I remember your love, i’ve never felt passion like what was given to me by you.
I was bent into shapes I could never live comfortably, into people I never wanted me to be. I stayed in your discomfort despite the pain that felt like daggers every time you’d attack me with your words and I agreed this was the price of your love. Words left your mouth and landed on my skin and I accepted the apologies for every bruise left on my body. The pain could fade or I could find a way to make it manageable, it was the passion that kept me going, the obsession I mistook for love. And I’ll look into the eyes of every future love, and make believe it’s you staring back at me.
What remains in the aftermath of love?
As streets are built without sidewalks As neighborhoods no longer have use for streetlights As parks and sunsets turn into myths As the stories of lies and deceit become the only nursery rhymes we pass on As *** becomes as mundane as eating bread And ****** become larger and more frequent than church communions As ***** become cheaper than blood As faces become so interchangeable they're impossible to remember And names turn into secrets What remains? When everywhere is no man's land When childbearing is just a rare, yet escapable punishment from God When children migrate in swarms between families like birds escaping winter When love is just but a militarized weapon used for enslavement When humanity is emancipated from their emotions Shall we celebrate our independence by clearing our contacts list and changing numbers? Shall we start each new year by picking a new stranger to stave off our hunger for the night When we stone those who learned each other's middle names When we lock away anyone greedy enough to keep someone to themselves And the married are sent to live in the madhouse When the war of love have ended And no one's heart returns home What remains?
It's such an odd feeling;
When you start talking to someone new The way that you exchange war stories; To see who's "ex" left the deepest bruise. Just to remember, The time that you did that with them too. Like, I'm not really sure what's up from down. I have felt this way before. Then the darkness hits. That's when life is almost like a mirage. Like, is any of this real? I specifically told myself that this isn't the way to deal. With loneliness, That's a feeling best described with the lights shut off.
I look at the bottle in my hands
Am I ready to regret? The craving builds up in my chest Not the taste, but to forget I look over at the man I told myself I loved How could I do this to him? Everything that did go wrong I'm replaying like a film in my head again I light the tobacco as it hits me in my lungs The burn is close to what I've been dreaming to feel Something to help me realize Something remotely close to real He looks at me in disbelief "You're drinking again?" I look at the bottle that holds the contents of the future of my night A liquid that can make this feeling end I'm halfway through my eyes begin to blur Everything is good, but the feeling of content is stirred He's still looking at the mess I've made Within myself, with no one else to blame The bottle is gone and so am I I don't feel content with who I am All of the bitter truth I've yet to come to terms with When he lies, one day I'll stand
Do not mind me
Im only trying to find the other side the one who learned everything two in the sane one in their mind one out again Alone is not what we handle well I can't find the hand I once held but we do know how to pretend fake a smile, fake a laugh to get back on your feet again you can find us in the street with my nails in my head and her face in her knees trying to rip the skin we let grow over the shell of the ones we used to know
The face in the mirror doesn't look the same
I can't figure out where I went wrong I'm taking it in, taking the blame Slowly letting go of the hand I knew all along I'm drinking myself to sleep I'm falling in love with people I meet Just to destroy it all
this world poetry day
is meaningless, Maya, Charles, Sylvia, Allen never even thought of it it breeds more seed of ego and monstrosity deep inside those men to lift their hands and push us down the drain to ensure that we are stuck in between honesty and reality, forever.
When it comes to enough
I was never in the mix Like a glass half full I was the air hovering over it I closed the mind who wanted to learn More than my eyes could portray in the world I shut my eyes and spent time in my head built a life with a home I liked better than my own skin you're wrong you're not enough have you gone mad? I was To believe the enemy in my bed could give me love Blank stares Empty thoughts Empty hearts Thick skin Building up the walls in my head just to feel safe in These walls were my home I found comfort being alone Lying next to reality, I've tried to escape from
Your head aches as the warning strikes
A town that won't settle down Clouded by the memories Now I can't calm the storm back to reality You ring, the noise I can't quiet Thunderous nights bring lightening days These memories play, I can't get a grip to save my life Claimed I never needed saving Not by you, or the ones above Though I'd like to feel sheltered again The rain screams at me, when I hear it hit the streets we used to walk It tells me "You can't run back even if you could silence the thunder" These days I'd rather a drought than a flood to take me under. So I stay blanketed by my mind, as I feel the roof cave inside I will silence my screams, if could bring back the light that doesn't come from a memory
Love is a pain
that cant be felt today We've forgotten the drive The passion in our minds Flooded by the pills and wine To fill the emptiness in time It just takes a sip, to admit what feels real Enough to get us through the fright Now the morning comes The smoke fills my lungs And the silence fills our heads one more drink to feel alright one more pill to sink into the night I know I promised to stop You promised too let's share one more to get us through We'll stop again another day When dancing on the brink of too late