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I love John, she said, euphemising me to play dead,
I said sure but inside my head I started picturing him in my bed.

Outside the filthiest room I sneakattacked and started to consume,
our lips began to fume and his smile erased the gloom.

Skipped the bread for some red wine, at least it wasnt moonshine,
couldnt walk any further on the line since it felt too ******* fine.

I knew it would be trouble as soon as I got stung by his stubble,
so we formed a brown and grey bubble, made the population double.

I find myself hiding, from all the decorous chiding,
we're foolishly sliding, in our bubble of bliss we're confiding.

Slippin by the sleeping moose, watch the penguins as they snooze,
No need to even zip the ***** since he's the drug I choose to use.

Inhale the scent of his collarbone, entering my safety zone,
watch him while he's getting ******, the smell of ****'s like his cologne.

Catching the sunrise, never knew that it could comprise such a beauty of that size,
but seein' it through his reddish eyes, makes me wanna demise the kingdom down between my thighs,
just give it away to this guy so I can keep on getting surprised by the Castlewood morning skies.
You met him at a party in two thousand seven.
He cheesily asked if you had fallen from heaven
You laughed and said "is that the best you can do?"
He said I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Despite the silly pick up lines, you agreed to dance all night
He walked you home and at the door you gave him an invite
You were kissing til the sunrise and he promised you to call
You texted your best friend, saying, "for this guy, I could fall"

He asked you out the next day, you were excited as can be
You walked hand in hand in the park and carved your names into a tree
Everything felt so perfect and you knew he'd be the one
That would make you feel that with every other guy - you're done

After one year of dating , he asked you to be his
You happily shouted out "YES!" and gave him a big kiss
In a white church you were married, wearing a white dress
It was the wedding you've always dreamt of, truly a success

You moved into a big house, after a few years you got knocked up
You were supposed to be happy but you kind of felt locked up
It was the life you've always imagined, everything was going well
Yet you felt so suffocated, as if you were imprisoned in a cell

You were stuck in a rut, but too comfortable to change it
You knew what it would take but you still wouldn't arrange it
In your big house you were stuck, feeling miserable and numb
But if someone asked you how you were doing you held up your thumb

The sparks that once flew around you, have burnt out long ago
When you were making love, in his eyes there was no glow
You used to be his muse but now you're just his spouse
The passion you once shared is buried beneath the house
Isn't it funny
how someone can ruin your life over and over again
and then it just takes one phone call
and you run straight back into their arms?
My love
When you're sick of me
I hope you have a good aim
Or that the knife is really sharp
Or your hands very strong
So you can get it over quick
I dont want to bleed to death slowly
Or gasp for air forever
I just want it to be over fast

Maybe an atomic bomb
would be the nicest way
to end us
For the longest time
I've had this romanticized view of lonesome drinking
I picture someone slowly zippin on a drink
and smoking sophistically
in a dull light
while writing great poetry

But when I've finished my 12th beer
and my 28th cigarette
in a dull light
And the only thing I've written
is something ****** like this

that romantic view is dead

Still I know
that tomorrow
Once my hangover is gone
I will do it all over again
Stuck in a drinking rut
On a two week ******
Well actually
It's more like two decades
But I had to work the night shift
January 11th
My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******
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