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Maverick Feb 2018
I look at the vacant spot
Where your car was parked
For forty five minutes
And wonder
When the lies overlapped
The truth.

You reluctantly left
The night we first kissed
Then two weeks later
You willingly disappeared
Answering my doubts
With silence.
Maverick Feb 2018
Our new car smell wore off
So you put my love up for sale
And sold me
To the lowest bidder.
Maverick Feb 2018
It’s the disappointing feeling you get
When a phenomenal movie is over
Or hearing a song you relate to
And realize it’s about to end
You know you can always play them again
But nothing will ever compare to the first time.
Maverick Feb 2018
If you were jewelry
You would be
A mood ring;
Pretty to look at
But hard to read.
Now you’re just a conversation piece.
Maverick Feb 2018
I was content
With your lack
Of emotional depth
Anti conversationalist
I spent three weeks
In my head
Contemplating
Moving on
Or
Letting you in
Because something inside me
Said you were just
Pulling my thread
Latched onto me
Like I was a host
Claimed I was amazing
Your heart was engrossed
But how many other girls
Did you say that to
Before you turned into a ghost?
You didn’t think I deserved a goodbye.
Maverick Feb 2018
I want to light 

My couch on fire

Because whenever I turn the corner

All I see is you 

Running your fingers

Through my hair

While I’m looking up 

Smiling

Then I blink

And you disappear.

I don’t keep 

My phone on me

Anymore

What’s the point?

Your name won’t show up

And everyone else is white noise

Compared to your bass

That revived the butterflies 

Making them dance in

What now is a vacant space.

I’m thinking 

If I keep myself busy

Maybe my heartbreak 
won’t catch up to me

But this day will end

I’ll run out of breath

The pinnacle of my anxiety

Crushes me like a train

For now my nightmare is living

A sunset without you again.
Aftermath
Maverick Feb 2018
A cheesy pickup line
Grand parade of flattery
You’re first in line
Cute
Funny
Surprise, I’m here
I can’t stay long

How many kisses?
I lost count

Sweets
You’re too good for me
I’m glad you’re in my life
You make me happy
I’m not seeing anyone else
It’s not possible for me to stop liking you
I’m just really busy*

All of the things you said and did
Run around my head
Like a haunted carousel
I’m reluctant to ride again.
I mute my heartbreak by reminiscing
In betweens of our beginning and end.

Then I think

You couldn’t remember the color of my eyes,
Even if you were staring right at them.
I remember every smile you cracked,
And the way your half naked body danced.
Saving a list of your favorite things,
Should I ever forget.

(I never did.)

My thief in broad daylight,
How I adored your lies.
Your someone new
Was the reason you stopped making time,
And I wasn’t worth a poem
Or an apology,
Much less a goodbye.

So, this is mine.
Don’t start what you can’t finish.
Maverick Feb 2018
My feelings start and end
Like a dead engine
That’s been brought back to life again
I can make excuses for the mistakes
Attached to my name
But what good would it do
If I don’t fix them
Until your lips turn blue?
Maverick Mar 2018
You left
I settled for
A one night stand
To inject novacaine
Into my broken heart
Instead
I was sedated
Against my will
While the parts of me
You loved
Were taken advantage of
And while she slept
The only thought
Running through
My drunken head
Was that
You were only
A block away
And I wished
You could feel
My pain
Like a beckoning call
To be my saving grace
Before I became something
I now hate.
She robbed me of the good, and left me to sort out the bad.
Maverick Mar 2018
Playing Russian roulette
With my playlist
Waiting for a song
That triggers
Memories of you
And kills
My temporary bliss.
Maverick Mar 2018
A closed door with a goodbye
Is easier to accept
Than
One abruptly slamming
In your face.
Maverick Feb 2018
The smell of your cancer
Lingers in my hair
Shaved it off
So maybe someday
I can feel
Your fingers
Despair.
Maverick Feb 2018
Narcissism isn’t a crime
But if it were
I would sentence you
To life
In a room
With no mirrors.
Maverick Mar 2018
I was in the home stretch
Of the worst heart break 5k
I’ve faced since last May
Was tired of putting bandaids
Over scars from old stitches
Left by a few witches
That flew away as fast as they came
I don’t know what possessed me
To speak first
Maybe it was a side effect
From all of Cupid’s grazed arrows
Flying freely like sparrows
Only to miss their mark
Leaving me with a thirst
To conquer love once and for all
In short
You congest my brain
The way a rainbow stalls a dreary day
And resurrected the good parts of me
I sent to an early grave
A beacon on a stormy night
The sigh of relief
when you get a question right
You make me feel like a kid
On Christmas morning
That just received
Everything they were hoping
I’d gladly go through Hell again
If it meant in the end
I get to hold your hand.
Maverick Feb 2018
The old man
With a handlebar mustache
And pipe in his hand
Has asked me
How I’ve been
Every day
Since your absence.

Too chipper to be Death
Too rugged for Hope
He mentions
The pain in my eyes
Lessens each week
And offers a ****
To help me cope.

I explain,

“It’s not the thought of her
That brings me sorrow
But knowing that tomorrow
I’ll be one step closer
To forgetting her laugh
Or how she felt
In my hands.”

He casually says back,

“I don’t think it’s fair
For your heart
On the mend
To relive a love
Abandoned
When she left
With the wind.”

Same time tomorrow
Old friend.
We’ll discuss this again, until I feel nothing.
Maverick Mar 2018
You’ve been gone
Longer than you stayed
The ticking of a clock
Echoing the sound
Of my heart break
Said you’d never leave
You were gone the next day
Told me I made you happy
But something made you run away
An unsolved mystery
You’ll take to your unmarked grave.
Maverick Feb 2018
The worst lies
Ever told
Are those
We drill
Into
Our souls
Of a love
Mistakenly
Gone cold.
Maverick Feb 2018
It’s been over a week
Since you left
And when my friends ask
How I’ve been
I say
Like a splinter
Leaving my hand.

Though it’s gone
The soreness lingers on.
Maverick Feb 2018
We were caught
In a torrential downpour
Running for cover
I bolted for the door
When you finally appeared
I turned to my left
To see you standing there
Clothes drenched
Hand running through
Your short blond hair
Water rolling down your neck
And all I wanted
Was to kiss
The Cheshire grin
Spread mile wide
Right off your lips.
Missed opportunity
Maverick Feb 2018
I pick up the phone,
It’s not your name.
I answer the door,
It’s not your face.
I meet someone new,
It isn’t you.
Maverick Feb 2018
Shoes leave footprints.
Fingerprints leave marks.
Both of yours
Are all over
My heart.
Maverick Feb 2018
Your name lingers on my mind
Like the damage done by a hurricane
And I think maybe if I use an understudy
To replace the feelings I harbored
You’ll dissipate into the sea
Instead of projecting ghosts
That do nothing but haunt me
There must be an end
To this desolate labyrinth
Where I meet you at the beginning
And start over again.
Maverick Feb 2018
Emeralds in your eyes
Are now a dying Gatsby light
My heart knew no boundaries
Until you left
Now I’m staring at
Your white picket fence
Outside looking in
Unwelcome to the family
You created on a whim.
There’s nothing different
I could have done
To make you mine
Your words change
Like a ticking clock
And your muted actions
Feel like falling
Face first on rocks
This is not
The end for me
I’ll find love greater than
Your guilted misery
And I will try
To let these feelings die
Without playing I spy
A liar in disguise.
Maverick Feb 2018
The thought never crossed my mind
That one day
I might not see you again
That I wouldn’t hear you
Lovingly say my name
Or feel your hand in mine
Suddenly
Like an eroding beach
You disappeared
Your voice an echo
Ringing through my ears
The lack of your presence
Present when I wake
No “good morning“
Or “Sweet dreams“
Just a hollow piece of my soul
Lingering by the door.
Maverick Feb 2018
You were my umbrella.
Then you sided with the rain.
Maverick Feb 2018
Tell me to count to the number
Of days since you’ve been gone
A game of hide and seek
You will always win
Because you’re never
Coming back again.
Maverick Feb 2018
How quick
The damaged girl
Moves On
Without hesitation
Or consideration
For fear
Of being figured out
Leaving behind
A box full of
Broken new toys.
I’m just another casualty in your game of love.
Maverick Feb 2018
Stop.
Go.
Red light.
Green light.
I love you.
I don’t know.
My cautious behavior was justified when you left.
Maverick Feb 2018
I no longer have the luxury
To hold you tight
So I’ll slow dance with you
Late at night
When my head and heart
Fight
To preserve the good parts
You left behind.
They outweighed the bad, and you know it.
Maverick Feb 2018
Seafoam green
Pierced my amber
Like blood in the ocean
Sharks start to gather
My lungs are the boat
Your lies are the water
Mind paralyzed by a fear
This heart can’t weather
Hope kept us afloat
But your false reassurances
Are an anchor
I refuse to tote.
Maverick Feb 2018
Once upon a time
I fell in love with a girl
Who wormed her way
Into my heart
And like a cancer
She spread
Suffocating me
With her hidden agenda
Only to fail in her endeavors
While I was left
To pick up the pieces
She was destined
For a fate much worse
For one day
When she least expects it
Regret and guilt
Will consume her whole.
Your cheating heart.

— The End —