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Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
Once Upon A Time…

I was a rock
Strong and proud as rock may be
Nothing could be more fulfilling than to be that rock
When you are looked upon as the symbol of strength
Always being that strength for all time
How strong it feels to be the rock
Over time I was eroded in a mere pebble
All that could chisel me down came like a storm
Everything that gave me strength was destroyed
Sometimes even the rock needs something to lean on
But the sands of the foundation
That which once was my own rock
Drifted away
Down the hill to where it lay
Tumbling down
In a downward spiral
Bashed to pieces
I became just a pebble
A concise pebble was me
With full conscience
Of my former self
I lay now next to the grass
And in time we became closer
Yet again time was not the friend
And the storms came and washed the grass down
Down the hill myself I rolled
As that foundation too was gone
Fate as it be
I found refuge next to the grass
And the sand was kind
It rolled gently beneath
Now I covered and gave the root of my grass
Sanctuary and a place to flourish
And together we gave joy to each other
Here on earth
Looking at the wonderment of sky
Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
This is goodbye.
I am going to try and forget you, to live my life without you.

To not use you in my words, my writings, my songs.
I am truly sorry about this "apostrophe."

Certainly you had your place in my world.

Many times you were there, for me, for many others too.

You occur when a speaker breaks off from addressing the audience.
And directs speech to an absent third party.
Often it is a personified abstract quality or inanimate object which some absent or nonexistent person or thing is addressed as if present and capable of understanding.

However, you keep me from writing positive words like "Can, Will, Have and Is", among others.

I have come to realize, your best friend... "Not" is an important part of you.
Still one should never discard even a part of a best friend, something you do, when you become part of speaking and writing.

This may not be goodbye completely.

Simple because you were taught to me to be a part of my words.
I cannot blame teachers or writers.
I can only blame myself.

Nevertheless, I have the will to choose.
Therefore, I will make every effort to remove you when I read.
When I speak and when I think. I have that ability.
Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
When the night was still and quiet. And the sound of the blood rushing through my veins filled my ears, the only way to silence it, was to slip out into the night.  AND like the hunter that spawned me, joined in the struggle for life and death, I was alone, unable. And those around me didn't understand, they shunned me, she cursed me, calling me vile names. I did not know why. Even now, do I know why I am driven? Why I cannot relent or repent or confess or abstain. How could I know, I have never been here before. And not one will lead me to that knowledge.

Those feelings are still a part of me. These veins are still a part of me. I control them. They do not rule me. To fit in, it is demanded, to change the one part of me I cannot change. And because I cannot, I do. That too is the mark of a good man. What enemy must a warrior battle to be appreciated and not taken for granted?

And as the blood, the love, is slowly drained from these veins, it is a painful death. My heart withered in my chest. My breath was taken away, no breath offered in return. Suffocating only because I am loyal, true and committed.

I am becoming a shell of what was once a powerful man. Weakened in these arms. Beaten to submission. Pride removed, replaced by fear.

Only fools have no fear. A broken man I am. What price, at what cost, is a place in the virtual worlds? Reality eludes the master. And the rope, the one I once held with honor, now binds me. As my feelings are pushed aside, like unsaid words, as sand in the eternal sea. Closer towards the cliffs I am pushed. Her appetite for destruction is never satisfied. Feeding it has removed my bones, only my spine supported this emptiness.

With creativity in bondages, manipulate and conquer becomes a formidable weapon. Slicing away, layer by layer I became what it wished for me to be. Silence of tongue and emotionally tangled in the convoluted mind of misunderstanding... I lost strength from the ***** of a virtual reality, once I was ingenious but have been reduced to ingenuous.
Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
If only you could see
I am like a mimosa tree
My branches you can climb
My leaves will give you shade
When my spring arrives
My flowers you can see
The aroma is only for you
In the night
My leaves close
It is how I hold you within my arms
In this way I exhale
And you receive the oxygen
For it enriches your blood
And your heart becomes happy for it
Dig into my roots
They are dug into the soil of our togetherness
Feel the richness
Smell the earth
Look upward towards the sky
As the light of happiness
Filters through
If only you could see
I am more than just a tree -- Wade Lancaster
Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
If you could hear me, there are things I could tell you:

like my dreams,
I was a branch and you were a bird
and you built your nest and I gave you a home, and
I was the bird and you were the worm and you wiggled
beneath my lips and you nourished my body, and
I became the worm and you were the dirt and
I gave you warmth and guidance and quenched
your thirst and then I was the dirt and you were
a child and you shaped me into pies squished
between your chubby fingers and I rested on
your cheeks until I became the child and you became
my pet and we danced in the rain and chased after
the birds and you snuggled up to me next to a fire
and we slept, and I became the pet and you were
my owner and you fed me and gave me affection
because I was loyal and then I became the owner
and you became my love and we found ourselves
in between clean sheets, damp with sweat and
stripped naked and satisfied and the sun began
to peak through our blinds and you became
the sun and I turned into the moon and we’ll
be immortalized day and night and you’ll fall
in love with me every moment and I didn’t want
to find myself in reality again, but when I woke
I realized you were still there, kept in my heart
and for now, that’s all I need until I want more
and more comes with the future and the future
will be our adventure—if you were listening,
I would tell you all this so you could understand
that I’m waiting: you’re my bird and I’m your branch.
Wade Lancaster Aug 2015
Do You…

miss the way;
I look into you eyes
the way my fingers explore your skin
the ear that listened
how in me you had no fear
the tender moments
the kiss, soft and gentle
teasing your lips
holding hands in public
doors that open
a gentlemen
dances in the rain
peanut butter nutella
meals prepared by me
how i brushed your hair
going down above your knees
laughter that broke silence
cuddling the recharge we need
pictures of our adventures
photos ****** shared
walking around the home
nothing but underwear
traveling together, many places
making love by moonlight
wishing on that star one night
looking into the mirror
as the story unfolds
dreams and promises and wishes
forever these we hold

… and then you awake…
could this be…
the one man of whom you dream?

… then I awake…
holding my pillow…
I realized…

I was the one who was dreaming
August 10, 2015

— The End —