I believed
Everything you told me
And
You let me

I can’t

I accidentally injured myself

I fractured my motivation

What do I have on this empty white surface
This wordless page mocks my pen
There is no life, there is no death
There is only... (dot, dot, dot)

Emotionless indifference pulled to the unknown
A course not yet plotted
A map, as yet, undrawn
Precision of thought can't connect the dots
There is only... (dot, dot, dot)

No fear or apprehension
A new world awaits
The first step, a new life
Still, there is an unwritten story
And I am mocked by this empty white page
There is only... (dot, dot, dot)

The blue rain of obscurity
Blurs the edges of reality
Turns a deluge of insecurity
Into fissures of abnormality
And disappointed purity
that decays the personality

Blindsided by near tragedy
Bullied by unanswered questions
Elation tempered with doubt
Too frightened to be free
Best attempts continue to fail
Escaping to nothing
Nothing in return
Empty or just too full to feel
Irreplaceable time
Withering and wasted
Searching beyond hope
Looking for the good
Holding on to rainbows
Spontaneity dies slowly
Restless minds swim too fast
Shades of yellow in a fog
No memory of yesterday
Pulled back into now
Unable to process more emotion
Unstoppable floods
Undeniable bonds
Unwanted feelings
Unconditional everything
Emotional vampirism and parasitic tendencies
Leave nothing behind
Overwhelming need to help
Bound by limits
Pulled by love
Torn apart slowly
Unable to heal
Unable to deal
Left bone dry and used
No one to blame
No cycle to break
Taking your sorrow
Swallowing your pain
Carrying your suffering away from you
As you heal I disappear

Overcast, sunless
Visibly silent screaming
Parched, now overjoyed

In Your smile is born my very breath
I give you all i have to give
Your lies have brought about my death
For trust has no place left to live

Silence screams its cries of pain
Realized only in the darkest corners
Flashes of electric blue bear witness
The crack shatters the silence
And deafens the pain...momentarily
Caught off guard, the tempest shifts
Whirling cyclone through smokey heart
Dust clouds of ancient barricades crumbling
The darkness grows to an eclipse
Quietly, patiently, time passes so slowly it seems to rewind
Footsteps softened, neigh, silenced by the thickening dust
It settles quickly, as mottled shades of gray
Begin replacing the true absence of light
Sliver by blinding sliver it penetrates
Searing, in it's obtrusive insistence
Piercing both heart and soul
Killing the blind peace
With hope disguised as fear

Saddened by fear of the unknown
Frightened for all that might be
Drowning in the sludge caused by maybe
Fighting to ignore what they see
Everyone has an opinion
Worries kept in closed fist
Tired of choking on the empty
Misunderstandings give way to be ******
Struggling to make sense of the senseless
The worst thoughts darken the mind
Discouraged by the time that's been wasted
Distraction would be quite a find

Vowed forever
Forever ago
Still my love stands
It can't be settling if it's real
Or so I allowed myself, too readily, to believe
Princes and fairytales are to be outgrown
Taught independence and choice
By a society that has given up
On the higher meanings in life
Yet, here you are
A heart that beats as mine does
A soul that is part of my own
A person complete with me, in me
I am whole
I have seen the past
I believe in the future
I have finally been found
Without being allowed to believe
I was ever lost
We are as one through time
But this time,
I have been found vowed forever
Forever ago

Words flow easily
No nervous laughter
No fear
A smile becomes a rainbow in a still gray sky
Laughter is life's liquor
Relaxing inhibitions with comfort
Making the seemingly impossible, less so
Your smile is everything
Shining like the stars in a navy sky
That twinkle in your eye, for me alone
Is brighter than a thousand full moons
So we laugh,
Do I dare believe
Feeling drunk in the moment
Blissful where happiness once eluded
May these moments link together
In an endless string of perfect pearls
I live to make you laugh,
To laugh together
I am life's alcoholic

A glance full of fire
Smoldering in your embrace
Burning through my soul

Can I live in your embrace
Safe within your loving arms

Can I live in your embrace
Beguiled by your charms

Can I live in your embrace
Left to smolder unafraid

Can I live in your embrace
Where true passion never fades

Can I live in your embrace
To find the joy in things unkind

Can I live in your embrace
And you can live in mine

In the silence of a day like today
In the wake of yesterday's dreams
Forgetfulness feels like noncompliance
In a world where defiance still seems
Like a benign inaction of innocence
Though it feels like a stabbing of spite
Willing to kneel to your Goddess
Yet unable to yeild to Her might
There is no weakness to worship at Her altar
It takes strength to relinquish control
Relax and trust in the knowledge
Acquiesce and watch it unfold
There is freedom in the smile of an angel
There is love to be had all around
There is power in making Her smile
Don't be the sadness beind every frown
Inaction, as innocent as it seems
Breeds disappointment that infects every smile
And all those little requests
Will stop being wanted after awhile
See, for all the deeds left unfinished
And all those tiny tasks left undone
Will chisel away Her hearts desire
Leaving Her another invisible no one
An empty shell of a Goddess
Whose glory, in your heart will remain
While She curses her very existence
Languishing in true-love's refrain

In the shadow of dreams
The silent movement of air
Harkens the arrival of the Spirit of Love
Softly, so as to not disturb a slumber
She slinks into every warm space
Filling the endless void with passion
She pulls the spirit out of the person
To frolic in the distant moonlight
They dance in the essence of hearts
Hearts joined by blood
Lives shared through time
She unites them in dreams, in reality, in life
One soul, one heartbeat, one infinity of love

Crystal ***** and amber smoke
A garden of foxglove and rue
Belladonna fairytales
And there's nothing you can do

Malicious hearts and demon spirits
Wreak havoc come what may
The quiet careless non-believers
Will bow to their dismay

For if a pure path isn't chosen
Either darkness or the light
Then shadows have a firmer grip
On the souls still stuck on "might"

So make a choice, right here and now
Of who you want to be
Standing still, you acquiesce
To the shadows consuming thee

Claimed
Unhidden
A heart laid bare
Words I read in awe
Poets
Unbidden
So want to share
They know who they are
Alone
In darkness
The words were read
A heart leapt off the page
A soul
In starkness
An empty bed
The wisdom of a sage

There is a light
In that light, there is clarity
With clarity, one can see
The error of their ways
The truth of who they are
Their deepest desires
With clarity
One can become
Who they were always meant to be
One only has to open their eyes
To see

Last minute rendezvous
No time to plan
Letting time unfold
Embracing each moment
Living in the now
No thoughts of tomorrow
Happiness in the everyday

At one time, for a time
The flowers danced beside me
The fields swayed with the music of our hearts

At one time, for a time
My heart was overflowing
Knowing love would never leave us part

At one time, for a time
There never was a question
Doubt was simply a word we never felt

At one time, for a time
The ugly glistened lovely
For through your eyes the darkness seemed to melt

At one time, for a time
The ladybug would giggle
As it flew in loops around your smile

At one time, for a time
Your love would heal my sadness
Oh to live that one time, for awhile

Tie-dyed psychedelic swirling thoughts
Mid-day nightmares tied in knots
Jagged edges of broken minds
Untamed beauty so unkind
Honey sweet and sappy places
Charcoal eyes on empty faces
Inside ugly seeps through perfection
Blocking daylights warm reflection
Chasing nothing standing still
Raining brimstone breaks the will
Held fast in place by testimony
Indecipherable real or phony
Undependable instincts and cloudy vision
Inhibits any and all decisions
Hand-mixed daydreams light and creamy
Candy coated happiness, all is dreamy

Words blur
Eyes burn
Thoughts implode
Melting under molten memories
The day I stopped being Her

As we are joined
We swear an eternity
Sharing our dreams
Our joy
Our pain
Our shame
Our sorrow
And most of all
Our love

For it is in that love,
Born of a shared heart
And a soul that is complete
Only within each other,
That pain is healed,
Shame is vanquished,
And sorrow is nought
But the slightest scar
Dulled by the joy that becomes us...together

As we are now, we shall continue
To be strength in times of need
A shoulder, an ear, a friend without judgment
Honest in all things
We accept each other as we are
Always, in all ways
Encourage each other to be the best we can be
Believe in each other without fail
and to always be the silver lining
Should a cloud seem gray

We will be unceasing champions of our love
Examples of truth, loyalty, and faith
Honored with a chance to try to make every moment happier than the one before

We stand united unconditionally and irrevocably
Bound to love one another
Without doubt
Without question
And without fail
Always and forever
Through each realm of existence
In time everlasting

Tell me there's a chance;
That elation hasn't eluded us
That love in its purest form
Dwells united in our soul

Tell me we are what we seem
More than any other
We are Stardust and the semblance of time
For it ceases to exist in our reality

Tell me the joy in our hearts
Is fated through eternity
That we are who we have always been
Forever, we will share one heart

A shadow of never was rings true in my heart

fear, loneliness, and anger lead to stress
stress leads to ulcers and anxiety
yelling and screaming absorbed like sponges
short tempers, curt responses, attitudes
nature fights nurture, there is no winner
highlighted things most hated of ourselves
inadvertent lessons learned by innocents
molded by fear, yet still guided by love
can't teach, "do as i say, not as i do"
they do what they see and learn what they live
blind to the effects of our own actions
responsibility belongs to all
more than a person, it takes a village
even more than a village it takes you
it takes you not ignoring what you see
it takes you to offer a helping hand
it takes every one of us to force change
in that change is found hope and strength and help
Community is not a neighborhood
it is not a town or its citizens
and it cannot be fostered in a word
it must grow in the hearts of the people
willingness to care and an open mind
baby steps toward each other today
and a sense of responsibility
tomorrow's flowers are planted today

Through the icy morning
To the sunny afternoon
I find myself looking at you
So far away, yet I remain surrounded
In the warm sun and cool breeze
You tickle my skin happy
In the blue/gray sky that reflects your gaze upon mine
Until finally I am enveloped in dreams of you

Have you ever just wanted to hold someone so desperately, and hope against hope for the days that hugs used be magical and heal all that ails? It is now that a tear falls, because 1000 miles is too far, and my arms aren't long enough, and I can't change that.

We are all depraved
                   You just embrace the darkness
                                          Most choose to ignore

All I want is to hold you and let you eat me alive so that your emptiness is filled with me and you are never alone.

With all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas
The smallest gift was received
Ten words on a page
Joy beyond measure deluged a happy heart
Pieces of a soul....more precious than gold

And in return
With all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas
The smallest gift was given
More excited at the giving
At the anticipation of joy

Waived off upon receipt
Forgotten on a page
Unread pieces of love
Bore holes in a happy heart
Chagrin unassuaged by reluctant glances spurred by pain

Longing for all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas

Crazy reared its many heads
Twisted shades of paisley swirls
Kaleidoscope emotionality
Rollercoaster of fear and love
Through the storms of mushroom clouds
An air of peace remained
For that ever-changing scene
Was founded in the purest love
The realest dream come true
No fear of insanity consuming truth
Truth is kaleidoscopes are beautiful
Never boring by design
There is peace in the knowledge
That crazy is exceptional, brilliant
To know a soul, exciting
And through it all
We traverse the universe as one
Riding the wings of insanity
Skiing across the seas
On the backs of narwhals
Simply because they are awesome

Rolling the dice time after time
Adding up points to bank a roll
Betting the odds in numbers and rhyme
Losing it all starts taking its toll

Betting the odds though it isn't a game
A thousand points at the roll of a die
Losing your heart in a useless hand
As you gamble your love upon a lie

Oh my young one, my baby, My darling, darling boy
I am with you always through tears of pain and joy
Confusion and fear can force the sights unseen
As choked down emotion can make you feel unclean

I know not how to judge you, for all I feel is joy
And i will always love you
My darling, darling boy

In a dream so real with tear-soaked pillows

Is found the answer to a question never asked

Can reality enter through a dream

Or is it just a spoon to stir the ***

Settling of the restless is welcome

Yet the seeming truth is unreliable

Is one to hold on to insight from a dream

Or to try to figure why the dream became at all

the holes run together to make nothing
                                                          that consumes everything

torn to bits with nothing left to rebuild
                            pulling threads from passersby
                                                      gluing them in spit and sparkles

      forming the fabric of a frayed future
hidden behind that toothy grin that blinds the best of 'em

                              a bit of accidental charm and sparkles turn gems
  catching the moon you just hung

besotted sot
    truth like poison thick on spirited tongue

                                    can't believe what the bottles tout
can't  trust liquid truth in ashen breath

dragons of legend breathe Fireball lies
                      that smell of candy and taste like the death
                      of tomorrow's enamoration

It's your love that reaches me first
Long before the scent of you
Or the heat of your flesh

It's your love that reaches me first
Before the soothing sound of your voice
Or your prose meant solely for me

Like distant tinkling bells
Or the scent of orange blossoms on a breeze
It's your love that reaches me first

Open
         *Bare
                  Insecure

A mere *wIncE deals a fatal blow