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Crystalline Palace,
Wave to the other side.
Touch my mountain, high peak.
๐˜ˆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ?
Hold your breath, cause
It's hard for us to know.
Though inside, it does reside.
We push through the unknown.
Awaiting your arrival,
My soul begins to float
In the glimmer of the moon.

My Angels Say You'll Be Here Soon.

โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
Meet me in the moonbeams.
The waves tickle the shore,
Kissing the earth, reminding her
That she is loved.

The sand lives between
The rocks, gently holding and
Keeping them safe.

The trees whisper
Sweet nothings, that ring the
Chimes in my old soul.

And the mountains hug what I cannot.

The sun brings life to the day, and
Comfort in the dusk...
When it melts into oranges, pinks & golds.

Beams of safety coat the ocean.
Golden light washes over me, and
Penetrates my body.

That is when I see you there,
Letting the light lift you;
Dissipate you.

Right now, we are ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† energy.

We are timeless in our golden hour.

I never want to leave this daze.
Let's stay in this golden way.

'Cause it's pretty cool,
That we can stop time,
๐˜๐˜ด๐˜ฏ'๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ต?

โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
She calls and cries,
But there are only echoes
Bouncing on the walls
Of my empty chest.

She is forgotten.
She gets pushed aside.

๐˜ž๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ?


โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
Saudade, (n.): the longing to be near someone or some thing that is distant.
Two stars collide.
They're beautiful -
Moving in,
Towards eachother.

You'd think it'd be a beautiful sight.
But when they touch a spark ignites, and
Up in flames goes everything we know.

๐˜ ๐˜จ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด ๐˜ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ...

My edges are crooked.
My corners are sharp.
My skin can be rough.
My heart can be dark.
For I am a mourner,
Of all of my lives.
Of all of the pain
That this heart has gained.

๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏ'๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ...

I do miss you, and I hope
That you can see,
Behind all the trauma...
There is love. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—บ๐—ฒ.

โ–ช๏ธŽmica lightโ–ช๏ธŽ
Choose company who can hold space for your demons, and you theirs, while you banish them together in solidarity. Know your tribe.

Sidereal, (adj.): determined by or from the stars.
A riveting fracture
Of my current existence.
Clenching my throat,
Trying to squeeze out the dread;
The panic.

I've lost myself -
I don't know where I am, or
Where my body is.

Tense. Because
I'm trying so hard
Not to let go of myself,

"Keep straight.
Keep focused.
Not like that.
Don't think ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜
About ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต.
Don't be that way
About ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ.

It's okay.
Try to breathe.

You have control
Over your mind.

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—น
Over your mind.

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—น
๐—ข๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ."

And it's okay
For a moment,
But the busy hands
Don't shield the silence
For long.

And through that
It comes spinning,
Entwining amongst
My conscious hardwiring.

"You are not welcome!
I don't want to believe it."

But I've been deeply imprinted
To believe
These emotional rules
Are bound to me.

So, often I break;
I give in.

The sheer loneliness
Of the thought
Consumes me.

I wait in the rain,
For when the storm dissipates,

๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฏ.

โ–ช๏ธŽmica lightโ–ช๏ธŽ
Tell me,
How do you walk
With all of that pain?

You move on this earth
Steady, going
For so long now
That you believe
This is
A part of you.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, quietly
Draining your will,
Your connection.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, numbing
Out feelings,
Causing friction.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, waiting
For your eviction.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

So locate it, banish it.
I promise you, I swear
Oh, precious one,

You'll find that ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช'๐™ง๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š.

โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
Your trauma is not you, but in your mind.
So work that **** and love what's left behind.
I open the book.
The first word reads,

I turn the page,
And I rest into restless text.

Lines and curves
Come together
Making the letters
That make the words
That make you, and
I start to fall in love with your adjectives.

As the story writes,
This astonishment I have of you
Was inevitable.

"๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ." ๐˜ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง.

As I read on,
Collected shapes
Come together
Forming the symbols
That create the words
That tell the story
Of what it's like for us to touch.

Seamless sentences
Flow through the pages
Floating our love
Down the river that is
This book.

This story is not for the faint of heart.
For there are rapids,
And falls
Along the way.

There are even times
When we both tried
To write ourselves
Right off the page.

But every time,
The pen just comes around to the other side of the paper.

"๐˜ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด. ๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ." ๐˜ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ.

Our love,
It separates and
Circulates before it
Gravitates us
Back together again.
And again.

Realizing now that this book is a constant.
That we've been written into the same story.
That we float down the same river.

And even when it
Splits in two
And I can't see you
I don't worry,
Because I know you're just
Some pages over,
Writing a part
Of your story.

"๐˜ ๐˜ด๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ." ๐˜ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ...

They talk about the times
When I couldn't find you
In the same chapter.

Periods when your name
Had not been seen next to mine
For so long,
I thought maybe
You found a way
To get the pen
Off the page.

Then just as I would
Conquer my rapids
And approach a place of calm,
Out of no where
You would float along.
And just like that
It felt like
You were never even gone.

United we float,
Our names in tow
Each with a pen
On the page
And a row
In the boat.
Writing the story that writes us.

"Where does this river go?"
You ask. And suddenly,
I know.

"This is where we have been headed along."

We silently drift to the end.
But the water does not fall,
The river runs into a rising sky.
Flowing ribbons of crystal lace.
This is our meeting place.
We have been here once before.

Have we been enough?

Two souls,
With a thousand stories
Lived and told.

A thousand timeless masterpieces.

"๐˜ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ." ๐˜ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜บ,
"๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ."
And that is when her heart began to swell.

Ancient stories locked
In our DNA, released
Into the universal sea.
And finally,
She could see
All the lessons
That she needs
To at last
Her healing.

๐—ฆ๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป.

And so it seems,
Our fountains are filled
With masterpieces
Lived and killed.
We will move into eternity.
This I know certainly.

๐™”๐™ค๐™ช ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™„ ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ช๐™œ๐™.

โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
An Ode To An Ancient Love Story.
S e x u a lย ย energy, invade me.
Permeate through my skin.
Sipping on sin
And tasting all the places
We've been.

S e x u a lย  energy, encase me.
Cover me in tongue.
Lust filled lungs
Breathe heavy til I come

S e x u a lย  energy, envelope me.
Consume me in your grip.
Sip on my lips
And seal me with your

S e x u a lย  energy, enter me.
Arrive inside of me to find
My melting mind
Cascading into rivers,
At the bed side.
The ground is always trembling.
Bound to break beneath me.

A constant storm is brewing.
Don't know when it could release.

My body seeking safety.
There is no where to go.

The energy within me
is shaking, screaming "no".

Pressure from the inside out.
Skin bursting at the seams.

No wonder I am overwhelmed,
If this is how it's always been.

Mica Light
When there's nothing to do, no where to be, nothing I truly need... Why is that such a hard state for me to be?
In the morning
The sky
Is so beautiful.
The wind
sways the trees
And urges me
to dance.
The sun's rays
Shine with clarity
And the birds' songs
Invite the light.

I am at peace.

So.. I can be.




Do you hear it?
There's a whispering...
Don't listen.
It's a trap.
There's no way.
There's no chance.

There it is again,
That fear.
The storm -
Here it comes.
Buckle down.
Id better hide.
Quick, try.
Before it sweeps
Me up too high...

But it's got my mind.
It's here.
Strong and loud,
This time.
And not slowly, but
Instantly, It

I am thrown in.
I am lost within
A black space
With no boundary.
I can't find the edge.
And I've forgotten,
To function.

I scream.
I collapse.
I cry.
I destroy.
I despise
Every bit
of myself.
And, still
I can't find
The way out of here.

The storm -
It thrusts
And sways.
And circulates.
Until it
Can no longer
Keep up
With demands.

The perpetual motion
Slows down,
And the winds
Begin to calm.
But the black
Smokey fog
Doesn't leave...

The dust
begins to settle
On top packages
Of self doubt,
And worthlessness.

Then without warning
Gravity pulls me
Into my body.
And in silence,
I am left,
Sifting through
What remains of me...
Shattered sorrow
Tired eyes, and
No light that I can see.


I am so angry
The sky
Was so beautiful today.
And so was I.
But I wasn't bigger
Than the storm.

Not this time.

โ€ข Mica Light โ€ข
This poem reflects how my morning can go into a complete hell so quickly, I dont know how I even got there.
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