i'm losing friends like i'm losing sleep
apologies don't work, and neither do sheep
don't go, because i want you to stay
but don't lie to me, you're leaving someday

It just rained
Bullets
Puddles in the streets
Blood
Water falls down
Tears

The blood of many, the salt stained pink
A girl sitting pretty on the brink
And, inhibitions aside, a body to sink

It's 11:32
I'm still waiting here for you
Made my way down city blocks
Ignoring people, kicking rocks
But you've reached the deadline
It's 11:59
And I'm still waiting.

sometimes i find myself
somewhere i don't know
chasing fire with coffee

i'm counting every sin
and trying to drown my pain in
benzos and cocktails
and it never really fails.
no one else has noticed i'm
never on time.
i'm always alone
or on my phone.
my speech a little slurred
and the roads a little blurred.
i cover up what i'm feeling
with meds meant for healing.
my intentions are clear
but the end's kinda near.
all 'cause i ended us.
it's cool af though.
i swear.

i want you to ruin my life
and even though i know it's wrong
i want you to make it all right

I’m preoccupied.
I’m busy trying to wash the feeling of your skin off of mine with tears of my very own.
I’m busy trying not to cry every time I think about you crying over me.
I’m busy drowning my sorrows in a few words too many and now it’s over.
Once and for all.



Here is where I find that there is no artistic way to break your heart.

my bloodlines have turned to fault lines
because of lines drawn in the sand.

i trade money for magic,
looking for ephemeral feelings with eternal damage.
and when you're not there to save me,
i keep taking codine to stop the saline.
and there's a few things i forgot to mention,
specifically every bad intention.
i drove for miles to find you
but in the end i found myself.
that, and a couple empty bottles of jack.

i've got a lot to tell you
about how maybe
our story wasn't made to be told.

you will be poetry wrapped in skin.
they will melt under your faded gaze.
the spaces between your lungs will be explored.
they will fall in love with the darkness behind your lips.
they will live in the familiarity of your movements.
i will have stripped you of everything that made you the same.
you will be nothing like the person before, for now you are art.
you are simply the words penned onto your bones.
you are a masterpiece in human form.
you made me write, and i made you beautiful.
when we are done, you are perfect.
you are poetry wrapped in skin when i am done.

you say that you could replace me,
and i would believe you if,
when you said it,
you could look me in the eyes.

getting high without you isn't even getting high,
just feeling down because i know i'm at my lowest point.

you're not the only one trying to be the only one

i don't really want to get with you,
but all i need is something to get me through.

i'm not looking for god,
but i'm down on my knees.

i put in overtime
stayed all night
just to leave with you

all my friends all live in pretend
because heaven always has an end.
there are new stars in the sky
and everybody does what they like.
still, god can bless a world full of crime
so maybe he can still save mine.

the good days burn out like matches.
sparking sleepless nights and bad dreams.
the force of trying to start it again isn't
worth the ephemerality of its effect.
you never should've played with fire.
it's (i'm) nearly impossible to put out
once i'm started

The thing about time is that it doesn’t
Work for you.
Yours was bound to run out eventually.
It just happened to be sooner
Than you first expected.

hindsight is 20/20
and all i can see is you.

We climb power lines and play Titanic.
We go to parties, but only for the free food.
We sneak out to people watch at Walmart.
We're the whirlwind couple everyone dreams about.
We're what they don't show in movies.

i was supposed to be running,
but i fell into your arms instead.

we're breathless 'cause we're always chasing us.
running this town then burning it down.
smoke in our lungs and heat on our skin.
both of us the same.
both of us insane.

I wanna die before I'm old.
I wanna chop off all my hair and dye it pink.
I wanna live in LA and go to art school.
I want the American dream that no one sees.
I wanna do dumb things with people I just met.
I wanna be a musician and play at bars with my band.
I wanna go to the beach at midnight and dance.
I wanna live while I can.
I wanna make it through the night.

We tried so hard to escape.
I guess my heart got caught on the barbed wire.
I sat on the fence and watched you leave, watched you leave me behind.
My fingers locked in the chain link, my body paralyzed by the spotlights.
I’ll always be locked up in you.

a lover?
no.

a liar?
yes.

i down the whole bottle before the sun's in the sky.
the way i live is the way that i lie.
i'm fighting the lows by staying high.
but its better if you never know why.

i put out the lights, but somehow i forgot to close the blinds
so now i've got to see your face when it turns morning time

Maybe the big picture isn't as pretty when you
look
up
close.
You can see how the colors have bled,
How the paint has chipped,
How the colors have faded.
Then, no one wants to look at the details.
They just want to see the pretty.
The distance-blurred scenery.
The seemingly sharp lines
And the seemingly vivid colors,
But the harsh reality is that nothing is pretty
When you look a little deeper
Or search a little harder
Because only then can you see
How messed up everything really is.

suddenly gravity isn't just a theory or a force,
but a friend that keeps me company,
keeps me grounded,
while i watch you, weightless

free

and prone to leaving me

i'm working the game,
but you stay working me.
none of you are the same,
but i'll still take all three.

all i want is you, baby,
but you're three hundred miles away.
that, and...
we're over now.

i've bitten my tongue so much
that it bleeds because it stops me from talking,
helps to keep the peace.
it stains my lips red as a reminder
that your words can start wars,
hurting those around you and
leaving destruction in their wake.
for what is the worth of the blood of one
when it has saved the lives of many?

Orlando.
Eleventh.
X.
Synchronicity.
Delirious.
11:11.
Cabo San Lucas.
Gratefully dead.
You in my head.

my prince has died trying to slay my dragons,
dragons that keep me up at night.
his head is at my feet and his sword is in my hand.
instead of living in a world in need of a savior,
i suppose it is time for me to save myself.

i look at you and see myself
you feel like home
when the furniture's pushed back
we fill the space
slow dancing to silence
barefoot on the carpet

a white picket fence and blue shutters
describes the house i see in my mind.
a quaint and childish fantasy,
with love blind and hands intertwined.
i left my shoes by the door
and i left that door unlocked.
you locked the door behind you
and didn't care enough to have knocked.
i built that house to have you in it,
and i wanted your shoes by the door.
but you don't bother with much of anything
and i can hear your steps against the floor.
then things get a little lonely
and you're the only one sleeping in the bed.
and i'm sitting on the hardwood because, well, actually, i forgot to imagine anything else in this godforsaken house except for that bed because i was too busy thinking of you.
anyways.
things got a little lonely and they hurt a little more.
then i made an effort to run from you,
but my shoes were still by the door.

I'm here.
I am no one in particular.
I am a face in a crowd.
I am charted waters.
I am covered ground.
I am blurring into the lines.
I am collapsing in on myself.
All that I have left is my name.
I am not struggling.
I am not in love.
I am not fighting.
I am not feeling.
I am nothing but a name.

you stay forever see through.
you say, "I can't read you".
all I need is you and nicotine.
a month ahead, got to keep it clean.
daytrip took it to ten, again
and it's not the same as it's ever been.
you wanna drink just a little more.
you want a hit until you hit the floor.
you wanna go until you can't anymore.
but i don't think i can anymore.

i wanna be rich when i'm older
because at least a maserati
is gonna ride when things
go down

i wish the child-locks on medicine bottles
worked on people that don't have that childlike innocence
anymore

i spend too much time on my makeup
to let you mess up my mascara.

how can i reach for the stars
when you’re the only thing that lights up my life