I want to be friends with everyone.
Is that selfish of me?

Why yes, it certainly is.
You're a very selfish little girl.

I want everyone to like me.
Is that wrong of me?

It's human nature to want to be liked.
However, wanting everyone to like you is quite selfish.

I want everyone to be happy.
Is that bad?

For everyone to be happy, you'd have to remove their egos.
Do you really want to mess with everyone so they become lifeless?

No! Of course not.
I just want to be good.

You want friends.
You want to be cared about.

I do.
Is that so wrong of me to want?

Certainly.
You're an extremely selfish girl.

But, people say they like me.
Is that a problem?

It feels good, doesn't it?
You feel warm and tingly.

I want more friends.
I want to be wanted.

It's unfortunate none of your friends actually cherish you.
You know that, yes?

Shut up.
Be quiet.

You're selfish.
You only think of yourself.

That's not true!
Shut up!

You only want to feel good.
You don't care about anyone else.

PLEASE BE QUIET.
I DON'T WANT THIS NOISE.

*Why?
Aren't you the one saying these things, anyway?

You're like me.
We're one and the same.

You can be the moon, I'll be your sun.
When we eclipse we will rule this land.

Take my hand, let us become one.
We shall consume this universe.

Let us watch these puny humans from the stars.
Nobody will ever hurt us, or touch us again.

We have the power to mould this world into whatever we like.
A world with peace, and without filth.

Or maybe just devour the world.
And start it again, brand new.

Hand-in-hand, I find my strength.
My other half.

The Venus to my Mars.
The Eve to my Adam.

We can control these failures under our wrath.
Our reign shall last an eternity.

I will no longer let you be humiliated in a horrific reality.
Take my hand, let us ascend.

Another day in bed.
My pillow dry with tears.

You're waiting for another breakdown.
Another plea for help.

You crave me.
You want to corrupt my mind so that I will only be yours.

What hurts, even more, is how much it works.
How much I can't run away from you.

I could leave your apartment.
The door is so close.

Yet, after I cry you just shove your hands down my pants.
We get busy after that.

You make me weak.
You make me vulnerable.

You use me when I am out of strength.
To fulfil your selfish desires.

"Come here, I'll make you feel better."
My thighs are always bruised.

I expected long conversations underneath a sparkly sky.
I expected cuddles and reassurance that everything was alright.

What I got was a torn *****, bloodied bedsheets.
Bruised ankles and red eyes.

I never told you "No."
Because if I did, how would you react?

I didn't tell you this.
But I'm late.

It hasn't come in a month and I got worried.
I spit up blood more than twice a week.

How can I tell you?
You'll ask me to get rid of it.

Yet you keep pushing me.
My limits are breaking.

You're going to hurt them, stop thrusting.
It hurts.

Stop.

Some days, it's hard to get out of bed.
You wonder "Why bother."
Nobody loves you.
There are so many thoughts in your head.

But, what I'm about to say is true.
There's a whole world waiting for you.
You're needed whether you believe it or not.
Just hold on one more day.

You're gorgeous.
You're capable.

I may not even know your name.
But I can tell you, I've felt the same.
You feel as if you have no friends.
Except for the metal that runs across your skin.

I know that you're better than this.
You're worth more than this.
So pick yourself up off the ground.
You can begin again.

You're gorgeous.
You're capable.

You can believe in yourself.
Even when nobody else is there.
Because if you go.
My heart would shatter.

You are stronger than them.
Prove them wrong.
Rise up.
You are capable of this.

You're gorgeous.
You're capable.

I promise you this.

Wherever you are,
I'll always be by your side.
I'll always hear your voice.
I'll make sure you never will cry.

Wherever you are,
I'll love you unconditionally.
I promise you this.
Sealed with a kiss.

Wherever you are,
I'll make sure you're alright.
I'll always sing you lullabies.
I'll make sure you smile every night.

Wherever you are,
I'll carry your problems on my shoulders.
I'll always make you smile.
Especially when you walk down that aisle.

Wherever you are,
I'll never say goodbye.
I'll make sure you're safe.
I'll cuddle you all the time.

Wherever you are,
I'll make an oath.
To love you forever.
Our love will never sever.

Chocolate coloured eyes.
Mesmerise me every time.
Your cherry red lips.
Your moonlight glow.

Everything about you makes my heart swell.
It's twice as big.
I can feel it pound.
Every beat resonating.

Is this a teenage dream?
You make me so warm inside.
My face goes red.
And that's only when we talk.

Even though we're worlds apart.
I can feel you near me.
The sky we see is not the same.
But that's okay.

I can take a white rocket.
Go wherever you are.
The clouds and stars in the sky.
Are nothing compared to the beauty you are.

Every time you smile, a love song plays.
You do something crazy to me.
I try to hide what I feel.
But I can't whenever I'm with you.

I don't usually write poems.
Not for other people, at least.
But for you, I'll write these words.
My soul imprinted on your screen.

You mean so much to me.
Calling me something tame like "Cutie" kills me.
Do you not realise how much power you have?
You're the reason I wake up in the morning.

The seasons will change.
But my love will stay the same.
My feelings haven't lingered this long before.
So just read these words before I forget how to say them.

Photos beyond photos.
Pictures of my heart.
Exposing my insides.
Everything I live for.

You left me rose.

I take pictures and make sure to smile.
I'm popular, now.
Is it because you're not around?
It's colder without you.

It was stupid to fall for someone I can't have.
You don't like me like that, I know.
But I still can't let you go.
I water that rose, every single night.

Did I tell you? I got a boyfriend.
He's popular, and I don't really like him.
It's okay, I guess.
He likes my photos.

He plays with my hair and makes me smile.
He smiles in the photos I take.
Okay, so it might be good.
But I still miss you.

I don't know about the scandal between your parents.
Your personality.
I'm sorry you had to go through it all.
I would've helped if I could've.

My photos start to blur.
The rose is wilting.
This guilt is eating me up.
But my boyfriend is here, right?

Hey, today he hit me.
It hurt y'know!
If you were here you could've helped.
I'm sorry.

He started smoking.
I don't really like the smoke.
It's not good for the rose, either.
Still missing you.

He burnt my photos today.
I'm getting a bit scared.
But he loves me, it's okay.
The rose is looking better.

Where did you even get this rose?
Why did you give it to me?
Is it really important?
Thank you, I suppose.

He put his cigarette out on me.
I cried today.
He loves me.
Why is he hurting me?

He won't stop.
The rose is getting sicker.
No matter how much I water it.
Help me.

The rose looks like ash.
I'm not too much better, to be fair.
All my photos are gone.
I leave you these notes.

I stilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Everywhere I go.
I get foul looks.
Looks of pity.
None I care for.

"His parents..."
"He's gay?"
Yes.
Yes.

I sit at the television.
Flipping through channels.
The broadcasts.
The audience.

The bruises that mark my skin.
"******* loser."
"Not even going to fight back?"
Are a reminder of my trauma.

I'm friends with the colorbars on the television.
The red, yellow, green and blue.
The black, white and grey hues.
The static that seems to scream my name.

I am left with a single rose.
I don't know where it came from.
Or where it goes.
But it's my rose.

I can't take the beatings any longer.
I'm sorry to her, my best friend through this all.
I can't do this anymore.
I can't do anything.

I engrave my skin.
Line by line.
Until three deep strokes mark my wrist.
I feel dizzy but don't sleep.

She asks me where I've been.
I hide my wrists and smile at her.
She looks at the bruises on my face.
She angrily frowns.

I'm sorry to her, my best friend through it all.
It's just too hard.
I can't hold on.
So I leave you my rose.

The flower beside your bed.
The bright red rose that stained everything.
Crimson gushes from my wrists, from my neck.
It tastes metallic.

I'm happy now.
I smear it all over the TV screen.
Now I can become one with my friends.
Come on, play with me.

Red and white dotted fabric.
I spin around in my chic new dress.
My husband kisses me goodbye.
I iron out the clothes.

Stitch.
Sew.
Cut.
Pull.

Warm, homecooked meals.
We dine as a tune from our youth plays on the radio.
He places a rose on my empty plate.
I smile.

Thimbles coat my fingers.
I stick pins in fabric and sew it up together.
I feel a thud in my stomach.
I iron out the clothes.

He welcomes me home with gifts.
My baby boy is fast asleep.
My husband is slowly coming home later and later.
He hasn't noticed the holes in my arm.

I drink another shot, smiling at my sleepy baby boy.
My husband isn't home.
I pop my pills.
And I iron out the clothes.

The medicine isn't working anymore.
I can't stop his screaming.
Shut up.
Shut that child up.

My husband is yelling at me.
What did I do wrong?
He tears my new dress.
I iron out the clothes.

My baby won't stop crying.
Stop, please.
My husband is never home.
My head hurts.

I throw the pills down the drain.
I shakily brandish a knife.
I breathe.
And iron out the clothes.

Crimson splattered across walls.
An old tune from our youth plays on the radio.
My husband isn't breathing.
My baby boy stopped crying.

I feed my child and put him to sleep.
I sleep.
I spin around in my green and white polka dotted dress.
The fabric tearing at the seams.

I iron out the clothes.
The fabric.
The rope.

I leave a rose next to my child and stand up.
This necklace fits perfectly.
I take a bow in front of the mirror.
Don't I look pretty?

I kick the furniture.
Dancing midair.
My hair falls to my face.
I iron out the

An iris hid within a chrysanthemum.
Loyal, faithful and loving.

Hiding within their thick petals, letting not many people peek inside.
But those special flowers, special leaves and plants that look inside, are never the same.

They see a glistening, golden world.
A world full of hope and love.

When a flower is planted, it's planted with care.
Whether it grows with care is undetermined.

However, you can make a flower's life better by watering, talking and letting them breathe.
Flowers do so much for us, we should repay them.

A world full of greenery, full of plants and leaves.
A world without flowers, until I met you.

A splash of colour from your petals.
Painting a wall with your golden syrup.

I'm glad I chose to leave my dull world behind.
And befriend such a lively and lovely person.

The day you were planted is a blessed day.
And I hope I can make everyday that you live, a little more better.

As much as you've done for me.
Happy birthday.

I have a very limited diet.
I survive off sweet and nutritious thoughts.
The compliments that taste like candy.
I devour them whole.

Put a little icing on me.
I could use a personality.
What do you want me to be?
Something sour? Or something sweet?

Cut me open, limb by limb.
Tell me good things.
Eat me and tell me how good I taste.
I crave the validation.

The bad thoughts have my stomach tied in knots.
I puke them out until I'm hungry again.
I could use some sweet things.
So all your thoughts get shoved down my throat.

Order anything you'd like.
I'll be whatever you want.
I'll make sure to consume perfection.
You are what you eat after all.

Am I good yet?
Am I too much, too little?
Too sweet, too savoury?
I will take in your thoughts and make you happy.

I'm filling up on too many thoughts.
But I'm starving.
I'm overeating all the nice things you say.
My insides are an overflowing shipwreck.

What flavour is my personality?
Should I just scrape it off?
Everyone will like me more without it.
Everyone will like me more without it.

Devour me whole, tell me I'm pretty.
Take a bite of me.
Call me the perfect identity.
Do you enjoy me?

I purge your thoughts and change my flavour.
Why aren't you happy?
My stomach is empty.
I've forgotten who I used to be.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to **** someone?
I have.

I imagined it being an exhilarating experience.
One I will never forget.

Of course, you have to make sure you do it properly.
You don't want to get caught, do you?

I remember her watery, crystal eyes.
Her violet wrists and ankles.

The way her hair stood up when I touched her.
The way she winced whenever my cool blade touched her.

Was she panicking?
Probably.

I remember her gasps for air.
Her hoarse, croaky voice.

One stab.
A velvet sea laid out in front of me.

Two stabs.
Red, glittery hands.

Three stabs.
It's getter harder to see.

Four stabs.
I fall down.

I smear the blood on the wall.
As if it were a cry for help.

I wanted to do this so badly.
Why am I now regretting it?

Guilt swarms my body.
My head aches.

Have you ever wanted to **** somebody?
Because I have.

Today's the day I ****** a blade into my stomach.
A crimson waterfall.

My final words are yours to read.
On this ****** sheet of paper.

Today's the day I shivered with a blade to my wrist.
Hesitation, but the urge to die.

My final words are yours to read.
On this creme coloured wall in red writing.

Today's the day I
died.

I've seen the gates of Heaven.
Pure.
White.
Gates.

Angels are beautiful creatures, aren't they?
They fill some with lust, desire...
They fill me with something nobody else could give.
Love.

I knew when our eyes connected.
You were something special.
You have my glass heart in your hands.
Please don't let it go.

I've been hurt by angels before.
They've taken my heart, handled it with care.
Then smashed it using all their force.
It's taken forever to pick up the pieces.

But by the way you touch me.
Kiss me and tell me I'm pretty.
I can tell you're different.
I can tell you're heavenly.

Black circles under crimson eyes.
Pale, porcelain skin.
Large white wings.
The heart of a saint.

You sink your fingers into my heart.
Squishing and spreading it around.
You dig your own heart from your flesh.
Bloodied fingertips connecting love.

With two hearts together.
You smile at me.
I am certain now.
You can teach me to love again.

[ Caution ]
[ Fragile ]

Our legs tangle together beneath tables.
Our smiles complete each other.
Your eyes are crystal blue.
Mine are a crimson red.

You reach over and caress my hand.
It feels good when you rub my knuckles.
You place a kiss.
It feels good.

But,
uneasy.

I love when you hold my waist.
We ballroom dance in the small kitchen space.
You rest your head on my thighs.
It feels nice.

You pull open my skin to look at my heart.
Your mouth gapes open.
Are you surprised to see it shattered apart?
It wasn't my choice, however.

Not mine,
not at all.

You hold red glass, cutting your skin.
Hurriedly you try to put them together.
I've been hurt before.
What's a little more?

Two pieces connect at the hip.
You smile through bloodied hands.
The pieces shiver in your touch.
You caress them with such compassion.

It stings,
but in a good way.

Slowly but surely, the pieces stick together.
A glass heart, torn at the seems.
You place it back, and stitch me up.
You smile at me, though your hands are scratched.

I kiss your wounds.
You cry for me.
I never believed in true love.
But this time, I'll give it a shot.

Blue.
Red.
Yellow.
Green.

Little hands, touching a static screen.
Smearing lipstick and singing into a hairbrush.

Bigger hands, tracing a phone screen.
Wearing lipstick and standing on stage.

Holding hands, walking down the street.
Holding a clutch, walking a red road.

Black.

Long karaoke car drives with friends.
Quiet flights amidst a night sky.

Cranberry juice with girlfriends.
***** martinis in an apartment alone.

Friends with everyone.
Friends with the flashing lights, reflected in eyes.

Blue.
Red.
Yellow.
Green.

Lovers.
Tabloids.

Smoking.
Coc­aine.

Break-up.
TV Shows.

Black.

Waking up in a cold sweat.
Your heart bursting through your chest.

Diamond jewellery to your left.
Empty cigarette packets and beer cans to your right.

Asking yourself the same thing you've asked since.
Are you still having fun?

Warm bed.
Suffocation.

Lukewarm water.
Drowning.

Dishes upon dishes are stacked.
Tumbling.

Down.
Down.
Down.
Down.

Another day, another relative in the grave.
Salty tears can't turn back time.

I never caressed, I never cared.
But I did care.

Wet pillow.
Drying.

Cry.
Cry.
Cry.
Cry.

Take a watch and turn back time.
Where would you like to go?

Go back to everybody you forgot existed?
Or maybe spend more time with the people you didn't?

Help out your family more often?
Because you never did so before.

Never.
Never.
Never.
Never.

You can't go back, you know that right?
Why are you crying?

They're dead, they all are.
It's over now, forget it.

No matter how many times you say it, it's meaningless.
"Sorry."

An angel with an arched back.
It's wings spread out like an owl's.
She turns to gaze at me.
Fluttering eyelids.

Her hand runs over her pale skin.
Her white wings flutter with every touch she makes.
Her dead eyes creep to gaze at me.
Beckoning me.

My throat feels clogged.
I walk closer.
My hands are shaking.
I still, walk closer.

She reaches her hand out to me.
I take it without hesitation.
An angel in love with a human?
It's mad, isn't it?

I kiss her hand and she smiles.
Her eyes are still dead.
She runs her fingers up and down my throat.
I sputter white petals all over her.

She's dowsed in white petals.
They're stuck in her midnight hair.
She smiles at me, her eyes finally glistening.
I smile back.

An angel in love with a human.
It's mad, isn't it?
Yes, it's mad.
But aren't we all a little mad sometimes?

But I can't see.
My whole vision is a blurred, red mess.
My blood is soaking the string.
Dripping onto the marble floor.

Drip
Drip
Drip
Drip

There's a pounding sensation in my head.
It hurts, I cannot breathe.
I do not love you.
Get out of my head.

Out
Out
Out
Out

With a pair of scissors, I cleanly cut the string.
It loosely falls to the floor.
You stare at me with your big blue eyes.
It's like looking into an abyss, or into a twilight sky.

But it stings.
A bruise marks my finger where the string once was.
The starry sky is swallowing me whole.
I will never again see your pretty face.

I hate the string that burns my skin.
I hate your face.
It gives me a melancholic tinge.
I hate what drew us together.

But I finally broke it.

Magenta lights flashing through my window.
Muffled groans and cries echo from my pillow.

Humid air, kicking off sheets.
I can hear cars driving on the streets.

Birds singing happily in the night sky.
I sink into the bath and begin to cry.

Lavender scent, filling the air.
Scrubbing my body, my body is bare.

Red marks wherever I scrub.
Slowly but surely red drips into the tub.

No matter how hard, how rough I've been.
I know it in my heart, I'll never be clean.

Small, silver tool on top of the sink.
It all happened so fast, happened in a blink.

Submerged in the water I breathe.
Across my flesh, I feel the metal sheathe.

The water is now red.
It shows how much I've bled.

I tilt my head back and look out the glass.
I can see the sunrise, bright green grass.

Birds are singing outside cheerily.
I close my eyes and exhale drearily.

Bathing in crimson, my heart starts to sink.
The only thought I have is what my mother will think.

Addiction.
It's a filthy word that taints your tongue.
I'm not a normal addict.
I'm not addicted to beer, or to regular drugs.

The only drug that fulfils my desires.
Is you.

You are my drug.
You fill my head with morphine.
You take away my pain.
But when I wake up in the morning I feel sick.

I take you every night.
You've helped me in ways you don't even know about.
Even though I can't swallow you whole.
I can break you and take you piece by piece.

No matter how I devour you.
You always help me.
I taste the bitterness on my tongue.
But a cool sensation spreads to my head.

Being in love is a powerful thing.
Addictive?
Yes.
But you?

You're a chemical.
You make up my bright side.
You make up my best days.
You make me feel numb when I bleed.

I was never one for drugs.
But when it comes to love.
I dove in head first.

Tracing the lines on your thighs.
I look into your crystal eyes.

Our bodies stick together during humid nights.
Your eyes are stories; bright coloured lights.

Connecting your freckles like constellations.
I try not to give into my temptations.

I reach for your hand under the black sky.
In the dark, nobody can see you cry.

Rest your head on my shoulder and let it out.
I hate how you say you love me with doubt.

We've all got problems, issues of our own.
Nobody needs to go through that alone.

I love you, I touch you every night.
Your neck covered in love-bites.

The only problem I have is loving you.
When you leave, my soul turns blue.

My body radiates like sunlight with you near.
So please, stay tonight, just tonight, my dear.

They're laughing.
Smiling.
Being happy.
Happy Happy Happy.

It's hot in here.
Marshmallows being roasted near a fire.
Presents being put down.
Cards on trees.

It smells like family.
It smells like relations.
It smells like happiness.
It smells like living.

I can't touch them, I can't.
It hurts.
Every Christmas hurts.
The smell of eggnog fills the air.

They sit at the table and pray.
My mother weeps.
It's been three years.
She's not over it.

I want to cradle and hold her.
Tell her it's okay.
Tell her I'm alright.
But I'm not alright.

She can't see me.
Nobody can.
Not even myself.
It hurts.

Every Christmas I relive the same thing.
The flashing lights.
The horns.
The sirens.

The sound of my spine cracking in the all wrong places.
The sound of my mother crying in the ambulance.
The sound of my siblings arguing with doctors.
The sound of my life support being pulled.

It's alright, I'm here.
Christmas can continue.
Just hold me and tell me it's okay.
I need to talk.

Someone.
Anyone.

Red.
All I see is red.
My heart pounds, I can hear it clearly.
There's a fuzzy dark figure in the red mist.

The rope around my neck tightens.
My ring finger hurts.

You caress my face.
You're smiling at me.

The red is slowly fading.
Your face becomes clearer.
I don't recognise you.
But I love you.

I see red drip down your neck.
I feel liquid seep from my neck onto my chest.
We are one and the same.
The chords around us.

Red string.
All around.

Twisting around our necks.
Our fingers connected.
Your blue eyes contrast the red.
I can feel myself breathing a bit easier.

I can feel your warmth.
There's no mistaking what we are.

Intertwined.

I stand tall, smiling manically through a TV screen.
Static amidst the broadcast, what a wonderful scene.

Turn up the volume, I'm showing the death of a nation.
Stand up and yell, dance in formation.

I open my third eye, I can see it all.
Turn around and around, everyone will fall.

They watch with their eyes glued.
No matter what they do, they're all *******.

They sway two and fro.
A telecast promoting vertigo.

I raise a blade to my throat and sing a chorus.
Black chords all around like liquorice.

They stare hypnotised at the television show.
I cut my throat and blood starts to flow.

I open my third eye, I can see it all.
Turn around and around, everyone will fall.

The screen cuts to static. A washed out town.
For a mere moment, I was their king. I wore a crown.

I lay on the floor of the studio, bleeding out.
I hurt them all, my mind has no doubts.

But I smile and laugh, coughing up red.
Those ******* won't forget the things they said.

You place your hand on top of mine.
I press the piano keys, this makes nine.

Your voice lulls a love song.
How nostalgic. It's been so long.

Life is a road I'm walking on.
Love is a river I'm floating on.

Your lips against my ear as you caress each key.
Each sound makes my body shake, my soul's being set free.

Your touch is warm and suffocating.
Every time you're here I just keep waiting.

Waiting for something to happen.
Maybe a journey, I need to strap in.

Life is a road I'm walking on.
Love is a river I'm floating on.

Your kiss is electric, it drives me wild.
Your touch on the keys is less than mild.

Tunes and songs you play to me.
When I hear them I'm filled with glee.

You finish the song and open my heart.
This is our story, but it's just the start.

You have me running in circles.
Maybe if we were more verbal.
This would all work out.

I love when our lips collide.
I hope one day you can be my bride.
Hand-in-hand all night.

We make love under a milky twilight.
I leave you covered in lilac-coloured lovebites.
Only with you, am I such a mess.

I braid your hair in the morning.
When I do your makeup you always give me a warning.
You're all over the place and I love it.

I connect your freckles like constellations.
I will love you no matter what the location.
Your kiss is pure and cleansing.

You run your fingers all over my chest.
I wake up every morning feeling blessed.
You're my medication, babe.

But we fight.
Every night.
This won't work out.

I thought we were meant to be.
But I can see the person you love is not me.
It hurts to admit.

So kiss me one last time.
Breaking my heart is your only crime.
I'm better off without you.

I cry but it's okay.
My world won't fade to grey.
'Cause love comes back in unexpected ways.

22 tablets I've swallowed.
Only I knew what followed.

22 insults I've been given.
I promised myself I wouldn't give in.

22 lies to cover my scars.
I connect the dots like the stories of the stars.

22 arguments I've been in.
Whenever they're over I plaster on a grin.

22 gashes across my skin.
I'm dizzy now. My head starts to spin.

22 droplets of blood on the floor.
They look a little lonely, how about some more?

22 people who lied and deceived me.
To open my heart, you'd need the key.

22 bruises, marking my body.
I can't look in the mirror, I appear gaudy.

22 poems, left unread.
I'll be thinking of that as I lay on my deathbed.

22 stabs to end my life.
I smile and brandish my knife.

There she is.
Whenever I see her, my heart starts to ****.
She's beautiful, her smile makes my day.
But whenever we talk, I don't know what to say.

We like a lot of the same things.
Whenever she's around, birds start to sing.
Whenever she touches me, my body sets aflame.
Does she realise my aim?

My face feels hot, this is it.
Time to say what's on my mind, without throwing a fit.
"I love you," I say.
She plays with my heart like it's clay.

She smiles gently and puts her hand on my shoulder.
My heart begins to smoulder.
"I don't like girls," she says to me.
I said how I feel, but at what fee?

I remember your cool hands on my flesh.
I remember the outside air, the clouds, how fresh.
When you touch me you send shivers down my spine.
I love how you look when you drink white wine.

Your throat moving up and down.
My body heats up and my heart pounds.
Your eyes pierce into me so deep.
Sometimes I forget *** is so cheap.

The way you pleasure me makes my head spin.
I love how your cool hands feel on my skin.
You opened your legs, your heart to me.
I've been considering dropping to one knee.

But when I saw you on him.
I never knew love could be so grim.
He's thrusting his hips. He's deep down inside you.
I can't believe you loved him and I never even had a clue.

You moan in delight.
You never did that during our nights.
I wonder how you two met.
My chest feels tight and I start to sweat.

You opened your legs, your heart to me.
I had considered dropping to one knee.
I throw the ring into the gutter.
You will never again, make my heart flutter.

Even as I say that I must admit.
Now that you're gone, my wrists are slit.
I can still hear your voice in the back of my mind.
I never knew love could be so blind.

Dark sky amidst the night.
There are remains of a glittering twilight.

Sobbing can be heard behind the door.
They won't tell me what they're crying for.

But I care about them, with all my heart.
Cutting yourself isn't some art.

You feel as though you have no friends.
Except for the blade that cuts your skin.
I know where you've been.
Hurting yourself won't help cleanse.

I know it's hard, I've been there before.
But it's okay, put the razor in the drawer.

You are beautiful, believe in yourself.
Keep the pill bottles right on the shelf.

If you pull them off one by one.
What happens to you cannot be undone.

Just hold on one more day.
Listen to what I have to say.

I may not know your name.
But put that knife down and come over here.
I can tell you, I've felt the same.
It's okay now, you're safe now. I love you, my dear.

A tall, elegant wallflower.
Her orchid eyes tell a million tales.
An expressionless face.
A contagious smile.

She's easily flushed, and often hides away.
I love when she talks, her voice is melodic.
Her laugh causes my heart to ache.
Her small hands cradling a book.

Everything about her makes my heart pound.
The curving of her lips.
The way she blinks.
Her methodical way of thought.

I love it all.
She's a little messed up, but that's alright.
I help her as much as I can.
She's scarred, and in pain, but that's okay.

She opened up, little by little.
Making me proud, and a little flustered.
When she brandishes her knife, I feel a sense of fright.
But I know that everything will be okay.

She's timid, polite and talks quietly.
I'm patient with her, she means the world to me.
Whenever we touch, my face turns red.
But it's okay, because hers does too.

Flowers are beautiful.
Not just in their appearance.
Each flower has a meaning,
Meanings unique to each one.

Flowers smell nice and look nice.
However, if you get too close they can hurt.
That's why they're put away in a vase, for viewing.
Look, don't touch.

However, all nice things must come to an end.
Flowers will wither away, much like a human.
However, you can always grow them again.
Flowers are easily replaceable.

Sometimes I hate flowers.
They're everything a human isn't.
You can't **** a person and grow one back.
You can't wither away and become a decoration.

Humans can't be put away, only to view.
Even the most beautiful flowers will hurt you.
Because you let them out of the vase.
I envy flowers, in some way.

Pick me up and spin me around.
Not too tightly, or you'll cut yourself.
Smell me, lean in and tell me I'm pretty.
Then when I wither, scatter me across the sea.

Why do cats hate rabbits?
Why do they decapitate and lick their heads?
What did the rabbit do?
Cats are mean, I hate them.

Why are rabbits so cute?
They're fluffy and full of life.
The way they eat makes my heart flutter.
Rabbits are nice, I love them.

My schoolyard pal, a snow-white rabbit.
Decapitated in the corner of its cage.
A lonesome black cat, licking its head.
What a horrendous sight.

I never liked cats.
They make my heart ache.
My only friend was taken away.
Why are cats so mean?

I hate you.
I hate everything that you do.
I hate your smile and your starry eyes.
I hate when I'm with you, time just flies.

I hate how you're never here.
I hate how you always seem to disappear.
I hate your toothy grin.
I hate when I'm with you my head starts to spin.

I hate how you yell and smash bottles all night.
I hate when I wake up covered in love-bites.
I hate how you tease me and tell me you love me.
I hate when you can't calm down and it takes more than just a plea.

I hate how you're violent and stay up for hours.
I hate when you kiss me and cuddle me during showers.
I hate when we play board games and I'd always win.
I hate how you're covered head-to-toe in sin.

I hate when you touch me and my heart starts to pound.
I hate when we dance and you spin me right round.
I hate when you laugh and tickle my ears.
I hate the fact that it's been like this for years.

I hate when you hit me and tell me you're sorry.
I hate when you do it the next day without a single worry.
I hate when we kiss and it makes me feel alive.
I hate when our love dies and it suddenly revives.

I hate you with every fibre of my being.
I hate when you pretend to care about my wellbeing.
But most of all I hate myself.
I hate how I take your love right off of the shelf.

I hate how I love kissing you.
I hate how I love everything you do.
I hate when you hit me and choke me and bruise me.
But I hate the fact that I can't even flee.

I love you, I do.
I really, really love you.
I know I'm dying, slowly but surely.
But I promise, 'till my last dying breath, that I will love you purely.

Red.
I'm hot-headed, and I rush into things.
I'm strategic and tough.
Yet, this is all a mere coverup for the scars of my past.

Blue.
You're cool, suave and charismatic.
You're a good aim and goofy.
Yet, I can tell you're hurting deep inside.

Why won't you let me hold you?
Let us kiss under a sparkling twilight.
Then, our two worlds can collide.
And we can become a lilac sky.

White room.
In the centre of it all, an overflowing bathtub, with lilies floating atop.
It's a beautiful, yet, unsettling sight.
The water continues to flow, drawing me in closer.

I cautiously dip my hand in.
The water is cold and ***** me in.
It's a blue place, shrouded in darkness.
Lilies float past me, but I am paralysed where I lay.

I close my eyes and breathe.
It's suffocating.
Where are you?
I'm cold.

When I open my eyes again, I'm in the same white room.
In the centre of it all, a piercing red chair.
It's ominous, but it draws me closer.
I breathe a little easier.

I sit down, my head in my hands.
I close my eyes.
It's hot, I'm sweaty, burning.
I open my eyes to the sight of fire, surrounding me all around.

I hitch my breathing.
It's suffocating.
Where are you?
I'm hot.

I open my eyes one last time.
A black room, with a photo of you.
You're smiling a goofy smile, just like you.
I trace the frame, remembering the past.

This eternal torture isn't too bad.
I get to see you every night.
But when I wake up you will be gone.
And back to torture where I belong.

Your polaroids came in the mail today.
At first, I didn't know what to say.
Your body makes me hot and bothered.
You act as if you want me tortured.

I set the photos ablaze.
Never again. I'll forget those days.
I'll forget when you touched me, and kissed me all over.
I'll forget the time you picked me a four-leaf clover.

More polaroids you sent to me.
I didn't want to say it, but I'm filled with glee.
But I won't forget what you did in the past.
If I wanted these photos, I would've just asked.

I set the photos ablaze.
Never again. I'll forget those days.
I'll forget when we flirted, and you would get flattered.
I'll forget when you said I was the only thing that mattered.

Why do you post them every single week?
But I couldn't help but give them a peek.
Your body sets my ***** on fire.
Your voice sounds like an angel's choir.

I leave the photos on my desk.
A small part of me doesn't want to forget.
What we did, what happened, all you've done to me.
I thought that I was safe, that I had been set free.

Today I touched myself, looking at you.
It's your fault, you know? You cause all the crazy things I do.
Your thighs always call my name.
That's why it's you to blame.

Why did you send the photos?
When I saw them I completely froze.
Did you want to **** with my mind?
The past is the past, leave it behind.

You're naked in every single one of these.
Although arousing, they fill me with unease.
I don't know what you want from me.
What the **** do you want us to be?

We ended years ago, the past is the past.
I need to get out, I need to fast.
Your face is everywhere I go.
This is all your fault, you already know.

Why do you wish to torment me?
Why can't you leave me be?
Yet I always come running back.
Maybe it's because you're a snack.

You're unhealthy and bad for me.
But you're tasty and don't cost a fee.
Maybe it isn't so bad.
Maybe I'm a little glad.

I hate the photos that you send.
I hate the fact we were never even friends.
But if you ever stop loving me, I'll break.
Everything you do, causes me to ache.

What the **** is this?
I constantly melt into your kiss.
What the **** do you want us to be?
I don't even remember who I am anymore.

Our love collided on a warm Summer's night.
I can't really describe it, but it just felt right.
I know we're just strangers but whenever we kiss.
I fall deeper and deeper into your abyss.

Your heart pounds, giving me headaches.
Falling in love always ends in heartbreak.
Your skin is warm when I touch you.
Do you love me the same way I do?

Your crystal eyes, breaking into my soul.
Whenever you're near, I want to take you whole.
If you could just tell me those three words.
My heart would light up, echoing songs from bluebirds.

Between your two legs is such a treat.
Whenever I touch you, my heart starts to beat.
Your moans like an angel's sultry lullaby.
Then your legs shake and you begin to cry.

Cuddling beneath a milky twilight.
Your head on my chest until daylight.
You take the cigar right out of my hand.
You hold it between your teeth, the sight is quite grand.

Your hands rubbing all over my chest.
Whenever I'm with you, I feel the best.
Your smile causing my heart to pound.
Your whispers like gospel to me, I adore the sound.

Your pleasured screams echo through my mind.
I wake up with our fingers intertwined.
You smile at me beneath glistening stars.
I trace every one of your scars.

You cry every night now.
I remember writing my vows.
I'm sorry, my darling, for what I have done.
You'll forever be my only loved one.

You grasp onto my hand with such intensity.
Your tears soaking into me.
I love you, I really do.
I'd give up my life just to talk to you.

I liked it best when you would hear my voice.
But, it's not like we both have a choice.
You constantly weep all over my sheets.
Even so, my heart still beats.

All these things I wish to say.
You promise that it'll be okay.
I love the warmth I get when you are near.
But I promise, it's okay now, you can let me go, dear.

I remember singing song lyrics in the back of my Mustang.
Your blue eyes glistened in the moonlight as we both sang.
It was something like an old Elvis Presley love song.
Laughter and love swarming the air as we drove along.

I parked the car on the edge of a cliff.
I leaned in and gave your perfume a sniff.
A floral, seductive scent.
The time driving was well spent.

She opened her thighs.
It was quite a surprise.
But I smiled gently and let myself inside.
Her moans echoing through the night.
My, my, it was quite the sight.

She clung to me, whispering sweet nothings.
This was the only night I could give her some loving.

Because when I wake up, I know she won't be there.
I'll curl up and cry, wallowing in despair.

So, please, my darling, give me this one night.
I'll cover your neck, with rose-coloured love-bites.
Taking your shirt with me.
So when I smell it, I'll be filled with glee.

Please, let me love you.
You were always more than just someone to *****.
Although, I know this is a one-night-stand.
Falling in love wasn't something I'd planned.

So let me kiss you, and touch you tonight.
Our lips connecting under a sparkling twilight.
Your smooth hands, all over my skin.
I honestly don't care where else they've been.

By morning you'll be gone.
And without you, I'll have to live on.

Every day I wake, will be a hellish nightmare.
Because everything is Hell when you're not there.

Looking at the sky, I'll remember your eyes.
Don't worry, I'll die, so you'll never have to cry.

My life is meaningless without you near.
So please, just tonight, let me love you, my dear.

Static screens, calling my name.
Disfigured frames of my bedroom.
Morphed audio, taunting me.
Red velvet, soft sheets.

Downing more medicine.
It helps with the voices.
The screens still shake.
Audio still plays.

Secret messages, binary within screens.
Static, glitching televisions.
Unsettling 70s chimes.
Warm water, overflowing bath.

Downing more medicine.
It helps with the voices.
Messages swarming in my mind.
Songs stuck in my head.

Human eyes, staring at me through screens.
Human lips, moving at me through screens.
They're talking, I can hear them.
Their voice is glitched and edited.

Downing more medicine.
It helps with the voices.
I can't hear anything anymore.
I can't see.

                                                           ­  I can't breathe.

Where do babies come from?
Do they come from the bright blue sky up above?
Up where the doves sing and shout?

Do they come from a bright world full of hope?
Do they come from angels in love?
Saints blessing the world?

They come from tobacco-ridden men,
They come from girls who want to grow up too fast,
They come from demons in lust,
They come from broken homes.

They come from broke dads in debt,
They come from girls who beg to be left alone,
They come from pleading, screaming,
They're an accident, from centuries ago.

But in this day and age, aren't we all birthing addicts?

A black and white world.
Devoid of colour, devoid of feeling.
No sound.
Only silence.

Then I met you and my heart beat fast.
I couldn't breathe without you near.
I wonder why.

The dreary skies suddenly turned blue.
The wind blew stronger than ever.
The birds began to sing.

I could hear music pound from my heart, whenever you came close.
The streets full of chatter, full of life.
Colourful clothes.
A radiant display.

When I touch you, my world's on fire.
I feel content and burst into tears.
Your lips on mine make my heart sing.
I love your warmth.

Holding your hand, I cry.
Crystal blue tears seep into your skin.
I wonder why.

Your hand limps.
The world is black and white.

The sky is bright blue.
Mesmerising.

The air is fresh and clean.
Beautiful.

This could all be a dream, but, it seems it's not.
As his nightmares have become his dreams.

Though, the pleasant picture fades to black, never to be seen again.

Cold, moist wind, blowing in all directions.
Horrible.

Blackness stained under fingernails.
Putrid.

He battered his tiny fist to feel something.
Just to feel something.
His stomach painted violet.

The bathtub filled to the brim with lukewarm water.
His fingers prune immediately.
His tears like rain in the tub.

Sinking his head down, wishing to be reborn.
A glass child, breaking at the seams.

Beneath murky, bloodied water, it beats.
The lonesome heart of a saint.
With every beat, the still water ripples.
Agonising.

Lips like cherry wine.
Porcelain, icy, skin.

Will you remember the taste of my lips?
Will you remember my hands when he touches you?

Will he caress you the way that I did?
Will he care for you more than I did?

I breathe beneath the ***** water.
Heartbeats slowing down, almost inaudible.
When suddenly, the beating stops.
The water stops.

My fingers prune and my chest throbs.
It's cold.

Soft music, echoing from a phonograph.
The distant smell of tobacco and white wine.
Comforting, yet, unsettling.

Smoke fills the room, blurring visions.
It's warm, feels safe.

Raindrops can be heard hitting the pavement outside.

Is this a dream?
Am I dead?

I can feel myself float above lukewarm water.
Drifting away, my skin cold against the air.

My head is light and empty.
It feels nice.

Better than being awake.
This dream world is a safe haven.

Who would want to be confined to a dark reality?
When you can get everything you want,
                                                                just by closing your eyes?

It was dark, cold and cramped.
I thought I'd never get out.
It seemed impossible.
The demons were consuming me and I couldn't do anything about it.

Anything.

Then there was a sprout of light.
It almost blinded me amidst the dark.
I felt myself breathing a little easier.
My eyes shot open.

It was there.
Right there.
Just beyond my reach.
Can I make it?

Knees bleeding after making contact with the floor.
Legs stained with red.
But the light, it guided me.
I was so close.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel.
You'll never make it unscathed.
But that's okay because you're free.

Like a feather picked up by a gust of wind.
                                                                           Fly.

Warm arms cradling a cold boy.
Reassurance is only temporarily comforting.
Tears stain the boy, seeping into his soul.

He knows they care, but they cannot help.
The scars covering his arms are apparent.
But he doesn't care anymore.

It helps him relax and washes away his sorrows.
The warm arms grip tighter.
"I won't go away."

He knows they care.
He's well aware.
But from beneath the warm cocoon.
He picks up a razor.

In a world full of people, nobody can help.
You live in isolation; full of self-doubt.

There was a little girl,
Never seen, never heard,
Her heart ached,
Her vision blurred.

Hannah drank until dawn,
Her knuckles bruised and ******,
For a woman, she was brawn,
Oh, what an unlucky little girl.

She looked next to the sink, there were tablets,
Hoping to forget Hannah's abusive habits,
The little girl heard screams and shouts,
Her tears stung and she swallowed her doubts.

Crashing, crying and threats,
The little girl cries behind the door,
Hannah cannot pay her debts,
She looks next to the sink and finds her answer.

The little girl slashes her wrists,
Taking more tablets, this makes six.
The bruises will fade tomorrow,
Though, the blood continues to flow.