Finding a way home
To my own
I went every where
Here and there
In search of me
And my soul.
But found none
So returned back home.

Disheartened I was,
But saw some people
who went nowhere
But found themselves
and their soul
In a place called
Their own home.

What is love?

I call it you.
A soul of you
Resides within me
To make me fly around you
You come to meet me
To be with me
I feel blessed to have you
Although I would never tell you
That I love you
But my meaning of love
Is you..and to keep loving you.

You keep coming back
To meet me from far off
And I come to meet you into your soul
Hug me tightly and let me in,
I would always be there

To be a part of you.

.
.
.
Happiness is....?
Does it really matter that much?

To be in life and to live life,
laugh out loud with people around.

Not necessarily to love them
or possess them,
Just to be in the moment and enjoy laughing moments
With them...
Is what life demands to be.

To be and just be
being alone in own space
of mind and heart.
To be able to love oneself
when no one is around.
To wipe out one's own tears
When you see only
your own hand at night
And to finally be able to smile
After an hard cry.
And to stand for oneself,

**...Is indeed real happiness!

A celebration ends
*And we celebrate it
with laughter,
joy, and a bit of sadness
but only with the hope
in our eyes
that the rejoicing moments
would come back again
and fill us with all happy moments
all over again.

Each of us
Carries a dark patch
Trembling in guilt
to hide to our brim
No longer be afraid
of that dark side
As we are more than
the darkness
We are the light
to be outshined!

The essence of festivities all around
And the ray of hope
lit in our eyes
Few more days
And it begins.

Festival will come, once again
New attires, new hopes
shining in bright light.
Mother Goddess arrives,
to heal our mind.

9th and 10th day left
With good wishes all around
When Goddess Durga arrives
Returns back our smiles
And heart fills up with happiness.

With the arrival of Goddess Durga
Take back the past
Take back our past love
Take back everything
Which no longer belongs to us
And make us anew.

Written originally in Bengali-

Pujo pujo gondho
Amader sobar chokhe aalo
Kichu din aaro
Tarpor pujo aarombho.

Pujo aashbe, abar aasbey
Notun kapor, notun aaloker dhaara
Maa elo abar,
Mon k saariye deoyar jonno.

Nobomi r dashmi baki
Preeti o Shubhechha
Maa-r aagomone
Firbe abar haashi
Mon bhore Khushi

Elo Maa Durga
Aager din er kotha
Aager prem
Sob firiye nao
Amader notun kore dao.

You might fall
But get up to crawl
Don't stay down too long
For you have a poetry or a song
To inspire the ups and downs
Of life of a weary soul.

Eat sleep read
And fly to your
Fictional destiny.

In the midst of everything
Don't forget to enjoy the journey
Full of emotional escasty.
Love,
pain,
sadness,
Joy,
full of surprises
and
.
.
.
.
.
finally
A comfort from within,
a healing touch
From someone known
A book that I hold!

I was never in good terms
with myself
Since I hit puberty
Why?
I had no answer to it.

But during my early childhood
I loved being with me.
Then what happened to that 'me'?

Somewhere lost..

Why?

Again I had no answers to it!

But I only know
That I went out in the midst
of harsh reality
In search of comfort & security
But hard luck!
I searched in wrong places
Only to find myself wounded
Again and again.

Until now, I was in denial that I exist
But now I am seeking for myself again
Trying to find that
comfort from within
And not outside.
Figuring out to be in better terms
With my own self.

Finally,

I am mildly in love with myself
With my silence all over again.

There are splashes of brush strokes
Amidst the clouds in the sky
envisioned as heavenly glory.
Painted in numerous colorful reunion
with blue, orange and crimson
the clouds and the ray of the sun
Dancing without any reason!

I've been in sickness
For over a week now
Desolated from all -
Near and dear ones
To count upon.
Nobody to hold me
before I fall!

But the moment
I reached home
A spark of hope
rekindled from within.
An unspoken feeling
Spoken out loud -
Don't worry
You will be fine
You are at home.

In fever I thought
When unable to get up at all
Like a tortoise I walked
Thinking all over again
What is life all about?

Remembered all my loved ones
But found only myself in solace
Care transferred through calls & texts.
Again asked myself
What is life all about?

There are feelings
To be written
But when it looks like a force fit
It's better to be unwritten!

A friend you are
More than before
Fleets by time
Making me
wait for long
Hours,weeks,
months as it goes,
I wonder now
I have never waited
for someone for so long!

But the memories of you
keeps me intact
Though missing you
makes me unwell
out of nowhere.

The night walks with you
and the tight hugs
Under the blue moon
The laughter and
the long drives
Infinite memories
of you to recall.

Only with the hope that
I would see you soon!

There were many Poets/poetess
who are forgotten by now.

They used to write every other day
spending most precious moments here.

But now I don't find them any more,
replaced by new one's I suppose.

Either they write on their on
or continue with their life as it flows.

I miss all of you.

I miss the night walking with you
The laughter and fooling around
and
Holding you tight
more than ever.
No doubt,
I miss the love of you
A treasure I have longed for
more than half of my life.

You make me wait
For months and hours long
And I wonder now
Do you wish to love me more
Or to spend the time
So as to forget your loneliness?

I wish I could sense all of your love
Like a cocooned shelter over me
Protecting me like a shield
I miss everyone whom
I have ever loved
I miss everyone who
loved me very much.
I see them in Dreams now
Far, far away from reality.
I wish them all the happiness
No matter whether they did
wrong or not!
I hope there is more hope of love for
me all around.

You all are the thorns in my heart
Sharp pinching memories
hurt me all across from within & out!

But with love when all of you take shape
I melt like a chocolate ice-cream cone
Would do anything,
to be with all of you.

Went into the pool
To dip my head
Under the water
To break the
Disturbances
from within.

Dipped my head for
Few seconds
or minutes.

Couldn't tell the time
Except to feel the calmness
All across my body,
As if the time has paused,
Nothing mattered after that
Except the stillness underneath
And within!

What happens
when you start feeling unwanted in your home?
A home which I thought
I could call mine.
The friends I thought
Would come along with me
But they come & go
As if they always wished
To leave.

Sometimes
I question myself
If I am so unwanted
They people leave
Whoever comes
close to me!

I'm tired,
tired of being alone,
Unwanted, unseen.
Better I stay away
Away from everyone.
Quiet all the time
How much more
Quiet everyone expects me
To be?

People move on
Like dust in the air
Leaving behind the memories
Of the sunshine within the dark.
Let the sunshine inculcate & grow
To fill up our holes beneath the heart.

Imperfectly perfect
Accept me as I am
Or leave as early as
Time flies unable to be tame
Be a part of me
Stay & not leave!

My mind & heart
Enters into the gloom
Breaking through the walls
Into the woods of doom
Only to find a new moon!

How to tell it to me,
It will be invisible
For sometime long
Along the way
Where I belong!.

Better seek out
Something which is
More near & dear
Real without fear.

Wait if you must
Don't rush to the dust
Listen to your intuition
to bring back your
Laughable soul
Which would eventually

Make yourself whole!

I have stopped, stopping by
for the people all around.
Its me now in this lonely world
but with less of me in this soul.

Yes, I have stopped waiting
long enough that my heart has burnt all across
I have nothing more to win or to lose..

Just me,
my work
with the
ashes of my dreams.

I see eyes
with a vision of
unfulfilled dreams
out of fear
unable to hear
the intuition
of the near.

Guts doesn't come so easily
Only to lasts long
until its unreal
to make it dear!

My lips, parched as the thirsty desert
lingering upon for a submerged bite!

Only to be seen,
are thunders & lightening
awaiting for a tiny drop of rain
amidst the dark blue sky following!

A family in fight
how to resolve
perhaps bunch of
ice cream would help?

Yes, I was right
Food & sweetness
always brings the family close!

A manager's role
in the process
out of the blue
didn't know
it would come to me
so soon.

A manager's role
in brief how it looks
to me...

Manage yourself
sort out time,
work
and in-between
manage other people
along with solving problems
of mine as well as others.

A character it is,
to carry out & lead
and figuring out
how it is supposed to be!

I tried
I tried
I tried it
On my own
And time froze
Not knowing
What's there
for store!

A support you were
Always to me
Took all the pressure
Out of rocky edges
And never told anyone
How it was to be!
Not understanding you
Was a blunder of all
I wish I could undo it
Once & for all!
Keep no hard feelings
As I'm already being punished
from being away from you!
So much away
that it makes me feel
going to an empty nest
Every other day.

I wish I could
make you understand
that how you meant to me
With all the irritations
and leg-pulling
You made me cry
You made me laugh
To the brim!
I wish I could do
something for you
To return back
all the treasures
you gave to me!

Be in touch people say
But in this era
Touch is only at screens!
Time passes by
And every wound heals,
But to an extent
An empty space in the heart
Is never reciprocated!

-13 July, 2017

My birthday
An elevation in Life
Of 27 years
Seems like a life
renewed with
new experiences
All over again.
My body, soul
My heart & my goal
Stand tall
Hiding the pain
& Sadness to all
I am more mature.

Utmost Love,
wishes & gifts
Happy moments
Spent with loved ones
To be kept safe
In the core of my heart.

I cut the cake
But while blowing the candle
I had no wish to say
I am grateful enough
For the love
I got throughout
my life.

I see people resigning
at workplace
and within a day a two
their place is substituted
by somebody unknown!

No emotions
Just laughter
and machine work
all across!
A vast space
filled with
empty emotions
hard to breath!
Chokes me out
every other day!

I wonder!
Should I cut
my emotions too?
And be the machine
just the way it works out
until exhausted to its brim!!

A sister
always near & dear
what special to give you
on your special day?

You live your life
with minimalist vision.
Materials were never
in your cart,
rather love & care
was worthy enough
for your part.

A special being you are
Supporting all of us
How to ever return back
The love and care
Which you keep on
giving us?

A possession your have
a shimmering jewel of heart,
only to be cherished
as a form of art.

Flowers of each color
Symbolizing emotions
In blooming pattern.
Bloom in each color
Every now and then
Flowers playing
the role within us.
Showing us
how we need to change
From yellow to red
then to white,
later to pink
all of a sudden!
A perception of change
with colorful entity each time.
Pick any color for yourself
And enjoy the free flowing drizzle
Of a colorful life!

I will not let you be my part
1, 2,3 and several others
I will keep overcoming
One after the other.

Each one I choose a fear,
and me in my cocoon
ready to break free all the barriers!
To let myself live
and
to undo all
my fears!!

Go Dream
A long journey
Which made me wear out
From left, right, top n bottom.
I opened my eyes
And read- Welcome to the dream destination.
And all at once my weariness went away
leaving behind their vacation mail.

I know its a dream, a dream
Which I never want to wake up from,
With smiling faces here n there
unknown treasury all across.
from where I never would have
want to return on my own!

Saw a beach from far off
for the very first time
would touch the soul of the sea
chills, thrills all over my body
not knowing how to go about!

Went to meet God
in the church
and prayed
for the wonderful gift
to vacate my negativity
as a whole.

Then had fish
tenderly cooked
with coconut oil
good for health
tasting yummy
yum! yum!
which was like
music to my
mouth-watering
tongue.

Went for a long drive
to rest my soul.
Here and there
to wander all around.
In the midst of all,
fell in love.
A love with life
and You at once.

Then, went to feel the sea again.
A heart and its core
feeling on the sea-shore.
Waiting to be waved by the sea.
To play and roll
finding all the treasury
into my soul!

Cherishing every moment
while climbing a fort
until the sun has set
and night had its song.
A song of love
putting me into deep sleep,
caressing me
to dream a new dream,
which I never ever had,
To live once again
and to wake up again
and again.

A chirping song of the birds
Woke me up
Love, love me more.
Running back to the sea
and its shore
draw more
to learn the waves
showing us the importance
of impermanence
redefining every line
as an art of life
start anew
while the sea
prepares to erase.

Returned climbing to another fort
shifting our focus somehow
to a two birds
busy with their
chirping talks,
We are understanding nothing
Except the bond they had
Were strong.

Climbed down
collecting all my memories
packed everything
but
left behind us, our love
which might not accompany
Until the next destination.

Do you love me?
I never asked though
but only wished -
take me inside your soul.
We might return
from the destination.
But never from the strings
of our heart
which played the music
of our hearts all along.

Unpredictable dream,*
A dream of love,
life and living,
all at once
and  to dream a new dream
every now and then,
to just resume our living
as a whole.

A cycle of change*
knocks my door
unpredictably
leaving no choice behind
but to keep pedaling!

Pain and growth
it might bring
making us either
low or high!

Moving on is the
only way out,
to experience a
new cycle each
and every time!
making way for
opportunities*
to let us shine.

What is life all about?

Working like a machine.
Holidaying sometimes
and meeting people
we know closely.

But every now and then
With change of the time
Shifting and shuffling
Keeps happening
In and around
To figure out again
what’s mine and yours!
But most unpredictable it is,
to figure out what life is!

-02/07/2017

The possibility of the unknown
Is like a fruit yet to be tasted
either sweet or sour
unknown it will be
Until & unless dared to be tasted
for knowing its richness
for a better insight
of the soul!

– 28/06/2017

One after the other
I keep finding a substitute.
A substitute for love,
One by one they leave
To create a new mess
out of the old,
making me
colder to fold!

One by one
they venture into me,
a life to fulfill my dreams
A new dream I see,
To love each of them
Whether they stay or leave!**

10-06-2017

Unexpected feast with friends
in a swing table
which moves to and fro
we 3 eat, laugh and crack jokes
for no reason at all!

We went with the flow
to sail our boats
into the sea of hopes
laughing a bit more
to seek nothing
but got everything
in a plate,
full of spicy happiness
to rejoice.*

02-06-2017

Friends on the go
I make as life goes on.
Uncertain it may seem
rocky path I walk
painting a road
set too high
few friends along the way
take a different road
after a while,
I find no one around
I keep painting my way home
and
finally, on the go
I meet new people
not substituting the old
but just guiding as a light
beneath the dark soul.**

02-06-2017

A dog in the street
with such an innocence
it expresses as if in a dream
waging its tail
while it follows me everywhere
didn't know to what give
but I knew it for sure
it needed some love
which went missing!

I fear the things I haven't done
I fear the things I have done
fear is all over my body & soul.
I feel nothing else
except to fear of known
as well as unknown!

I rule none,
but fear rules all over me
again and again.
People leave or I leave them
in the fear that they would find me
fearful all the time.
I step back every now & then
checking that I'm still fearful
of what I can't find!

With teary eyes
I say no to every new opportunity
that knocks my door!
Don't know how to stop my fear
and start my day of life after all.

I am more fearful of myself
than the world I live in.
And here I write
fearing that I might never be
able to erase the path of fear
I am walking in!

Time is running fast
and I am missing out every dream
to make it into reality.
I scream at myself
to let go of all the fears
and to stop doing this to myself.
I am aware of the bigger problems of the world
but here I stand helplessly helpless
finding nothing but fears of mountains
getting darker with each night!

Living in duality
fearless & fearful
and fearfulness
takes over fearlessness!

Loneliness & Imagination
two friends of mine
whom I keep by my side.

Loneliness was a bit sad
getting bored occasionally
but imagination was happily high
carrying a garland full of lines.

Both are unique,
and without two of them
I am nothing.

I choose to hang out with them
Gave them food of emotions
with sweetness of my closeness
Kissed & hugged them tight
for making me artistically alive! <3

Adversity burnt everything
which I once thought was mine!

But later guided me
into a new road of uncertainty!

Cherishing the learning process
of striking back as a new arrival!

Setting my tears ablaze
who cares but none!

So  lets back fall again & again
but in different ways.

Finding a way out
to turn those shadows of failures
into shining hopes of reality!

Smiling with each fall I realized
I am more than I could define!

I came across a line today -

"There are seven days in the week,
and “someday” isn’t one of them."

So true,
for a clue
to live life again!


I wanted to keep myself healthy, but I say, from
someday I would start exercising and eat healthy.

Everyday I think, I would create art, more often
but postpone it to someday to make it happen.

I wanted to ride a bike but I keep saying
someday I would learn how to ride.

I wanted to express my love to someone
but my hearts say - someday,
I would express my love all over again.

I wanted to read as many books as possible.
but brain says, someday I would read it all.

I wanted to buy clothes which would
suit my character at best,
but I say, money isn't enough so someday
I would earn it so as to afford it.

I wanted to travel more often
but I keep saying to myself,
This time is not right, someday I would.

I have lost most of my friends
and I don't know whether they were
friends or foe in real.
But I keep saying someday
I might see them again.

*And Someday never happens
make it happen today itself..

A broken vessel
full of cracks
cannot hold the love
but to pour out
empty all along
without reflection
of the soul
I'm a broken vessel
unable to become whole.