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ShininGale Apr 2022
ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡.
𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩, 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔰.
𝔈𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡, ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱.
ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔪𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬𝔬 𝔟𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔱, 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔠𝔞𝔫 ℑ 𝔡𝔬?

𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔥𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔱𝔥.

𝔄𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔢 𝔶𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰 ℑ 𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔟𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔞 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔬 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔡,
𝔨𝔢𝔭𝔱 𝔞 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔟𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔨 - 𝔭𝔢𝔬𝔭𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔱.

ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡,
𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔷𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔫𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔡 ℑ 𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔱𝔥...
𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔟𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱.

𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔳𝔢 ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔤,
𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯𝔰 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔢𝔵𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫.

ℭ𝔞𝔫'𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔦𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶.
It's been a roller coaster for the past week, thank God whenever I thought of "Everything will be okay, please let me be okay" He gives me.

I don't know why I always let things go after being alright again, like in a week I have a circumstance with my... not once but several times in a week. It always crosses my mind that it's exhausting yet I am the one that makes the move, I a little convo and I'm good... and then it repeats.

I am not easily depressed and not a personal giver up.
But today I felt all those years, all these past days walks in mind,
it causes me a physical head heaviness, internal mind defense/confusion
- anxiety? I don't know yet, prolly in denial. I just can't be weak right now, not a chance and I can't let a lot down.

Well, this has been long... I know I said a lot but in the end - Just forget what I've said, I can't do that now nor I don't know when. Think of this as a venting session, in the end like always

I'll say this:
"Nah, I'm good! Let's just keep moving forward."

Peace out y'all, funny I'm okay now.
Diksha Dhiman Apr 2021
You are not helping in changing are changing yourself by seeing through your different perspectives.
                                         -diksha dhiman

— The End —