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2.3k · Oct 2018
Days
Bansi Adroja Oct 2018
Do you ever count the bad days
and wonder why
you let those hours pass you by

Why get out from under the covers
the comfort of memory foam
and the cold side of the pillow

Why sit in traffic
listening to those same over played songs
wanting to scream at the top of your lungs
at the changing lights

Why sit at a desk
with almost strangers
checking for the count down to lunch
or any type of break
from the relentless machine
of the everyday

Why not pack up and leave
move to a place where you count
do something that matters
without a six am alarm
but that's just another thought
to pass the day
A Poem a Day
2.0k · Aug 2018
Wolves
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
You're a little boy trapped
stuck in a moment
buried decades ago
on a summers day
when everything changed

You're an angry man
stuck in his old ways
bar fights and cheap dates
nothing new these days
just more of the same

You're as damaged
or as mended
as you want to be
depending on the light
or who caught your eye

You're a lone wolf
with no place to call home
and no need to hold on
I want to love you until it hurts
I don't want to let you go
A Poem a Day : Fifteen
1.3k · Aug 2018
Monsters
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We all have our own monsters

In our homes
In our heads

Darkness we can't chase away
With bottles of *****

The kind that drag us down
Further than we've ever known

Feeling that something's missing
That fear that leaves us all alone
A Poem a Day : Twelve
1.1k · Jun 2020
Depression
Bansi Adroja Jun 2020
Depression is
a life lived under water
numb to feeling
robbed of sound
falling
rising in the tide
at the whim of the waves
heavy
and hopeless
Depression
927 · Dec 2018
Blue
Bansi Adroja Dec 2018
He told me he loved me
on a Tuesday night
sometime in summer

Straight after work
heels kicked off
a ball on the sofa

He told me he loved me
and I felt light
like running

My heart is a stone
heavy
unmoving

It doesn't care for
pretty blue eyes
or his pretty little lies
A Poem a Day: Fear of Intimacy
897 · Oct 2019
Belong
Bansi Adroja Oct 2019
You belong to the credit card statements on your coffee table
to your bosses emails at 7pm
to plans you can't cancel
to conversations that just don't end

You belong to morning commutes
to browsing produce same time every Tuesday
to the caffeine fix it you missed
to sad days you want to escape

You belong to everything
but you
Belonging
877 · Aug 2018
James
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
James I'm in love with the idea of you
I think about it all the time
who I'd like you to be
in this sad little life of mine

The knight in shining armour
saving me from a burning building
chasing away all of the demons
without all of the posions
no more bottles of whisky needed
A Poem a Day : Nine
866 · Aug 2018
Rewind
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
I try to reset sometimes

Wind back the cassette to before
that rainy November day
to when I didn't feel lost
without you
holding me down
keeping me anchored

I close my eyes to see the fine details
the loud confidence
the smell of rain on your skin
the can of beer in your hand
how you took my hands
like a winter coat against the cold

I go back and chose an empty seat
or don't talk about the traffic
how glad we were it was Friday
I would never have heard you laugh
seen the way you look in love

We fit
And I wish I could undo it
A Poem a Day : Sixteen
705 · Oct 2018
Toys
Bansi Adroja Oct 2018
I keep you in my back pocket
for lonely Sunday evenings
or Tuesdays when he doesn't come home
when he's busy with something else
someone else

You hate me for it
and I hate me too
for calling when I shouldn't
for needing you
when I really shouldn't
A Poem a Day : Guity 3am Phone Lines
704 · Oct 2018
Lost
Bansi Adroja Oct 2018
Sometimes I want to crawl
out of my skin
into a beach body
sun kissed perfection

Lost somewhere out at sea
amongst nothing but rolling waves
miles of silence
and occasional stillness

No longer existing
far away from dry land
and all of the anchors
scattered in family ties
and at nine to five desks
A Poem a Day : On a particularly bad day
646 · Jul 2018
Want
Bansi Adroja Jul 2018
I want you
your strange habits
your bad moods
the stories you tell on Friday nights
after a beer
or six
the sound of your voice first thing
breakfast in the sun
stolen days in bed
the pace of your heartbeat
lost under covers and clouds

Oh, I want you
A Poem a Day : One
646 · Apr 17
Sleep
Bansi Adroja Apr 17
Sometimes I talk in my sleep
more than I do in reality

in a haze of make believe
some particular deceit

woven in amongst fears
and doubts  

stories of better days
daydreams noted down
Sleep deprivation
642 · Aug 2018
Sherbets
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We were addicted to strawberry creams
And lemon sherbets
Searching for anything with a sugar rush

Our jumpers tied around our waists
Dragging textbooks and revision notes
Across gravel on summer days
Counting down till it would all be over

There was a world out there
With dragons and knights in shining armour
Or pant suits and project meetings
Depending on who you asked
Or who you were at the time

We wore black and talked about death
Or wished the short days wouldn’t end
At the back of the music block where no one would see
The smell of cigarette smoke on our breath
First kisses and first heart breaks were had

A life time ago but we still have strawberry creams
and those lemon sherbets
A Poem a Day : Eight
558 · Aug 2018
Still
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
While you stay still
the world keeps spinning
without end
without regard
without repent

Everything is different from one day
to the next
friends move on, move away
lovers pass through
not stopping
not staying

But you stay still

People learn and start anew
new feelings
new findings
a brand new place to be

But you stay still
wondering if its ever going to change
if you'll ever be like them
happy
content

There's a pace to life
steps to follow
but you stay still
A Poem a Day : Nineteen
558 · Sep 30
Dark
Bansi Adroja Sep 30
I miss the summer
when I couldn’t stop thinking about you
falling asleep to your voice at 3am
sharing stories of who we’d been
before that day in October
in the cold and the rain

I miss that feeling
of being safe wrapped up in your arms
in the back of the pub
when it felt like my world was falling apart
hiding away from everything

Before it all went dark
473 · Oct 2018
Simplicity
Bansi Adroja Oct 2018
I miss the simplicty
of being yours
being young
in the back of class rooms
in tragic classic novels
with folded down pages
something you always hated
the songs about heartbreak
autumnal sunsets
champagne coloured skies
perfection at the horizon
A Poem a Day : Nostaliga Revisited
471 · Aug 2018
Settling
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
Settling;
there is nothing wrong with it
being comfortable
just being ok

It's not worth rocking the boat
No sparks
No fireworks or fights

It could be different to the past
He could be the one that stays
when it gets boring
when there is nothing to talk about

It could be good enough
He is predicatable at times
but everyone can become tiresome after a while

He isn't you
But in the end you weren't either

Maybe this is it
how it should be
how it's going to be

I guess this is it
I have decided to settle
A Poem a Day : Thirteen
464 · Aug 2018
Fading
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We are the secerets we keep
the songs we dance to in the kitchen
when no one else is home
the drunken kisses at parties
we told our parents we weren't going to
the regular nightmares that make us want to run

We are the things we want
when no one else is looking
the second slice of cake
the quiet lazy days we crave
all of the pet peeves
we still hold grudges for

To me you are who you were
in the park last summer
after two glasses of wine
holding hands while the light
faded out
A Poem a Day : Six
462 · Apr 2019
Stargazer
Bansi Adroja Apr 2019
I was a stargazer
sky watcher
full of hope
tracing pictures in clouds
(cats on surfboards and such)
with bright sunlight
or deep blue midnight
until it ended
with a crushing sunrise
A Poem a Day: Return from the abyss
454 · May 6
Adrift
Bansi Adroja May 6
We used to picture a life at sea
at the mercy of the waves
and the setting sun
lost under stars
drifting further apart
contained in a space
too small
for the tragedies  
told by aching hearts
We had a plan
434 · Nov 2018
Existance
Bansi Adroja Nov 2018
It's a funny feeling
not wanting to exist
it's overpowering
suffocating
but I feel it

Laying still at midnight
wishing away time
for it all to stop
the anxiety
the constant drowning

What a waste of sunlight
what a strange way to be
A Poem a Day: Depression
395 · Aug 2018
Blood
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We are our blood
all of the family ties that bind us
keep us in our place

In the same country towns
on roads we walked with backpacks
dreaming of the beyond

The things we said we'd do
to keep our parents happy
the school plays and good grades

Sometimes it's all too much
being the good one
or knowing you have to grow up

Sometimes there is nothing more
than being nameless in the wilderness
with no expectations to weigh us down
with no scars from the past

born brand new
A Poem a Day : Three
390 · Oct 7
Blip
Bansi Adroja Oct 7
It was just a momentary blip
when I saw you for who you are

A lapse in my better judgement
to have listened to you
and heard the words you said
instead of editing it all in my head

So we look like a movie

So we look like we’re in love
389 · Aug 2018
Mother
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We're the same in a way
the same eyes
the same bad temperament
but I'm a mess
you can't clean up
and you hate that
no lemony freshness could work
on the broken hearts
day dreams spilt in ink
the time wasted searching
for something that matters
A Poem a Day : Ten
373 · Oct 8
Champagne
Bansi Adroja Oct 8
I can blame the champagne
for signing my heart away
to cheap thrills
bruised knees

On the back of your motorbike
riding through the city
as if life made sense

The Springsteen records you played
were stuck in my head

Just like you
354 · Feb 2019
Wilderness
Bansi Adroja Feb 2019
We're all just zeros and ones
on a mailing list somewhere
we signed up for
on a whim

Waiting for days to pass
into darkness and oblivion
because who knows
if we matter
in the grand scheme of things

Against this background
of wars and weather change
we fight battles with paperwork
who's turn it was
to load the dishwasher

Who would notice
if we disappeared
lost in the wilderness
A Poem a Day: Monday Mood
350 · Oct 1
Crush
Bansi Adroja Oct 1
Kids still smoke under the tree
where we used to hide between classes
where I told Tom I loved him
a life time ago
but it still feels like who I am
the girl with the crush on the guy in the band
Crush
347 · Oct 2018
Six
Bansi Adroja Oct 2018
Six
We're painfully predictable
don't you think?
half a decade
plus some change
of this same insane
almost love story

We make plans we won't keep
the house by the sea
just simple nights on the sofa
or star gazing somewhere
we're just so tired
and it's been so long
we're all talk
we always have been

We fight about nothing
on the quiet days
just to fill the gaps
and as an excuse to make up
but still there's so much
radio silence
screaming
pining
lust

love
A Poem a Day : Six Years
335 · Jul 2019
Dizzy
Bansi Adroja Jul 2019
I still think about when we first met
sometime in late  October
with rain in your hair
the sound of a beer cracking open
the sinking feeling
of just knowing
A poem stuck in my head.
332 · Aug 2018
Then
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
I want a Sunday morning kind of life
coffee on the porch
pile of pillows in bed
the newspaper folded the way you always did

Those days wasted
talking about heading for the coast
living in the sand and sea
your skin on mine
in perfect pace

I want just another one of those days
with ice cream on your chin
and the grass between our toes
the smell of lavander or honeysuckle
long walks in the sun
A Poem a Day : Four
326 · Nov 2019
Hibernation
Bansi Adroja Nov 2019
The city always reminds me of you
amber leaves in Hyde Park
your coffee under the trees keeping my hands warm

Our nervous laughs
all the way to our love lost somewhere in the dark
cold shoulders through phone fights

But we never walk away
from a chance of feeling something
like that first date

Hearts out of hibernation

I loved you from that moment
our borrowed time
lost in October sunshine
Far from perfection
325 · Sep 2018
Summer
Bansi Adroja Sep 2018
The summer is a dream
heat through open windows
on lazy, restless nights
bringing out the best
and the worst

The summer is a storm
just waiting to happening
breaking the silence of clear skies
falling against dusty concrete

The summer reminds me of youth
days spend in parks
pretending to be warriors
fighting the monsters
on the other side of the swings
A Poem A Day
311 · Aug 2018
Paramour
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
Do you ever think about me
during Sunday lunches or at piano rectials
of holding hands in the dark
our bodies against each other

Do you ever feel like you're missing out
while you're pretending
to be who are you out there  

Do you ever look at the ring
on your left hand and wonder
what if it had been us
A Poem a Day : Seventeen
299 · Apr 29
Weather
Bansi Adroja Apr 29
We fell in love in October
sharing laughs
and lemon sherbets

while everyone else faded away

We fell in love in the dark
when breathing hurt
and every day was the same

stuck alone with our pasts

We fell in love in the rain
waiting for the clouds to clear
and for weather to change

we fell in love when we shouldn't have done

but we wouldn't want it to change
Off the cuff
291 · Aug 2018
Never
Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
You never say the right thing
but like a desert
like a drought
I wait for rain
for a dramatic declaration of love
for an apology
that never comes

You always walk away
at the worst time
when I need you to stay
but still I wait
A Poem a Day : Eighteen
290 · Jul 10
Film
Bansi Adroja Jul 10
It felt like a film

Those rose tinted days in the city
the rush at Liverpool Street
running late on my twenty first birthday
waiting on the circle line
in the cold winter sunshine
I remember coffee in the tiny cafe
when everyone turned to look at us laugh

It felt as if the world made sense
as if we’d found the place we needed to be
tucked away in a corner sharing stories
as if we’d known each other forever
like soul mates made of the same star
I knew I never wanted to leave your side
Memories that make me weepy
278 · Feb 2020
Lunacy
Bansi Adroja Feb 2020
We lose each other in the chaos
the everyday shopping lists
the never ending conference calls
the things that feel pointless
empty

When we finally stop to
breathe
to feel

Momentary sanity
amid suffocating lunacy
of it always being everything else
over us
Midweek mood
270 · Feb 2019
Wish
Bansi Adroja Feb 2019
You stand in the school yard
waiting for the bell to ring
for the day to disappear
they tell you not to
wish away your life
but you want to be someone
outside of those gates

These will be the days
you ant back later in life
they tell you
but you're not so sure

They don't tell you
about 9am tedium
hours spent in traffic
endless forms about taxes

Days lost behind your desk
watching the clock
wishing for the day to end
as you keep your head above
the bills, deadlines
and desperately needed alone time
A Poem a Day: Sunday Blues
269 · Jul 16
21
Bansi Adroja Jul 16
21
Life was simple at twenty-one
there was hope for us
there was a chance we’d be
all of the things we promised we’d be
living on the coast
tangled in each other's arms
under skies full of stars
watching the waves roll in  
a world away from anyone
anything we know
Memories I will always want to relive
264 · Jan 2019
Caught
Bansi Adroja Jan 2019
We're halfway between
two different worlds
caught up amongst the chaos
of all the colours
fighting against the dark side
of cigarettes at the back
of the bars we shouldn't be in
glasses of gin or something
more like liquid guilt
A Poem a Day: Finally starting 2019
263 · Feb 2019
Home
Bansi Adroja Feb 2019
I love the idea of us
having a place of our own
somewhere to share discussions
about the meaning of life
and drink good wine
a place we can hide
from the world
and all of it's cruelties

I imagine us choosing the paint
or the perfect coffee table
being content with the small act
of decisive stability
we chose to be there
together
in the place
that feels like home
A Poem a Day: Day dreaming home
258 · Dec 2018
Dreamscape
Bansi Adroja Dec 2018
It's odd how much people change
old friends from childhood
feel like strangers
and you wonder
whatever happened to them

I have changed too
detached from myself in a way
it's almost uncomfortable
not feeling like me
like a dreamscape
it is almost somewhere safe
A Poem a Day: Disassociation 101
255 · Jul 4
Thoughts
Bansi Adroja Jul 4
I think about us in the dark
walking the back streets in the city
taking the long way home
hand in hand
sharing laughs and whispers
full of hope

I think about us
in a tiny house in the country
we'd rattle about in our old age
with climbing roses
and rocking chairs on the porch

I think about us
on lazy Sunday mornings
in perfect sleep drunk silence
your favourite black coffee
the crossword puzzles I never finish
just in a haze

I think about us
and sometimes it hurts
because of who we are
A distant past and a hazy future
251 · Feb 2020
Edge
Bansi Adroja Feb 2020
The smell of your shirt
when you talked me down from the edge
the middle of winter
in an overcrowded pub
has been my sanity

The sound of your voice
on a crowded bus late Friday night
my escape from reality
from the moment we met
you've been the one
who saved me
Nostalgic and sad
250 · Aug 2019
Shore
Bansi Adroja Aug 2019
We are always falling together
like the waves and shore
pulling apart
at every opportunity
but addicted to each other
in a way only we know
under the moonlight
waiting for a sunrise
on and on
we go
It's just you.
250 · Nov 2019
Jaded
Bansi Adroja Nov 2019
I keep you in my pocket
a constant charm
reminder of the good times
old days
spent young and foolish
in the summer sun
living in love songs
forever
all night long
we go on...
Opposite day
247 · Aug 2020
Digital
Bansi Adroja Aug 2020
I am fading from real life
turning into notifications
an unread inbox
of messages with emojis
(instead of emotion)
stuck behind blue light
just a digital version
of hope and hurt
Working From Home
242 · Jan 4
Fantasy
Bansi Adroja Jan 4
You are the feeling of walking in the cold
wrapped up in scarves and winter coats
a familiar song playing
at full volume in my ears
each step detached from the world
held in suspension from reality
as weightless as the sunlight

You are the fifth drink on a Friday night
hidden in the corner booth
in the same old bar
with the same stories retold
and the same laughs we always get
familiarity like warmth
like a whiskey

You are a fantasy
a safety blanket
just a nice place to be
Lust
239 · Sep 2018
Bittersweet
Bansi Adroja Sep 2018
You're a firework
a momentary thing of beauty
on cold nights
under amber city lights

You're a leaving train
when you're already running late
loud
and endlesly frustrating

You're an alarm
on a Sunday morning
with the cold side of the pillow
putting the day on snooze

You're rain
with a forecast for summer
or the cup of tea
and you're feet up
at the end of it all

You're everything wonderful
but terrible all the same
A Poem a Day
236 · Feb 2019
Promises
Bansi Adroja Feb 2019
Wanting is a strange feeling
an abstract emotion
that can tie you up
in all sorts of ways
days undercover hiding
or running away
from a ghost
a promise
something tangible
A Poem a Day: What do you want from life?
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