Sometimes there’s a long for silence. Not a word to be spoken. For the world around is way to load. The soul cries out for a dire need of peace before it’ll end up dazed numb and paralyzed. Take the lull moment it’s in arms reach. Embrace the night and hold it dear. Bow your head and bend your knees lift your hands and reveal what you feel. Even though GOD knows HE sees. HE wants to hear you declare it dear. HE wants that link with you. Take HIS hand HE will save you. But who am I, to tell you.. For deep down your soul already knew..

i got the feeling i am coming back to what i am really meant to do
which is...FEEL the way i live and to pursue
my dreams i have already dreamed of, i feel its nothing new
my god is telling me to wake up and i am ready to open to my reality
romances my life to a complete false character is dull
i would rather be the human that feels all the emotions of rules
i am human i make mistakes,but, it seems some expect more out of me than what i give.
As if it isn't enough reaction. as if my bad days don't matter to the action
this movie i dreamed of..left out the sad attractions it comes with.
i breathe it all in. i take it with a grain of salt. I am not perfect.
But, my heavenly father tells me i am just perfect the way i am.
And if some can't accept my thoughts subtractions..than maybe i should move forward to the ones that feel the same satisfaction.
sometimes the good things want to end.. because in other places there things that need my attention.
May it be good or bad, there is always a balance in my smile that has some fractions.
i repeat i am not perfect in my attractions. Though God loves me for who i am. In all sinful actions.
I am moving forward with my divine guiders of peace and love within my past jacked sense.
I will no longer allow the feeling of disappointment in my mind that tracts and miss.
I am figuring out my love for my back to gained prints.


-becauseilovehim.

Let me tell you, it happened to me once,
---------

She left.
The worst part of it all were the questions
Why didn't she give me a reason
Why didn't she waits for me
A puzzle to be decoded,
I carefully studied past memories,
dutifully analyzing every words I said
What was wrong?
It's unfair how she left without a reason

Every night & day
I spiralled downwards into despair
The pain barely registers
My world were gray
Hyperbolic, but it is
Life was pointless
The future was a fog
I cursed myself, hoped something could happened so I didn't have to be alive

"Should I go find him? I'll wait for him, I trust him, he exclusive to me."

Don’t be fooled
On the first 3 months, I thought that too
But she cuts her hearts into 3 & gave it away
That's how she cope with the pain
She heals faster that way
No point to stay like a dog sitting & waiting for its owner to come home behind the closed door
Complexity of human beings
Don't be a burden of feelings
Yours and another’s
There's still a residual damage

Eventually after 4 months I got her back
My heart was so happy that she comes home
I loved her, but she wasn't entirely mine
I could force a marrige & have a family with her
But I realized if I did that, it will be only pressured me
Everything that's not supposed to yours will slipped out of you grip sooner or later, no matter how hard you hold it.

"What about my theory if some black magic witch played a trick on him? we're in Indonesia, you know sometimes it happens illogicaly"

Feelings become stronger than reasoning. Even though I’m ideologically opposed to your theory, if it happened then it happened with God 's permission. It could be a way to save you from him. All for a good cause.

It's his choice
An active action
Accept that
It's just a matter of breaking a habit you're attached to

I'm not forbid you to go there
If you still wan't to fight for him, does he deserve your efffort?
Choose your battle wisely
Don't go alone & promise me
If it's not what you expect,
If you encounteres a road to disappointment
Do not do anything stupid
I don't want to hear you did any lame attempt to escape from this world

Don’t push the thoughts away
Let them in,
Embrace the sadness and heart break
Accept them and let them be there
This is a learning journey, you'll be fine
Time will erase the pain away.