This is goodbye.
I am going to try and forget you, to live my life without you.

To not use you in my words, my writings, my songs.
I am truly sorry about this "apostrophe."

Certainly you had your place in my world.

Many times you were there, for me, for many others too.

You occur when a speaker breaks off from addressing the audience.
And directs speech to an absent third party.
Often it is a personified abstract quality or inanimate object which some absent or nonexistent person or thing is addressed as if present and capable of understanding.

However, you keep me from writing positive words like "Can, Will, Have and Is", among others.

I have come to realize, your best friend... "Not" is an important part of you.
Still one should never discard even a part of a best friend, something you do, when you become part of speaking and writing.

This may not be goodbye completely.

Simple because you were taught to me to be a part of my words.
I cannot blame teachers or writers.
I can only blame myself.

Nevertheless, I have the will to choose.
Therefore, I will make every effort to remove you when I read.
When I speak and when I think. I have that ability.

When I Am Afraid I Will Master My Fear

Have you found the answer to your question
Are you thinking of the same as me
Happiness is not elusive
As we know it’s conducive
Scripts not needed
Going with the flow
Steady as we go
Hands together
Eyes looking in
Together we will
Conquer
Demons flee to wind

Can you Imagine*
This passion we share
Thunder clapping
As I clasped you hair
The light from above
Lightning strikes deep
****** in unison
Pleasure so deep
Eyes locked in focus
Sweet kisses we reap
Air shared in abundance
Snuggled spooning complete

Feel us enter
A love that's so rare
Hearts beat together
Together as one
Whispering forever
True love never ends
Brushing your hair softly
Fingers to cheek
Closeness of bodies
Drift off to sleep
Good-night
Sweet dreams

five steps forward nine steps back
sideways motion
moving
direction other
not as planned
but four is lucky

universe multi
many theory
twelve is the divided tribe
plural perhaps
light years away
same distance from the sun

gobekli tepe
smart find recent
dumb place
buried from sight
Baalbek mystery
stronger than ants

relationship status
complicated
unknown
single
attached
to me

thoughts many
wrinkles a-plenty
convoluted memories
two minds
intermingled in thoughts
hearts divided

thinking deeply
shallow breathing
thoughts very distant
looked very close at
remembered seeing
brain in a jar

brain in jar
house of glass
lonely life
mind meld memories
with brain in jar
any thoughts

Our tears
And the rain
Dew drops
With whom form reflection
Even then
There is light
And the darkness fades

To this end my blade soars
through the aquarium of my soul
seeking the kelp of discontent
which must be cut
so that the rocky bottom of love lie in waking
with fertile sand for the coming seed of my true loves affection
Does this explain my need for her?
No.
It is like a giant cave of emptiness
waiting for the bats of love
to hang by
and beckon me to taste that heavenly food
In heart
my heart beats for only one…
That is you, my everything and one true love

When the night was still and quiet. And the sound of the blood rushing through my veins filled my ears, the only way to silence it, was to slip out into the night.  AND like the hunter that spawned me, joined in the struggle for life and death, I was alone, unable. And those around me didn't understand, they shunned me, she cursed me, calling me vile names. I did not know why. Even now, do I know why I am driven? Why I cannot relent or repent or confess or abstain. How could I know, I have never been here before. And not one will lead me to that knowledge.

Those feelings are still a part of me. These veins are still a part of me. I control them. They do not rule me. To fit in, it is demanded, to change the one part of me I cannot change. And because I cannot, I do. That too is the mark of a good man. What enemy must a warrior battle to be appreciated and not taken for granted?

And as the blood, the love, is slowly drained from these veins, it is a painful death. My heart withered in my chest. My breath was taken away, no breath offered in return. Suffocating only because I am loyal, true and committed.

I am becoming a shell of what was once a powerful man. Weakened in these arms. Beaten to submission. Pride removed, replaced by fear.

Only fools have no fear. A broken man I am. What price, at what cost, is a place in the virtual worlds? Reality eludes the master. And the rope, the one I once held with honor, now binds me. As my feelings are pushed aside, like unsaid words, as sand in the eternal sea. Closer towards the cliffs I am pushed. Her appetite for destruction is never satisfied. Feeding it has removed my bones, only my spine supported this emptiness.

With creativity in bondages, manipulate and conquer becomes a formidable weapon. Slicing away, layer by layer I became what it wished for me to be. Silence of tongue and emotionally tangled in the convoluted mind of misunderstanding... I lost strength from the ***** of a virtual reality, once I was ingenious but have been reduced to ingenuous.