i wish to touch the bits of you that endure my dirt.
i wish
more than ever the shape of your face in the curve of my long and twisted fingers.
there's something about it that make my hands
okay to look at again.
like they may have a found a fitful purpose, caressing the demon mouth
that kisses my angel teeth,
residing underneath
my loved lips
that send trips
to your words.
they encase your bright
eyes
and devour the confidence left in them.
but what i meant
to say was, i see your bright
eyes
showing fight to the fence
that you build so high.
i can see the lies shine
like a light was tied ,
just for me to breach them.
just so i could teach them,
you are one to beat them.
even though its you who seeds them.

emitting the aroma of tainted goodness and its all
okay
because of the eutony of this all.
these words can break my fall.
if i make the call,
and summon the space,
my soul
will come and take the place
of the weak face
i can no longer
sonder,
anymore in the background of your filled up recognitions.

there's
no
space
for
my
sad
face.
there's
no
place
for
my
heart
ache.

sent into solivagance.

this is a dark red redamancy,
one of a curse.
the birth
of our breakage
started at the first
touch of a sacred
unto a scarred soul.
and she cried
finding nothing but an empty black hole,
in return. forever churned
in a lustuous magnetism.
a
love prison.

its something that buries itself
beneath all the logic in my heart,
creeping from underneath my sins.
its some kind of wonder,
beckoning the birth rights
of every death in my future.

[ it's some kind of mutual case of kalopsia. ]

Of all the questions that beg my being,
why do my fingers still only look straight
when they're resting on your rigid face ?

𝗧𝗪: 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It wasn't until I heard
Someone say, "me too"
That I started to view
That this pain was from you.
And you. And you.
And yes, you too.
But especially... 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

I came fractured and bruised.
The deprecation of my self worth
Started before you.
I'd long since been used
As a punching bag for others'
Emotional wounds.

So, when I met you...
I was a perfect package
Of cracked porcelain
Just pretty enough
To salvage.

Your attention and approval
Became my food.
Like a flower needs the sun
I thought that without you
Shining on me
That I'd be all for none.

Your claws dug deep in my belly,
And mine into yours.
Validating eachother,
In a toxic swirl.
You in the center,
Creating a world,
Where "no" has no weight,
Coming from a young girl.

"You're so pretty" you said.

My skin was like rice paper.

"I love the curls on your head"

My throat was titanium.

"Come sleep in my bed."

My stomach turned sideways.

I had told myself enough times by now,
"This is what you signed up for,
So you'd better allow.
It comes with the territory."
I believed this somehow.

I attached so much of myself to you.
Addicted to the magic,
scattered in with the abuse.
The pleasure in the pain,
Covering up the dark truth.
So well, I couldn't tell
That we were actually living
In some kind of hell,
Being sold to us
As love and friendship,
But it was just a shell
For dead end *******.

Sometimes I find I look back
To these times reminiscing,
But then all I can think is,
"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨?"

Cause now I sit here and wonder,
Why did I have no edge?
I had lost the understanding of what
A "no" feels like in bed.

It took me years to cut you off.
𝗧𝗲𝗻 to be exact.
All this time I've hidden
These dark secrets of the past.

Not even realizing
It was fear
Holding me back.
Not even realizing
That this ****
Fed how I act.

𝗜𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟮 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 "𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿" 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

How brain washed is 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

Ever since I dug your
Claws out of my belly,
My wounds began to heal
And i started to see fully,
This relationship with you -
You were nothing but a bully.
𝗔 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲.

I've liberated myself from you.
And all the guilt and shame.
Understanding now,
Why so long I played your game.
I've taken back my power, and
I've taken back my name.
I'm not a victim of abuse.
I'm a raging, healing flame.
Burning down what you became.

Ashes are easy to blow away.
I rid of you and I'm on my way.
No longer afraid,
Of the monsters in the night.
Because, guess what?

I know what a '𝘆𝗲𝘀' feels like.

Mica Light

[𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎]

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗?

𝙸'𝚖 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏
𝙰 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗.



[𝙸]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚞𝚗 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚛𝚋𝚒𝚝
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎
𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚖.


[𝙸𝙸]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗.



[𝙸𝙸𝙸]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚕𝚍
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗
𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜.



[𝙸𝚅]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚑.



[𝚅]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍.



[𝚅𝙸]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚍 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚗
𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐,
𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐.

... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕.



[𝚅𝙸𝙸]
𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚞𝚗 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚕𝚎
𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 -
(𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.)


... 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.



[𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎]

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗,
𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚘𝚠?

𝙸'𝚖 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍
𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.


[𝙵𝚒𝚗]


- 𝙼𝚒𝚌𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝  

       𝟶𝟾/𝟶𝟾/𝟸𝟹

I don't know how
To get her home,
Or if she has one...
Does 𝘴𝘩𝘦 even know?

If I reached out my hand,
Would she even pull?

She's been making herself larger.
I can feel her reappearance.
She gets brighter, I get darker.
Interfering with my impulse,
And it happened again...

I forgot how I got here,
Don't where I began.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

The wind
Hasn't spoken
To me in weeks,
And I miss her.

I've lasted, but
In some ways
I haven't found
What she left me with.

I love how the sky
Is stitched to my skin,
Breathing life to my bones...
𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

I sit with myself
A little too often.
Is it healthy
To stare this deep?

I find what
I'm looking for,
But then I always
Find more to look for...

And I wonder,
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦?
A broken record
Reminding me.

𝘈𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯...

These universal lessons -
They have no end.

I could try to find
The reasons why,
But I haven't much time.
So I don't ask why.

For I am much too far
From the night sky stars,

     To ever,

                truly,

                      know.


                           .♡.

                   ▪︎ mica light ▪︎

Clearly now I see,
That my soul had a plan.
Laid out perfectly for me,
To endure and withstand.

No I wouldn't do it over,
But Id never give it up.
I just keep moving forward,
Through the lessons I pick up.

I hear it in my soul,
When it's time to make a move.
A pull I can't control,
Brings me to another truth.

A lesson meets me there,
But at first I'm blind to see it.
Repeat repeat - til I'm aware,
And then she will reveal it.

Soul decoding old ways,
Uploading what is new.
These stories of your earthly days,
Are the building blocks of you.

The source collecting energy,
From all your transformation.
With every ancestor redeemed,
She is raising her vibration.

So tune into your highest self,
And don't you ever doubt,
That you come from a higher realm,
Made of stardust all throughout.

You bring this all within you,
So watch carefully for signs.
Youll know just what to do,
When the universe aligns.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

Hiding. She's
Trying. I keep her
Confined.

Sleeping. She's
Weeping. She screams out her
Cries.

Falling. She's
Calling. There's pain in her
Eyes.

Dormant. She's
Latent. She feels
Paralyzed.

Shifting. She's
Drifting. But I keep her
Inside.

Uneasy. She's
Queasy. Yet I
Minimize.

Refracted. She's
Lasted. She cant be
Denied.

Bleeding. She's
Seeking. To be
Recognized.

Unwitting. I'm
Splitting. I say my
Goodbyes.

Heating. It's
Fleeting. My old peace of
Mind.

Conquered. I'm
Anchored. I'm treading
Neck-high.

Drowning. Heart
Pounding. My sight going
Blind.

Vehement. Not
Present. I am losing my
Pride.

Engaging. I'm
Raging. She's loud from
Inside.

Neurotic. I'm
seasick. From pain left
Behind.

Messy. We're
Heavy. There's blood on our
Lies.

Damage. I
Manage. This fall from up
High.

Numbness. Crave
Oneness. This banal state,
Mine.

Transgressing. Keep
shedding. And I'll find her
Smile.

Uplifting. Deep
Thinking. I tame what is
Wild.

           Releasing and healing
                     My own inner-child.

      
☼ Mica Light

Freedom isn't all flowers
And it isn't day dreams for hours
It isn't always your favourite taste
Redemption isn't always the case

In fact, freedom likes to give us choices
It's the reason we can use our voices
Try on words of all kinds
Thoughts on repeat change our minds

Freedom has a lesson to teach
That we all will learn eventually
A wretched vice of love internally
Permitting our suffering certainly

Freedom isn't all flowers
And it isn't high skies and towers
It's a power of will so specially
Designed for us to guide our destiny

In truth, freedom is like the spirit
Neutral to life but ever coherent
Providing us the great option
Of sleeping, or becoming conscious

Freedom has a message to send:
Forever within you can transcend
Trust the person you are within
For our lives are never stone written.

-miss_mica(<3)

The Birth Of Gaia

"The changes themselves are already under way for quite some time. They are energetic changes, not so much on a physical 3D level. The Hunab Ku wave signal, on its way to Earth aka Gaia, will open a Stargate. The wavefront will get here by the end of 2012.

In physical terms Hunab Ku (Hunab Ku aka Perseus aka Ouroboros, the Milky Way Serpent who swallows its own tail) is a quasar radio source, also known as Sagittarius A, 'weighting' about 4 million suns and so 40 million kilometers (or 2 light minutes) across and about 25,627 lightyears distant from the core of the Earth.

The changes will result via energy Matrix changing not the planet itself. Gaia's ascension is interdimensional, not physical.

Changing the rotation and inertia of Earth (geographic pole shifts,..etc) could easily destroy the planet. The higher dimensional envelope is changing (subtly seen in environmental changes).

Energy shift is slowly displacing the old Matrix - this is the ascension. By 2013 it will complete the reconfiguration. Old humanity will be "forced" to either adapt or go crazy. The less "dense" reconfiguration will enable the ET (extra terrestrial ) contact by then. Until that time, ET will only be seen as plasma (white light, orbs..shadows of 4D).

There will be a pole shift....but at the center of the Earth. Its a dimensional 'Opening' or Rupture of spacetime itself as a 'SelfIntersection', of geometry. The wave signal will than bounce back and begin transmitting all the gathered data from Noospehre aka Akashic Records aka... to the entire universe."

THE COUNCIL OF THUBAN

My tornado spins in vicious cycles.
Those calm winds, I haven't felt in a while.
'Cause the rain, it only ever pours.
Comes down on me so hard, it's leaving sores.

The winds kick up; become a cyclone.
One giant mess I can't seem to sort on my own.
And broken sticks and chunks of leaves,
they twirl inside my tornado of dis-beliefs.

My loves have left this hurricane on my plate.
After all my wrongs though, it's probably my fate,
To twirl so cluelessly in a mind I hate.
I'll be lost in my hurricane head for days.

It'd be nice if the sun could break through these clouds.
The clouds that 'cause the winds to crowd
Every last proper thought I know
Gets broken and tossed in my tornado.

I can't even distinguish right thoughts from wrong.
Anybody I know never sticks around too long.
They're thrown in my head, jumbled with everything else.
Take a decent beating, then to another hand they're dealt.

My loves have left this hurricane on my plate.
After all my wrongs though, it's probably my fate,
To twirl so cluelessly in a mind I hate.
I'll be lost in my hurricane head for days.

Or maybe it's me who's taking these beatings.
I sure as hell know that my skull's lost its feeling.
I know I'm loveless, sleepless, clueless.
I know I'm powerless, useless; just a mess.

I know I'm a lost child refusing the right care.
I know I wanna do this on my own, so don't you dare.
And I know I'm gunna fight this tornado alone.
But at the same time, everything i know,

**I really don't.

"Trust is like an object, full of impermanence. One with entropy, its inevitable to be broken. After all, it's the breaking of trust that I often see spread two people far apart. But a ground shattering passion, contrary to trust, is not so easily broken. Not so delicate. It is strong. Of many forms. Very hard to grasp. And so it remains the only glue I've ever seen to keep two people together."

Your eyes drip hot wax
on the bare of my back.
I 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘮 at the 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯,
𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.
  
I dont make a sound
as it cools down.
Your 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘦 fastened 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵,
𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗸𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.

You flash me your teeth -
I forget how to breathe.
And I 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦, I can't 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦
𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
    
So I fill up the room
with the scent of my mood.
Can't 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘺 you get 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩
𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗼.
    
Your tongue licks your lips.
Hungry, I am your fix.
Well 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 in your 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥
𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀.

You follow my gridlines,
I etch you in fineline.
𝘌𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥, we've 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘥
𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘀.
  
Your skin sends out shivers
to make my hips quiver.
They're 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 and 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲.

I keep it discrete
as you watch me low key,
til 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 on the
𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗿.


▪︎ mica light ▪︎

I don't know what I've been thinking.

Not sure why I've been acting
Like I don't exist.
I have missed
Every bit
Of my waking soul.
And yet,
I've put myself to bed
For too many nights too long.

When did I stop loving myself?
I can't remember how or when or why
Or if i tried
not to let this part of me die.
It could be all the times
I couldn't get the tears to dry.

All I know,
is I apologize.

Because it used to be real.
I want to get back to how I used to feel.

And honestly I have known all along.

Let me just remind myself:
There's love forever
on the center shelf.
No trust wh'soever
with no one else.
Just the Sun
and myself.

I feel too much
and I take the hit.
In my wicked place --
I always get bit.
Not from any face.
Nor cast by no smiles.
It's all in the time line.
The levels of your dials.

But let me step back and remind myself.

I care too much
and link right in.
I know I am just
hooked on skin.
So cut the lust
and tame the fire.
Pass the hour
with me, I'm tired.

Let me just remind my self,
of all the love
on my center shelf.

'Cause **** i feel
like I'm running out.
Action surrounds me
like its all about:

**"how much else can i get
and still have you?"

In the eye of making it in mind.
It is a simple touch, divine.
Of the age that is upon us.
So be nothing but honest.
'Cause she lifts the soul that's separate.
No hate. No hurt. No feeling desperate.

It's the beautifully un-imagined dimension.
That peaceful, patient, pure intention.
And I'll lock in every here & now.
A feeling, a check-point, a 'knowing' how.
Then the universe, it wants to dance!
And I did call upon this chance..
Been a spiral spin through each one yet.
A push, a step, I won't forget.
But I wonder what is coming next?
What my mind will manifest.
What sort of series of events,
Will this raw thought just have me sent?

Maybe a milking of emotions?
Surely sad talks and smart notions.
Big love, big sun, and big dance.
High skies, high times, and high trance.
A simple there and simple back.
Words that say this, but really mean that.
And I will pull back, I do retract.
'Cause inside there's nothing to distract,
My touch on divine;
My making it in mind.
The age that is upon us.
Be simple. Be honest. <3

I don't believe you when you say
that your hands are tied.

I don't believe you when you say
that your hands don't have holes in them.

That the sand doesn't slowly pour out through the cracks between your fingers.

...

𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯...

when you asked me
to hand you my soul,

that the depths of its love,
your hands, 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱.

...

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

"Princess, why are you so sad?"

"I don't know."

"Princess, are you mad?"

"I suppose."

"But hate - that doesn't hurt you?"

"I cannot tune into hate."

"So princess, it is only love that you can see, then?"

"Yes."

"And this love, through karmic law, damages you?"

"Indeed."

"So princess, what will you do?"

"I don't know. I don't know..."

In the morning
The sky
Is so beautiful.
The wind
sways the trees
And urges me
to dance.
The sun's rays
Shine with clarity
And the birds' songs
Invite the light.

I am at peace.

So.. I can be.

But,

Sometimes...

Swiftly...

Do you hear it?
There's a whispering...
Don't listen.
It's a trap.
There's no way.
There's no chance.

There it is again,
That fear.
The storm -
Here it comes.
Buckle down.
Id better hide.
Quick, try.
Before it sweeps
Me up too high...

But it's got my mind.
It's here.
Strong and loud,
This time.
And not slowly, but
Instantly, It
Sweeps,
Me,
Up.

I am thrown in.
I am lost within
A black space
With no boundary.
I can't find the edge.
And I've forgotten,
How,
To function.

I scream.
I collapse.
I cry.
I destroy.
I despise
Every bit
of myself.
And, still
I can't find
The way out of here.

The storm -
It thrusts
And sways.
Unsettles
And circulates.
Until it
Can no longer
Keep up
With demands.

The perpetual motion
Slows down,
And the winds
Begin to calm.
But the black
Smokey fog
Doesn't leave...

The dust
begins to settle
On top packages
Of self doubt,
Shame,
Guilt,
And worthlessness.

Then without warning
Gravity pulls me
Back
Into my body.
And in silence,
I am left,
Sifting through
What remains of me...
Shattered sorrow
Tired eyes, and
No light that I can see.

...

I am so angry
Because
The sky
Was so beautiful today.
And so was I.
But I wasn't bigger
Than the storm.

Not this time.

• Mica Light •

She calls and cries,
But there are only echoes
Bouncing on the walls
Of my empty chest.

She is forgotten.
She gets pushed aside.

𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥?

.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

Your lips
Are bliss
Upon which
I land so
Gracefully
With every kiss. <3

As the moon loves the stars, and
as the sun loves the sky, and
as the shorelines love the ocean,
I Love You.

She swirls in the heart shaped air you graced her space with.
Twirling your image with the tip of her finger into her spiralling curls.
You are becoming well entangled in her blonde mess.
She can get high by the thought of you, and this awakens her...

For this feeling runs the course of her veins and plants itself right at the heart.
Her soul receives the message and the beat begins to start.
Her chest, it thumps your rhythm and her blood can hear your tune.
It's pulsing to the sound sending her right back to you.'

"Love doesn't need to be torturous.
It can be safe yet ever curious.
Lost in love, delirious.
But more than ever -- Real."

-xoXox-

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘥?

"Bury me,
in your protection."
𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥,
"Keep me
and my heart collected."
𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥,
"I will
embrace your affection,
𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐,
feel safe
wrapped in this connection."

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐...

𝗚𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

I handed you in pieces,
all my beauty and my truth.
You promised you would hold them
with love the whole way through.

𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥,
to believe
that it was 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺,
I believed
that it was 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

But for some reason, this feeling
makes me commit treason.
I cause my own bleeding
and my boundaries weaken.

This lighting's deceiving
and I'm seeking to find,
the line intervening
between you and I.
But it's gone to the night.
You're all that I want.
You're all that's in sight.

I don't want to escape 𝘺𝘰𝘶,
or this 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭 on my 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.

So, when you asked me...
"𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?"

𝗜 𝗴𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲.

Blinded by
this lustful yearn. I'd,
never seen eyes that
didn't fear me first. I'd,
never met a mouth
so pretty as yours.

Craving the flavour,
the taste of my curves.
Seeking to savour
the twists and the turns,
of 𝘮𝘺 body, 𝘮𝘺 kiss,
and 𝘮𝘺 tongue.

My 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻 and my 𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀
to you I'd serve.

All I can do is
𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙪𝙢𝙗.

𝘐𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵...

I forgot just where
my mind went. I'd,
misplaced and lost
the sentiment, that
centres me
in these,
elements. The,
intensity
is relevant
to the detriment
of my disconnect
to the self I sense.
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐...

𝗟𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 I know is true.

When you asked for me,
I gave you 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 than you could 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘸.

And I wanted you to swallow it, 𝙩𝙤𝙤.

But the problem is...
All this complicated
**** you say
I regurgitated,
is a result of how
intoxicated
I am from always
accomodating
a level of love
approximated. I,
never know if I'm
dominated, or
if this loves
consolidated, and

all I did,
was 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 this...

Slowly losing you. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴...
Never finding truth...
Never knowing what you do.

Giving me a piece,
and then taking back two.

Pushing and pulling
in and out of my view.
Raining down sentiments
that keep me confused.

I can't find my way
in the dark of the moon.
Can't locate your love
in this light, misconstrued.

As I pick up the pieces
you dont care to lose,
I start to 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 if 𝗜
can 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝...

And thats when I lost me.
𝙄 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙬.

Tumbling backwards
to a past I once knew,
of cyclical madness
and embedded abuse.

In madness and lament,
I'm fully consumed.
My 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 meets the 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵,
and I act like a 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗹.

𝘈𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,
looking right 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵.

𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯.

On this trail I'm left lost in...
When you leave - it turns to 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.

...

I wish you hadn't held my hand,
telling me about your youth.
Carving our names in the sand,
only not to pursue.

I wish you wouldn't say name,
when you look at the moon.
Whispering melodies
in a deviant tune.

For I am 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥
by the dance of your mouth,
as it makes your words move
in the night, all throughout.

But I can't be confused
by the beautiful sounds
of a 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦...
Of a song, 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 and 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱.

So this, I return.
For my heart, I must choose:
to 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘁 or to 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻,
or to let myself  𝗯 𝗹 𝗼 𝗼 𝗺 .

     𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴,
     𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥.

So, I've sealed this in 𝘄𝗮𝘅,
    
     and sent it
𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸  
     to   the   𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻  .


▪︎ mica light ▪︎

When she visits me,
All crystal rivers meet.
Meet me in my shining dream.
Pulsing an underlying tone,
That moves me beyond all anchors.
Simple like my love stone.
How sweet to be alone,
With you.
How sweet these sunny daze,
Are true.

<3

Tell me,
How do you walk
With all of that pain?

You move on this earth
Steady, going
For so long now
That you believe
This is
A part of you.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

It sits, quietly
Draining your will,
Your connection.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

It sits, numbing
Out feelings,
Causing friction.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

It sits, waiting
For your eviction.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

So locate it, banish it.
I promise you, I swear
Oh, precious one,

You'll find that 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

" My mind is like a twine that I can't unwind. Knots and a kink forming the thoughts that I think. Please tell me ma'am, how do you do the do that no one ever knew? How do you comprehend how to fix a bend that you've tried so hard to mend? "*

( KL )

..............................................................­.....................

" Simplify the fine mind, for the eyes to find what your most certain time of bliss and highs will hide inside.  You're the dream kind. BE kind. BE simple. BE honest. The light is well upon us. " <3

( MM )

Crystalline Palace,
Wave to the other side.
Touch my mountain, high peak.
𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸?
Hold your breath, cause
It's hard for us to know.
Though inside, it does reside.
We push through the unknown.
Awaiting your arrival,
My soul begins to float
In the glimmer of the moon.

My Angels Say You'll Be Here Soon.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎