maybe time
is only helping me prepare myself
for the infinite possibilities of you.
maybe time
is letting me gather my whole being
in hopes that you would accept it, too.
maybe time
is giving me the chance to be broken,
just so that i could be fixed by you.
maybe time
is making sure
that i would be deserving
of the love that is yet to come.

He was my sun, every single planet in my body revolved around him.

The days seem so much longer when I don't meet the light of his gaze.
It was agony.

Every moment we are together,
an hour seems like one second.
It was in these moments wherein I knew what happiness felt like.

I hope I don't grow old like this:
depending on the few days I'd have by your side.

Everyday I'd pray
for a chance that gravity
can grant me my one wish.

My wish of being in his orbit,
and he in mine,
for eternity.

I hope you find happiness
whether it be under the spotlight
or simply just under the sun.

I hope you grow wise
that whoever seeks advice
may come to you with no hesitation

I hope you reach your dreams
so that you can freely say
that you've worked hard for everything that will come your way.

I hope you have love in your heart
so that you'll find more reasons
to keep going.

I am cordially writing this to you in hopes that my wishes may be given the chance to come true. I only have one request, and I'm sure it wouldn't take much of your time.

Please give me the chance to see him
again. I don't have plans to hurt him, nor do I have plans to take him from the hands of his family and friends.

I simply want to be able to tell him, even if he doesn't hear, about the stories I've wrote in his name.

I need him to know about the way I see him to be, so that I am aware if I'm loving the dream or the real him.

I want to be able to love him in his terms of what is right, the way he wants to be loved.

Though I know the chances of redamancy is slim, at least he knows that I love at least a fragment of him.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and I hope that, if you choose to accept my request, I am able to show my gratitude to you in a more concrete way. Thank you, and I hope to get my answer soon.

I have so many
dreams and wishes inside of me
that I can only imagine
will come true.

The big blue ocean
it hypnotizes me;
it gives me hope that maybe
there is a road that is meant for me
to walk on.

So I'll let the wind guide me
and the sea lead me
to that small island
that will show me
just who I am meant to be.

maybe it had been written in the stars
that there would once be a girl
who loved a boy
who was slowly growing into
a constellation.

the girl waits and waits and waits
for a sign that this love she has nurtured
would soon ripen with age
and find its way
before the boy turns into a blinding star.

and i pray for the day
that you could be mine
like how i am wholeheartedly yours.

sunlight streams
through my curtains
during the first few minutes
of ten.
i start my day anew.

i'm walking through
the thick streams
of faces i've never seen,
and then i meet your eyes.

a face i have yet to name,
yet my heart already calls you
its lost, now found, lover.

i found love in you that morning.

i start my days anew.

i start my life loving you.

loving you is a war
i never thought i would fight in.
but here i am,
on my knees,
hands in the air,
yelling of my surrender
to you.

this boy made me love
more than i ever thought i was capable of.

he's got my everything
yet he is my everything.

i've been living my tomorrows
all my life
that i forget
that today still has its hours.

the world may not have given me the chance
to love you as you walk by my side,
but the world did give me the privilege
to love you so deeply.

maybe that's why we can't be together.
because the world knows that when my eyes,
that have always been searching for yours,
meets your gaze,
my world would be different.
for my world would become you.

i'm selfish,
for wanting the eyes of everyone i met
or have yet to meet
to be only on me.

i'm selfish,
i don't want others to rise
because i know it will mark my fall.

i'm selfish,
i know.

but aren't we all?

i know that
the way my heart seems to beat faster and faster
every time i hear your name,
is a sign that this could be love.

i know that
the way my mind
daydreams about all the possible impossiblities
is a sign that this could be love.

i know that
every single urge i have to be better,
to be someone worth being loved by someone like you,
is a sign that this could be love.

i find myself
daydreaming about what my world would look like
if you were here with me.

i would've braved that rollercoater
at last summer's fair
because i knew i had the handle bars
and you
to hold onto.

i would've auditioned for that role
in the school play
because i knew that you'd be there
to cheer me on
even if my voice cracks.

i would've done so many things
knowing i'd have you
to be there while i face life.

lines,
the curves of your neck, your eyelashes that flutter.
color,
the brown in your eyes, the barely there pink of your chapped lips.
texture,
the bumps on your cheeks, the smoothness of your hands.
space,
the width of your shoulders, the space between your eyebrows.
shape,
the way your shadow looks as the spotlight's on you.


van gogh, da vinci, munch, and michelangelo,
they'd all be ashamed,
for they could never make art in the form of you.

i want to wave a hand,
but i can't.
i want to say hello,
but my throat stays tight.
it's hard for me
to do something i really want to.

We flew in summer,
He showed me spring.
I held him in winter,
We were each other's fall.
He was my muse,
I was his passion.
We are my ikigai.

she loved him too hard
she forgot how to thread letters
into words that others could comprehend.

as if time slows down
that's what it feels like
you are one massive blackhole
and i a helpless shuttle
trying to find a way out of your
endless abyss
that always manages to
bring me back to the place
i never wanted to be in
but it's terrible because
as i move farther away
i see my hair turning gray
and yours still a luscious black
and it gives me fear
to know that i'd age
without the one i thought
would give me a home
so warm so right

the idea that waiting
can bring you things you know
and never knew you needed
makes me realize
that there is hope in waiting.

i guess
that's why
we live for so long
and so short a time:
because we're waiting
and have waited
for all the best things
the world can conjure.

i don't need you
to tell me
you love me, too.

i just need you
to know
that someone,
in this case, i,
love you so much more
than you ever
could believe was possible.

in the situation i am in,
i know people will tell me
that this is wrong and stupid.

but i don't believe them.

they don't know of the stories
i've written for you.
they don't know of the love
i continue to speak out for you.

and i will continue to speak,
and scream,
and whisper.
because you will never know,
maybe one day,
you'll actually hear me.

i don't want to lose
you,
who isn't mine,
who is so close to being mine,
who is too impossible to be mine.

it's hard for you, i know it is,
but the only thing i can say is that
i love you, and i will tomorrow, too.

even if i forget your name, your face,
when we first met, when we first kissed,
i love you, and i will tomorrow, too.

i hope that, even after the ten thousandth song,
you'd still have the courage, the desire to say
"i love you, and i will tomorrow, too."

you've gifted me
a galaxy
i was never able to see.

you gave me a family
i can call my home.

like how a prism
shines in every angle
struck by light,
you give me
all the colors of the rainbow.

i have found a family
miles and oceans away,
a family i know
that will make me do nothing
but stay.

i truly believe
that you are made of stardust
and flower petals.

the feeling of knowing
that there are so many fish in the sea
and you are one of them
but sometimes
it feels like
you are just
another tourist
looking through the aquarium window

A fold here,
another there.
I straighten it's wings
to make sure they fly as far as they can.

I swing my arm back,
and let go.

I watch as the wind carries my feelings away.

I hope that the wind carries my heart to you.

people don't settle for the physical.
they want your heart,
your soul,
your energy,
your time.

people don't settle for what's underneath your skin.
they want your words,
your touch,
your eyes on them only.

people don't settle for what's real.
they want angels,
gods,
super humans.
the ones who don't have limits.
the ones you can never fathom.

it's at times like these
that i'm completely convinced
that you're my answer

hey mister
i've been looking all over for this one thing
it's not under my bed
or my pillows
it's not in my jacket pocket
or my bag
it's not in my book shelf
or in between the millions of pages
it's not where it should be

hey mister
can you show me your hands?
i think you took my heart with you

My head,
that used to dream of darkness and the bad,
now only dreams of you.

I wake up,
a headache rises in the depths of my brain.
I seek the warmth of the person I still long to hold.

I wish you were here.

today,
i passed by a stranger.

she looked worried,
eyebrows bunched together forming little lines in between.

today,
i passed by the same stranger.

she look tired,
skin pale and lips peeling.

today,
i passed by the stranger once again.

she looked happy,
eyes as bright as the sun and teeth baring its refreshing white.

today,
i realized time does wonders for everyone.

the gray, dull me a few days ago was replaced by the shocking yellow i am and will forever be.

tell me,
does it look like i'm already in love with you?

can you tell
that i've replaced all the stars in the sky
with every single piece of your galaxy?

don't look at me
with those eyes that
were born from the sun.

don't hold my hand
and promise me adventures
of never ending wonder.

don't smile at me
and tell me words
that i cannot decipher
as truths or lies.

just don't,
i might end up loving you more than i do tonight.

He walks,
unaware of the eyes that follow each step,
unaware of the hearts he absentmindedly carries in tow.

That boy,
what a beautiful diamond he is.

He shines so, so, so bright
that I'm almost blinded.

Almost, because if I let myself get blinded,
I'll risk never seeing the boy that has become the muse of my work.

I see him everywhere;
in the spaces between each star,
in the pages of the books I have yet to discover.

I believe that the world works wonders,
and what a wonder that boy is.

i was never good at
explaining how i feel
through words.

which is why it surprises me
how easy every syllable comes
and goes
when i hear your name.

i give
and give
and continue to give
even if i know it hurts,
even if it hurts
and keeps on hurting.

this is what's sad about
loving too much.
you give your all,
every single inch of skin,
every single tick of the clock,
every single breath i breathe.

and i know it hurts,
and it will keep on hurting.

but that is what love is.
finding the end to the hurt
until the only thing you feel
is peace.

take my heart in pieces
and wave them around
for the world to see
that i have a heart
completely stolen from me.

the night is not that young
but if given the chance to be with you
then this night would turn into eternity.

Ideas
that I have yet to form
are already at the tip of my tongue.

So, so close
am I to finding out what my next imaginary tale will be.

There it is,
I see it.

I'm reaching out,
the tips of my shaky fingers graze the warm glass.

I stretch,
and stretch,
and stretch.

I fall,
it falls and shatters, too.

So, so close
was I to finally knowing what my next dream would be.

they say taking is always easier.
i now know that the saying holds more truth
than i expected it to be.

giving means
spending your time.

giving means
sharing a small part of yourself,
may it be a small cell or even your spirit.

giving means
entrusting a person
to hold something
that could be of importance to you or to others.

giving means
saying goodbye to something
that was once in the warmth of your own hands.

through the act of giving,
we are letting others obtain the freedom of having something
that could've been yours, or has already been yours.

it takes a lot to be able to even think of giving,
because you don't know what you could've had
yet chose to part from.

i hope we all give this christmas,
and that we have the courage to face whatever happens
after giving away a piece of our time, hearts, and spirits.

there is this someone
who faced the world
as if she was the daughter of ares.

she is as strong as her name.

she fights,
and falls,
and stands back up again.

through this endless cycle,
i see glimpses
of hopelessness and loss.

and i wish
that as she grows into a better warrior,
she realizes that she is not alone in this war,
for there are thousands of people
waiting and praying
for her to reach her victory.

do you want to know a secret?
when you smile
the stars glow brighter
because they want to prove that they could be brighter than you.
when you walk
the flowers that watch you get jealous
because how could the amount of beauty you hold outnumber the amount of petals they have?

do you want to know a secret?
when you look my way
my heart aches
because i can't believe you are close enough for me to grab,
close enough for me to tell you
i love you
and no star or flower can ever beat the love i have reserved for you.

we run and run
through the spotlights
under the street lamps
and the trials of what is yet to come.

you and i have gone a long way:
you were there when the girl who
first stole my heart
had shared a milkshake on
red leather seats,
and when the same girl left
without me
after paying her bill.

the night is young,
our neighbors are nowhere but in the land
that their heads paint as they sleep;
you and i become artists of the sidewalks and
the rough concrete.

we leave our mark.

"long live the thieves of the street."