Whenever you're feeling down
Don't always come with a frown
Come look like a happy clown

Though of course you can't hide it
At least try a bit

But there are people around
Where your happiness is found

The thought of you laughing
is just simply ridiculous
'Cause you won't be laughing
in a sweet moment
The time my revenge
will come out fresh
Shall make me avenge
for the jokes you've played on me

As a fangirl
I go through these daily encounters

Looking at your pictures online
Listening to your music
Watching your shows

Whenever I see your face
A big smile is placed on mine
I get this feeling of hype
That I can not even understand

Sometimes I hate this side of mine
But for some reason
I can't remove it from me

So I appreciate this side of mine
And look forward to what else is in store

I know they're just your friends
And I know that they don't mean anything to you
But even if you say I'm yours
Should I be jealous of others?

You are annoying
For you are toying
This mind of mine
Or the other minds of nine

Stop being silly
'Cause it bothers me really

I hate you for it
I don't seem to like you one bit

You're like a dash of paint
In a new canvas
Bringing color to my world
Because of the love you give

I wanna say "Hi!"
But it comes out as "Bye."
I feel shy to see your face
Or be afraid to feel out of place
I want to be make acquaintance
But I keep putting distance
When I try to get close to you
I retreat everything I do

Though he won
He got bad views
Though he lost
He got good views
The world anticipated
Locals let down
The world saw it
As a fight worth watching

I already proved I'm innocent
Yet you say I'm guilty
Sometimes I don't get you
My mind's messed up
And it's all because of you

You call it weird
I call it normal
What do you even think about
When you see these things
Do you even bother
To mind my hurt
For the things you call weird
Are the most adorable in this world

The secrets I keep
are deep.

I'd say
it's better to keep it at bay.

But you insist
And now you can't resist

The girl who was once a stranger
is now a danger
To You.

I talked to a stranger
It was a gross conversation
But nevertheless fun
Talked about lewd things
Ended up with learning new stuff
I'd keep in mind
That green conversation we had
Could it be useful
For other stuff

Time has passed by,
never forgetting to say "Hi!"
Always passing by,
but there's nothing new to try.

Now time has stopped.
My heart then dropped.

Nowhere I could see,
I couldn't even feel me.

They said I've reached the deadline.
They're taking this life of mine.
I said it was fine.

*Because time never gave me a good time.

That day I realized something obvious.
Something obvious but something I have neglected.
****
I use distractions as ways to feel fine.
But reality hits you,
   it hits you hard.
You think you could get by easily
  but getting to the point of people asking why.
Why are you like this.
Why are you like that.
God, shut up.
I don't want to hear anymore.
I also ask myself why.
I didn't want to be like this. I never asked for gray clouds to cover the skies above me.
But, well, **** that. My mind's ****** up.
Heavens didn't like this either.
I'm not a failure but neither am I a success.
I lost my self in this loathing zone. Such a pity but ******* ******. Sigh.
God, I hate myself.

I need you
Why did you leave me alone?
I need you
Was everything really nothing?
I need you**
You're my everything

Who are you to tell me I'm no good?
***** you
And your classy ways
I'd rather be a pig
Than a trained dog
Be myself
And just let life
Take me far away in this universe of gray

Inside these walls
is a girl afraid.

She does not trust.
She does not hope.
She does not believe.

But one day,
A spark of light came down on her

The walls that hid her
came crashing down.

Her eyes were opened
To a place of new beginnings.
A place were she can start fresh.
A place she can call freedom.

Though I forgot about you
Somewhere I feel know you
A part of me says I know you
Maybe it could be that
What the mind forgets
The heart remembers

You don't have to be strong
Show your weakness sometimes
Sure you'd look stupid
But we are human after all

No matter how grave it is
You can't ignore the past
But you can't relive it
History doesn't repeat itself
The story changes too
The past you had
Is a guide for what you can achieve

We all know the word ship
Like when you pair these two people together
Now I've settled down with many ships
And some of them be fictional
While others involve existent people
I wish they stay together
But I know the harsh reality
But some of them really do
And that ship sails far away

I may be rich
But I'm not a *****
Stop pushing me in
To those like trash bins
Don't want to be judged
Or hold any grudge
Please hear me out
Before I pout

Don't tease me
You think I'm easy?
Was I the only one trying work this out?
I'm sick of you
Goodbye

You laughed awkwardly
Sorry I didn't mean to
Asking who you like randomly
Was a weird thing to do
Curiousity gets ahead of me
So I let it out of me
Wondering who you like
Could be a pain or my happiness

How should I say this
I'm a bit strange?
Nope, not a bit
To be exact.
Just entirely strange.
But the strange is my nature.
The weird is my home.
Insanity is my sanity.

Mondays should never be used for exams.
You get distracted
By the so many things in life that makes you want to jump out of your seat and ***** studying.

Everything was black and white
No sign of colors flashing by
With no emotions in our face
The world is nothing  but a shelter
One came by and flashed a tint of yellow
Enthusiasm came by and spread confidence
Then came red
Gave us the motive to make action
Also came blue
And gave the calmness
Thousands of colors splashed into our world
Bringing up changes in me and and you

Whenever I think of a crush
My mind makes an image of you
I don't even talk to you that much
And I hardly even bother to interact with you
But
Why is it you are the one I think about
Whenever I tell myself
I don't like anyone

By the time I grow up
You will no longer be my hero
Even if you were once
Someone has your place now
But that doesn't mean you're not in my heart

The fear of letting go
The world becomes a different place
The time I was in your arms
You who held me tight
The world felt safe
I loved the feeling of your warmth
But now
Everything's different

whenever i see a worm
i feel like ten years of my life was taken
i used to be okay with them
but now apparently not
they seem to look gross
i cant seem to be not afraid of it
then i loose my cool
and start freaking out
this is why i hate worms

Words that could bring fruits
And words that could bring poison
What kind of poison have I brought to you
They were sugarcoated poisons that sought to be fruits
Kept feeding you on this
However clueless can you be
You've grown fat with all this sugar
You took surprise and anger when you found out
I laughed at how long it took
Now you're dying from the poison
And the fruits lay near rotting

You told me once,
  " I love you."

At first I believed it.
But when you turned your back on me,
I saw what you've been hiding.

The hurt that washed over me.
The shattering sounds I hear in my heart.

The words you spoke
  I no longer believe.

Your love was a lie
I can not defeat.

You looked like Prince Charming
I didn't know what was coming
Letters were sent out to the whole town
Written was an invitation to a ball in the castle
Th brat sisters taunted
The stepmother always evil
Fairy godmother came
And made me beautiful
I danced with the prince
Leaving him hanging by twelve
Left a shoe for a clue
And he searched the whole town
Later found out
I was the one
I saw the prince
Apparently he wasn't the one
I danced with someone else
It was a butler
How'd I end up with him
I have no idea
But for him to be the prince I thought
I declined the real prince's offer
And went for the butler
The prince was sad
I suggested he look at my sisters
For they were desperate
Mother was glad the prince came
But the prince has taken no interest to each of them
The prince kept searching for a wife
Sister's still desperate
Mother just as evil
and I lived happily ever after just fine with my own prince

I talk to myself.
Always in the bathroom
  to my reflection in the mirror.
Sometimes even laughing,
  sometimes even crying.
I don't think it's weird.
I'm sure there are others like me
    Or maybe not?

Being alone
is not that bad
A peace of mind you have at last
Sometimes
People are such a nuisance
That I wish to withdraw from them
Alone I can do nothing
But I could be in relief from other people's expectations

As a person I know
You're usually awkward
And most likely weird
But when you turn serious
My impression of you turns different
I've never seen anyone like you
I never thought you had this side of you
But seeing you like this is foreign to me
I've  become attached to you somehow
And I can't seem to put much into words what I think about you for real

You
In that long sleeved red shirt
And black shorts
Caught my eye
I remember that day
You were a stranger
With your friends
You were behind us
At the line
You repeated the ride like us
About a thousand times
I stole a glance
But that was it
I kept seeing you
For the rest of the day
I know we'll never meet again
But I'll still meet you in that memory
Remembering it

The pain you gave
Was like a thousand bullets being shot
Stop
I understand now
So please
Go away
Far from here
So that I won't have to give in to pain anymore

Not being able to face it is one thing.
Getting over it is another.
But on second thought,
  why even bother?
When it's only been a day
  or the other.

Many people coming in
Should I even say they come here daily
Faces new
I don't even know who
How should I act
With these strangers
Not even given time to
Settle down with the first group
Then comes the other groups
Keep saying "hello" then walk away
I know it's rude
But I just can't interact

The sound of music coming through
And all the thoughts that seems to be
I listen to every word
Happiness. Sadness. Anger.
All these emotions coming through

But sometimes there is no sound
No thoughts coming in
No anything at all
Just silence
Maybe that silence resembles loneliness
Or maybe sadness
Because hearing no sound just is another way of not bothering
'Cause everything already feels like a bother to you

This is the part of the story
Where the hero and his damsel realize each other's feelings
But what if we change it a bit
The damsel loves the hero
But the hero already has another
Quite a shocker for a damsel
Though love finds its way
It cannot be the same
Knowing that there once was another
The damsel let go of the hero
And set off for her own story
This time
The part of this story is that
She is now the heroine

Life is like a video game.
It has controls.
You can restart it.
It has battles between anything around us.
You can dodge an attack.
You can move on to the next level.
But, it's not GAME OVER.
You continue your life on an INFINITE game mode.
You never die.
Unless you quit.

I'm always left undecided
But decisions are just too much for me to bear
I always feel like choosing the other
Will make me feel like regretting the other choice
Now people choose for me
But who am I to say I don't like it
Because with so much time passing
No one would want to waste it