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Hollow Dec 2014
Twas yesterday left
And today it was sound
I seek home to rest
And it's here I'll be found

No longer just one
But of many I am
Many who stay here
Who call me their fam
Hollow Jul 2014
August

One foot forward, I said
And she listened, gingerly taking her first step
I held onto her shoulders as she marched
Forward unto revival

You'll be back in no time
Were the last words I spoke to her
And upon her farewell
I wept tears of hope
And loss

- *
September -

I remember hearing car doors close shut
On the days where I sat
Atop my window sill
And I would peak out
From behind my curtains
With wishful thinking

And I remember the sting of pain
When it was someone else
So I would let the curtains close
Like the end of so many
Epic plays
And the audience would not applaud

-
October -

I made a little girl cry
On Halloween
I sat in wait
Forgetting the significance
Of costumes
And sugary give outs
Remembering only the taste
Of something much sweeter
But it had been months

The knock on the door
Was like the beating in my chest
And I sprang up in some
Newfound excited hopefulness
But I had let myself down
And the little girl at my door
Dressed like a dinosaur
Was no match for the beast
Inside of myself

GO HOME!
They all heard me
Parents and antsy children alike
Who walked by in search of joy
And the stares were unbearable
The little girl who cried
Never saw that my eyes matched hers
As she fled into the night

I sat with my back against the door
And cried until the waves of exhaustion
Took me away

-
November -

Only the night would get me
Out of bed
Many times I found myself walking
Along some unfamiliar road
Winding through darkness
Like the twists and turns in my mind

Sometimes I ran
Like I was being chased
And the cool air of the night
Would fill my lungs
And when I was tired
I continued running

Emotions had been all but drained
And the feeling of loss
Was replaced with
Emptiness
Nothing
Void
0

But somewhere
Pressed underneath folds of carelessness
Was an inkling of hope
A spark of optimism
That kept me alive

-
December -

I remember the funeral
Where along with my only love
Was buried my soul
My spirit
And my heart

I was asked to speak of her
And her family bade me luck

When all was silent
And the ears
Longing for closure
Were tuned to my presence
I opened my mouth
And said nothing

No one had noticed the blood
Dripping from my wrists
But they all saw
Abigail's collapse

My head swung forward
Smashing into the podium
I remember being sideways
As blurs rose to block out
What little visions remained

And then I asked one thing
In my stupor

Is she better now?

-
January* -

The two who gave me life
Made me stay inside my room
Because I tried to take what was mine

I would sit atop my window sill
Knees pulled tightly to my chest
And I would stare outside
Watching for the red hair
Waiting for the car to pull up
And her to get out and stretch her legs

She would look up and see me
Her eyes would tear, and she would
Run inside to me

I would kiss her and never let her go
But instead, it's all the same
People come and go
Friends visit
Seasons change
And the world moves on without her
Without me
Rest in peace my love.
Hollow Jul 2014
I am French and Coloradonian.
I strongly dislike the color orange. Purple is better.
I love vanilla ice cream.
I don't like chocolate flavored anything. It tastes weird to me.
I haven't watched TV in nearly five years.
I haven't gone a day without music.
I am married to my guitar. Her name is Nora.
My best friend is Monty the Dog. He is a dog.
I am attracted to women.
I am a ****** to men.
I think red heads are ******* hot.
I like the number 50.
Facebook is evil. The NSA watches you.
I used ****** for six months.
I snorted ******* for a few months as well.
I smoke *** currently.
I smoke cigarettes currently.
If I had to give up everything, and could only keep one thing...
...I'd keep coffee.
I love Coffee.
My sister Chelsea tried to **** me. *****.
I am random, and can't keep on one subject for too long.
Ooh! Shiny things!
Poetry has kept me on this road for years.
I once wrote a song about pizza. It's probably my best song.
I don't like pizza.
I used to have long hair, but it tried to strangle me in my sleep, so I killed it.
For some stupid reason, my mother named me Abigail Hollow.
(last name excluded)
Why would she do that? I don't know.
I still have a razor flip phone. All the rage, years ago.
I haven't slept on a bed in four years.
I order McDonalds food for Monty the Dog. He's the only one who eats it...
The only girl I ever truly loved died of cancer.
My mom wants me to come home.
I don't believe in God, but I love everybody just the same.
Except Steve Buscemi. He scares me.
What do you think of me so far, my lovely fellow poets?
Hollow May 2015
Kissed her here, kissed her there...
...Kissed that girl everywhere
Hollow Jun 2014
I hated high school
And the image of popularity
What a waste of dear time
Pretending to be perfect
It takes far too long

I would rather be flawed
Dangerous
Unpredictable
Rugged and ****

I never liked the 'perfect girl'
I liked the girl with the cigarette and leather jacket
And the shorter hair
Who looked at me and winked
And agreed to skip school for coffee and ***
Who cares if we just met?

I admire the free girls
But unfortunately, common parents
Will scream when they hear
Their daughter likes gauges
Or tongue piercings
Because magazines will make you believe
You have to be pink and tiny to be ****

Poor brainwashed mothers and fathers
They expect
Expressive reform
And a staunch to true personality

Sacrificing yourself for the pleasure of others
Is the surest way to confirm your existence
As nothing more than a name and face
Imprisoned under false authoritative rule
Why not escape from this place
Where beauty is structured
Fold
Into yourself
Where beauty is a matter of expression
Hollow Aug 2014
People become...
...and that's it
There is nothing less complicated
Than understanding this
Or rather, accepting it

There is no below or above
There is only the middle ground
From where first thought is cast
But not set in permanence

There was never a bronze lining
Nor was there a gold one
Just a dull silver
From where we all begin to become

Life cannot be measured
Because the past doesn't exist
And the future is now
Hollow Jul 2014
It was silent as Chelsea crept into the room
There I lay, nestled to sleep with a teddy bear
The moonlight on my back, soothing light
She awoke me violently, shaking me ashen
And my eyes widened in terror at her face

It didn't take long for her to find something
A tool to suit the job, my punishment
I was a bad sister, always was I wrong
So she found a pair of shoes, my shoes
And I braced for the nightly beating

But Chelsea had something else in mind
As she removed the lace from one of them
She gripped an end in each hand, staring
And she moved on top of me, saying;
"I hate you, stupid attention *****"

She placed the string over my throat
And she pressed down very hard, frowning
I felt my airway constrict, and I struggled
She put her knees on my elbows in anger
And my begging made her push harder

As I began to see gray, I remember a tear
But not the many that I released, I know
Because I felt it patter onto my dying face
And I sputtered and arched my back, hoping
And Chelsea only pressed harder, murderous

As I drifted out of consciousness, I heard
My brothers voice, sweet brother Damien
And he slapped Chelsea and pulled her off
As I curled up and breathed delicious air
And he caressed my face, and hugged me

That night acted as a catalyst for hatred
And within myself I bred a monster
But I suppose I cannot give credit for
My mistakes, to the true genesis of pain
I just haven't found anything else to blame
Myself?
_______
_______
Hollow Jun 2014
There would be no harsh words spoken
Because I wouldn't have the mind to start
Because if my brain got broken
I wouldn't have to think about my heart

Fragile comes in scarlet
Hollow Jul 2014
What happens when
All these little lights inside me
All the little dreams and thoughts
And worries and memories
Are turned off?

Where do they go?
Does a divine entity
Look upon them and pass
Ultimate judgment?
And would my mistakes
Be seen?

Can the broken go to heaven?
Can the unseen wonders
Of a dying soul
Be seen by
The eyes of discipline?
Or are mistakes worth
Too much to look past?

Can liars go to heaven?
Because God knows
I have lied before
Can thieves go to heaven?
For many things
Have I misappropriated
During the course of my
Impure life

Is it too much to ask
A little forgiveness
And if you're not there to answer
Then, who am I talking to?
Who do I tell
When I am ready?
I am not ready.
Hollow Sep 2014
Where are the outreaching hands today
Where are the smiling faces
Where are the steady feet and the bright eyes

I dream to dream today
I dare to believe in happiness
I will sing today, one note higher
I will touch hearts and mold memories to be thankful for

Where are the kind words
Where lie the poems of beauty and nature, nurture and soul

I promise light today
A sliver of hope across a sea of dreary stillness
Today, I draw a new breath, fill my lungs with joyful whispers

And your ears are the target

I love you all
Hollow Jul 2014
The words still ring with an ethereal hum
"I'm proud of the woman that you have become"

Home?

The wandering waters of unknowing
Have been forced ashore
By the tides of acceptance

And I am happy oblige
For too long have I drifted
Upon the endless non existence
Of emptiness

Home

The word seems unfamiliar to me
But with the foreignism
Comes arrows of hope
That pierce the stark pessimistic thoughts

HOME

I will sing this word from every angle of my world
Every misdirected pathway
Every crayon scribbled corner that I know

From the bottom of my gut
And the top of my heart
I can say
Home
And smile with the thought

I am forgiven
And I forgive

Forgetting comes later
It never hurts to be loved once in a while.
Hollow Aug 2014
Everywhere I let my eyes wander
All the faces I dare to glance upon
They're all the same

It's all water
Placid as glass
Every detail coagulates
Into one blank page
A diary of lost souls

I feel pulled under
By the cascading heights
Of my insecurities
Constantly wondering;
Does anyone else see this?

If the world is invisible to us all
Where do we aim our eyes:
*To the clouds?
Hollow Jul 2014
Idle
The minutes tick by
Wasting away
And I watch, unfazed
As time decays before me

This is just me
Rooted in deep thought
Seeking whatever was lost
Reaching out
Searching in vain
And the futility
Drains my spirit

The shells
The former casings
Have all but been erased
Cast out
Of existence
Because I have
"Moved on"

Is this a game?
If it is
Then so many pieces
Have gone missing
Thrown away
Lost in the fissures
Of a broken soul

All the little holes
All the shadows
Love the taste of hope
So they eat it right up
Nothing left

When you fall behind
Time dies
Because time,
Once seen as an option
To make things better...
...becomes the monster you must
Defeat

Happiness becomes
A trivial pursuit
In the wake of immobility
Forward is forgotten

These reflections
On emptiness
Come from a warped heart
And a wounded mind
And a tongue that has tasted
Self imprisonment
But
More importantly
The hands that broke *free
Hollow Jun 2014
It's been four and a half years since I took my dog, and left the rainy little state of Washington. At seventeen, you never expected me to make a life for myself. I was just your incomplete daughter, whose name you cringed saying. I shouldn't like girls and I shouldn't smoke ***. Music is only a dream and poetry is no real goal. Abigail. You gave me a beautiful name, one I used to cherish. On my birthday, when you (in your drunken stupor) sat me down, over a bottle of wine, I never thought animosity would come from your heart.

I was never empty before, under the misconception of love. You called me hollow, and that word can never be retaken. So I have taken that name, and with it I will pave my own existence.

I am Hollow, nothing else, nothing more.

I am a shell, void of life, lost in the sands.

I can't settle down, because I am cursed to emptiness.

Who wants me?

After all, I am *Hollow.
Hollow Mar 2014
Eyes like water
Dripping with sadness
Silence

Hands are hotter
Gripping with madness
Violence
Hollow May 2015
I left my hand print
On a glass door this morning
And thought nothing of it

Just like your mom smoked crack
Like nothing of it
Or your dad walked out
To avoid the fiscal cliff
Of raising you

I left a hand print
Thinking nothing of Jared
The window wiper
Who makes half as much as I do
With twice as much
To lose

My existence to him
Is the effort he takes to hunch
And clean up my disrespect

Jared is seventy two
And has back problems
From "The War"
His wife is dying of cancer
And he stays late
To wipe away
My inconvenience

Jared will never know my name
I will never know Jared's name

Jared will never understand
Why some people
Can't just use the **** handle

I will never understand
How my daily actions effect everyone
Thinking nothing of it

Jared will work late
I will leave hand prints

But someday

I will wear shoes
Similar to Jared's
Hollow Jul 2014
Release your soul to the sky above

Hither
Haste
Hither
Haste

The snake in the grass eats the silver lined dove

Slither
Waste
Slither
*Waste
Maybe someone can help me explain this...
I saw this in a dream, a clouded city in the sky.
Below, a silver dove was being eaten by a snake.
What does this mean?
Hollow Jul 2014
As they swirled above the clouds
Twisting in and out of existence
Heart fluttered, such as the wings of
Butterflies in my belly

The girl in the tree
Witnessed not what I did
As she called out my name
Voice of reason, guide me

Look, up here!

And the ladder I climbed to sanctuary
Was of oak and sap
Sticky with unknowing
And her hand touched mine
But her face was unseen

The dragons
Above, with jade scale and ivory claw
Swirled in the dance of
My eternal struggle
For knowledge

Enraptured
Captured, but not owned
Are these visions

The clouds darkened as my hand slipped
And I fell backwards
Seeing her dark hair
But her face was
Not there

And the wind picked up the new rain
Fresh, like the blood of dragons
In an epic twist of death
And poured it into my eyes

And though I slept soundly
Silence was always there
I am going to begin writing my dreams as poems. Perhaps this will give me a better understanding of how my mind travels through the winding streets of uncertainty.
Hollow Jul 2014
I felt her presence,
hovering over my grave like a mothers last prayers
Like a fathers burning sorrows after thirty years drunk
Alone she stood, framed against the soft blowing trees,
and the dancing wildflowers that were placed as an ode to the dead
She held orange petals to herself,
close to her chest, as if to let them hear a heartbeat,
but the ear of a flower only picks up meaningful noises,
not the slow tempo of a withered muscle,
overworked from exhaustion

She wore black, knee high leather boots,
and a matching jacket
Her hair was wild, and she looked *****
She smelled of ***** and no showers,
cigarettes and sweat and blood
She looked of regret,
and her eyes sang tunes of pessimism
Anxiously she removed the bright flowers from her *****
Poppies, by the look of it
She presented them to the face of my headstone,
cracked and eroded with age, my name barely recognizable
Left with nothing, her fingers went to her short blonde hair,
matted and encrusted with dirt
She ran her hands nervously throughout, eyes constantly distracted

Suddenly, she focused ******* the headstone
A tear fell from her eye, and I watched it soak into the concrete
Her lips moved in familiar shapes, but words were lost to me
Every word
But one
A name

Abigail

And she turned away, walking crookedly into the wind and rain
And though I know she was talking to me,
I could feel the name on her lips, see it in her eyes
She scratched the insides of her arms as she disappeared from sight,
and I felt a longing in my own

"I walked away from myself that day. I gave it all up for hope. I guess this just goes to show what it's worth. Maybe I'll understand it one day, but for now, I am dead to everyone including myself."

Abigail Hollow
Jan 1992 - Aug 2008
A loving daughter, sister and poet.
This dream needs no interpretation, and at first I didn't want to share this, but I know I have to. It's for me, this poem.
Hollow Aug 2014
This is no more than
My end

I cannot quite recall
The last time I held a pen
In sober fingers
The turbulence of sorrow infested fire water
Does wonders for the too-stable mind

I spill my entrails to you all
In the shape of my past and present
Because these drunken hands can no longer put the puzzle of the future together
It's a mind game
But I have every corner piece
Just a little hollow inside

Sobriety only brings fourth critical analysis
It takes a stumble and a smile to be a poet
To understand
So let's get drunk together
Wether it's the words that captivate you
Or the numb nostalgia of
1   2   many
I've had enough...
...I think.
Hollow Jun 2014
*** after drinks?
I picture it often

You are very pretty...

It's different with a woman
Much better, I think

Your skin is much softer

It's my tongue
Creeping along somewhere
Over plains of smooth flesh

It's the shiver down my spine
When you touch me* there
Darling, I expect pleasure

And oh, do you deliver
But do you not hunger
As well?

Let me explore your body
Erase innocence
Sin is best served with wine

But I never believed
*In books and such, anyway
Why should a god tell me whether or not I am heaven bound, especially based on my ****** desires? Heaven is a mindset. I created my own.
Hollow Jun 2014
I met a girl
With a heart to change the world
And a lovely smile

She had a soul
Like cold midnight breezes
And lonely walks

She had eyes
Like grass dancing in the wind
And poison kisses

She had hair
Like a warm fireplace burning
And sunsets

Her mind
Like a hurricane of imagination
And confusion

But she left
Disappeared into herself one day
Forgot me

And I wait
For another void to be filled
In silence
Hollow Jun 2014
So bold in fields of cotton
Clad in trousers of a poor man
It's those times
Fire on his back
Hands callused with toil

He bends like a bow
Pulled tight across the horizon
The sun sets low
No dinner tonight

Hunger the diamond motive
Freedom the faintest dream
Awareness frightens him

Hope beaten out
Long ago
I got these scars
But they still burn

Marks to wear until death
Take me soon
Buried

*Freedom came at that price
Segregation and slavery are horrible things. It sickens me to believe this was a custom.
Hollow Jul 2015
I bet I could stretch
Like you've never seen before
With the crook of my finger
And a wink, let the games begin

You want to struggle
My little **** toy?

Ah ah ah, let's tie these hands
Behind your back
Don't get any ideas
Pet

Obey me, lie on your belly
Crush your head into the pillow
Cringe and squirm, please
Let me just, strap this on

Not listening, hm?
I have other things
Leather, that will leave marks
On your tender, innocent flesh

Let my fingers coil
Make it harder to breathe
Force you down
By a pull of your hair

I'm going to be an animal
And you will be the prey
I will feast on you
I will nibble you

Bite you into submission
Pinch and squeeze
Smack and tease
Say please

I will go on
Long after you thought
To say no, until
All you want is

More, more, more
I will chew through you
I will dominate you

I dare you to struggle
My little **** toy
Hollow May 2015
Self proclaimed
Perfect perception
Pedantic hands
Mary Meticulous
Sally scrupulous
Insipid ideals

Foolish followings
Deep narcissism
Shallow words
Broken pedestal
Fake smile
Forced laugh

Misery's finest
Sentenced silence
Weak eyelids
Mind violence
Red iris
Scribbled papyrus

Fleeting joy
Hollow Aug 2014
Tears descend unto fissured marble, pattering not unlike the autumn rains
Plaintive sighs whispered into the silence of tragedy
Wind ices my reddened face as I stand six feet above your embrace, longing
There is only a burning emptiness as I wrap myself in scarred arms
Turning away, I remind myself that it only gets colder after fall
Grey skies cajole a downpour as I flee to a broken home
Her
Hollow Dec 2014
Her
I became rich
With fortune found beneath
A warm kiss drip dropping
Onto my cold breast
I found the one.
Hollow Oct 2014
He withered away slowly
Folded in, let go and relaxed
As time began to play tricks on his body

They say he used to tell stories
The old man
Stories of magic and sunshine showers and warm rain
Blue grass and white sand and endless oceans of flowers

They say something changed him

And whatever it was,
it began as something subtle at first
Nobody said a thing
Time passed &
his behaviors became stranger,
people murmured

He no longer yearned for his dreams
to come true,
becoming reclusive,
he rarely ventured outside anymore
to count the stars or
to sing rhymes,
play in the rain or
to catch butterflies
His taste for fine wine
disappeared altogether
like his pets

And if anybody knew
the pain he held inside,
they would have traded
their own world for his.

Sometimes you can see him
Sitting alone amidst the crowds
His eyes open, but not seeing
Lost, they say
Or perhaps, misunderstood
His hands fold gently across knees that once held children
In all their excitement for a new tale
His shoulders, once proud, carrying the air of glory
Now slump under the weight of
Something heavier than sadness

He's only a shell of who he once was
His lips no longer speak
of kindness nor gentleness,
there is something deeper,
a madness of sorts,
something burning,
hellfire flickers behind black irises
Some say he lives on the fringes,
survives on his broken heart,
could become unhinged at any moment
Keeping their distance,
nobody has the courage to ask,
they just go about their business,
as if his life doesn't matter

If there is a horizon to depression
Certainly, he has found it
The void extended an icy grip
Sealing him cold and bitter
He is entwined within a mess of his haunted past
Who will ask?
An eidolon stalks him
Begging to be released from sealed lips
Stamped together like a letter, never to be opened
Spoken of
Silence is laid across him like a blanket of despair

Cares of a better life
he discarded early,
the hands of the ones he loved
strangled all hope,
his bitterness lay silent,
crushing spirit
creating a hatred deep within
his heart,
so strong was this,
not love,
not a million kisses,
endless affection
could fix it,
he was too far gone.
Written in collaboration with the talented Jonny Angel.
Hollow Aug 2014
All the signs
The green ones that tell me the current interstate
And the ones that tell me
Which city I'm in
All the signs that point me in the right direction
And I think:
"Huh"
"This whole time, I followed my heart...
...and not the signs that meant the most"

And for that reason I felt lost

Home is not where the heart is friends
Home is where you built your life
Whether good or bad
And I have seen it this way
To this day
And forever will I

I know where I belong
Hollow Jun 2014
Coursing through my veins
As my back
Arches in pleasured convulsion

My eyes shut tight
Lips pursed
Fists clenched

Pure ecstasy
In the form of a body
Pressed tightly to mine

Curled in the sheets
The room dark
Inviting us

I feel it
Hollow Oct 2014
Love quick
Love pure
Heart is sick
Can you cure?
Hollow Jul 2015
Zoning in
Zoning out
Spacing into
Instinctual altruism
A divided reality
Obliging my death storm cemetery
This ritual madness; so intriguing
It leaves personality to the grasp of ambiguity
Immaterial realm of the fourth scenes unseen
While docile, poisoned by this vial of vile mistrials
I remain a ghost
Unseen
Mirroring black
Shadowed like a ****** mess
Stop this caress
Fading in
Fading out.
Unseen Realm
Hollow Jun 2014
Your mouth
Like a spigot, turning
To drain me of discomfort

I scream
Brought to ecstasy
By your passionate love

Oh to lay
Nestled to sleep
By the calm of your touch

I dream
Of nothing more
Than embracing for eternity
Hollow Sep 2014
I often think of
People like me who wander
Through their broken homes

Trapped inside stained walls
Unable to run away
Do they feel the same?

Am I so lucky?
Able to escape my fate
Did I pay a price?

Nothing did I gain
Only dust and ash remain
I am numb to pain

I could cry about
Insecurity and doubt
I could go without

Just a faint whisper
Just a shadow in the dark
Hollow is my name
Hollow Jul 2014
...that I am afraid to fall in love because...
...the past never dies.
Hollow Jul 2014
To properly show you my journeys
I would have to take you back
Hop into my little car
And spin the wheels of time

My life is like a glass globe
That rolls fast along a concrete floor
All the bumps and rocks
Crack the states and memories
And I sleep with both eyes broken

All these things I've seen
Faces
And voices stuck deep within the
Winding, twisting caverns of my head
They parch my throat
And to quench this thirst
Rest?

Let me bend to you
One whisper
So that you may breathe
Similar breaths of knowing
And then...

...then you can tell me
"Keep going"
And you might realize
*She just needs to stop
Hollow Jul 2014
Ephemeral light
Transience, transgressing flaws
Of eternity
Hollow Aug 2014
Whisper unto me
Words of wisdom come to be
*Use the sun to see
Hollow Jun 2014
My body is the sand
The water is your hands
Gently washing over me

Tides of pleasure pour over
Smooth skin
My soft curves

Do not stop
Trace your fingers through me
Mold me into your castle

Take me
Scoop me into your hands


*I yearn for this ******
Hollow Aug 2014
Eat my soul
Reap it so
Defeat my whole
Reap and sow

Weave me
Thread me into you
Sew us together
Tear us apart

Love my eyes
Look away
Love my cries
Crooked sway

Wander wide
And stay far
The distance kills
Dangerously close

Nonexistence
No resistance
Lost by guidance
You point; a trident

Three separate paths
All lead to you
Cannot stay away
What to do

Hate
In the loveliest form
Fate
Cold and warm

I am trapped
Caged in you
Emotions tapped
Painted blue
Hollow Aug 2014
I smiled as she looked into my eyes
Accepting, expecting
She wondered just what I had in mind
And I gave a devilish grin
I kissed her neck, down her torso
Ran my fingers down the length
Of her sides
Until they met her thighs
I ducked my head
Kissed her navel
Looked up once more
To see her face
Her closed eyes behind tangled red hair
Her mouth slightly open
Allowing only shudders of breaths to escape
And I dipped
To meet my lips
To her lips
I felt a longing
In the warmth of her thighs
Tasted her sweetness
As my feet brushed against
An empty bottle
...
Hollow Jun 2014
Cut me again
Serrated incision
Sever my vein
A bladed decision
Hollow Sep 2014
Come repaired
Only to be taken apart again
This house is no longer
A home for you

You there, rusting away
Atop a dusty window sill
Looking out through broken glass
At Memory lane

There is no medicine for your pain
No pill to take this time
You will not sleep here
You will not dream here

You will breathe here
Inhale the bitter past
You will walk barefoot
Through these solemn halls

You will cut your hands
On sharp words that still linger
On the ancient air
Toxicity

See these colors and remember
The paint tells a different story
Rotten wood drives you insane
Welcome back to termite hindsight

This place is no longer a home
A cemetery rests here
Ghosts live here now
You don't belong here
Hollow Jul 2014
Do you smell that? The rich, smooth aroma in the air?
An omniscient amalgamation of flavorful anomalies
Ooh, I like it! What could it be? I haven't the slightest...
A persistent, wayward poet writes lonely words in the night
You mean like...? Oh dear me, shall I check the time?
Do you remember our last nightly adventure?
How could I forget? We must check the time! Quickly now!
Alas, our worst fears have thus been confirmed
A midnight poet, the most unpredictable form of writing...
Do you suppose the poor soul has had any coffee?
Well, I should hope so! What ever shall we do?
Naught. We let the pen run it's course, and in time...
But the destruction... think of the mayhem, woman!!!
Leave the poor thing, it's already a shame it's awake
No! Lay your weary head down, fellow poet, and rest...
Hollow, the best ideas remain trapped in mind during consciousness
Hogwash. I will not be hornswoggled with temptation
Though, I am correct to assume that you understand my reasoning?
Night-Write are the right-writes, yada yada yada...
So you agree then, do you not?
Well, of course! However, a midnight poet should never be left unattended!
Then we will write in the morning
Then so be it
Are you coming?
Go to sleep
Who are you talking to, Hollow?
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Hollow Jul 2014
Miles and
Miles and miles
Constant fake smiles
And so much small talk
When there's big talk to be had

Tired feet and sore driving hands
Hundreds of dollars on coffee
****, where are my smokes?
Lost under the seat
Most likely

Monty
In the car please
Need to leave this place
Moving on to the next state
Both geographically, and of mind

Leave these faded memories behind
And move on to the new chapter
Of my life's extremely cheap
And poorly constructed
Scrapbook

Map out
New territories
And fresh beginnings
To feel like I'm productive
Because normally, I sit in silence

I wonder what people with lives do
From one day to the next
Do they have fun with
Staying constant?
Stable?
Hollow Jun 2014
This is dreaming and I know it is
Brushing against the hips of acceptance
I want to be a part of the family again
You can't sway my opinions at all

Why pretend to be afraid of me anyway
I guess bringing it up is a serious faux pas
You never want to talk about it anymore
Not since you let me go because of it

You just want to know if I have a job yet
Or some other insipid parental concerns
Am I going to settle down somewhere
Do I have someone who can help me

Is Monty the Dog eating Greenies
And am I taking my anxiety pills
Truth is, I was thinking about those
Taking them all at once the other day

I doubt that would have helped anxiety
But it would have gotten rid of the pain
Of being branded a pariah by nature
Can I please be your daughter again
Hollow Jun 2014
Oh hither come ye
Far across withered hill
Through tumbling winds
To see an opal eyed Goddess

Will your voice meet a deaf slate of ignorance
Or taste eager ear and open heart
Nary a whisper
Of regret

Tender
In gaze and motion
A slave to this intense feeling
You are here to satisfy my hunger, no?
Hollow Aug 2014
I hope that it hurts
When I spill my guts to you
At least I still feel
Hollow Mar 2014
Maybe I will fly
Falling from
An angels doorstep
If only
Angels would let me in
So I must learn to
Spread these wings

But are they real...
...or a child's paper and glue
Creation?
To burn in the sun
Hollow May 2015
If her hair was like seaweed
Pulling me into those surfing blue eyes
I would forever have sailed
Upon the waves of her sadness,
Dripping tears into her
Lonely waters

She spoke to me like
A mother speaks to her baby
Soft, sweet and gentle
A pillow of kisses and compliments
Smiling

I was her lover
We had found a pretty paradise
Anchored and secure arm in arm
Rich in happiness
Hand in hand
Dancing in the rain

Just as simply as
We mistook temporary as forever
The power of loss spread it's
Feared wings
For distance accompanies all
Reconciliation

Ah, but to dwell within a hell
Self created shell of hindsight
Even harder to
Move forward from the
Comfortable bed
The silent room
The touch-less relapse
Of memory addiction

The daydream fix
Of a what-if ******
The foot planted firm
Atop excuses
Atop excuses
Atop good excuses

Eventually, get over it
Becomes a favorite phrase
As I grow bitter
Suppressed
Full of emotional
Pressure

And now
I wait for something to come
No contingency plan
For the most lazy cause of action
Just dizziness
Windowpanes to reflect my futile
searching eyes
Rain, to pitter patter a lost voice
away
And a dreamy nap

May I stay here
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