They always say you eventually hit the bottom.

Everyday, I just seem to fall further though. With no bottom in sight.

For some words form a poem in their lonesome.

Finality.

It was a waiting room for the dying
A home for agony and fluorescent lights
Nurses dashing from bed to bed

I sat by your side
Wishing my soul he would instead take
I sat by your side
Wishing your eyes would finally awake

Fighting off each urge to sleep
As the clock crept deeper into the early-morning hours
I watched your face slowly come alive
For once that fateful night
I knew things would be alright

Drops of rain engulf the space around me. Burdening my jacket with their fleeting composition. I stare to the clouds with eyes so empty.
Eyes so hollow from this eternal case of melancholia.

My hearts sinks to the catacombs, and there is shall remain.
Stuck in yesterday, yet dreaming of tomorrow. I feel the growing pains as it wishes to escape. To be free of the malady of being alone. To find the one who can nurture it for eternity.

The sun pierces the clouds, reminding me to breathe. Reminding me to smile. To love. I can't deny this beckoning. This call to arms. For even in the dark you must follow your heart. Through atrophy, through apathy, I choose to carry on. Though the path is lost, and full of challenges, I will not give in to the anguish that lies within.

Being a hopeless romantic...

It's laying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Listening to any love song with piano.

It's thinking about that one person.
From dawn until dusk, and dusk until dawn.
Their name, their smile, repeating in your mind.

It's realizing you may never be the one locked in their arms.
The only place you truly desire to be.
No matter how hard you try.

It's accepting sadness as  a part of you.
At least it's better than feeling nothing at all.

It's a beautifully, broken, equation.
One that has no universal solution.

Being a hopeless romantic...

It's a blessing and a curse.

A blackened path
A darkened soul
Reasons I fight
Lost from my sight

Slowly forgetting
What used to be
What could have been

When my light dims
The shadows come to take me
When my light dims
Will you be there to save me?

Or will I fade away?
Forever in the gray
Blessed by this deception
In need of resurrection

A bird with broken wings
This bird no longer sings

Time becoming thin
With each passing day
My heart is more constricted
Please come and cut the chain
Save me from this sorrow
And free
I will fly again

If dreams came true, I'd be there by your side.
We'd watch our favorite movies while drinking coffee on the couch.
If dreams came true, you would tell me that you're sad.
I would tell you I feel the same.
That everything would be okay, and not to be afraid.
If dreams came true, we'd be the only two adults dancing in the rain.
People would stare, but we wouldn't have time to care.
If dreams came true, I'd be there when you had nightmares.
I'd hold you in my arms and chase the dark away.
If dreams came true, you and I would be a melody, and it'd be my favorite song.

I thought of you today
While busy at work
The sweet words you used to say
Circling my mind
Reminding me of the note
In which you solemnly said goodbye
A teardrop growing in my eye
I know someday we'll meet again
Until then, I'll pretend
That you're right here next to me
With the smile you used to wear

Even now, I can feel it in my heart.

This sadness will be with me until the end.

I'm sorry mom, but please understand.
The reasons I don't call you back are the same reasons I'm so many miles away.
The same reasons I can't sleep at night, and why my future is so bleak.
I'm sorry we can't be friends or even talk about the weather.
I wish I could  forgive you.
Just move on and be the son you want me to be, but the feelings are far too strong.
You forced me to swallow all these daggers after all.
Daggers with names like "Sorrow","Agony", and "Regret".
I'm sorry mom, but when I let my phone keep ringing, understand it's because you gave me a mountain to climb.
Here I am at the top though, and I'm trying to move on.

I've reached the center of the bridge
Only to find no answers to the questions
Words held hostage
Behind my hopeless lips
I look to you for guidance
But you always fade away
Like the moon before the sun
I tremble slightly
Punching concrete below
Words held hostage
Behind my hopeless lips
Unable to ask
Why you leapt from that overpass
Every time I see you
Tear drops fill my eyes
Every time you see me
Tear drops fill your eyes
The shadow you now are
My knuckles start to bleed
You waltz away again
Words held hostage
Behind my hopeless lips
I drop another rose, and walk away once more

Meet me at the gate
To the place I now call home
Meet me at the gate
And I'll take you to my stone
To the place where I now rest
I'm right between the trees
Can you see me?
I sing from top'the knoll
Can you hear me?
My pillar is made of stone
And I'm buried far below
So when you call my name
Know I'm just a ghost.

Her eyes were like a broken window
Deceptively offering a sense of security
Past the shattered glass
It was obvious to see
The broken home was still living in her
Even if she wasn't living in it

Eviscerated is the heart
Still fighting every beat
Holding death in check
The blizzard of pain contends
Sometimes it seems to claim victory
But the remaining pieces keep the blood flowing
Steadily
The fragments give their all
For a chance...
For a hope...
They may be full again

The darkest of shadows are creeping in again
My cold heart begins to give in
Sorrow strikes tonight
I'm ridiculed by falling rain
I seek solace in the words you never say
This absolution of loneliness
Completion of a broken heart
I've been kissed by sadness, and it's spreading through my veins
I've been kissed by pain, and it's tearing me apart
Somewhere in the darkness, you will find my soul
The remnants of me, fall with broken dreams
Eternally cursed to tumble where the light will never shine

I didn't need a lure
Not even a hook
Bait didn't pay a role
No net, no knots, no pole
You simply walked into my life
You threw your arms around me
A squeeze ever so tight
Tight enough to free the unlit cigarette
from my jaw
It sailed softly to the ground
As if to say
"You won't need me anymore, that girl is here to stay"
And sure enough you did proclaim
I've never been much of a fisherman
but somehow I still caught you

We used to dance with the thunder
Our stage lit by crackling lightning
The storms would always cease
and I guess our love did too

It's easy to say that you're living
check your pulse
Proudly announce that it's there
but are you living?
or are you dying?
We're all dying slowly
it's a fact of nature
it's a fact that finality awaits

When I say living
I don't just mean
having a pulse
having breath inside your lungs
No
Living is much more
Living is experiencing as much as you can
Not fearing death
but embracing it as a reality
being able to overcome

Life to me is precious
Every given moment
Living to me
is doing the things
that bring peace and harmony to my soul
these things are different for everyone
but for me
Living is hugging trees on nameless trails
It's climbing rocks
Being captured by mountain views
Views so spectacular, that tears of joy fill my eyes

See living, living is spending your time
with the people you love
Spending your time
doing the things that make your heart want to smile
Eventually, everyone dies
The best thing you can do is to live life
Don't spend it dying

It's getting cold
And I really should go home
But staring at the stars
Helps me feel far less alone

I was lost and wayward.

My path eaten by the fog.

Then I realized, the fog was in my eyes.

So I took some time.

So I relaxed my mind.

The trail became so clear.

And it led me straight to you.

I'm fairly skilled at breaking my own heart.

I'm just not as good at piecing it back together.

Scar tissue abundant inside, she saw straight past my disguise.
"All your vitals are fine, but internally you've fallen behind"
As if she'd peered straight through my eyes.
My melancholy demise.
She kissed my cheek, a surprise.
Hopeful that I'd survive.

I laughed and told her I was fine.
Confirmed that it was all true.
My heart once whole, now torn straight in two.
In that moment, worry had painted itself on her face.
With my smile worn humbly, I continued,
"But I'll piece it back together, if only just for you."

Do you remember the nights? Back when we would chase the shooting stars under a canvas sky stained black. Nights we held so dear, prancing in the twilight.
                              Those nights led to coffee-shop mornings. Mornings when the "House Blend" was the only thing keeping our eyes open. Mornings that we spent holding each other tight, watching the sun climb in the meridian.
                               I thought those days would last forever, but here I am, kissing this cigarette. Wishing on those same stars that we used to chase.

It's...
Staring in your eyes
Realizing I might go blind
Your beauty is unletting
Shining brighter than the sun
As I move in closer
Your pale skin is illuminated by the moon
I kiss you subtly
Softly...
In that moment
Only one thing is true
And that single thing
Is the love I feel for you

He holds his breath
Hands white as winter
Releasing it slowly with a whisper
"I love you more than you could know"

He feels the air growing crisper
Holding her hand in mid-December
Life with her brought him bliss
Hand in hand, they watch ships pass

Her hair was good at catching snow
His love for her, she already knew
In that moment, her heart was full
Together in a moonlit eternity

In the mountains, I found myself
Kissed by ferns, by boots tread deep
Further into verdant green
Songs are sung by wind through trees
Ascending higher, I breach the peak
In myself, mountains free me

The days pass with haste
And I've grown to realize
Every fleeting moment is as valuable as the last
Time can't be reversed
So the answers aren't in memory
Rather, in the road ahead
They're down the broken pavement
Places waiting to be seen
And the future that I see
Belongs to you and me
I was reaching for your hand
Now I'm taking it in full
Chasing all the dreams
That we gave up on long ago