When often times
I am the **** of my
Own jokes and they
Have no clue that
To me, I am stating
Simple facts with
A hint of laughter
To keep from crying.

-ARI
525 · Dec 2013
Judgment
ARI Dec 2013
Head spinning from the words of disapproval
Pouring from her elders lips
Ears ringing with harsh cackling
Ripping apart her delicate thinking

Having no clue as to who she is
She digs her nails into her tender scalp
Praying she could scrape away
The poisoned memories in her mind

Feeling lost among such ***** rubble
Wishing to dig her way home
To a place filled with wondrous things
She will never have to fear

Though she knows that is impossible
A girl like her will never be free
She is trapped in a system of judgment
Just like everyone else her age

-ARI
521 · Dec 2013
Another Perspective
ARI Dec 2013
Usually it seems to be,
It would be the older writing to the younger me.
Id be old, bitter, and lonely too,
Then id sit down to write a letter to the younger you.
But in this hour of which Im in,
Iv’e decided to justify my greatest "sin".
To explain what is done will always be done,
And to tell of the things I have lost or have won.

To start off first let me ask you this,
Remember the girl who shared your first kiss?
And how you loved that her vibrant smile,
Seemed too stretch on for a million miles.
One night It seems I had made a "mistake",
The moment I heard my body did shake.
I was blamed for the changes to her beautiful figure,
And cursed on the night she pulled the blackened trigger.

Though now as I sit with my son right beside me
His sweet little presence sets my soul free.
So small, fragile and innocent he is,
I know I need to make the world his.
I spend every hour searching high and low,
To insure my son will always grow.
Not just in a strong physical way,
But into a man he will be proud of from day to day.

Ive thought long and hard about what I gave,
To the mother of my child I couldn't save.
She blamed me for making her body grow,
All the love I had for her never seeming to show.
She blamed me for always letting her be wild,
and for not letting her **** our unborn child.
She claimed her want to destroy him was true,
though it became something she couldn't do.
On the day she went to hand over our newborn son,
She couldn't do it and decided she was done.

I received a saddened call one night,
From a woman telling me my son was alright.
His young mother had written a letter that day,
To explain why she had taken her own life away.
My son was given to me in the morning,
along with a terrifying custody warning.
Though my sins have brought me great pain,
From them my saving grace I did gain.
So never wish to erase the past,
Because for me I want it to last.
I love my son more than anything,
And I would never risk changing a thing.

-ARI
520 · Sep 2014
The Poet
ARI Sep 2014
She is the writer of words
that will make your heart sing

Sometimes in sadness
sometimes in peace

Her words will wrap around your soul
and carry you high on wilted wings

She'll take you far to worlds unknown
and show you life in ways you've never seen

-ARI
520 · Dec 2013
Writers Block
ARI Dec 2013
Staring at a blank piece of paper
Sitting in a state of emptiness
My fingers itching with the need to write
To express the intense emotions
Of which are overwhelming me

I fear my heart and soul are soon to combust
Simply because I cannot put these emotions on paper
My body feeling numb from the bombarding memories
Mind feeling almost too tense to stay conscious  
Breathe I must remind myself

Without thought my hand grasped the worn down pencil
Hovering lightly above the waiting sheet for a long moment
Suddenly the cracked tip of lead seemingly begins to whisper
As it moves almost unnoticeably and gracefully slow
Words seeming almost too fragile began to appear

Such relief poured from my tightened limbs
All anxiety gone so quickly it was as if it never existed
Writing such simple words is my safe haven
The vaccine that cured my brokenness
Slowly my smile slips back to where it belongs

Now I cry from relief


-ARI
519 · Dec 2013
Lovely Disaster
ARI Dec 2013
Her eyes were darkend pools
of twisted torment.
Her lips were broken lines
of lovely lies.
Her chest was tight and cold
from her heavy hardened heart.
And her legs were
Slender sticks of secret scars.

-ARI
509 · Dec 2015
Romantic Poet
ARI Dec 2015
She used
Black ink
Beige paper

To romanticize
Her loneliness
Her heartbreak

Labeled it
Sweet release
Sweet poetry

The world
Loved her
Loved darkness

-ARI
504 · Mar 2016
Yesterday Sands
ARI Mar 2016
If yesterday
Was but sand upon
A long abandoned shore
I'd wash away jagged
Memories of which it
Created.

-ARI
500 · Sep 2015
Time Does Not Exist
ARI Sep 2015
The morning came
But I knew not
For still I laid
Smiling in your arms.

Hours trailed by
But we knew not
For time was just
A thing we spoke not of.

Soon midnight came
But I knew not
For still you cradled me
As we danced nakedly in love.

-ARI
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