Fear crept into my sleep
I suffocate and bleed
I screamed for help
But no hand to held

I woke up with pain
My chest hurts, again
Nightmare followed me
To daylight I still see

The loss death caused
When it approached

Is just that I cannot find the best way
to explain why I surrender myself to you
like you are the magnet to my steel heart
cause no matter how far I had run
I constantly bounce back to where you are

"I let you go, I did, but did you?" he asked
with me laying my head on his chest
we all know the obvious answer to that

you turned off your emotion
and shut the door at me

it doesn't shocked me that much
after all you were always hiding
away from the light of day

to tell the truth you scared me
cause it always seem like
you're ready to walk away
at any time when I'm off guard

so I never bother to knock your door
though I love you and I wish for more
there, I said it
I want you to take a peek
and say, "come inside"

I'm a total idiot,
a disgrace,
a simple-minded,
a fool
but I'm fine with that
because when he's here
I am invincible

If you remember
the good days
and the worst nights
when I told you that
I really love you,
those four words
are true
and I meant it
only for you

I wish yours did too
I wish yours did too

There he was
standing by the lake
all dressed in black
with a peek of white rose
on his cashmere suit

He reached out his hand to mine
and pulled me closer
close enough for me to read his thoughts
and so my heart softly melted
when he kissed my forehead
and bend on one knee, saying,
"how about we make a cute bedtime story
for our kids about how I proposed to you?"

was it the ocean waves calling?
or was it your heart beating?
was it the little ***** tingling?
or was it your fingers tickling?
but it didn't matter which was it
cause I fell in love with them all

"There are a lot of crazy-******-up-mind-blowing-things going on between now and eventually"

only the sound of the rain
and the beat of my heart
there he was
standing in front of my door
soaking wet to the floor
maybe it was a mirage
from the cold I was having
even so
his ice-cold touch
were melting my fever lips
when he asked me
to love him with all I am

Surely I have no idea about jealousy
until I see her having a lovely dinner
next to my table with her mother

can I have
just a day of our time
maybe a walk in the park
or a coffee with heavy talk
just a moment of us
watching comedy on YouTube
laughing until we choke an icecube
just a ceremony for you or me
when I exchange vows with him
or when your son turned three
just one
just one more
of you,
brother

The tip of your lips curled up
Everytime you form a smile
And I'd love to lean on
My blushing cheek
Or smudge my lipstick
I'm wearing tonight
On to them

Sometimes a girl
Just cannot help
But to enter
A difficult maze
And got lost inside
Sometimes a maze
Is ******* brilliant
And caused certain
Addiction to death
Sometimes a girl
Is me
And sometimes
A difficult maze
*Is you

but I am a just an absurd poet
who writes about your love
from the first time it bloomed
when your light filled my room
to the moment my words bleed
when you stepped my heart with your feet

Prove me
every love song
you’ve sung
make them all
hear the scream
from your lungs
cause my world
is in complete mist
covered by the amount
of the feeling I miss
so for once
—just for me
just be here
be here
with me

what if I tell you a word
that can describe a feeling
of abundant happiness
that's been bursting
inside my chest like fireworks?
what if the word is so simple,
I secretly been saying to you
this whole time?

if a flower blooms each time
my heart is falling for you
then I will turn this world
into a kaleidoscopic garden

I'm on my knees begging to God not to cross my footsteps to yours ever again
And I'm asking for His forgiveness and thanking Him because He showed me my own karma—you
Lesson learned and very well noted
You are the best and the worst person I have ever met
And though I meant absolutely nothing to you but you meant the world for me
Iloveyou
I still do
But you destroyed me—big time
All the kisses and the laughs
Our memories and songs
I'm ashamed
Turned out I was just another shirt you're changing
Still
I love you with such respect and honesty
I love you with a big amount of trust and support
And everything that you did
Every single drop of kindness that you did
Was a big fat lie
Therefore the only thing left you can do is to disappear into thin air
You are not allowed to call me
Erase my number and my pictures on your phone
I forbid you to even say that you've ever known me
Don't you dare say hi if we ever meet on a street
I am neither your fans nor your ex not even close to a friend for you
I am nobody—like I have always been
Your existence is invalid for me
Vice versa
You are a very great karma on which I promise myself not to make the same terrible mistake like I did before you
You are the only good in goodbye
I hope not to see you again

when you kissed me,
something spread out and fall
something beautiful, calm
sweet and sour tastes like lime
yet creates a hurricane
a quite rough turbulence
inside me, inside my heart
at the same time

The lipstick I am wearing
misses the way you ruin it
until it paints the depth of love
I feel for you on your lips
and it marks the truth that
I am solely meant for you

But you always knew
He never gives you
His heart

The hanging lights
he decorated
in my room
blurred
my sight

Excuse me? I don't get you
I'm sorry I don't speak *******
I can only speak English and
probably a little honesty
and correction, I'm not sorry
so, never open your mouth
in front of my face ever again

Once or twice of a mistake is humane
The third mistake is probably dumb
but the fourth mistake? Oh baby
trust me, that's your choice
Therefore, you have used
every straw I gave you
Now, leave

All I need today is a blanket, laptop, wifi, and his lovely pair of arms

love is a myth, love is an illusion
love in the air creates pollution
I want to stop loving—I have to
cause everything I've ever loved left
just like you

I am a Lego
Build me up brick by brick
Build me strong, build me weak
I could be pretty
Or I could make you sick
But a 4 year old kid
Shouldn’t touch me
Cause he’s not ready
He might as well be chocked
By swallowing me
Or changed his mind
And decided that
He wants other cheap toys
*To play with

Maybe I have to learn
From the falling leaf
And its fading color
As it laughs along
The blowing wind
Despite the fact that
It soon will dies
Just so the tree
Is able to grow
Even greener

I am letting him go
I will be able to find someone better
I never meant anything to him
I won't come back to him
He never loved me anyway
He doesn't care for me
He doesn't want me
*He doesn't know what he's doing

and so I thought
what is the point of living
when all you can do is
watching the people you love
dying?

how quickly
for you to catch
my falling tears
and here I thought
nobody would ever
love my fears

What kind of sin I could possibly done
that makes me unworthy of being happy beside you
*like her?

Because of you
I, now, have come
to a realization of
how careful I must be
as the sweetest tongue
always have the sharpest tooth
just like the lies you speak
right before you bite me

shut my eyes, close my ears
steal my sun, torture my soul
funny how the sky fell unnoticed
and all my senses lost their role

cause I can live by everything
you are

believe me, we were so close
we've never been that close before
cause he always shut the door at me
but tonight, something changed;

we were so close, very close
I was able to see my silhouette
staring back at me inside his pupils
while I tried my best to read his mind

we were so close, too close to be true
cause this is the very first time,
if he was a house, for a blink moment,
he let me stood inside his living room

Now
give me
one
good
reason
why
I
should
run
when
he
has
created
such
heav­enly jail
for me
to stay
in?

They say laughing is the best medicine
No wonder I find myself healing
whenever you're around

Maybe, just maybe
All of us are lonely people
Gathered on the sea shore
With a hope that other grain of sand
Could keep us sane enough
To continue living
And that the rushing ocean
Will neither perishes us
Nor opens up the craters
Inside our thick skin

see that? that is her in the picture
smiling next to him like a lady
knowing her, my mind drifts far away
and my heart is left empty
cause even if the situation was different
he would still choose her over me

you are giving me
lots and lots of good luck
in every morning kisses
lots and lots of happiness
in every punch lines
lots and lots of courage
in every hold hands
lots and lots of you
in everything I am

By the time those brown eyes gazed onto me
the tip of my lips drawing a curve awkwardly
there and then I knew
my heart caught the arrow that the cupid's threw

People said that there's a thin line
between love and hate
and I agree to that cause
it's you whom I date

love is not only about the fluorescent fireflies
but love is not all about the graveyard of heartbreak either

love wisely, then you will see
what love is meant to be

My loving heaven,

If there is a way for me to explain
who I am now to you, I will say;
I am half of your retrograde,
the slowest rotation on your earth
that is wrong enough to be right
and half of your marquis diamond,
the most expensive shape
that lingers best around you

Your devoted Angel,
A

place your hands
around my neck
until my heart beats
a hundred times
of nothing
and I'd still
adore you
the same way
you kiss me

no one in this delusional world
is willing to love me better
than myself
until you touched me
with the closest thing
I ever feel about miracle
and you made the mirror
changed my own reflection
to your figure
cause you love me
as easy and as much
as I love myself

Tink was right
there's a million people tell me
not to trust in you
Ashanti keeps singing how foolish I am
Even Taylor Swift knew that you were
trouble when you walked in my life
but Selena Gomez tells me that
my heart wants what it wants

*and it wants you

do you still remember
how you made me fall in love
before I can even blink my eyes?

loving you is like bungee jumping
cause it feels safe to let myself falling
maybe because you ******* the knot
and make the risk worth the shot
loving you is a lot like loving me
we have those similar bruises, you see
our hearts are in pieces just fine
but the universe made our stars align