I have been battling insecurity
Just to make sure you stay with me
It all just sounds like insanity
But it's all just to keep it "we"

I remember the day we all became one
The day I got accepted into your clan
Each day was filled with glee
It was the happiest I can be

Seeing us in the picture
Lost pieces of the puzzle
now scattered around the floor
No one dares to move
I don't know anymore

How long will we stay like a mishap?
How long will we misunderstand?
How long will we stay numb?
How long?

I don't wanna know how long...
but please don't make it so long...

To the moon and stars above
Would you gladly listen to my plea?
I badly want to flee
To the mountain top I shall go
And scream to my heart's content
Cause I no longer know
Up to when I shall endure
This unspeakable feeling
It's been following me everywhere
I dont know how to put it into phrases
What more into sentences
Not even a word could express it
Too much thought is taking up my tired and restless brain
There's just so much pain and confusion
I can't even come up with a single conclusion
Everything ended up like a convulsion
But I know there was a root to the problem
Now we need it to be uprooted
Because the bigger it grows
It might soon become a tree and bear
Unbearable fruits      
These fruits look delish but you'll never know that it'll make you perish...

Tell me when... When will this end?
Cause it's gnawing at my chest cavity and it's making the floorboard shriek
It scares me to the bone
And it has made my soul unconscious...

I don't want to leave you, she said
If I could, I'd stay forever but I can't

I wonder what's your reason
to commit such an act of treason
During the night
When the stars shine so bright
I love seeing your sleeping face
You're like a delicate antique vase
Why must your time with me have a limit?
Cause when the morning comes, he wakes you up in just a minute.
I try to make you stay
But you'll just say
If I don't go, there's going to be a huge price to pay.*

But who am I to question
even though I feel so much depression

For I'm just a futon
for you to lie on

Don't try to ask me why
   just think of it as my final goodbye

It means you are no longer needed
    you did your part
    and I think you did great

Not all those at the top are the best

Not all those at the bottom are the worst

**Some things are just the other way around

I can't explain
How it turned into an excruciating pain
I was just standing on a plain
Now I feel like rolling down from a mountain
Please take me on a train
And set free my tired brain

There's this thick border that separates you from them
but I can never explain what it is
all I can say is that I feel it inside of my heart that
you stand out from the rest
and for me you are the best!

When it comes to you
It has always been a battle
Between my heart and my brain
What an endless pain
It has been crushing me to bits
yet with just your laughter
the butterflies start to flutter
and my lips start to stutter

Now you return
telling me you went the wrong turn
You say you want to set things right
but I don't suppose that'll make me smile bright
Cause you are the source of my heartache
and my endless misery

I now have an answer to this encrypted mystery
You ain't sure yet
and I bet
My heart's gonna take all the risk
so i'm not gonna make another wish
Just one last kiss

Don't let your eyes deceive you,
you are seeing through a filter
not in every perception
and the truth wont show itself
unless it is being sought
not just with unreliable thoughts.

From the moment I met you
I knew you were decent
Though not really that innocent
But you were a nice guy
Though you are shy
You still have this charm

Your voice that ain't so manly
Yet for me it was heavenly
Just to hear your voice was enough for me

You may not be the brightest
But among the stars, you are
Your witty answers and logical explanations
These serve as my best inspirations

Your strategic ways
and inspiring plays
They always make my days

I'd wish upon a star
That my love for you
Wont bear a single scar

So honey my dear
I sure do hope everything is clear
Just don't make me bear a single tear
For I might grow in fear
Of your face
That served as my favorite maze
Whenever my emotions are in a haze

Out of the night that covers thee
From your misery, I'll set you free
A mere stella from the void
Even though i'm almost dead
May my luminosity light your way ahead

How do I unravel thee? I shall figure you out
Whenever I see you, I just pout
You’re the numbers I can’t decipher
Your music’s similar to a pied piper

Thy voice lures me in unconsciously
A sweet sound of serendipity
That’s composed in an ancient writing
Written on a papyrus that’s so inviting

A puzzle with an abstract image
Even more complicated than a broken page
I focus on solving your deep logic
Wishing that I have such magic

They say you’re unfathomable
Because I am the only one who’ll be able

You're seen as somebody who is unexpectedly soft
fragile
delicate
vulnerable
In fact, your persona was described as tough
firm
strong
mysterious
I wasn't that certain yet when I saw that pure innocence upon your eyes
little did I know that you really were deception
yet I still saw your true reflection
Now I can never look at you the same way
I look at you now with so much care
I painstakingly want to be your very own bubble wrap

An encrypted note on a papyrus
An ancient mystery that refuses to be solved
But I saw through your wall
Now I could sense the tears wanting to come out like a water fall

*I finally deciphered your intriguing paradox

Just hearing your voice is fine
I feel like i'm on cloud nine

This is for sure
My feelings are pure

Pure happiness
If ever it was sadness

The cause is your frown
I don't want to see you down

I love to hear your laughter
Rather than to see you falter

You thought it was enough
but I saw through all the hullabaloo and fluff
You can't fool me the same way you did to them
I saw every loose hem
I've been observing brightly colored canvas
and I've smelled different kinds of grass
You could say that I already knew you before you do
I could feel the same as you

Maybe this is the special connection between two people hidden in the word "promise"
but I doubt you'd feel mine once it comes because you've never observed me the same way I have...

It was a tough journey
For I was a newbie

Yet you were there
Ready to support

Thanks for the tips
The game was crushing me like chips

Shall look forward into playing
LoL is a pretty ******* gaming

Love doesn't have to be for a certain person
It can be for a group of people with an unknown reason

You make my suffering feel worth it
when I get to see you at the end of the day
I try to keep my problems, confusions and delusions at bay
I try to be okay
But I guess I really need to find a way
to keep all my monsters away

I'll just keep thinking that you will
always appear before me after the rain and after a tiring day
*I'll stare in awe as your serenity sinks into me and engulfs all of the world's cruelty

In this world
all the people who are down
are gathered from different towns.*
They help one another
to pick up their broken pieces together.

There is always this uneasiness
This anxiety
This worry

When i'm with YOU

But with THEM
I feel happy
Chill
safe
Though I don't know how
Maybe,
*It's goodbye for now

the world we have come to know
has always been such a tough foe
but please try to bear the pain
it is okay to try again
your life's too precious
let's be cautious
hold on to your dearest
because they're the nearest
source of glee and comfort
have a cup of tea by your porch
and talk about life
think of all those people
worried and caring
even though you may not know it
someone out there loves you to the tiniest bit
so dear,
erase all your suicidal thoughts
through courage and hope
despair shall be fought

My days are filled with nightmares
My nights are filled with day dreams...
*How ironic isn't it?

Our days are limited
Our lives can't be edited
Live it wisely
Live precisely
Never amount to much
Never become a nasty bunch
Remember these tips
And spread them using those lips
Teach them with your voice
Always with poise


Sure do wish you wont remorse
Cause life has such a puzzling course

I supported you
Cause no body supported me
I believed in you
Cause no one believed in me
I cared for you
Cause none took care of me
I have loved you
Cause not a single soul gave any to me

I guess
I see myself in you
And I just want to fill those empty spaces

Because I don't want you
To feel the pain I do

It was love at first sight
if it's possible,
Love at first bite

We live in two different worlds
never meant to clash together
a vamp who wanted my blood
a human who only ate "food"

But maybe we ain't different
maybe we are alike

For we both eat flesh
Tear down souls
and enjoy a refreshing red liquid

Maybe it was just us
thinking that you were the bad guys

Maybe we are just all the same

Maybe we were meant to be
*just not in this dimension

I stare at the ceiling
A heavy sigh escapes
Exhausted
Languish
Tired
Maybe i'll take a rest
And remove my capes
I already did my best
I'll let some of my thoughts escape
and let them cool for a while
They're all already in a pile

Once I come back
I hope I can fill what you lack
but maybe it's all just about acceptance
and not about changing appearance

I also need to clear my mind
my eyes have always been blind
when it comes to my own mistakes
because I don't have what it takes
to be somebody they want me to be
So till then, we'll see

Goodbye for now
Good luck, somehow

I no longer want to be caged
like a bird trapped in one page
Let me soar high
and notice my dashing colors by
Down the river I shall greet you
among the waters below the sky of blue
I'll sing a lullaby that'll make you feel safe
and be your hero without a cape
So listen to my plea
this is my one and only glee
*WHICH IS TO BE FREE

I was a lost puzzle piece
waiting to be retrieved underneath a table

I've been trying to fit in with the
beautiful pictures
But nothing ever works out
Never have I imagined that I wasn't meant to be there
No wonder my smiles were just masks
No wonder I felt different
No wonder I feel so lonely
for I was part of something better
BIGGER

I was part of a masterpiece
And it was called FRIENDSHIP

A friendship I've never felt ever before
I felt like I belonged
as if I was the missing piece that they've
been waiting for

Smile, my dear
There's nothing to fear
Come on now
Go up there and take a bow
Everybody's screaming
Shouting
It must be a dream
I feel like I wanna scream
It all feels absurd
But I feel as free as a bird
It all started last Friday the 3rd

Swung my sharp metallic blade
Watched the color in their eyes fade
Saw their blood dance
As my feet started to prance
With every slash upon their throats
It makes me want to sing a note

Now, there there
It's not too much to bear
Soon you'll doze off in an eternal bliss
You'll arise no more
Not even with a kiss

Cause darlin, this ain't a fantasy
It's the harsh and brutal reality
Watch me fly
As you lie there sniffling a cry

So I suggest
for you to rest
That's for the best
Ogle at my perfect crime
Sorry it's already your time
After this, honey, I'm gonna sip some lime

I wanted to be unique so bad
but I can't do that in this world full of uncertainty

All I could do is
adapt
adjust
and evolve

I must be the best mixture above the notch

The only place I can be myself is through that dark alleyway
that leads to the brightest place I've ever been into
and for the first time,
I'd want to be selfish and keep this place all to myself
and cherish it till I read it again from my shelf

I'm just one of the stars in the sky
I bet that when I die
You wont even bat an eye

To me,
You are the great big galaxy
The way you are is just so pretty
I look at you then i'd feel so happy

I'm just a planet
Revolving around your orbit
Whom you wont miss even for a bit

But to me,
You are the sun
as yellow as a bee

You were once a sunshine
I was always there whenever you whine

It hurts me to see you cry
That's why

Those broken shards of yours
Was always picked up by me

It may scratch and bruise my palms
But it was worth it
For it was you

Now I seem to have forgotten
As if the memory has rotten

It turned into dust
I cant ever remember

Is this what they call Oblivion?
If it is, why must it feel like Deception?
As if my own thoughts deceived me?
Is that even possible?

My endless questioning
Maybe
Just maybe
I am in Oblivion....

Everything has an end but
it is up to you if you'd want that
kind of denouement
or if you'd like multiple of series.

In my sleep, your name I mutter
I wonder still, how you made it flutter
I refuse to acknowledge it
For I know it'll whisper to me my defeat
My heart doesn't believe
What my eyes perceive
I know your hidden shenanigans
I know your every move
But I let my guard down every now and then
Wishing I never knew how you work
Wishing I never knew how you think
Wishing I could just enjoy the feeling you're making me feel
But I knew, you'll be the source of my heart break
It was my second losing streak
As you left me with a teriffying stare
It was so far my worst nightmare

You're pretty weird ain't cha'
we were close and I could barely end the day without talking to you
But you seemed like I was nothing to ya
now you're talking like it was nothing, what's it with you?

They usually told me to grow up,
to stop running in the streets,
stop giving out childish antics,
quit watching cartoons
and start acting responsible,
start being like a lady,
to open my eyes and take interest
in what adults or teens like to read.

Maybe I still don't want to let go of my childish self
cause it has been a long time since I've enjoyed myself.
I like fantasies that have a different twist, children who are out of the ordinary, stories that come from another land.
They never cease to excite me and make me think that this thing called reality is just a part of a dream, that my real world exists somewhere in another realm or in another portal where in even though you are already having a nightmare it still seems like a dream.
They might've long grown up but I don't think I will any time soon.

This kid inside me is wild and still wants me to imagine wide as if there ain't no boundaries.

*I believe that the only way out of reality is through a fantasy.

I feel sorry* for those people worried more about their grades than their lives

I feel sorry for those people who worry more about the answers rather than the beauty of those unanswered questions of life

I feel sorry for those people who gives more self worth than appreciating the beauty of caring for welfare of others

I feel sorry for those people who cant enjoy life cause they are too worried about the future and are stressing about their past rather than living today

I feel sorry* for those who cant control themselves and give in to anger, pain, guilt and sadness than feel free by forgiving, being happy and be kind

Yes, I feel sorry for myself sometimes

It felt like it was just yesterday
Remember what we used to play?
It was called "Hide and seek"
You always hid as I seek
As we ran all over the place
Sweat covered our entire face
Kids filled with glee
A feeling like you're about to flee

But... But why? *
As time went by
My role stayed the same
But yours didn't and it drove me insane
It seemed harder than before
I couldn't find you in any floor
Although when I do
To all my sadness I say "shoo"
We converse just like before
And end up in a laughing galore

But still... why?
Tell me the reason why now I cry
Again, I remained the same
Oh, what a shame
I'm ok with it as long as it's you
I'm certain, as always, that I'll find you
No matter where you go
No matter how far you go
No matter how skilled you are
No matter how wise you are
I'm sure
Oh, I'm really sure
I'm going to find you
Yes... I am going to find you...
Y-yes...

But where are you now?
I have no idea how
How am I going to find you?
You left with not a single clue
It was indeed gradual
Yet I can't tell if it was intentional
I can't understand your reason
Was this an act of treason?
I wish to find you soon
Are you hiding behind the moon?
Where are you, dear?
Speak up, your voice isn't clear
Or perhaps it is mine
**Because since that day, I've never been fine

You acted like a mother
As if I was never a bother

I have always been thankful
For your support is always full

Your wise words
Can never be a bunch of turds

I always remember your advice
To think it twice

You weren't just a friend
You were what they call as "The light"
Who shines with no end

Sometimes I think to myself
I now have a lot of debt

I don't know what happened
But we kind of drifted apart
Yet you'll always be in my heart

I guess all I ever want you to know
Is how you are important and so

I made this specially for you
Read it whenever you feel blue
So you'd have a clue
That I love you too
This may serve as my greatest THANK YOU

I thought
You were
inspiring
         talented
                   kind
           helpful
dedicated

But no body informed me that this was all a **SHOW