a glass chalice shattered on marble steps,
a cherub speared by his own arrow—
do not tell me you do not hear it.
where moon boys and glossy girls live boldly,
they glow, shining and tacky like transparent saran
a rope around your neck and
for where death is present, so too is its midwife.
in the dark
help guide me to the exit sign
oh! perform for the lords and ladies,
lie down under lights and washes of blushing love,
over your body
lay a rose for crows who do not sing.
but beware, when slowly will a golden shroud descend
and you will fall to your knees.
(as petals fall to the ground, so soft)
and it will part a way
(if buttery light could cleave so)
not clear but swiftly fading, slowing
illuminated faintly dimly glowing
above me reaching inhale
exhale inhale exhale inha—
oh fallen child, where have you gone?
is there really balm in Gilead
or is that the mistaken hope of every saint and sinner?
it is a silent night tonight, blessed with only one star,
and i hope that it is yours.
for the world went black when you closed your eyes
and will need new seeds of light.
how did we fail you so badly?
how did we fail to see underneath, fail to
hear you screaming, telling us you felt wrong.
you spoke out for us, lifted us in our silence,
and yet, we said nary a word during yours.
it is not hard to tell someone they are loved.
to let them know that they have done well, that they have worked hard;
to lighten someone’s heart with a simple word or two.
for in this life of stop and go, the rush and sigh of a few billion souls
runs fast like rapids beneath the feet, and
it is not so hard to be
swept up amidst a current of
mockingly pulsating restless life,
all the while being buried ,
fathoms beneath a violent sea of wrath,
a tempest held in depthless waters, a fight unresolved—
where, under the shadows of a brooding cloud and a weeping rain,
our sorrows will wash over us.
but what good is a battle unwitnessed?
address it say its name.
stop hiding it behind plastic flowers and brittle leaves,
under rice-paper skin and honey smiles.
rip the valance off
of this drapery of deceit
and lay bare before the world the truth.
it was suicide.
he took his life.
mental health is real.
perfection is not.
if anyone can be saved, then
let not your death be in vain.
rest in paradise, jonghyun.
if you are aching, if you are drowning, know that someone, somewhere, is afloat because of you. please, do not hesitate to seek help, we are here for you. it is not wrong to feel how you do, to be who you are. you are loved, you are worthy, you matter. reach out, for you are not alone.