I could keep writing you poems you'll never read

Or I could put my pen down and bandage my own heart

Either way, I would still lose because I wouldn't have you

How do they realistically expect us to flee from the demanding stereotypes forcefully placed above our heads and in our hearts when they find satisfaction in the thrill of conquering our souls bleeding on the cold pavement?
-they don't. stop killing us, please.

Mesmerizing glory.
Snowflakes falling down on us like old memories.
One touch, and you're frozen.
Not because of the hate,
but because of the love.
Sadness is intertwined in our fingertips.
Three words. Eight letters.
I love you.
The words will forever hold true but the fear of them keeps them inside of us.
I cannot bring myself to understand why people are so afraid to love.
Demolishing demons dancing upon bare bodies at night while young women and young men are spending more time on physical interaction than emotional satisfaction.
Satisfied with lusting one's surface is something I can't comprehend,
I'd rather love your core.
My appetite is growing because I'm starving for your soul as if I hadn't had a meal in months..
and to be honest, I haven't.
Because no matter how much I eat, I can't seem to get full.
And no matter how much I drink, i still thirst for more of your mind, your body, and your soul.
I may have lost someone who didn't love me,
But you lost someone who truly loved you.
I am done searching for the light at the end of the tunnel because I have discovered God in the darkness.
I loved you at your darkest.
Slowly flicking a switch to find the bulb had blown out,
I loved all of you..
and all of you loved it.
Reciprocation is all I pray for at night and as day break arose,
I found myself loving the darkness once again.

I love you like a drunk call at 4am on a Saturday night saying I miss you, come back
Psychotically, I love you past pain and broken promises and "I hate yous" and "don't talk to mes"
Even after you decide you are done with me, I will love you.
I will love you until my bones become weak.
I will love at your darkest.
And I will love you until you see the light shining  from you;
The light that shines so bright I am constantly blinded by the suffering your love causes.
But I have found a home within your heart and my car is still parked in the driveway.

Before midnight,
I could die a thousand deaths
and still not know how I'm living to experience this.
Grasping for air;
For I am being suffocated within your existence-
and I love every second of it.
Slowly surpassing every standard I have,
You are breaking every wall;
and I could thank you with a million kisses;
and it still wouldn't be enough.

Wrestling through the sheets I found myself feeling alive.
Your lips have awakened my soul.
Your tongue became the key to the prize that was locked away for so long.
I tremble with just the thought of your touch
As you trace your fingertips down my spine, I am slowly unraveling.
For you do not know about the storm you have just created..
The rain pouring is filled lust and are the only one who can seize this storm.
Baby.
Here we are again;
It's dangerous what we are doing..
Playing in this storm as if the lighting can't touch us.
Whispers of wind can't even stop us.
It's too late.
The storm has just begun.

Your wicked love seems to be the only thing that revives me everytime.
I run away countless times just to wake up in your arms
& your kisses are the poison that continues to run through my bloodstream and
One day, I'll wake up to you and you'll be mine forever
& when sun rises on that morning,
I'll cry a sea of tears that have been trapped inside of me all of these years
And we will make love like fire and there won't be any amount of rain to put us out
We'll travel to Asia and to outer space and we will stay up all night and listen to the ocean..
And frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way because, baby, you're my drunk call at 4am, you're my 143..
You're mine.

Transcending into space, my body is becoming detached  from my mind.
While we have found ourselves separated in body, my mind has not lost you.
I cannot rid my ears of the sweet tune you sang to me no matter how many times I press pause.
Pause, I still love you.
I love you like a drunk call at 4am saying "I miss you, come back."
Psychotically, I love you past pain and broken promises, and "I hate yous" and "don't talk to mes"
Even after you decode you are done with me, I will love you.
I will love you until my bones become marrow.
I will love you at your darkest.
And I will love you until you see the light that i see shining from you;
A light that shines so bright, I am constantly blinded by the suffering your love causes.
Ironically, your wicked tongue is the only cure to the disease bringing upon my downfall,
and your hands are my safe place to run to when I find myself homeless once again.
For, I have found a home within your heart and car is still parked in the driveway..
Drive away from the world for a second and remember who you are, who we are..
A piece of me has pierced your heart, and for that reason alone, you can't seem to get rid of me.

The moon cries
Every Saturday night
Because just like me,
She remembers the
Night we were
Intoxicated in the
Eclipse of our love
And as insane as
The ending was
The whirlwind was
Worth the heartache
And she prays
One day we will
Again find our
Fire
-i still pray for us too

My love blossomed into something new tonight
something powerful and rare
And I figured as long as our rose stayed red
And bright
and new,
We would be just fine

I lost my mind when you died
I don't remember the exact time you left,
but I remember how it felt..
and I promised myself I wouldn't speak of you again,
But today i found myself at your funeral.
Consumed with sorrow, I looked into your eyes'
and it was then I knew you were truly gone.
So lifeless and empty,
I was overpowered with grief,
You need a heart to survive;
and without you I lost half of my heart.
So, consider me half dead.
"For I will love you until we become dust, and I will continue until our dust becomes dust."
I don't know much about physics,
but I can assure you I am physically broken,
and if you looked into my eyes, you wouldn't see anything.
No hope.
Nothing.
All I want to do is feel again.
I am numb, and I can't take away the numbness.
I keep reaching for you and as soon as I get close enough to touch you,
You're gone again.
My last wish was to wake up, reach for you, and you be there laying next to me.
Holding me.
Kissing me.
Loving me.
For eternity.
Because I am eternally in love with you.
But you're dead..
and I'm not sure I can live with that.

The bruises on my body could never compare to the pain in my eyes and my heart may never be fixed like I wished it was and this depression may last a lifetime. But, if I lean on my God, maybe a little bit of Jesus' blood could fall through the cracks of my broken heart and make it whole again.

Blue skies of love
are only in my imagination
now.
Because of the dark clouds
surrounding my heartbreak,
I have yet to know what it is like
to love and be loved in return.

I can recall a time when the sun rose and set in your eyes.
Gloriously, I bathed in your scent and your taste..
and while searching for all of the stars inside of your heart, I found the moon.
When I held you on that warm October night, we rolled in mountains and valleys and rivers and oceans;
and that was the exact moment I knew I found what I was looking for.

Our clothes fell off like rose petals in the spring/
But somewhere in between not getting caught up and catching feelings/
My soul rolled into you/
And now I am immersed in our sin/

I stood still in the mirror absorbing the nakedness in which I was standing and called it my truth.
& I am now hurled over my bath cringing at the sight trapped inside of my memory
(the reflection you two served me was simply unfair)
as you are insulting my
intelligence once more
by cracking every joint in my
body dancing to the rhythm
of your lies, in an attempt to
keep me dormant inside of your madhouse.
-I know you are cheating on me.

Ironic how the only thing to sober me up is the intoxication tasted from your mouth...
and funny how the all of the words I wish to say outloud spew from my mind onto this paper but when you look at me, I'm speechless.

Don't promise me forever because forever never lasts.
Just hold me for the time being so I can cherish this moment.

My love, my forever is spent on your arms..
and in your smile.

But darling, I find that forever exists everytime you whisper
I love you.

The first morning I woke up to your smile, I saw a fleeting glimpse of the sunrise in those beautiful eyes of yours and immediately I was covered in a blanket of relaxation. You kissed stars into every part of my body and now I am covered in your galaxy.

The wine won the battle that night  as I danced uncontrollably in your arms spewing words I would not have said had I been sober
& just like the gentleman you are,
You allowed me to lose myself a little while remaining my compass, and even though you navigated me in every direction, I bravely went along for the ride because these days I feel most safe in your boat, in your ocean, riding your waves.

Peace finds me in
crevice of your arm;
right where my body
intertwines perfectly
with yours.
We have found ourselves
in sync with each other's
circadian rhythms
in love;
and while most of us are
composed of tiny atoms;
you, my sweetheart, are encompassed with this
resilient love
as strong as quartz.
My sweet baby,
you selfishly stole
my heart not caring
to ask for permission
and no matter how
smart I claim to be
during the daylight,
all logic goes out the
window during sunset
as soon as you kiss me
six feet under.
-I am dancing in your heaven

Gathering the bits and pieces of your heart as it fell in my lap was admittedly the most precious love I bathed in.

Sweet baby, I am trying to gather my thoughts as I bathe in everything we are; and I admit that these run on sentences I find myself lost in symbolize the ocean we keep drowning in; magically.

& while some would suggest a life jacket, I am happy to bathe here because I am confident you will always gather me as soon as I start to fall apart which makes it easy to admit I would come back love you in another lifetime; unapologetically.

I remember when your favorite thing was love me.
I remember when you couldn't wait to hold me.
I know this life gets crazy,
and I know our love's a little hazy,
but when you're feeling lonely,
you know you can always call me,
and I'll be here waiting in the same spot you left me in saying,
"It's alright if you stay forever with me.
and it's alright if you're waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet
But if you know, if you know
that what we have is real;
then it's alright if you love me tonight.

Take all of me/
Roll me up/
Smoke me/
I could get you so high.

My heart is crying for the **** victims screaming falsetto notes in the dark praying someone will find them and lead them to light...and as much as their father would've loved to protect his baby from that, he simply doesn't have an "S" on his chest.

My heart breaks for the babies born into poverty with three strikes against them...because the government will make it their duty so that it is **** near impossible for those kids to succeed; but there will be some that rise above those stereotypes and those children will become the young women and young men who change the world.

A tear falls every time a woman wakes up, looks at herself in the mirror and has to put makeup on to hide the bruises that came from the man to whom she gave all of her love to.  Equally, my heart breaks for the children that live their life walking eggshells because they don't know when their mommy or daddy will snap next.

I cannot rest until innocent children are no longer being kidnapped and sold as *** slaves, until genocides become a thing of the past, until America really becomes the "land of the free", or until so many of our generations teenagers and young adults stop using guns as fists.

I am praying that the people walking this earth who have every reason to give up on love somehow give it one more shot. I am also praying that the young women and men who have shot down dreams will fight harder than they have ever fought because the world needs more of you. Lord knows we need more of you.

I have a dream that more of us will love in permanent ink. I hope that more people will see that the only thing that can defeat hatred is love, and I pray that every person reading this will decide to join love's side and fight hate. I pray that anyone that feels completely alone realizes they have God.

There will come a day when I will be standing in front of a crowd filled with a rainbow of races, ages, ****** orientations, and I will give my testimony. I will tell those people how I almost gave up. I will tell those people I had family that loved me regardless. I will tell those people that even though they feel as though no one loves them, I love them; and more importantly, God loves them.  I will tell them that one day I decided that the only person in control of my happiness was me, and that is when everything made sense. There will be people whose lives will change because of my story, and that is the day my dream will start to become true.

Ironic how the only thing to sober me up is the intoxication tasted from your mouth.
&
Funny how all of the words I wished to say aloud spew from my mind onto this paper, but when you look at me, I'm speechless.
If I had it my way, the tears fallen from my eyes would become an ocean used to carry you back to me..
&
the boat that carried you would drown you in memories reminding you why we fell in love in the first place..
&
though we haven't spoken in almost a year, it would be as if nothing else mattered but us as I greet you at the shore..
&
somehow, this time as I reach for your hand, you will hold it tighter instead rejecting it like last time..
&
unbelievably, as you utter those three beautiful words from your once beautiful mouth, I will understand that you have loved me all along.

I had a dream you let me explore your heart and
You allowed me to get you so high you never wanted to come down,
And as soon as you landed I was waiting with my arms wide open
Ready to receive anything you were willing to give;
And you loved it.
I loved you, and you loved me.

My heart was painted black for years,
Surrounded by walls of fear, anxiety, and disappointment; you came in and knocked every wall down.
At war with myself, I'm afraid to let gravity take control
"Never regret loving in permanent ink"
Visions of everything we could be are constantly clouding my mind
& even though it seems to be too soon to have thoughts of forever,  if I could run away with you, there isn't one person, place or thing that would stop these feet
The stars don't can't even  compare to the beauty surrounding you..
Every part of your being is what I'm addicted to.
For, you are the strongest drug I'm on right now, and there is nothing that could ween me off of you,
The ****** you shoot through my veins is at it's purest form
scientists study such a creation and are left in amazement; similar to the day you walked in my life...
Feigning for a hit of you to last me a lifetime I won't ever stop chasing that feeling .

even on the days that I am only needing a few stars, you still bring me the entire galaxy