I know it sounds
So utterly dull
And strange to
Some of you
But here is
A description
Of me
Like you asked

I am a child born as snow fell
On the day David Bowie died
(Technically a few years before that)
A little late
But still good
I was as quiet as a mouse
I never cried or complained

But when I got older
Things changed
I didn’t act like other children
I wore brown each day
Which turned to purple
And now it is shades of
Blue, black and grey
Things were confusing
And a woman kept seeing me
In my home
Asking me questions
And showing me videos and pictures
Of a million different emotions
On a million different faces
And I mostly stayed alone
In the playground

I then researched myself
I found out what I have
It’s a little something
That makes me a little mad
But not bad
I don’t understand different emotions
I know what happy is
I know what sad is
But people don’t show their emotions truthfully
And I can’t understand it
I hate it when people talk
LOUDLY
AT
THE
TOP
OF
THEIR
LUNGS
I don’t like trying new foods
I don’t like being touched that much
Unless I know the person
And processing information
Is a little hard

But I have a few abilities
So I’m not a disability
I see patterns everywhere
I remember random facts
I see the trees and not the forest
I am emotive and mostly understanding
And of course
I write my dreams
My thoughts
My opinions
My life
Through poems
And questions
And the nice thing is
No one minds
No one cares
They don’t mind that I am me
They don’t care how I do things

Can you clear this up for me?
I was told autism is a 'spectrum disorder'
It is Autism Spectrum Disorder
Spectrum means a circle of unless colours in different shades
Light or dark
Hot or cold

So why is it rated by functionality?!

I am 'high functioning', I can succeed in life with no support.
If that is the truth
Why do I panic at every sound?
Why can't I process information?
Why am I not as social than I should be?

I know someone who is 'low functioning'
I am told they won't succeed at life
But they draw beautiful pictures
So does that mean they will not succeed?

So tell me
Is the spectrum a lie?
Or is the functionality a myth?

I will be the red in your blood, the colour that bleeds from you
It bleeds when you ruin it
That beautiful skin
I will be the red blood that is within you

I will the orange in the soft glow of your bedroom light
I will be there, every day and every night
Letting you fall into a deep sleep
I will be orange light that will glow forever

I will be the yellow in the sunshine
That lights up your pretty smile
I will have to leave sometimes at some point
But I will be back
As the yellow sunshine

I will be the grass green that bends under your bare feet
When you roll around and laugh with joy in your heart
I will always be there, no matter where you go
I will be the green grass that surrounds you

I will be the blue in the evening sky
The blue in the sea you watch each day
I will sometimes be a little stormy so I hope you forgive me
I will be the blue that follow you

I will the purple in the night
As the world starts to fall asleep with you
I will leave but inky temporarily
And I will guide you to bed each night
I will be the purple night

I will be the pink in the flowers you pick
And wear in your hair and around your neck
I'll die someday but I regrow
So don't worry, I won't go
I will be the pink flowers

I will be the White Walls that protect you
Day and night
Morning or evening
I will soak up all the loud noise
And keep you safe
I will be the White Walls

I will be the grey in the rain
That falls and creates puddle at your feet
I will cry with you when you are sad
Embrace you when you want it
I will be the grey rain

I will be the black in the words you will read
You will read them someday I hope
Maybe you'll remember or forget
But remember this
I am the black words you will always read

I can't describe it officer
I can't describe the feeling of pain
All this bad luck
Came in, like a hurricane
I'm sorry officer
I didn't mean it
They don't help me
And I think these pills aren't either
No officer, I'm not crazy so there

No officer, stop it
don't tell me things that
People tell me each day
I was told I had to.
Family tradition officer.
Yes officer
No officer
I know officer
Stop officer
Stop calling me sir
I don't remember that
Being my
Name

Yes I know it's not real
But you missed something out
It's not real
TO YOU
But look at these photographs officer
These... Visions....
Are based on these photographs
And guess who took them?
Guess who has to risk their sanity
And safety
And their life
And lose their mentality
Just to show these ****** photos
To a world that doesn't care
And brushes them aside
Like dust
Or sand
Or a crying baby
Or a begging homeless dude
Or a sobbing woman

It's me.
And these visions are
REAL
TO ME

If you saw me now and wanted me
I'm sorry but you're too late
My heart has already mended
It never broke, it just vented
Now it's fine
It's got it's shine

If you were here for me
As you can see
I've moved on from that end
But we can be freinds
If not then, so long, goodbye
Don't ask me why
Or when
I will move on from men

This is who I am
It's all part of my plan (not yours or gods)
And nothing you do or say
Will make my heart sway

“We are all equal! Made in god’s image!”
Except, of course,
The two male sinners  
Kissing behind closed doors
Those two female demons
Who hold hands when no one sees
That criminal over there
Who claims to be a girl
And not a boy
And that other criminal
Who is a girl but wants to be a boy
The person spreading propaganda
That these people deserve ‘respect’.
And of course, the devil over there
Who is not a boy or girl

Some things
Need to have a name
Yet some things
Like racism
Discrimination
Homophobia
Cyber bullying
Bullying
Are all better off
To just be called
HATE