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Mica Light Oct 2
In the morning
The sky
Is so beautiful.
The wind
sways the trees
And urges me
to dance.
The sun's rays
Shine with clarity
And the birds' songs
Invite the light.

I am at peace.

So.. I can be.

But,

Sometimes...

Oh no.
Did you hear it?
There's a whispering.
It's a trap.
There's no way.
There's no chance.

There it is again,
That fear.
The storm -
Here it comes.
Buckle down.
Id better hide.
Quick, try.
Before it
sweeps me
up too high...

But there's
No time.
It's here.
Strong and
Loud.
And not slowly,
But
Instantly,
It sweeps
Me
Up.

I am thrown in.
I am lost within
A black space
With no boundary.
I've forgotten
How to
Function.

I scream.
I collapse.
I cry.
I destroy.
I despise
Every bit
of myself.
And, still
I don't know
The way out of here.

The storm -
It thrusts
And sways.
Unsettles
And circulates.
Until it can
No longer
Keep up
With demands.

The perpetual motion
Slows down
And the winds
Begin to calm.
But the black
Smokey fog
Doesn't leave.

The dust
begins to settle
On top packages
Of self doubt,
Shame,
Guilt,
And worthlessness.

I am left
Resenting
Only myself.
For not doing better.
For being a burden
of a person.

...

I am so angry
Because
The sky
Was so beautiful today.
And so was I.
But I wasn't bigger
Than the storm.

Not this time.

• Mica Light •
This poem reflects how my morning can go into a complete hell so quickly, I dont know how I even got there.
thoughts just slip away
suddenly the whole world around me is spinning
and i’m stuck behind an invisible glass pane
i look down at hands that are now no longer my own
lights are blinding, voices overwhelming
demanding and persecutory
everybody hates me, i need to hurt myself
time is somehow suspended?
i can’t control it
screaming but nobody can hear me
i know that they’re all out to get me
running- not sure where
apparitions of the future
i’m dying
the darkness engulfs
Clara Nov 2017
I can love you & hate you,
All at the very same time,
I can need & yet reject you,
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can blame you & bad mouth you,
I can make you feel, I don’t care,
If only I could explain to you
How much I need you there.

I’m balancing on the borderline
With no safety net below
I’m like a ticking time bomb
Not knowing when I might blow.

I’m loving & argumentative
I’m cruel & yet I’m kind
I’m childish & mature
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can chop & change my mind
Quicker than the weather
I’m like a mound of clay
You can mould me into whatever.

Take my life into your hands
I’ll let you create what I should be
I’ll be whatever you want
Just please don’t leave me be.

— The End —