Thinking about feeling about
When I was feeling being loved by her
Was some kind of spiral
Some kind of collaboration with her -

Like our times together were on film
And it was a Her-in-my-Head kind of time ,
All the memories and the moments
From a **** Bill pantomime.

It was like our living & loving forever
Was going to go just as planned
And we'd be Adam & Eve at the End of Days
As the last tree burned and we held hands -

Don't get me wrong we were no Bonnie & Clyde
Playing out the tragedy of the old Midwest,
In a lovers' rush to take one final ride
On our way to a certain romantic death.

Thinking about dreaming about
Being her dream of perfection
Was some kind of wish fulfillment
Like an immaculate Inception

As she made it all up and our screenplay unfolded -
Every day in every way I woke up in her story
Until the CGI FX in my head-space exploded
In 5 point surround sound and Technicolor glory -

It was Cinéma vérité, a Love Affair with twists.
It was endless sequels, Terminator and Matrix,
The Towering Inferno and us trapped in the lift -
Fade to a pile of melting yellow bricks...

The End.

Taken in God's arms forever.
The physical realm has lost its power.
The spirit world is where I am born.
The physical world mere Lego to form.

You treat me like a Trash
Thought you where my Johnny Cash
Thinking that we could make a pack
But you lock me in the dark

You treat me like a toy
Thinking I'm full of joy
but you slowly ripping me apart
Breaking walls down like lego parts

You throw me in the mad
like i was just a door mat
You left me inside my head
thinking I was all dead

That Singular Lego Piece,
When I was younger and
life was just walls...
That where just falling down
around me,
                 I found something.

A single piece of Lego.

       And on it scratched into
it where three words...

Always build higher.

Where my life had been
even at such a young age.
                            I thought
             the only thing walls were,
where ones that crumbled.

But after that moment,
when all I fell upon
                  where pebbles of lost moments.
                  That could have built
higher but crumbled, like so many.

That one brick,  built me higher
            than any singular instant.

And to this day,
                  I have never looked
at another lower,
                     or higher than myself.

For ever brick is built on the strength
            of another taking the weight
of the one below it.

And without that strength below,
           we couldn't build ourselves
                            to the height we are today.


Everyday I wear that brick around my neck.


Not to weigh me down, but to realise,
       that below every brick
       is another holding us up
                  with there strength, and without them
                                                    we would crumble.

Sky scrapers made of Lego,
giants controlling everything
super heroes without capes,
Civilians made of paper,
Those are the settings,
of a kids play set,

so nostalgic and overwhelming,
So thought out,
but not as well built,

Imagination running wild,
as little plastic men,
Ruin the town,

Buildings Collapsing,
waiting to be stepped on,

As future architects,
and astronauts,
play around,
as god intended,
them to,

Playing Until  
The Stars Comes out,

And their curfew is upon them,
creeping unto their fun,

Just so they can rest for another day,
Of Lego blocks and broken cities.

For the man has been changed,
dressing in a mirage and false attire
building a castle in his schizophrenic mind
for so long he guessed it was mist
his mind limboed by their words
'we are architects of the sand filled castle' they scream
they say he uses pity power,
so they tell him his pseudo-castle is bliss

For the man has been changed
the realisation is the ****** in his heart
he was right, their trust is a facade
they say he uses pity power
so they have to stay with him in the hard-times

For a time, I too thought my bed was laid,
unraveled the best wool for this bamboo sheets
all for me to realise that every utterance of love
that came from their lips
was but for them on a pressure cooker; making me the chef
though i took a journey, i started to understand they were never with me
they knock me off my perception stand
my candle light burning without light
though now they do not understand, for when they shall, standing not shall i be
for my heart has taken a bow

For a time, though i have sailed through them endlessly
and became an anaesthetic mind for their sake
for the man has been changed
though they say he uses pity power
this lego victim is the solitude man
and He's back.

Defining Lego Moment? What is that, I don’t own one!
Life growing up was unacceptable – it was chemical and dispensable
My life has never been a bed-and-breakfast - early childhood memories got me ill and susceptible
Tryin’ to find a good early childhood memory is like NOT passing “the test”, because I wasn’t in class. So I ask, what’s next?
Defining moments were replaced by worries and doubts, fears and shouts
My, oh my, why couldn’t I have been brought up in someone else’s house?  
I’m just me. So why can’t anyone see I’ve got dreams I want to turn into reality?
I know, maybe I’m adopted! Oh, I could only wish that I belonged to a different home
So who knows, maybe I’m supposed to grow old in a world where survival is at the core of my bones
Future me, I hope that you see, I’m not like them, nor do I ever want to be “like them”

-----------------Fast forward to today ---------------------

I thank GOD for the life I was given and the road that was driven
I’m here because of those dreams which started out as fears - I’m what I am because of those years
I know that I wouldn’t’ be here if it wasn’t for those days of dysfunction and tears
I’m at a junction in my life - I’ve realized that my unction in life is an exponential function that shines like a bright light
My tears have been replaced with people who are sincere and true
I no longer have to worry about the black and blue, now I can simply wave ado…
So I chose to become not what I saw, but what I knew was right in my heart. I leaned on God and learned from stressful nights that choosing the road less taken was all part of this plight
And here we are today….
Now, what does this say, about me?
It says that I’m a child of Destiny, not a child of Disney
It says that I’m a child of God not a child of the Devil
It says that I am…
Predestined presently, sensibly created even though I didn’t come from the best pedigree...

No...more...bickerin,
your eyes flickering you're nickering
your nit pickin' lost it quick as the Dickens
My tracks a hell of a kickin'
you're just the next feckin victim,
of the flow bound Hurricane of sense and rhythm,
The Sensemilla Sensei Kempei of verbal Kempo's home,
Like Alladin and Saladin mixed with a Party Boobytrap a Paladin of Palindrome...
The Storm rider glider blasts you through the  other side of the Thunderdome
My - Spitfire drips Ire as ******* ***** fire Surprise in your eyes quick blast from the past from a .50 Cal Microphone-
Fiend in me soul under control you failed your roll,
will check failed-I check wills,its a Checkmate mate you-best quill your will and will to build some soul
Its a dill of pickle you're in - you're a nickle worth of Nickleback stickleback sticklebricking best Lego
I let go last, I'm the Legolas of the fast pass in the underpass stick you fast now you're stuck fast I buck fast at your glass of Buckfast
the Truculent, ever vigilant-words are Succulent got you diggin' in
diggin' out a liddle bit of Lidl in a stolen digger,move quicker stop the friggin' in the riggin' little Pigpen Pigeons time to drop the bridge in...