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Kassandra Hiller Nov 2021
I remember your love, i’ve never felt passion like what was given to me by you.
I was bent into shapes I could never live comfortably, into people I never wanted me to be.
I stayed in your discomfort despite the pain that felt like daggers every time you’d attack me with your words and I agreed this was the price of your love.
Words left your mouth and landed on my skin and I accepted the apologies for every bruise left on my body.
The pain could fade or I could find a way to make it manageable, it was the passion that kept me going, the obsession I mistook for love.
And I’ll look into the eyes of every future love, and make believe it’s you staring back at me.
Grey Rose Nov 2020
What remains in the aftermath of love?

As streets are built without sidewalks
As neighborhoods no longer have use for streetlights

As parks and sunsets turn into myths
As the stories of lies and deceit become the only nursery rhymes we pass on

As *** becomes as mundane as eating bread
And ****** become larger and more frequent than church communions

As ***** become cheaper than blood

As faces become so interchangeable they're impossible to remember
And names turn into secrets

What remains?
When everywhere is no man's land

When childbearing is just a rare, yet escapable punishment from God

When children migrate in swarms between families like birds escaping winter

When love is just but a militarized weapon used for enslavement

When humanity is emancipated from their emotions

Shall we celebrate our independence by clearing our contacts list and changing numbers?

Shall we start each new year by picking a new stranger to stave off our hunger for the night

When we stone those who learned each other's middle names

When we lock away anyone greedy enough to keep someone to themselves
And the married are sent to live in the madhouse

When the war of love have ended
And no one's heart returns home

What remains?
Pete McIntire Jun 2018
It's such an odd feeling;
When you start talking to someone new

The way that you exchange war stories;
To see who's "ex" left the deepest bruise.

Just to remember,
The time that you did that with them too.

I'm not really sure what's up from down.

I have felt this way before.

Then the darkness hits.
That's when life is almost like a mirage.
Like, is any of this real?
I specifically told myself that this isn't the way to deal.

With loneliness,
That's a feeling best described with the lights shut off.
Pete Mcintire
Kassandra Hiller Jul 2017
I look at the bottle in my hands
Am I ready to regret?
The craving builds up in my chest
Not the taste, but to forget

I look over at the man I told myself I loved
How could I do this to him?
Everything that did go wrong
I'm replaying like a film in my head again

I light the tobacco as it hits me in my lungs
The burn is close to what I've been dreaming to feel
Something to help me realize
Something remotely close to real

He looks at me in disbelief
"You're drinking again?"
I look at the bottle that holds the contents of the future of my night
A liquid that can make this feeling end

I'm halfway through my eyes begin to blur
Everything is good, but the feeling of content is stirred
He's still looking at the mess I've made
Within myself, with no one else to blame

The bottle is gone and so am I
I don't feel content with who I am
All of the bitter truth I've yet to come to terms with
When he lies, one day I'll stand
Kassandra Hiller Jul 2017
Do not mind me
Im only trying to find the other side
the one who learned everything

two in the sane
one in their mind
one out again

Alone is not what we handle well
I can't find the hand I once held

but we do know how to pretend
fake a smile, fake a laugh
to get back on your feet again

you can find us in the street
with my nails in my head
and her face in her knees

trying to rip the skin we let grow
over the shell of the ones we used to know
Kassandra Hiller Jul 2017
The face in the mirror doesn't look the same
I can't figure out where I went wrong
I'm taking it in, taking the blame
Slowly letting go of the hand I knew all along
I'm drinking myself to sleep
I'm falling in love with people I meet
Just to destroy it all
afteryourimbaud Jun 2017
this world poetry day
is meaningless,
Maya, Charles, Sylvia, Allen
never even thought of it
it breeds more seed of
ego and monstrosity
deep inside those men
to lift their hands and
push us down the drain
to ensure that
we are stuck in between
honesty and reality,
Kassandra Hiller Apr 2017
When it comes to enough
I was never in the mix
Like a glass half full
I was the air hovering over it

I closed the mind who wanted to learn
More than my eyes could portray in the world

I shut my eyes and spent time in my head
built a life with a home
I liked better than my own skin

you're wrong
you're not enough
have you gone mad?

I was
To believe the enemy in my bed could give me love

Blank stares
Empty thoughts
Empty hearts
Thick skin

Building up the walls in my head just to feel safe in
These walls were my home
I found comfort being alone
Lying next to reality, I've tried to escape from
Kassandra Hiller Apr 2017
Your head aches as the warning strikes
A town that won't settle down
Clouded by the memories
Now I can't calm the storm back to reality

You ring, the noise I can't quiet
Thunderous nights bring lightening days
These memories play, I can't get a grip to save my life

Claimed I never needed saving
Not by you, or the ones above
Though I'd like to feel sheltered again

The rain screams at me, when I hear it hit the streets we used to walk

It tells me
"You can't run back even if you could silence the thunder"
These days I'd rather a drought than a flood to take me under.

So I stay blanketed by my mind, as I feel the roof cave inside
I will silence my screams, if could bring back the light that doesn't come from a memory
Kassandra Hiller Apr 2017
Love is a pain
that cant be felt today

We've forgotten the drive
The passion in our minds

Flooded by the pills and wine  
To fill the emptiness in time

It just takes a sip, to admit what feels real
Enough to get us through the fright

Now the morning comes
The smoke fills my lungs
And the silence fills our heads

one more drink to feel alright
one more pill to sink into the night

I know I promised to stop
You promised too
let's share one more to get us through

We'll stop again another day
When dancing on the brink of too late
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