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max Jul 21
the moon shines brightly tonight
his pale face peers down on me
as i wonder
if he is okay
up there all alone
hhhhh this hit close but :\
moon Apr 23
there was one night when i got home from work.
my family was getting ready to go to sleep while i was just barely taking off my shoes.
i dragged my body up the stairs and into my room where i leaned against my doorway.
it was thanksgiving.
my older sister began telling me everything i missed and i began to relive my work day.
something in my chest began to feel heavy.
and once again,
i needed a hug.
my mouth felt zipped,
i couldn't open it if i tried.
i remember slowly falling to my knees.
still in my work clothes,
i began to cry.
oh how badly i wanted to spend this holiday with my family,
oh how badly i just wanted that day to be over so i could consider it the past.
the present felt like a sharp pain in my chest.
i closed my eyes as tears made their way down my face.
in that quiet, painful moment
i felt arms around me.
i let myself go completely.
the silent tears turned into sobs as my head dug into my older sisters shoulder.
she rubbed my back and told me i did good, that she was proud of me,
that i did well.
inspiration from the end of a day by jonghyun
y'ay'a Dec 2018
a year's passed us by,
i'm still not ready to say
goodbye. i love you.

a year's passed us by,
i'm still not ready to say
goodbye. i need you.

a year's passed us by,
but you're still here by my side.
always be with you.
jonghyun, i love you
y'ay'a Dec 2018
for i cannot tell a lie
i really do hate being alive

i hate knowing that there's a mere six litres of blood in our bodies
that's three two-litre bottles of soda
three two-litre bottles of soda
is all that keeps me here
and i hate it

i hate knowing that the leafcutter ant can hold up to fifty times its weight in its jaw
and i can't even hold myself up throughout the day
for there is no one weaker than i
no one who has struggled as much as i
and i hate it

i hate knowing
that the people i once knew
and opened myself up to
have blocked me out of their minds
but i can't seem to get them out of mine

i hate that so much

but i'm not filled with hate

i love the moon
the moon is all i have left in life to look up and look forward to

and on the nights where he hides
and i can only see him behind closed eyes
i hope he can still hear me
when i tell him i've been doing just fine

and i'm not lying
i really mean it, i swear
i mean
it's just so hard these days, you know?

wish you were here
spoken word vent poem meant to be about depression now it's just desperation and mourning
y'ay'a Dec 2018
missing you comes in waves
and i drown in them every time
y'ay'a Sep 2018
misery is when
the phases of the moon
are all there is left
to look forward to
y'ay'a Oct 2018
you have brought me light
and now, i know not of how
to see without you
HR Dec 2017
i'm sorry
you couldn't find anything
to firmly grasp

i'm sorry
i couldn't be there
to hold you in my arms

“he's in a happier place”,
they tell me,
but i know it's not enough

when i know that,
without you,
my happy place is lost
HR Aug 2018
i hope that,
ever since you replaced the moon,
the stars are always singing you to sleep.
Sora Aug 2018
Every night I look up to the sky
wondering if you see me
I talk with my face to space
wondering if you hear me

Every night I look at the stars
looking for the brightest one
because I know that that's you
you will always shine the brightest

Every night I ask you if you're alright
you deserve to be
because you did well
and you work hard
you deserve to know that

Every night I tell you that you're worth it
that you fought so well
and that I will never leave your side
because you're not alone

Every night I ask myself
why it still hurts so much
this aching pain inside my heart
no matter what I do
it isn't fading

Every night the tears stream down my face
while listening to your beautiful songs
Breath, Lonely, End of a Day
they all say how you really felt

Every night I feel sorry
that I couldn't erase your pain
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you
even when you screamed for help in your songs
we still didn't hear it

Every night I realise
you made me happy
you made we laugh
even though you were in pain
you still made me smile

Every night I wonder
if you're finally at peace now
no more tears, no more pain
just happiness and love

Every night I thank you
for the beautiful memories
and for the meaningful songs you left behind
I will treasure it forever

Every night I hope that you're looking down
watching over us
looking back at the beautiful memories you made here
with your members, family, friends and fans

And every night I tell you that I love you
I love you Jonghyun-ah
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