I stare at myself in the mirror
Picking and degrading every single curve, bump, and blemish
Labeling myself as unworthy of human affection

Degrading what I physically cannot change
And hating what I can change but chose not to

I am quick to blame myself for the littlest of things
And say sorry more than I probably should
Even for the things I had no part in

I set these barriers almost impossible to penetrate
But I dwell on the smallest of things said about me
Letting them tear me down mentally until I give in and believe them

But in this world
In this society
In this generation
All we can do is try to build our walls higher and higher

Until we are finally tired of building

Do not give me a fresh rose
give me one that has crusted leaves and a brown stem
because my heart is telling me
that I can not handle to watch another life fade

There is something pure about the way the soft white city lights flicker in the dark unbearable night

We are so mislead by the construct of society that we forget how to breath

You tore down my walls
Brick by brick
Wrapping me
In your love, compassion, tenderness
But then you left..
Forcing me to remember why it was up to begin with

We make these scars to hide how we feel because we are to afraid to say something real.

To many mistakes have led to this;
A point of desperation and lack of self worth.

Being alone is what scared me the most
But then you came
We hugged, we loved, we grew
Then you left
And lonely is what I ended up being

The day the words no longer made sense
The day when the world lost its color
The day you lost hope
Was the day you lost your breath and the sky lost a star

Society was the cell
Self doubt was the lock
My thoughts were the chains
My insecurities were the steel door
And confidence was the key
-EC

I thought you loved me
Showing unfathomable amounts of passion
Understanding me on unreachable levels
Accepting me for me
And then you vanished
Stranding me with thoughts of anguish
Questioning, what I did wrong
You abandoned me
Leaving me empty with 3 words in your wake

What is love?

Admiring the vibrant landscape
As the sweet earthy scent drowns my senses
Observing tree leaves flirtatiously dancing with the wind,
The flowers parading their colors to the sun, And the vivid green grass continued to spread

-EC

Drops of sweat trickled down her spine
Her arms started to crack
her legs began to bend
And her shoulders started to tighten
She wouldn't last much longer
Until she would come crashing down
Defeated by the weight of life

Escaping the light, the two of us, together
Running from our dreadful reality
Searching for our home in the dark
Where our demons can play,
A place where we can be ourselves
Stealing moonlight kisses

The sight of you brought my words
Your lips brought my lines
Your eyes brought my poems
Your voice was my inspiration
Your presence was my muse
But then you abandoned me
Leaving me with a notebook, a pen and my own thoughts

I lay down begging sleep to come
But as usual my emotions came first
Thoughts of what we used to be, of you, of love, of everything hit me
It hit me hard until I was left with nothing but my ragged breaths to lul me to sleep

You were perfect
With your perfect porcelain body
Your perfect glass eyes
Your perfect authentic brown hair
But perfect just isn't for me
I prefer imperfect so we can perfect eachother together

Every letter you type, every word you say
I can feel you pushing away
I **** and I plead
For you just to talk to me
I want you to know Im there
I want you to know I care
I try to be there for you
But there is only so much I can do

I opened my ears and heard you say
I don't love you anymore
I thought I would come crashing down
But I guess seeing is believing
And what I saw was once a dark gloomy world
Turn into a bright vibrant masterpiece

When you walked out the door
I fell to my knees entreating
Baby, please!
I begged for you to come back
And did everything I could to have you
But having you came with a price
My dignity

I pondered the question
How do I move on?
Wondering how my heart will continue beat
How my lungs will continue to breathe
After you left because you were my everything

I opened my eyes and saw nothing but
Chaos, screaming, arguing, fighting
Until I saw you
And the mere sound of your voice
Brought silence to my world
And only then did I find peace

When your hands would roam
I got this tingle of want
A want that couldnt be exposed
For you were my guilty pleasure
My secret

The way you looked at me
With water drops clinging to your lashes
Built a fire of desire
That only you could tame

Offers strength, hope
Beauty
Soft growing compassion
Intense, spontaneous, strangely
Unexpected
Leaving you daring,longing for more
Building a powerful bond of
Trust, tears, pure sadness, blind exotic
Determination
Love

Walking through the gate was frightening
Being surrounded by older, taller, more experienced people
Afraid of the never ending halls
Afraid of getting lost on my journey from class to class
Terrified of the work and the new people I would soon greet

Middle of the year was like being caught in the eye of a thunderstorm
The chaos, the friendship, the drama, the work
Oh the work!
At times I thought I would crack
Just shatter to the floor, unable to continue
I lost hope that I would make it

Often I felt doubt
On who I was, how I looked, how I acted
I even lost courage in myself because I didn’t know what I wanted
Even if I did, I wouldn’t know where to start to achieve it
I gave up trying, thinking how could I even compete
When these older, taller, more experienced people already know

By the end of the year as I walk out the gates to leave
I soon realized I didn’t have to worry and lose hope,
Because even though these people are older and taller,
Doesn’t mean they know what they want or how to get it either

You gave me your eyes
With which I saw your past
Both the love and hate you have endured
And the wisdom you obtained

You gave me your hair
With which I saw the years you have lived
And the damage done to your soul

You gave me your arm
With which I saw the strength you have gained
And the lengthy scars that cut deeper than the flesh

You gave me your heart
With which I saw your shattered pieces taped together
I saw the pain that strained your vulnerable heart
But most of all I saw your ability to love after all of the heartache

-EC

Who am I?
Who are you?
Who are we?
I don't recognize us from who we used to be

My hair is longer
Your eyes are older
We are stronger

Who am I?
Who are you ?
Who are we?