How can I miss someone I never met?
How can I love someone I never knew?
How can someone looks so good even without looking?
How can I say I like you when we're miles apart?

I am not brave enough to say 'I like you'.
I fear not just my feelings but to hurt someone I cherish.
The one that has been with me for almost forever and you that I met for-never, how can I choose when I never met you?

It was a long day and now it's night,
you have lived 85 years with your hands held tight.

You have lived a life, provided light and
became many people's flower oh! so bright.

Many people didn't expect this moment, even I couldn't guess it.
But on this day forward, no promises can be made.
I know you dreamt of peace, peace within our family.
Forgive us all, because until the end only a new war was created.

Thank you for all battles that you fought for us,
the ones you won with us, thank you for being with us.

Today is your 31325th day in this vast world, with a long journey within your memories. With broken heart and scattered feelings,
with the cure of the ones who loved you and the wholeness of those you loved.

I know tomorrow might get better, but I'll just hold on to this pain
a little longer... as I wave goodbye and kiss you from afar, I was grateful to be by your side when I was able.

I was and still am! grateful of every inch of you grace and blessing.
It was hard seeing you in pain, though we know one day it'll come... but the bus just came too soon.

Lastly, we promise to achieve our dreams, to continue our passion.
To love our parents, to love our siblings, to love one another as it was your dream before the light turned green.

Farewell, my lola! It was an honor to serve you and love you!
it was an honor to be loved and supported by you.
We will still go on, move on, stay on the ground and
keep our heads high!

But fear not! we promise to bring you memories with us!
To keep your teachings, to appreciate your lectures
and to give our all, just like you did...
I love love love you with all my heart and soul!

Should I come to you or wait for you to come to me?
To be honest I still don't know who you are, how you'll look like nor be like... but here am I talking to myself and making a deal,
"to wait until the right time comes".

Why can't I say NO?
Am I afraid or just stupid?
I kept agreeing with people that did nothing but abuse me.
But even with that treatment I chose to be kind.

Ask me why?

Because I promised Him I'll be fine.
fine with sorrow for I know one day he'll save me.
I swear to bare, because I knew someone cared.
believe me when I say, cruelness is in the air...
but somewhere is where we are our own Heir.

I'm a mess, I can't stay calm in my nest.
I am exhausted because I can't rest.
I say yes because I thought that's the best.
despite saying those things I knew nothing will fickle,
in the end I will always say YES.

uno, dos, tres
am I just stressed?

I used to believe everything we all have is equal
the moment you put a greater sign to everything,
I defended it's normal.

I told the rest they were blinded by anger, am I no different when I side with a closed eye and felt triggered.

To the rest let us not be stressed, for He who plans the rest.

ℑ'𝔪 𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔞𝔦𝔯 𝔞𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔭𝔢𝔬𝔭𝔩𝔢,
𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔢.

𝔄𝔰𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔞𝔡, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔬𝔬 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥.
𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔱𝔥 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔞𝔡, 𝔞𝔰 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔶.

𝔇𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔤 ℑ 𝔞𝔦𝔫'𝔱 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲, ℑ 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔤𝔞𝔩 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞 𝔣𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔤𝔲𝔶𝔰...𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔩𝔶, 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔨𝔢𝔭𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔡𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶, 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔰𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔤𝔲𝔶𝔰 𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔯.

𝔗𝔬 𝔪𝔶 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔰𝔬 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔶,
       ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔫, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔰𝔬 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 ℑ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔡𝔩𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝐼𝒩𝒟𝐸𝒫𝐸𝒩𝒟𝐸𝒩𝒯𝐿𝒴... 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔬 𝔴𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥 𝔪𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔯.

Someone told me "𝕓𝕖 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗".
But what if being kind to yourself is being unkind to others?
what if a little care to yourself is too much selfishness to them?
I know, I know you'll tell me to not care...but how can I not?
when the whole world is just too human. It confuses me.

I use to not care at all, and be the free spirited person I was.
That changed when I tried to be less human. I told myself...
"being less human is making mankind better than it is".
For humans are no different from disasters... you don't know how much it'll cost, you just hope for a less aggravate outcome.

But for now, I am still far from being less human...
because I care, I care about who's who and what will.

No worries, I'll get there... "the ones who cannot abandoned the past won't be able to make a difference" yes I heard you...

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣,
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨,
𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨.

𝙃𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡!
𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 '𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡.
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙨.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤'𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙙!

"𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚍; 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎!"

"First of all I wrote this to remind myself in the future, but then realized I should share it:> so that those people who might feel the same would know that they're not alone. Take your time to read it and please no hate, the world should always be beautiful, agree? also, to let people know that being one doesn't mean being alone. enjoy for I have taken up a lot of time to gain courage to post it on public:>>"...

Hey, you must be the future me...or just probably the aged me.
Do you remember this day? one of your good friend's day.
The day you had an open eye about the pyramids of humans.
The denial is there but fear not for it is what you call 'normal'.

You saw how people tend to change for someone, change is fine.
But when I say change... you're having a flashback right now...
again, when I say change it should be always for the better because if not... it's not change, it is just the old world and the old thing you have there. Change is something that builds you not to destroy you, agree? I'm sure you do...because you're still the old you.

The old you that believes in changes, that fights for it. That defends the people that change for the better and despise those who not. The old you who holds the past so dearly yet so ready to let go of the broken memories, because the old you only trust him to make everything beautiful again.

if not, then forgive me for I have change...

Whatever you have realized today won't change its past, but surely made a better future and a better you. For I know you have realized that have one is enough and she's still with you, am I right? those people who made you feel like you were less, don't shout nor be furious...let your success scream for you, let it fight for you, let it be your freedom, but let him finish all the battles. No one nor nothing can top the faith when it comes to your trust in him, that's why promise yourself, me, that when 99.9% of you changes...let the 0.1%  be your faith! for you know he won't let you go!

The pain, the feelings and thoughts you have there...don't be upset because bare a little more and happiness will set.

What I really mean by this note...
you felt like your too different from the others, right?
yet you defended by saying "I know and I've accepted it for a very long time now". Yes, you do accept, yet you feel like you've been trap for a very long time and accepting the fact that they're up there made you free. that's all I mean. Let it go, being cautious is fine, but guilt for the wrong thing can ****. you bared since 7th to 11th, just...just let it go...focus on greater things and wholesome realities.

If they're not like you, always remember you are not like them.
If you can't be with them, be with the people who makes you feel enough. No dramas here, being emotional isn't my thing. Pardon me, if I sounded too dramatic nor emotional...I was just being realistic about life. life isn't life without those, right? K, no more explanation about that, cause the one besides you knows what you mean.

All I wanted to say was be happy for you have lived, be grateful for you have felt, be satisfied for you were blessed. TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!