you're ******.
i'm *******.
we got nothing left to lose.

i am the king.
and i am surrounded by my queens.
my pawns are even important
(and you know just who you are).
but you,
you're just all wrong.
off the board and out your mind.
check mate.

so you kicked me under and i'm six feet deep.
now i've got dirt in my eyes and blood on my jeans.

Because Of You, All Of LA Is Grey,
And I Know You're Wearing Red.

a white picket fence and blue shutters
describes the house i see in my mind.
a quaint and childish fantasy,
with love blind and hands intertwined.
i left my shoes by the door
and i left that door unlocked.
you locked the door behind you
and didn't care enough to have knocked.
i built that house to have you in it,
and i wanted your shoes by the door.
but you don't bother with much of anything
and i can hear your steps against the floor.
then things get a little lonely
and you're the only one sleeping in the bed.
and i'm sitting on the hardwood because, well, actually, i forgot to imagine anything else in this godforsaken house except for that bed because i was too busy thinking of you.
anyways.
things got a little lonely and they hurt a little more.
then i made an effort to run from you,
but my shoes were still by the door.

you can't build a kingdom with someone who still wants attention from the village

sometimes all it takes is for someone to do you wrong
in order to realize that you were right about them all along

if you say you hate what's in your head,
why do you always want to speak your mind?

your love wasn't convenient
my love wasn't commonplace
sometimes i start thinking we're crazy
but then again, there's nothing quite like you

i don't really want to get with you,
but all i need is something to get me through.

if you can't stand to look a little deeper
you don't deserve to stand by me.

you're the only person i know that says my name in texts.
the only person that says my name at all, really.
in the end, it's the least meaningful thing that you say,
and that's really saying something.

we need to practice shutting the hell up and calming the hell down.
either way, it's still gonna be hell, no matter what we do.
but you have to admit, it's the prettiest hell you've ever seen.

my prince has died trying to slay my dragons,
dragons that keep me up at night.
his head is at my feet and his sword is in my hand.
instead of living in a world in need of a savior,
i suppose it is time for me to save myself.

i'm on my knees like it's a sunday
but
you look like heaven and hurt like hell.
guess we're close enough.

you keep asking me "what's the move"
when all i'm trying to do is make moves on you

i down the whole bottle before the sun's in the sky.
the way i live is the way that i lie.
i'm fighting the lows by staying high.
but its better if you never know why.

my bloodlines have turned to fault lines
because of lines drawn in the sand.

i've told pretty lies and made fatal mistakes.
i get what i want, no matter what it takes.
but in the end, the worst thing i did was
you.

i trade money for magic,
looking for ephemeral feelings with eternal damage.
and when you're not there to save me,
i keep taking codine to stop the saline.
and there's a few things i forgot to mention,
specifically every bad intention.
i drove for miles to find you
but in the end i found myself.
that, and a couple empty bottles of jack.

i was probably high when i met you
but now i'm out of my mind cause i love you

i want you to ruin my life
and even though i know it's wrong
i want you to make it all right

and there's weight to this gun
and i don't mean the mass.
and i number my days,
don't know which one's the last.
but when it comes down to it,
you can't break unbreakable.
when everybody's pressed
the fake is unmistakable.
it's sunday night.
you call me when you're drunk.

you stay forever see through.
you say, "I can't read you".
all I need is you and nicotine.
a month ahead, got to keep it clean.
daytrip took it to ten, again
and it's not the same as it's ever been.
you wanna drink just a little more.
you want a hit until you hit the floor.
you wanna go until you can't anymore.
but i don't think i can anymore.

all my friends all live in pretend
because heaven always has an end.
there are new stars in the sky
and everybody does what they like.
still, god can bless a world full of crime
so maybe he can still save mine.

i love you more over text.
i just can't love you in person.
i love you when you don't talk.
i love it when you don't say a thing.
i only love you in the silence that fills in the gaps
of everything i'll never tell you.
you can't love someone if
you never want to talk to them.
so i guess that means i hate you

and if this is real, then where the hell are you going?

how the hell are you about to hold it down
when you can't even bother to hold up

my promises are, at best, overcommitted lies.
your words are dull and mean less than before.
we are aesthetically pleasing and so we stay.
we both think we're the one
and so we are.

you will be poetry wrapped in skin.
they will melt under your faded gaze.
the spaces between your lungs will be explored.
they will fall in love with the darkness behind your lips.
they will live in the familiarity of your movements.
i will have stripped you of everything that made you the same.
you will be nothing like the person before, for now you are art.
you are simply the words penned onto your bones.
you are a masterpiece in human form.
you made me write, and i made you beautiful.
when we are done, you are perfect.
you are poetry wrapped in skin when i am done.

The blood of many, the salt stained pink
A girl sitting pretty on the brink
And, inhibitions aside, a body to sink

Orlando.
Eleventh.
X.
Synchronicity.
Delirious.
11:11.
Cabo San Lucas.
Gratefully dead.
You in my head.

we're breathless 'cause we're always chasing us.
running this town then burning it down.
smoke in our lungs and heat on our skin.
both of us the same.
both of us insane.

i'm counting every sin
and trying to drown my pain in
benzos and cocktails
and it never really fails.
no one else has noticed i'm
never on time.
i'm always alone
or on my phone.
my speech a little slurred
and the roads a little blurred.
i cover up what i'm feeling
with meds meant for healing.
my intentions are clear
but the end's kinda near.
all 'cause i ended us.
it's cool af though.
i swear.

I’m preoccupied.
I’m busy trying to wash the feeling of your skin off of mine with tears of my very own.
I’m busy trying not to cry every time I think about you crying over me.
I’m busy drowning my sorrows in a few words too many and now it’s over.
Once and for all.



Here is where I find that there is no artistic way to break your heart.

whipping hair and stormy blue eyes
not as innocent as she implies
child of the chaos, ruler of the skies

It is nights like these,
When I stand and look out at everything,
That I know neither moderation or mercy.
What am I to do when the stars painted on the ceiling tell me that I Control every game and every play made?
What am I to do when the neon lights on the slot machines tell me
That I am the house, and I always win?
Resistance is unbecoming,
And I can't just ignore what the they tell me.
So I slip my legs over the balcony railing,
Watching and waiting for my time.
All the while,
I feel no sympathy
And I regret no choices,
For, tonight, I do not care about mercy.
No one will be spared.

"why don't you talk to me anymore?"
"why do i need to?"
"i can't live without you."
"then die."

i've bitten my tongue so much
that it bleeds because it stops me from talking,
helps to keep the peace.
it stains my lips red as a reminder
that your words can start wars,
hurting those around you and
leaving destruction in their wake.
for what is the worth of the blood of one
when it has saved the lives of many?

i'm so cold i can make your blood boil.

i've always wanted to introduce you to all my friends
we sacrifice ourselves just to break ends
we're abused
we're confused
and maybe feeling a little used
welcome to hell as you've never seen it before.
it's under new management.
we hope you enjoy your stay.

you run your fingers along my fault lines
and watch everything crumble to pieces,
unaware that we're both in a dangerous place
as the world falls down around us.

we can’t play tag with time forever.
it’ll catch us soon.

to my favorite infatuation,                                                     ­                           

you told me that i was holding on like it was my lifeblood.
i said you weren't wrong.
right before i left, scared of what might happen next,
you told me that my voice gave me away.
that there was a certain naivety to it.
i hadn't yet been tarnished by the harshness of the world,
and that's what you thought was most beautiful about me.
i will never forget your words.

                         with love,
                                                                ­ the stranger you said was perfect

One day we’ll wake up and call each other.
Our voices will be monotone.
We won’t really have anything to talk about.
We’ll go through our photos.
Make ourselves see how good it was.
We’ll look at each other and see why we fit.
Determine the pros and cons of staying together.
It’s just not that good anymore.
It’ll all end that way.
Not because anything is dreadfully wrong.
We’ll just be bored.
Everything will go back to how it was before.
Except that we won’t be a couple.
Just two people who coexist.
I can talk to guys at bookstores and fall a little bit in love with a perfect stranger every day.
You can pick up girls at the baseball field that you always thought were better than me.
But we’ll always have us.
For now, let’s stay us and hold off until later.

the pounding in my head only stops when my head is resting on your shoulder.

human

you best save yourself

before i can
sink my claws into you too.
uh oh.
here i come.
i suppose i didn't notice until it was
far too late.
oops.