I deserve someone who cuts their hands picking stars for me

today after many moons , I rose with the sun. The birds pulled me by my hair to come feel the crisp air. The breeze wrapped me up in a frozen blanket. And that’s when you said you’ll be surrounding me. Strange how your embrace is cold, when I can’t hear the warmth of an “I love you”

Strange of how “home” is only warm when I’m under your wrath begging for air. You are air. That which flows through my trachea into my vessel .
Air head - filled with none but you.

Inside me, filling me to the brim with your colorful splatters. Just a litre more, *** on daddy. Almost there... pooooof, sudden release. Watch the birds are flying. The heavy winds have quitened down. A calm after the storm.
Pleasure in all forms, surround me, in you.
A breeze on the cold morning fueled by the cotton candy sky.

Who knew a 2 ply Egyptian cotton duvet could feel so heavy on my tiny body.
Who knew that a mattress could **** me into it , tangling it’s fibers to my veins.
Who knew that a pillow would make me sink a billion parallel universes away from the love of my life.
Who knew that getting out of bed would be so difficult?
Who knew that the very bed would keep me from your light.
Who knew that, that bed would take you away from me.
~ a story about depression and a bed

Thank you for wrapping your souls tears in a box for me , thank you for the pretty ribbon , thank you for remembering I like pink and how words rhyme.

Sickness surrounds me
I can feel the germs penetrating inside me and exploding
Leaving evidence ...
drip dripping out of me I was as the disease leaves my body and I am cleansed I am new
I am invigorated by what I see in that sick infused room
I am left with a softness as I watch a father holding his new baby in one hand and how you watched with such awe maybe one day I will mother your children you will look at me with more starry filled eyes than now
I heard a teenage girl argue with her mom about a name for her new sibling
This poem is really bad but I’m sick and there’s so much health within me

Shhh
Watch the door ****
Is it turning ?
Is it a monster ?
...
Why are you quiet?
Are you scared little girl?
You’re so weak sitting there wrapped in your little blanket?
Do i make you nervous ? Haha I’m just asking if you’re okay

“Mommy I need you , come save me “ I need to be held away from the man of the house
He’s not ordinary right now
He’s a toxic mix of all ***** drugs and I don’t know when his gonna blow

Baba come hold me I know you cry too but you are stronger and not scared andyiu know how to survive in a mad house
Thank you for looking after the little baby
She likes you and how your entire hand fits on her face
You’re not gonna save her
She’s a little lost right now maybe a little to scared or nervous she feels alone even though she can feel your hand on her head, caressing it slowly till she fades
I see faces with cross eyes in my head
Why? I want to stab your eyes they serve no purpose

I’m not the type of beautiful that aggressors with your senses all at once, nor am I the type to make the stars stare. But I am the type of beauty that dictates spaces ,I **** up air with my soft energy, and I lure you’re in bit by bit , making you uncover the depths of my beautiful
I then start ******* your fears and painting them with rose water, I feel the textures of how you think and submerge myself into the folds of your brain ,I begin to creep around in your thoughts and I implant the real me ,and this is when my beauty will overpower your feelings
Never harshly my love , by softly , like the drip of a tap, and this implantation is worse than being injected with venom that kills you slowly.
You will bow down to my beautiful , because it’s the type that takes your life slowly , the type that you don’t realize is there.

I miss writing
But just like breathing and eating
It’s a chore to accomplish and if I don’t
It’s a failure

I’m lying
I’m no longer obsesssive over sadness but when the neurons in my mind spark the wrong way I electrocuted into a nothing
A vegetable in a stunning garden with the rays of my person permeating onto my corpuscles and the violent silence
The lack of my mothers warmth is making me freeze
A block of purée a orange blob

Why do I continue to prescribe by being to nothing when the rays aim to elevate my status to heaven
Why do I self deprecate
I used to write so well and this poem is everywhere and no where and I’m being honest and I’m scrambling my mind is going to burst ahhhh
A label quick find it....
Anxious, scared ... defeat, nothing , fail , oblivioun
AHUT UP I’m tired
I want to sleep
I want to hold the rays hand his warm mum come here , don’t leave me
I’ve left me too
Find me
I’m here
Screaming for help
What am I suffering from
CAN ANY BODY HEAR MEE

Baby I think I have the power
Let us heal
Let us be whole
Let us talk our selves into existence by being great
By becoming undestroyed by what has been the greatest creation
You are magic and I will not alter my perception of you by making you less because of your choices
You are greater than what you do to other people
You are you and your vibrations are mighty
They are not on my wavelength and that is why they scar me
But the battle is not defeated it has been signed in a peaceful treaty where we split the treasure
The treasure being us completely
We can now reclaim ourselves by leaving this comfortable war
The safeness must end and we must face what we fear most
The raw us .
We must discover the cravesses of our flaws and embrace them how we embraced eachother
We are not monsters we are light
And I’m going to write about what you have unlocked within my brain
The system of my mind has been broken by your manifestos of who I am
I must take your mighty text and write my own manifestos of who I am and through this I will heal
By myself

I love you eternally
It started with beautiful words with the rebirth
Let it Rest In Peace with beautiful words too , because above all this safe haven was contentment

Goodbye my forever spirit
My always energy
I swear to always hover around you with light and to guide you on your journey with the love I have gifted you

He reminded me of the
night but his very eyes lit
up an entire city//

I’m not the type of beautiful that aggressors with your senses all at once, nor am I the type to make the stars stare. But I am the type of beauty that dictates spaces ,I **** up air with my soft energy, and I lure you’re in bit by bit , making you uncover the depths of my beautiful
I then start ******* your fears and painting them with rose water, I feel the textures of how you think and submerge myself into the folds of your brain ,I begin to creep around in your thoughts and I implant the real me ,and this is when my beauty will overpower your feelings
Never harshly my love , by softly , like the drip of a tap, and this implantation is worse than being injected with venom that kills you slowly.
You will bow down to my beautiful , because it’s the type that takes your life slowly , the type that you don’t realize is there.

Its not easy loving someone who does not have one ounce of love for themselves
or someone who finds it hard to love you because they were never taught how to
someone that is more comfortable playing violins in perfect symphony with their demon companions
rather than engulfing the sound of sweet melodic pianos by your side

it is not easy but i would wreck myself a thousand times just for the hope of you falling in love with all the purity that i have discovered beneath your skin.