I've ran away so much that
I've forgotten where my home is.

can you lead me back to You?

it’s been a while so take it easy on me
while I introduce myself to 2022.

has taken over my mind,
paralyzing me in a state of
never-ending purgatory.
and I love every minute
of it.

Beneath the garden
shed, her bones bleed
Without much notice of
decay.

Smells of rotten garbage
Permeated the building
Of her demise
Without much notice of
isolation.

Souless, lifeless carcass
Becomes her as she loses
Unconsciousness beneath the
Rotting soil.

And the malevolence
Took over.

for the make-believe
world you spun around me
infected with webs of lies,
seeping with the decay
of our own insecurities.

yet the sad thing
is I believed you were
my beautiful Guardian
Angel dressed as Satan.

i am
not
a box
where
you
can
confine
the broken
pieces
of my heart
as if
it was still
whole.

i cannot
repair
what
you irrevocably
broke
with
your deceitful
and lustful
eyes.

i am not
a box
where you
can place
your demons
anytime
it is convenient
leaving me
with the burden
of carrying their voices
inside my head.

i am
not your puppet
and you
are not
my master.

sweet
chocolate
naked
and afraid
hidden
deep
within
the crevices
of the
vanilla.

never
withdrawing
from its
sticky
twisted
grip.

then he died
and left me alone
with my demons.

eggs
milk
sugar
-
-
-
-
love
respect
your heart

help
      stop
this
     doesn’t
belong
     here
     you
          don’t
    belong
here
   in
my
    world
messing
    it
up.

from you slamming the
door in my face again
yet I still come back every time.

Don't **** with my freedom.

Love’s dead.
Love’s dead.
I’ll say it again.
I’ll sing it from the rooftop
'Till these old bones stop breathing.

I’ll take a knife to
My pulmonary arteries and watch
My undeserving heart lose its ruby-colored dressings.
Before I let love
Fool me again
With its deceptive tactics.  

Am I a product of my environment?
Or do I just
Lack the basic capacity
To understand love’s cruel semantics?

Only time will tell what becomes
Of this defective love
That plagues my soul.

They say warning comes before
Destruction but I walk with Destruction.
Destruction comforts every fiber of my
being, ******* me into the black whole
of repressed memories but
I cannot escape these haunting premonitions.

not always a frown.
sometimes it's a smile covered
by deceitful eyes.

not always a tear.
sometimes it's making everyone
else laugh while you hide your
tears in the shower.

not always that voice
in your head telling you
that you aren't worth it.
sometimes it's a loved one
saying "I'll never leave you."

not always shown widely
but is always felt deeply
by the one who carries it.

Cut the cord
And rip out my
Heart
Like you do
Everytime you walk away.

At least my
Cynicism will be
There to greet me.

Insatiable.

I
havent
felt
like
myself
lately...
and
its
because
of
you.

and you wonder why your soul is dead inside.

for all that you stole.

i didn't pay my rent and i don't
give a ****
i forgot to do laundry and wash my sheets brush my hair comb my teeth (whatever).

i forgot to look in the mirror
and whisper words of affirmation to cure
the depression within me
and i don't give a ****

i got a speeding ticket flying 180 on the freeway
and i don't give a ****
i forgot to punctuate this i forgot to structure the voices in my
head i don't give a ****

the stars light up when you smile
but now the stars have now burned out because you chose to leave your life without saying goodbye to those who loved you.

You should’ve realized that stare go dim when you’re not around.

Well, they certainly do for me.

I am not impressed,
impressed not am I
with your love.