Less I am a fisherman
with patient gaze on
undulating seas

and more bait
submerged
heart on the hook
waiting
for you,
beloved,
to cast away this
eternity

Bitterness is the taste of fiery love grown cold
On a lover's breath

Putrid is the smell of a well worn out fantasy
left hanging in your secret closet

Rancid is the look of unrequited love
On once vibrant lovers' lips

Hardened are the veins of a
desperate old fool
Longing for love

Cursed was the day I let you inside
The exquisite warmth
that is my beating heart

My life is a virtual battlefield
complete with hidden traps,
layered atop cowardly assaults

between highly guarded spans of peace,
Inside my house
chairs and walls
are coarsely blown to bits
by verbal bombs,
and stark fists of shrapnel.

Behind that simple smile,
semblance of solid love
so easily shaken,
lies a ripened mine field

I tread on tiptoes
yet it erupts under
calloused feet unprovoked,
blasting glory to grey
as sacred sanctuary
falls to scarred terrain.

Spears lodged inside ribs
I peel myself from the ground,
shake off soot,
wait for dust to settle
before I march forward, again.

yes I lose the battles
But I will win this war.

Between us lies
an eternity
yet I breathe your air,
an eternity between
but I felt it again!
the thrill, the high when i'd caress your hair..

that same glimmer in your eyes,
that same stare,

a wiser embrace
a wrinkle here and there,
your countenance still other-worldly
and fair.

an eternity between us,
but you broke the spell!
still together..
and no one can tell

This is for you,
The invisible
Hiding
Hidden
Tucked away
Even in the blaring light

This is for you
The silent
The silenced
The golden caged voices
Who having seen the light
keep inside
Lest it be too powerful for others to bare

This is for you
The holy,
The kind
The patient
And compassionate
Who seek no accolades or fame

In whose faces we will recognize
Mothers, daughter, sons and fathers
Of time immemorial

We give ourselves to these things

The magic of the tender bud about to blossom,
The magnificent flower in her full and glorious bloom,
The changing colours of weathered leaves in
the arms of fall..

We give ourselves to these  things which speak to us in metaphor and song
absorbing their quiet language in the dead of winter
and rejoicing when spring is in the air
Beckoning to sing her heart out for those who will listen..

We give ourselves to these things
when we make up with the elementals,
and disavow ourselves
of most, but not all things human,
And when we no longer look for meaning in another, or even ourselves.

We give ourselves to these things,
awakening to the call of the wild, naked in her truth,
when there is no longer the small
me.

poets break all the rules

Most days I carry you
deep in the cradle of my mind,
or tightly wound up in my flesh.

You,
my preferred escape,
my perfect getaway,
my drug of choice.

Guilty for using you
without your consent.
-
but without your collusion,
this fantasy
won't subside.

you are bound to me
by the silky glue of love..
and one of these days
I will likely come undone
with just one brazen kiss
from your flawless lips.

As late summer
is pregnant with promise of change,
so I shed illusions
to meet your gaze
once again,
in the purer light of fall.

I am your bird of prey

Caught between 2 posts
And a glistening fence.

Neck broken,
beak to the ground,
Half way trapped inside
your field of green.

I am your bird of prey,

Wings on a wire,
Still soft and light,
with feathers gleaming
where promise of flight,
newly broken, fell to earth.

'Twas passion that lured me to your
nest, where the cloud kissed Sun
with time
turned ashen my listless frame.

A testament to nature's seduction,
there was no escaping
your embrace
As the warmth
slowly left
my still
beating
heart.

And today
Let us remember
That of all the illusions
Death is the deepest

As my eye catches the glimmer
of the coming dusk of my life,
I thank you for reminding me how it feels to love,
and be rejected,
One more time.

What is it about you
that makes my desire
an open wound

sealed with
your
compassionate touch alone..

Why is it
I  wince,
haunted by thoughts
adorned and quelled only by you.

Paint me like a master
With traces of  your stained hands
along my gaping silhouette.
Heal me with finger tips tainted by mine own blood.

Draw me into your murderous self,
Love me back to life.

Immersed in your energies,
I am trapped
inside the cemented
memory
of your hard embrace.

Pinned,
I struggle to set
free the fiery passion
from my molten core.

Not unlike a meteor
races toward Earth
knowing it will perish,
I am defiant.

I penetrate the barrier

Now I am meteor dust
that will transform into snow
that will one day
melt in your mouth.

I find my island
within.

I take refuge
under the canopy
of trees that
bore fruit
from thousands of lifetimes
of sun kissed smiles
and salt laden tears.

Above, I see rain infused by
meteor mist.
i marvel at this landscape a million times caressed by dust filled snow.

I take a bite from its mystical fruit.

the wistful wind clears my vision
and I am surrounded by the deep blue
of heavenly earth.

Reflecting on the ocean
vast and wild
in her savage beauty,
I remember this is but a
web of dreams
we conjured up.

Releasing
the mind,
floating free..

Awake!
I pay homage,
reveling
in this real
and silken
reverie.

A hollow takes root in my heart,

I watch helpless
as this cavern empties
its once warm elixir,
now cool as coal
on a bed of dying embers.

suddenly,
trepidation surges
upending my
quiet comfort
while voices whisper in an upswell

"this safety on the razor's edge
is an illusion
and must be returned
to the debt ridden sea!"

slowly the mist settles,
revealing the great divide.

I hold my breath
and  go under

A hollow grows in my heart.

helpless, I watch
this cavern empty its once warm
elixir,
cool like coal
on a bed of dying embers.

Trepidation surges,
upending my
quiet comfort
while voices whisper

"this safety on the razor's edge
is an illusion
and must be returned
to the debt ridden sea"

slowly the mist settles,
revealing the great divide.

I hold my breath
and  go under

Celebrate Chaos!

Revel in the mess
that lies just outside your well patterned,
Suffocating life.

Breathe and Let explore the new dream of freedom!
Breathe and Let everything turn new..

Be not afraid
'Tis only  life seeking to set itself free.
Be not afraid,
dear friend!
it is time, now
to bravely bare your light.

You turned night to day,
The sun into moon.

You turned evil to good
weaving darkness into light,
revealing they are but one and the same.

Oh Magi!
I am in service
To you alone

For it was you who taught
that all springs from nothing ,
that a true master
Serves himself first,
and that there is divine beauty in chaos!

I am in service to you
for you serve
the sacred God head.
but above all I am in service to you
because you do not claim to be master of
anyone
but You.

I walk around this house
with its half rebuilt body
and battered soul,
calling it my home.

Can't quite tell
what it's hiding,
If you don't look carefully.

but if you do
you might feel
resilience and fortitude
coursing through its bones,
entering through its broken
magic door.

12 long years now
since that act of
divine madness,
staged within these walls,
changed
Everything.


- ~

You took your beautiful life,
on an otherwise ordinary
Saturday eve
while the summer sun
hung high
above the moody waters of the lake
and rays of light,
I imagine,
flickered through
the basement window

I was on the phone
with you..
not knowing
till later,
the immensity of what was created
in that moment.

the one that blew me apart forever,
the one that hurls me toward infinite still,
like a dying star seeking a galaxy.

You stayed with me
in silence
until death gently choked you,
then kissed your hands.

You stayed with me
until in lifelessness you dropped the phone,
privileging me with your last moment
honouring me with your last breath.

Lest you are playing tricks on me
Let me warn you

I can make time stand still
and the moon dissappear

I can change the course of winds
and orchestrate waves to rise,
flooding plains and barren lands

lest you are playing games

I will open a portal
where we spin out of time,
hurl through space
and land on Mars.

But the one thing
I can't do
Is figure out if
you are playing games,
or is is that you just don't care
for me ?

Your gaze stays with me
as I reflect deeply
on our brief encounter,
nestled between setting sun
and break of dawn.

On the wings of lust
we burned away
the hours of night,
peeling back layers
of entrapped pain,
alive with pleasure

setting one or another free
in a sea of  love.

If you could agree,
Dear One,
to let that love,
as vast as the ocean,
like a wave
land upon my shores
again and again...

I would show you
How deep and far
these waters reach

A sweet taste lingers
Where your soul seared mine

lips like honey,
I still feel the nectar of love
scarring depths aroused many moons
after death closed them
tightly shut.
  
Warm as the summer sun
I can feel the glow of
your exalted love,
like a sheath of rain
penetrating a dying dessert,
bringing me
hungrily back to life.

He came to me
as if in a dream.
Manifest out of thin air
by time and life,
And pure desire itself.

I knew him
yet
it was the urge
to discover him
inch by inch
that drove me to
abandon all sense of
propriety.

I surrendered willfully
as he undressed me,
His hand firmly on my breast,
our lips sealed
in a continuous embrace
while hands and body
thirstily searched for skin to hold on to

I was in a daze,
savouring the moment
with a slight nervousness
unbecoming my usual self,
but appropriate for what
was taking place.

A long awaited affair,
fulfilled suddenly,
On short notice.

One night of abandon
In a hotel room
By the ocean
That lasted long after the day broke...

OH tortured souls,
How well do I know you..
My heart has been shattered,
Exploded into irrepressible bits
From loving you so much.
Once annihilated,
I was able to bear the burden of
This exquisite Existence.
God help me,
I had to became nothing
To be one with all.

Your time will come
When least expected.
When you've all but thrown in the towel
finish line in sight,
the agony of defeat
at your door

This is why you must persevere;
Because all those times
When you were doing things right
And nothing worked out.
When you put in the hard work,
But no one seemed to care..
That time when you learned what it meant
to put your best face forward,
Or your pure heart,
And have it crushed in unforgiving ground
Under sullied shoes - by careless men
Or just cruel and callous  life herself -
The time when you were dragged through the dirt
for endless miles
And came up broken, hardened and brittle
You were weary, blood stained,
With a bridge-less abyss ahead
And cold ashes of a dim hope left.

You still kept your light.

-
Those times
Were but a sentence
Served in the name of resilience
A training ground for
purity of heart
And true resolve.
A battlefield
where Your warrior spirit
Was put to the test.
In a stadium
Where a silent crowd
cheered you on.

-

Now that you've allowed all to take its course
Yes, when you finally lost everything!
You will find all you had efforted for
will come to you with ease

Your touch will
Manifest abundance
Your thoughts manifest understanding
Your breath manifest Compassion
Your vision manifest light.

The time has come
When it is asked of you to accept
That all you touch
will turn to gold

It is the golden rule
That is yours alone...
The ray that honours you.

Now is the time
To learn to
Rejoice
And receive your glorious victory,
Hard earned and
gallantly sought,
with
Graceful Ease.

I transform
Each time
You read me
~
I am alive

Words are empty
Unless you mean what you say
I surmised one still, moonless night.
Even as early spring beckons outside my door
my heart
remains devoid.
-
-
I take my vow of silence, solemnly.
Hiding Behind the glass pane
Waiting..
for tangled feelings
Webbed and aged by neglect
to unravel,
inevitably,
and stir my pen.

You were always strong.
The world is only
giving you
The chance
To show it

Streaming
Endlessly
the days
Between now
And eternity
In search
Of you,
my dear.

No search engine
Optimization
will find you
for me,
'cept the one
Bold enough to
break down fractured seams
Of a disparate  reality

exposing
the trickery  
That is death.

Keep showing me
Your playful games
Keep showing me
Your light

You were Blue-eyed,
wild
A fierce and cautious beauty.
gentle spirit

Did you know how I loved you,
And how, while the rest of the world mourned for Paris,
I cried the saltiest tears
For you
that rainy fall night
when I heard you  
Didn't come home,
One of your pups at your side.

You were not mine
But you haunt me
The same

Were you protecting your pup from
The cougar's watchful prey?
Was it your fate to be struck twice
By the feared and sleek predator

You survived the first time
and made the  news ..
Your owner saving you
With all his heart.

Your wide eyed glance
CapturEd my heart
Like a love laced arrow
The first time we saw each other

I will not lose sight of you yet,
Nor give up hope  
that You will return to your home,
to your pups.
and to the big, gallant
Baretoes
Who fathered them..

I pray for that news,
Bella the beautiful husky.
I will not forget you.
Your blue eyes will mesmerize me
in dreams
till we meet again

Of all the illusions
Death is the Deepest

All hearts bruise
But not all fester
And turn black

Today wasted on rage
Tomorrow too distant
Yesterday a blast and matters not.
And you?
Didn't notice me standing by your side
Even when you kicked me around.
Pathetic.
(me more than you).
Shame Is the sister of tolerance
Which is the brother of victim
And the mother of choice less
Right now,  in this precarious moment,
I've discovered how bitter true  
it is...
that we all
pay dearly
for the sins of our father.

Lips sealed tight;
inside
a gaping chasm stares me down.
Patience!
When the abyss unleashes
like a dam unhinged
words will flow
for better or worse
from lips no longer just mine.

The deeper the love
The greater the transformation
At death

You didn't see me watching you
from above.
I was hidden from your view.
there wasn't much space between us..
Just a staircase, a living room and
a large window pane.

Through the reflective glass,
With grand mountains looming behind,
a splendid horizon
and the afternoon sun's gentle glow,
I watched as you spoke kindly to my father.

Unaware of my eyes on you
your mouth moved softly,
and words were silenced
by the space between us.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed with feeling..
a deep and warm satisfaction rose
up in me,
perched there in my safe spot,
realizing that I can still care for you.

You with that charming smile
and charismatic presence.
Cool, calm, and collected
in that moment.
Not wild and beastly
Or ragingly mad
Like, to my grave dismay,
you sometimes are..

I savored that moment!
Knowing full well
that, like all moments,
It wouldn't last.
Realizing that love is,
above all ,
forgiving.
that you are still attractive to me,
that I can still love you deeply...

from a  beautiful distance.

                  ----