Spring came into her beautiful life
She started to grow strong, such a wonderful sight
Before she knew it the summer Sun's rays
Coaxed her to blossom and bloom, the sun had that magical way

The summer of her life was grand
She stretched herself as tall as she could stand
Her beauty was quite beyond compare
She glimmered so bright it was almost a glare

Before she knew it, it was the autumn of life
All her memories were rife
Still she had abundant beauty, though her petals were starting to droop
Being pulled down to gravity's stoop
Still she enjoyed the the cooler days
And leaned towards the sun's rays

Winter fiercely came one night
Even though she put up a hell of a fight
The snow was to heavy
She could no longer be counted among the bevy

She sadly just wilted away
And fell into her bed of decay
Her ravishing petals now lay on the ground and decompose
My gorgeous scarlet rose

Man on a ledge
Looking over the edge
At the sea of people crowded around
Just to watch if he's stepping over to come down
Most shouting for him to jump
For they only think of him as another suicidal chump
They think that could never be them
They would never have thoughts that grim

But he is just an average man
Yet here on the ledge he stands
It could be you,it could be me
Those ignorant people can not see
It only takes one simple thing
To break that final string
When out of life, all happiness has been expunged
To make you want to take that plunge
To give up and lung

The man on the ledge said a prayer for those below
That they're never in this darkened hole
That they never fell this low
With the echoing of "JUMP" ringing in his ears, the volume only grows
He steps over into the unknown, that day all the people got their show

If only, you was here with me
If only, every humane was truly free
If only, I could have a baby
If only, I hadn't been slowly driven crazy
If only, our love was still strong
If only, the surgery hadn't went wrong
If only, you didn't live so far away
If only, I had the right words to say
If only, we were not at war
If only, I wasn't a ****** looking for a score
If only, that car hadn't crossed lanes
If only, I was still the same
If only, cancer had a cure
If only, I was an entrepreneur
If only, my car hadn't broke down
If only, he had scored that touchdown
If only, you would come back
If only, my world wasn't painted black
If only, I could go back in time
If only, life was sublime
If only, you hadn't got sick
If only, I was a magician with wonderful tricks
If only, I was rich
If only, with your life I could switch
If only, you truly where in love
If only, I could fly like a dove
If only, you hadn't died
If only, I hadn't lied
If only, I could be famous
If only, we could sit and reminisce
If only, my heart would have never heen broken
If only, the truth was spoken
If only, I had told you how I felt
If only, a better hand I was dealt
If only, we never had to grow old
If only, the future I controlled
If only Eve hadn't eaten that apple and comited the first sin
If only.......... is a simple longing, heart felt wish, for what could've, would've, should've, might've been

Baby I love you heart and soul
These feelings I can not control
Baby I love you foever and always
There is so much that I long to say

Baby your love is a shining brilliant light
That brightens up my darkest night
Baby your love is of the truest kind
In my most troubled times, you bring me peace of mind

Baby I will love you through whatever comes our way
I will hold you in my heart and arms every single night and day
Baby I will love you till time It's self no longer exist
And every time will be like the first we kissed

We have found in each other our soul mate
I finally believe in fate

I know a man who is as brave as a knight
He is battling more than a lot of us could fight
In my eyes he is a true Hero
But most of the time he thinks of himself a zero
But he couldn't be further from the truth
For his compassion is one of his strongest roots

For even though chronic pain and his demons he faces
You and your problems he embraces
He can make you feel like world would be less without you
All of your pain, the love in his heart can cut through

He is never more than a message away
And you can call on him night or day
He is one of the few that will do all he can
To pick you up, stay, and hold your hand
Until on your own again you can stand
He really is one hell of a man

Even on his weakest day
When he, himself is starting to fray
And he's so full of regret
He STILL is the strongest man I've ever meet

I really wish he could see himself through my eyes
For he is one that is truly wise
And I know he would argue he is not, to the end
But strong and wise best describes, my truest dear friend

You keep on slipping and sliding
All my questions you are Dodging
So I know there is something you are hiding
So you I am chiding
Now our future we must be deciding
It sure feels as if your love for me is subsiding
And the gap between us is widening
As that knife of silence in my heart you are driving
For our future I am so desperately fighting
But every day I feel it all dying
Please baby why is it me now that you are despising
As you leave me shattered on the floor crying
And our love's death certificate you are signing

Little fingers, little toes
It's such a joy to watch you grow
Big bright eyes that greet the day
A crinkled nose with a smile that shines my way
Messy faces at supper time
Couches like mountains that you just have to climb
The wonders of this world seen through your eyes
Such a truly beautiful prize
Child of my child
You have me so beguiled

A most gracefully bird, but not of the air
White caped waves are his clouds
Water proof feathers is what he wears
He stands on the beach mighty proud
His wings won't let him fly
But through the ocean he quickly glides
You'll never see him in the sky
Behind the corral is where he hids
When lion seals are on the prowl
His play ground is a winter wonderland
He is by far the best dressed fowl
With his dashing tuxedo he looks mighty grand
By design he was denied freedom of fight
But that my friend doesn't make him sad
For in the ocean so deep he reaches new heights
The icy slides are his launch pad
He certainly is a wonderful bird
To call him anything else would be absurd

Falling too fast, it's what I feared
I'm going to burn up in the atmosphere
I climbed to high, I wanted to touch a star
I know now, the thought was quite bizarre
In the never ending darkness
It's what I wanted to harness
It was the only light
In my world of perfect night
It was the only blight

I use to belive everything had a begaining and an end
infinity I did not belive in
But you my love, have changed my mind
Because our love will last beyond that time

My dad was the greatest of men
I wish I would of gotten more time with him
Time has sure done it's shading
I hate to say his face is fading
His voice has long ago slipped from my memory
The sadness of that is sheer agony

I miss you as much today
As that sorrowful day you where taken away
You left this world way to soon
I still remeber that hospital waiting room

I was to late, death had already greeted you
I was only fourteen I didn't know what to do
I stood there crying in my sisters arms
I knew I would forever miss your fatherly charms

As I stood beside your open coffin
Tears spilling onto my dress, I felt like an orphan
Knowing I would never again see you smiling face
Your death was so hard to embrace

It was a gray rainy day you where placed in the ground
Setting under the cemetery tent no comfort to be found
Thinking even the angels on high
Could do no more than cry

You had been my hero, I was a daddy's girl
And my life from this point would do nothing but unfurl
I was, and still am so lost without your presence
I missed you at so many of my lifes great events

At all of my children's births
I thought of you first
And how you would of beamed with pride
At the thought I just cried

But as my memory, with time harshly shades
My love for you will never fade
I carry you forever in my heart
Like I was in yours from the start

I have my demons they dragged me through hell
I said good bye to the memories but they still dwell
They are ingrained in my soul
I so just want them to go
But they never will this I know
My demons use them to condemn
They love to show me all of them
My memories are where all my depression stems
And with pain, regret, and agony I'm filled to the brim
And I can no longer swim
In this torment I can't stay within
I'll get me a gun and blow them away
Then my demons will have nothing left to say

You set there looking so fine
And you have a beautiful mind
I pinch myself, it's hard to belive you're all mine

My love for you grows more everyday
With all the beautiful things you say
Those hundred or so miles won't get in our way

As we lay our heads down in different beds
I replay ever word that you have said
Your gorgeous blue eyes I can't get out of my head

I can't wait till tomorrow to talk to you again
And see that wonderful grin
This broken heart you surely did mend

There is nothing about you I don't love
I know you was sent from up above
Because we fit together like a hand in a glove

As the sullen figure of a woman sets alone in her room
You can feel in the atmosphere all the gloom
As memories rap on the doors in her mind
They well remain there for all time
For her they will never depart
For even if time erases them from the mind,they are written with scars in her heart
She sits there shoulders hunched over
A river of tears sliding down her checks, no longer able to hold her composure
She had slipped into her room, her sanctuary
The burden of being the strong one, for the moment she could no longer carry

She was crawling inside her little world, hoping to hide
Her world and her emotions would turn on a dime
She tried again time after time
Hoping to find away across the widening divide
Over the knife sharp rocks of her life, she couldn't climb
It was her scars that cry, she was nothing more than a mime
Being thrown again into the abyss, it was all war crimes
Now she just laid there given up, nothing rhymes

Here I stand a on the edge again
Wishing I didn't have to swim
The sharks are showing their fins

Wish I could just end it all
I'm already fully in the fall
No one hears my screams, my call

I just want it to be over
Lay me down in the sweet clover
Do it now before I'm sober

I can't take the pursue
All that's left inside is ruptured
Leave me for the rapture

This night just seems not to end
It stretches on much to my chagrin
I lay in this bed trapped in this skin

Why must life be this way
Why must lonely nights lead into sorrowful day
Why must in my head all these thoughts play

As I lay here and wait for the light
Trying to decide if I should give up the fight
But I don't live for myself so I haven't the right

So I just toss and I turn
Stressed and stomach churns
And my scars just burn

Maybe with a new day
I'll look at things a different way
Maybe I'll have better things to say

For now even my bones feel heavy
I'm hoping my tears don't break down the levee
Praying tomorrow I can hold everything steady

The light cut the dark like a steel bladed razor
Straight through the vain, straight to the heart of it
The truth has such a savory flavor
Once what was hidden in the depth of the pit
Is dragged into the light
Although it can be painful and tough like denim
Like a snake bite
It might still hurt,but it will lose it's venom
So let us air out our closets
Finally give them skeletons a proper burial
You know where to make your deposit
Let us all acknowledge our pain, and give it the proper memorial
For the truth is crimson red
And it bleeds us out in the dark of night
No need to carry it to our deathbed
Just put it in the light

Don't talk to me
I won't talk back
Don't look at me
I won't look back
For I'm not here in the now
The reaper I had to allow
And out of the flesh I had to bow

So if you catch a glimpse of me
It's only my fleeting memory
My image in the mirror
Is only me trying to get nearer
To say one last time I love you
I so hope that you knew
And now you can see right through
But my ghost will haunt no more
I hope you find love, someone you can adore
Because I've danced through deaths door
For I have heeded the voices calling
And now I'm forever falling
I've thrown myself into the fire
My birth certificate has expired

Let me in the car I want to go someplace
I'm getting so ******* tired of the human race
Someone's always up there in my face

Speaking things I don't want to hear
Always right there in my ear
Make them go away, I don't want them near

Their lies they want me to embrace
They're alway in my bubble, my space
My faith they are starting to debase

Their humanity is begaining to disappear
They gawk as life passes them by, just like a sightseer
They are all being controlled by the puppeteer


Can someone spare me a little grace
I need somewhere I can touch base
Because I'm feeling slowly erased

watching the skys anxiously
Maybe i am just an abnormality
Because I don't view the world angrily
Even tho what's been inflicted upon me is blasphemy
I see things so very clearly
The fabric of our world is a tapestry
It's woven togeather so perfectly
Only the strongest of us live our time in agony
Those in the abyss view the world so differently
For some of us this is no fantasy
But this doesn't need to be a catastrophe
If you just look at it rationally
In the rabbit hole we learn empathy
While others wander around aimlessly
And on that day we escape gravity
We will be granted amnesty

God's off his meds again
Guess he was tired of trying to fit in
Now he stands at the corner of 44th and vine
Screaming all the time

The end is coming soon
And it's gonna be a monsoon
Of catastrophe pain, and death
Because you mortals aint seen nothing yet

God is off his meds again
And he doesn't have any friends
It's apparent he's all alone
I think he's becoming an old crone

He's *****, and he's angry
It's apparent he's gonna let fly the fury
He is just a homeless ***
He screams at all that to he's corner come

The end is very near
Does no human on this plant fear
He keeps screaming night and day
But no one want to hear what he has to say

God is off he's meds today

When I get old and live with my kids
I'm gonna do all the things that they did
I'll get up way before dawn
I will be their human alarm
I scream I'm hungry in the wee morning hours
I will complain when it's time to take a bath or shower
I'll scribble my latest creation on the walls
And on the siding I'll bounce all my *****
I'll spill my milk, so the cat can drink
I won't scrap my plate, when I put it in the sink
I'll refuse to eat my veggies and meat
And if able, run wild in the street
I'll set real close to the tv, blocking their view
Clicking all the channels before I am through
I will change clothes a million times a day
And when I'm done, on the floor they will lay
And when they have taken about all they can stand
I will say "I love you" while I'm holding their hand
And at night when I am fast asleep
In my door they will creep
And softly say "doesn't she look so innocent and sweet"
As they gently cover up my feet

The heart has no bones, but I heard it shatter
The day you turn and walked away, I heard the clatter
I heard it plainly over the,"I still love you"that I muttered
Now I'm left with all this clutter
Where did your fiery love go
I'll never understand, I'll never know
I shut my eyes to my new reality
Because behind my eyes you with me is all I see
I don't want to live a life that your not in
So I shut my eyes for the very last time,I will never open them again

hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliop -hobqia

Words made him feel like the weeds of ambrosia
Sneezing and hacking, words could make his eye's tear like ammonia

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

It's time to prophesize with our pen
Our hero's are being carted off by white coated men
There is so many that need saving
The war outside is raging
It's rattling our Windows and shake our walls
Listen up poets you can hear the call

Pick up your mighty pen
Record all that is inhuman
The doomsday clock is ticking down very fast
All the greedy men are counting up their cash
The darkness is spreading yet again
As the world is stretching towards the end

So we all must shed some light
Let us all just take a bite
Of what is and isn't right
Let our fellow man see the true sight
Of what is being lost within the fight
Let them start to ask if it's worth the plight

What if dawn never comes
No more bright light from the sun
With no sun the moon won't shine
In the total darkness will you lose your mind

Will you be able to face your fears
When your monsters are closing in and getting near
Or will you keep running trying to out distance them
Feeling like you have been condemned

Or will your turn and face those demons
And find the greater meanings
Will inside yourself you find that gem
Will you find where your darkness stems

Will you be able to restart your spark
And leave in this world your wonderous mark
To show the world your true being
To let the world know you are no longer fleeing

To destroy your mask can be so freeing
To banish the dark with the light thats inside
Because that's what happens when you have nothing left to hide

On gossamer wings she took flight
But the winds of change tore those delicate wings apart
She fell to the hard earth, a terrible sight
The wolfs descended upon her and tore out her heart

As she laid bleeding out in the dirt
Wishing her wings would of been made of steel
Then she wouldn't have these feeling of hurt
To the Gods she made an appeal

Please replace my heart with one of stone
So it couldn't be shattered by a simple storm
And never again would feelings be known
The Gods took pity and she was tranformed

Never again to be a delicate child
But a stone cold creature
She was as beautiful as she was wild
Her rock hard heart, indeed her best feature

Her gossamer wings gone
She would never fly
Being with out them made her strong
She never again would fall from the sky

The winds of change could roar
But she could take it's toll
That couldn't break her anymore
With that heart of stone she could just roll

Drowning
On dry land
Chest heaving
Lungs burning
Fresh air
All around
Lungs won't accept
Panic ensues
Inhaler sought
Sweet air returns
Death evaded
Asthma *****

Cold sweats, clammy hands
******* the life out of me
Phasmophobia

I have several poems started
But none of them want to come to completion
They all keep dodging my pen

I was in a sombre mood
I went outside, my nerves to soothe
Guess I had been sitting to long, to still
For a little bird flew down, set at my heel
This litte bird was so sweet
He started to tweet
He sang me a song
It was kinda long
But I slowly move
To his little grove
That bird made my day
He made me smile before he flew away
Miracles happen all the time
Missing the small ones is a crime

Little bird little bird why do you sit there
in the middle of the road without even a care
did the other little birdies give you a dare
I'm afraid you haven't a prayer
You just set and you stare
So totally unaware
That you'll soon be a splat
Where your body once sat.

As I lay here on my bed and groan
I don't think I can make it all alone
I need a friend someone of value
Hell tonight I'd even take some ******
But instead I'll just toss and turn
And wish of days that I could return
When one small space in time
There was plenty of friends of mine
But I knew then as I do now
That good times fly faster than bad some how

The darkness is about to take you
And there is nothing I can say or do
Just remember my friend
Your pain when you die for you might end
But it doesn't disappear
Just where will it land and adhere
How far will the pain you release go
I guess you'll never know

But I will bear witness to your butterfly effect
I will watch the ripples and where they will project
Will your little catipiller hold up under the pain
Will he be able to bear the strain
Or will he fallow in your steps
Spreading more of that butterfly effect

I will bear witness with tears bitting my eyes
As I say my goodbyes
I know I'll get a chunk of your pain to add to my own
I will be counted among the victims that your act has sown

But I will just bite down and bear it, I'll have to
Because my catipillers I won't put thru
That evil butterfly effect
Please my friend before you do, please just sit down and reflect!!!!!

I am the terminator
The exterminator
I walk around with my spray
Aiming at things that get in my way
So you better stand back
Before I start my attack
Because I might see
You as a tiny flea
******* out my life force
You might be the source
Of that itch I can't scratch
You will have meet your match
I love to destroy what bugs me
It fills me with a sense of glee
I wonder if God feels the same
Maybe that's why none of us are sane

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

The light I did pursue
But the dark it did ensue
Though I ran with all my might
The darkness remained right by my side

It remained like a moonless night
No guiding light
To alumminate my flight
It wasn't right
The darkness I could not fight

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

The Sun glistening through the trees
I could almost feel the breeze
It brought me to my knees
To pray to a God that doesn't see

He's left me to all the fears
He's never near
He's made it clear
This God only listens with a deafened ear

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

I am the sheep lost in the dark
My soul it has no spark
Only sound, song of the lark
To my voice no one will hark

Please take my eyes I no longer want to see
The nothingness in front of me
I beg of you I  plea
Imprisoned in the dark, left groping for a key

In this darkness left to stand
Forced to see the brighter lands

I give up on this life
Depression claims another soul

I Was buried last night
As word after word you shoveled over me
Telling me with my sadness you could not deal
I put up no fight
I just slipped into the bathroom
Your words following "you going in there to cry"
As the tears slid silently down my face of steel
I sat till no more tears came
You attacked me at my weakest
I turned off my feelings, I could no longer feel
My face a blank slate
I was at my meekest
I plastered on a smile
But I guess it didn't carry enough weight
I guess I didn't have the expression of a child
So what am I to do
I don't know anymore how to be fake
So I just continue to smile
My steel face will be all you ever see till I'm through
Until someday soon you lay me in the dirt

That's the day I'll no longer hurt

Crying like a fool
For a friend hurt my feelings
Scratches on my heart

Wings where broken it couldn't fly
Nothing to do but stand by
Watching her spirit slowly die

On her knees, head in her hands
Crying, she's seen the promised lands

As she sits shackled in razor blade chains
The only thing free is the thoughts in her brain

She is only there to bear witness to the fortunate souls
That deserving or not, get to cross to the land of gold

Her fate was sealed before her birth
She's made to pay for the sins of others, it is her curse

She watch's soul after soul enter the land
She was forsaken in it to stand

So as the razors slice and bite
She set's her mind free, what a beautiful sight

From deep insides there shines this light
It becomes a beacon, it's so bright

With every slice of the razor
Thought to withstrain her
More light pours through
But the razor chains cuts ensue

Till all the light in her pours out
Through her lips a slight whimper escapes, ment to be a shout

Darkness reclaims where it always belonged
Another souls claimed, the ding after the ****

She was only born to watch the happiness of others
She was only born for agony to smother

She was only born to bear witness
To the beauty in darkness, mother nature's mistress

Tears are stinging behind my eyes
As I try to hold them within
No one will know why
Until it is to late
To late to even count them
For soon there will be way to many
I can't even say why they are there
But soon everyone will know why
And then like me they will try to hold them back
But it will be to late
As many will stand at that flood gate
As we try to let the tears wash away the pain
But it never will
They never do
The pain that is about to be created
Will resonate for years and years to come
And all I can do is stand and watch
And brace for impact

Drown my screams out with your chatter
I'm unseen, I don't matter
Please don't give me another thought
In the grip of nothingness I was caught
Day by day I slowly slipped away
As I slowly faded to gray
You never noticed, you never knew
Noting in your life was askew
Once upon a time I use to cross your mind
The best erasing is done by time
Now I'm but a gray mist,that floats before your minds eye
That before you can grasp the memory away I fly

Grab my hand now, lead me into your beautiful fields
Lay me down, show me the clouds
Rip off my darkened shroud
Make me lower my defensive shields

Make my mind take flight, soaring ubove my plight
Crease my body till it's in convulsions
Look deep into my eye's till my whole being pulses
Not caring if it's wrong or right

I cry to you, take me away for just a night
Leave me withering, in massive longing
As you torturer me with your taunting
But you don't have to I'll just sink back out of sight

The alligator in my dreams
Stomped on all my pretty things
He gobbled down
My favorite clown
He quickly tuned around
Chased me till he found
All he need do is open his jaws
In I'd crawl
In the belly of the beast
I found the thief
That stole my heart
So I took back my part
Turned around and strolled right out
Between the teeth, in that beast's snout
Pinched myself, so I would awaken
So I could placed back the heart that's was forsaken

Two broken souls
Trying to make each other whole
They were quite a mess when they found each other
Each had lived through torment, one after another

Her body was full of scars, just trying to maintain
His heart had been trampled and drained
They gave each other their own heart
They found it filled in all the parts

And together they where whole
They where connected, soul to soul

Her with all her worries of the future
He always tried to hush and nurture
He would slay all her demons and doubt
She showed him what true love was all about

They loved each other so
Like they had known each other long ago
They lived joyfully for many many years
There was only ever joyful tears
Until that one horribly sad day
The Lord took her away

On that day his true love died
He just wanted to be by her side
He just seemed to wither away
Without her by his side he didn't want to stay

Soon after he passed too
Even in death his true love he would pursue
They say he died of a broken heart
But I know it was because she had his missing parts

There was a girl stuck in the mire and the muck
No one thought of her very much

They used
They abused
They did all they could do
To keep her down in that stew

Yet she forgave
She wouldn't cave
She still put good out
In the mists of her doubt

But she was still shunned
When she become undone
She would leave scars
Her body was marred

But still she pushed on
Hoping she was wrong
That love would shine
But love always left behind
More anger, and wounds
She was leaving soon

And one very lonely day
She decided she couldn't stay
She left her world of gray
She dusted off her wings, and just flew away

Nightmares invade sleep
Awake till the morning light
Sweet dreams a rare treat