I woke up at 4
from the worst nightmare I've ever had
I glanced at the empty spot next to me
And wished that I could go back to dreaming
Cause even the worst nightmare is better than waking up, realizing that you're gone.

I'm chainsmoking your breath
Filling my lungs with your oxygen
I'm kissing your sweat
Using your body fluids like glycogen
I'm tasting your skin
My lips exploring every inch of you
I see your beauty within
I feel **** when seen from your view
I'm dressed in your shadow
When you meet my body from behind
Everytime you have to go
I wanna hit pause and then rewind
As soon as we're uncovered
I know we'll both be wetter
I love being your lover
When our bodies snare together

I will love you when your ship has sunk
I will love you when you're in a funk
You only love me when you're drunk

I will love you when your wallet's shrunk
I will love you when you've lost your *****
You only love me when you're drunk

So have a shot, have a drink
chug it down without a wink
Have a keg, have a bottle
Drink it down until you throttle

Just get wasted, just get crunked
You only love me when you're drunk

My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******

My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******

I can hear the rumble
As you're floating above me
Through the shattering clouds
Across the separating sea

I'm waiting here with nothing
But my strongly yearning heart
Nothins else will matter now
Cause we're no longer apart

And when I feel your scent
I'll probably fall down and die
Cause my body will not be able
To fit all the joy inside

But you give me mouth to mouth
And I wont see gloom again
Because the taste of your lipse
Gives everything a meaning

We have plans to go outside
But instead we'll just stay home
Cause when I finally get to hold you
I will never let you go

It's been hurting me to love you
Since you've been so far away
But the life we have ahead of us
Will eliminate the pain

We'll make each other happy
Our love will stay intense
We're not the ones we used to be
Suddenly , we make sense

We are the lemmings
marching together towards the edge of the cliff

We are the ants
blindly following each other in the circle of death

We are the bees
sentenced to die for our curiosity

We prey
We ****
We eat
We fight

We are
desperately clinging on to
our pack
our flock
our herd
terrified of facing death
alone

Tried to visit Petrified Forest but my stomach said no
Didn't really mind it cause it didn't have much to show
We drove on route 40 and a hot guy kept following us
When he had waved 20 times we were like "Okay, enough!"
In Flagstaff I got to check in at my very first motel
It was way cooler than the Dallas hotel!
We wanted to get wasted so we went out to find a bar
Some Germans were playing pool, they couldn't speak English at all
Shots! Shots! Shots!
Two of them were actually quite hot.
After some drinks we lost each other in the dark
Thankfully both remembered were the car was parked
Hungover as **** we left for Grand Canyon
I was so excited to see it with my favorite companion
The size of it was greater than I had imagined it to be
and squirrels were practically climbing up my knee
An idiot lady had her dogs locked in the car
***** was lucky that I didn't have a crowbar
Still missed our turkey but deers were walking free
When the heat almost killed us it was time to leave
It was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced
But for Vegas we left to see something completely different!

Tonight we're having a big feast
in the great city of sin
I'm about to unleash the beast
Let this party for players begin

The soft, green cloth beneath my fingers
The shiny deck of cards
The joy when the dealer bust still lingers
Wont you please send my regards

The tingling inside when the Ace says hello
The kick when the King joins in
The Queen is also welcome to the show
And the Jack can bring his twin

Race doesn't matter at this gathering
Both blacks and reds look swell
When diamonds and spades are scattering
You can invite hearts and clubs aswell

The bets are getting higher and higher
My wallet is getting thin
I hardly ever get what I desire
Cause the house will always win

At first I thought I had control
But suddenly I was unstable
I had lost my entire bank roll
At the end of the Black Jack table

Tonight we're having a big feast
in the great city of sin
I'm about to unleash the beast
Let this party for players begin

The soft, green cloth beneath my fingers
The shiny deck of cards
The joy when the dealer bust still lingers
Wont you please send my regards

The tingling inside when the Ace says hello
The kick when the King joins in
The Queen is also welcome to the show
And the Jack can bring his twin

Race doesn't matter at this gathering
Both blacks and reds look swell
When diamonds and spades are scattering
You can invite hearts and clubs aswell

The bets are getting higher and higher
My wallet is getting thin
I hardly ever get what I desire
Cause the house will always win

At first I thought I had control
But suddenly I was unstable
I had lost my entire bank roll
At the end of the Black Jack table

I had a dream last night
I dreamt that I was holding you
in my arms
When I woke up
I realized
that I was spooning
a bottle of ***

Stuck in a drinking rut
On a two week ******
Well actually
It's more like two decades
But I had to work the night shift
January 11th

"You could be by yourself when things were all right, but when you were blue you got the howling horrors.
She commenced drinking alone, little, short drinks all through the day. It blurred sharp things for her. She lived in a haze of it. Her life took on a dream-like quality.
Nothing was astonoshing."

He is now thirty six
Still giving me teenage kicks
Has my favorite of all *****
Body and brain in a perfect mix
Great fingers and great licks
No drugs needed to get my fix
Only John and his bag of tricks

Happy birthday, my love.

I love John, she said, euphemising me to play dead,
I said sure but inside my head I started picturing him in my bed.

Outside the filthiest room I sneakattacked and started to consume,
our lips began to fume and his smile erased the gloom.

Skipped the bread for some red wine, at least it wasnt moonshine,
couldnt walk any further on the line since it felt too ******* fine.

I knew it would be trouble as soon as I got stung by his stubble,
so we formed a brown and grey bubble, made the population double.

I find myself hiding, from all the decorous chiding,
we're foolishly sliding, in our bubble of bliss we're confiding.

Slippin by the sleeping moose, watch the penguins as they snooze,
No need to even zip the ***** since he's the drug I choose to use.

Inhale the scent of his collarbone, entering my safety zone,
watch him while he's getting ******, the smell of ****'s like his cologne.

Catching the sunrise, never knew that it could comprise such a beauty of that size,
but seein' it through his reddish eyes, makes me wanna demise the kingdom down between my thighs,
just give it away to this guy so I can keep on getting surprised by the Castlewood morning skies.

I love John, she said, euphemising me to play dead,
I said sure but inside my head I started picturing him in my bed.

Outside the filthiest room I sneakattacked and started to consume,
our lips began to fume and his smile erased the gloom.

Skipped the bread for some red wine, at least it wasnt moonshine,
couldnt walk any further on the line since it felt too ******* fine.

I knew it would be trouble as soon as I got stung by his stubble,
so we formed a brown and grey bubble, made the population double.

I find myself hiding, from all the decorous chiding,
we're foolishly sliding, in our bubble of bliss we're confiding.

Slippin by the sleeping moose, watch the penguins as they snooze,
No need to even zip the ***** since he's the drug I choose to use.

Inhale the scent of his collarbone, entering my safety zone,
watch him while he's getting ******, the smell of ****'s like his cologne.

Catching the sunrise, never knew that it could comprise such a beauty of that size,
but seein' it through his reddish eyes, makes me wanna demise the kingdom down between my thighs,
just give it away to this guy so I can keep on getting surprised by the Castlewood morning skies.

I love John, she said, euphemising me to play dead,
I said sure but inside my head I started picturing him in my bed.

Outside the filthiest room I sneakattacked and started to consume,
our lips began to fume and his smile erased the gloom.

Skipped the bread for some red wine, at least it wasnt moonshine,
couldnt walk any further on the line since it felt too ******* fine.

I knew it would be trouble as soon as I got stung by his stubble,
so we formed a brown and grey bubble, made the population double.

I find myself hiding, from all the decorous chiding,
we're foolishly sliding, in our bubble of bliss we're confiding.

Slippin by the sleeping moose, watch the penguins as they snooze,
No need to even zip the ***** since he's the drug I choose to use.

Inhale the scent of his collarbone, entering my safety zone,
watch him while he's getting ******, the smell of ****'s like his cologne.

Catching the sunrise, never knew that it could comprise such a beauty of that size,
but seein' it through his reddish eyes, makes me wanna demise the kingdom down between my thighs,
just give it away to this guy so I can keep on getting surprised by the Castlewood morning skies.

As I was running towards
my light in the dark
I realized as the light
got brighter and brighter
that my light
was just a truck
coming at me
my light in the dark...
my light in the dark

The brightest of moons is shining over us
as we take one hundred steps
towards the home of
the philosopher
the musician
the painter
the fishes
the spider

The coldest of winds  is blowing at us
as we are smoking on the balcony
while pondering over
the French man
the plastic bag
the pink book
the city lights
the voyeurs

The greatest of poems are being read by us
as we are drinking wine and juice
while carefully listening to
the repetitive Mexicans
the 5 dollar ******
the thin white duke
the cocktail songs
the local hero

The smell of an old man hits us
as we tumble around in bed
awkwardly discussing
the big soft hands
the great lips
the poetry
the desire
the lust

The sound of the alarm interrupts us
as we are finally face to face
forcing us to stop
the spooning
the laughing
the touching
the kissing
the night

I fumble around in this caliginous den
There's a light up there
If I just climb up this wall
I'll be free
My finger nails are bleeding
I leave scratch marks on the walls
My whole body is aching
As I'm trying my best
To get out of this hole
I'm getting closer
I can feel the air getting thinner
It's easier to breathe
I'm reaching for the edge
Almost there
Suddenly
The two of you appear
You're smiling
She's smiling
I feel the sole of your shoe
As you're kicking me in the face
And I fall
Down
Instantly
I hit the ground
The light burns out
The darkness surrounds me
I am trapped
In this den
And I can't find the strength to climb up these walls again

My love
When you're sick of me
I hope you have a good aim
Or that the knife is really sharp
Or your hands very strong
So you can get it over quick
I dont want to bleed to death slowly
Or gasp for air forever
I just want it to be over fast

Maybe an atomic bomb
would be the nicest way
to end us

It's dangerous when your biggest role models
spent their lives
drinking, smoking and gambling
but maybe it's worth it
if it inspires you to write
something
that is at least 1 % as great as their works
cause 1 % of their greatness
is ******* amazing

The longing for your love possess me like a demon
My heart acts like it wants to be demolished
And when you say that you want to be a free man
My heart can never recover and be polished

Everybody tells me to leave
before it gets worse
'What would you do
if our rolls were reversed'

I'd tell you to get out
cause you deserve so much better
'So why do you keep going back
like one of those annoying chain letters'

Well, I'd rather get a little taste of passion
than no flavor at all
And if I want someone on top of me
I have no one else to call

And when I'm dealing with my selfhating mind
I need someone to silence it
I feel so desperately lonely without him
Even though he treats me like ****

Somehow I prefer getting hurt
over being my own best friend
I know I'm better off without him
Yet I'm terrified that it will end

If I sit here with no one near
When the loneliness is my biggest fear
And my cheek is burnt from that shameful tear
I reach for a can of beer

If I don't feel that I can shine
When I sit here looking for a sign
And I can't find anything that will make me feel fine
I reach for a glass of wine

If I want someone to come
When I want to act real dumb
And I want to shut my thoughts up and feel real numb
I reach for a bottle of ***

If I want to cloud up my brain
When I want to stop feeling pain
And I can't see a way to make my feelings drain
I reach for a glass of champagne

If I want to have a ball
When I have no one to call
And I feel that I'm about to fall
I reach for my best friend - alcohol

For the longest time
I've had this romanticized view of lonesome drinking
I picture someone slowly zippin on a drink
and smoking sophistically
in a dull light
while writing great poetry

But when I've finished my 12th beer
and my 28th cigarette
in a dull light
And the only thing I've written
is something ****** like this

that romantic view is dead

Still I know
that tomorrow
Once my hangover is gone
I will do it all over again

Only lovers can feel the lust
Only loners can feel withdrawn
Only loners can see the dusk
Only lovers can see the dawn

She was called the queen of the night life
Ruling the district of bright light
Where wealth and beauty was well rife
She had the worst kind of man in her sight

Her fortune was all he desired
He had another woman on the side
And for this the gun shots were fired
In a duel that's heard of worldwide

He felt oh so mighty proud
As he watched them fight for his hand
They pulled guns in front of a big crowd
But it didn't go as it was planned

Instead of one madam left as a winner
A bullet grazed his own throat
The punishment for being a sinner
Who failed to one woman devote

I hope you accidently **** in front of your date
I hope when you're on a diet you're still gaining weight
I hope your red shirt dyes your white clothes pink
I hope when you're at the bar you always get the wrong drink
I hope you forget the words whenever you hold a speech
I hope there's no spots left when you go to the beach
I hope you run out of matches when you need a smoke
I hope nobody laughs at your funniest jokes
I hope that when you shave you'll quickly get all furry
I hope you miss the train everytime you're in a hurry
I hope your fruits and vegetables gets bad really quick
I hope your one night stand hasn't showered when you choke on his ****

I made a promise to myself
to never love again
to never open up my heart
and let love drive me insane

Suddenly you were there
and you promised to be true
I gave myself up
when I gave into you

When you said forever
I let my guard down
foolishly believed you
when you said you'd stick around

It didn't take long
before you went away
and left me there in panic
begging you to stay

How many people can you love
before you lose your mind
and your heart turns to ice
leaving all your hope behind

I'll make a promise to myself
to never love again
to never open up my heart
and let love drive me insane



Please keep that promise this time.

It's 10 pm and the heat just hit me
The AC is off but I couldn't be more happy
Touched my first palm tree and dipped my hand in the toilet
Grabbed a cab to the city, on the seat there was a death threat
For breakfast we had Bananas foster, po'boys and hash brown
When Amanda power walked I had to tell her to slow down
By the Mississipi river I drank a peach daquiri
The waitress wanted more tips and across the streets she chased me
Strippers gave me the finger, ****** begged for ******
We were stuck in traffic cause of the constant flash floods
In a Camaro and a Werewolf to creep with vampires and slaves
Talking about plantations by the old family graves
And you were so beautiful under that big oak tree
Even more in the rain outside that locked cemetery
On Bourbon street the homeboys were asking for hugs
And I gave away all my coins to some thugs
We ate jambalaya and fried green tomatoes
The ladies were halfnaked but no one called them hoes
In a blacksmith shop with no electricity
We drank Morgan and got wasted with some other swedes
Wherever we went we felt the smell of ****
From every balcony people were throwing beads
All the ***** sounds were drowned out by the air condition
On the floor Hoyt from True Blood was changing positions
Then Chris slept like a baby when the cockroach sang him lullabies
For some reason it made more sense than "bridge may ice"

It's 10 pm and the heat just hit me
The AC is off but I couldn't be more happy
Touched my first palm tree and dipped my hand in the toilet
Grabbed a cab to the city, on the seat there was a death threat
For breakfast we had Bananas foster, po'boys and hash brown
When Amanda power walked I had to tell her to slow down
By the Mississipi river I drank a peach daquiri
The waitress wanted more tips and across the streets she chased me
Strippers gave me the finger, ****** begged for ******
We were stuck in traffic cause of the constant flash floods
In a Camaro and a Werewolf to creep with vampires and slaves
Talking about plantations by the old family graves
And you were so beautiful under that big oak tree
Even more in the rain outside that locked cemetery
On Bourbon street the homeboys were asking for hugs
And I gave away all my coins to some thugs
We ate jambalaya and fried green tomatoes
The ladies were halfnaked but no one called them hoes
In a blacksmith shop with no electricity
We drank Morgan and got wasted with some other swedes
Wherever we went we felt the smell of ****
From every balcony people were throwing beads
All the ***** sounds were drowned out by the air condition
On the floor Hoyt from True Blood was changing positions
Then Chris slept like a baby when the cockroach sang him lullabies
For some reason it made more sense than "bridge may ice"

When I was 7
I was watching Seinfeld with my dad
I asked him where they were
And he answered
New York
The city seemed so huge

When I was 17
I had my first panic attack
I was always watching *** and the city to calm down
New York
seemed huge
and that made me feel less claustrophobic

When I was 27
I went to
New york
The expectations were high
I was so surprised
when I felt suffocated
Cause it didn't seem huge anymore

What do you do when New York feels small?

"I've never been this in love before"
You say that every time
"This is the most painful heartache I've ever felt"
You say that every time
Maybe you're exaggerating
Maybe you've gone through worse
But that doesn't help you now
because now you're in the middle of it
it's not a sad memory
it's not a faded scar
it's your today, your present, your now
and your now is more painful than all your yesterdays combined

Your ears are like black silk
Your tail is long and proud
Your paws are white as milk
Your fur is as fluffy as a cloud

Right foot, left foot, right
Up and down on my chest
By my side all through the night
Helping me to get my rest

Your nose against my cheeks
Wiping away my tears
Side by side for 512 weeks
Companions for over 10 years

Sniffing your neck is comforting
I don't wanna live without that
Without you I will be suffering
Figaro, my beloved cat

I thought that I'd get through it all
That it wouldn't be so easy to fall
I'm laying here in bed, never felt so small
I know this night will **** me if you don't call

My phone is not on mute but it doesn't make a sound
Didn't think it would take so little to push me to the ground
I'm not even under water, yet it feels like I have drowned
I would reach the surface again  if only you were around

For such a long time I was blind
Thinking that you were a valuable find
You've left a haunting echo in my mind
and it's impossible to leave this **** behind

Hyperventilation
Depleting frustration
Suffocation
A painful sensation
Desperation
Without moderation
Devastation
Eternal damnation
Deprivation
Emotional mutilation
Derealization
Fear escalation
Depersonalization
Self extermination

I'd rather be alone forever
than wasting my life
comparing people
to you

She can take the dark out of the night-time and paint the daytime black

I wish I was still knocked
out
Having ****** up dreams
about
Talking curtains, purple fields and
murk
But the pills no longer
work
My body is way too
used
So resistant I can't even
snooze
Oh how I miss those
days
When I was lost in the
haze
The hallucinations reduced the
pain
The insomnia drives me
insane
Valiums and ***** has no
effect
It used to make me feel
perfect
Tonight when I go to
bed
With too many thoughts in my
head
I will swallow you
anyway
I will hope and I will
pray
That maybe this time I can
sleep
Until my alarm starts to
beep
Dear Stilnoct, this is my
plee
Knock me out and save
me

She threw you under the bus
to get the confirmation of his glance
He changed your name to Bovary
to get a taste of false romance

Circulating the marble floor
You waited for his arrival
You never would have guessed
She'd be the most perfidious rival

His hands were in his pockets
As you reached to touch his skin
He was secretly composing
Untroubled by your grin

You were intoxicated by love
He was drunk on ***
You ignored the signs
Of who he would become

At the fields of concrete
He left without a word
You saw him walk through guarded doorways
Perplexed by what occurred

She swallowed your left overs
While you were drowning in distress
They made fun of your appearance
And your feelings they oppressed

All that you have left now
Is a notion of how it should feel
To be completely consumed by somebody
Instead of being the wistful third wheel

She's all he ever wanted
You're everything she's not
Your heart is his to ruin
And he will never stop

Remember if you meet somebody
Who is all you're dreaming of
That you're safe when you are lonely
You are weak when you're in love

She threw you under the bus
to get the confirmation of his glance
He changed your name to Bovary
to get a taste of false romance

Circulating the marble floor
You waited for his arrival
You never would have guessed
She'd be the most perfidious rival

His hands were in his pockets
As you reached to touch his skin
He was secretly composing
Untroubled by your grin

You were intoxicated by love
He was drunk on ***
You ignored the signs
Of who he would become

At the fields of concrete
He left without a word
You saw him walk through guarded doorways
Perplexed by what occurred

She swallowed your left overs
While you were drowning in distress
They made fun of your appearance
And your feelings they oppressed

All that you have left now
Is a notion of how it should feel
To be completely consumed by somebody
Instead of being the wistful third wheel

She's all he ever wanted
You're everything she's not
Your heart is his to ruin
And he will never stop

Remember if you meet somebody
Who is all you're dreaming of
That you're safe when you are lonely
You are weak when you're in love

She threw you under the bus
to get the confirmation of his glance
He changed your name to Bovary
to get a taste of false romance

Circulating the marble floor
You waited for his arrival
You never would have guessed
She'd be the most perfidious rival

His hands were in his pockets
As you reached to touch his skin
He was secretly composing
Untroubled by your grin

You were intoxicated by love
He was drunk on ***
You ignored the signs
Of who he would become

At the fields of concrete
He left without a word
You saw him walk through guarded doorways
Perplexed by what occurred

She swallowed your left overs
While you were drowning in distress
They made fun of your appearance
And your feelings they oppressed

All that you have left now
Is a notion of how it should feel
To be completely consumed by somebody
Instead of being the wistful third wheel

She's all he ever wanted
You're everything she's not
Your heart is his to ruin
And he will never stop

Remember if you meet somebody
Who is all you're dreaming of
That you're safe when you are lonely
You are weak when you're in love

Skyscrapers and green fields
The opposite of what I had pictured it to be
No dry grass or cactuses
But suddenly a tornado struck Dallas
And we were stuck at the hotel
We were like "oh well!"
No complains, just smiles
Didn't tip the valet guys
Sorry fellas, we're not used to your system yet
The next time we won't forget!
Stopped at Dairy Queen for a banana split
It's too late anyway to try to stay fit
They played the Banjo song from Deliverance
and some gentlemen with Cowboy hats started to dance
Finally I got to see the stereotypes
in the land with the stars and stripes
We missed our turkey but saw some coyotes instead
On every road armadillos lay dead
Waved good bye at the border of New Mexico
Hated to see us leave but loved to watch us go

I'm in love with a boy
Who's in love with a girl
Who's in love with a boy
Who don't love her

A trailer built by vikings
it can never be
sold
The porch is just
some broken
old
wooden pallets
The walls are green with
mold
Spiders hide under
the cushions
And it's either
too hot or too
cold
But if you are there to
hold
me
I wouldn't wanna be
anywhere else
in the world.

I reach for your hand
It's glued to your pocket
I gather some strength
Physically
Emotionally
And I pull your hand up
Im holding it tight
But it's just laying still in my grip
Like the hand of a passed out drunk
Like the hand of a cold, dead body
Like the hand of a man who doesn't want to be held
Like the hand of a man who doesn't love you back

You met him at a party in two thousand seven.
He cheesily asked if you had fallen from heaven
You laughed and said "is that the best you can do?"
He said I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Despite the silly pick up lines, you agreed to dance all night
He walked you home and at the door you gave him an invite
You were kissing til the sunrise and he promised you to call
You texted your best friend, saying, "for this guy, I could fall"

He asked you out the next day, you were excited as can be
You walked hand in hand in the park and carved your names into a tree
Everything felt so perfect and you knew he'd be the one
That would make you feel that with every other guy - you're done

After one year of dating , he asked you to be his
You happily shouted out "YES!" and gave him a big kiss
In a white church you were married, wearing a white dress
It was the wedding you've always dreamt of, truly a success

You moved into a big house, after a few years you got knocked up
You were supposed to be happy but you kind of felt locked up
It was the life you've always imagined, everything was going well
Yet you felt so suffocated, as if you were imprisoned in a cell

You were stuck in a rut, but too comfortable to change it
You knew what it would take but you still wouldn't arrange it
In your big house you were stuck, feeling miserable and numb
But if someone asked you how you were doing you held up your thumb

The sparks that once flew around you, have burnt out long ago
When you were making love, in his eyes there was no glow
You used to be his muse but now you're just his spouse
The passion you once shared is buried beneath the house