It hurts seeing you
and I see you every day.

It hurts sitting next to you.
It hurts having you so close
yet incredibly so far.

I am hurting all the time
for the wrong reasons.

I no longer know if this is love
or just a dangerous game of tag.
But I know that this is all consuming.

My love for you is consuming.
And I have to stop playing.

"No"

Your voice got lost in the noise of the streets
yet it echoed endlessly in my head.
For a split-second, I thought,
"I never knew two letters could hurt so bad."
But surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much.

The air got colder and I felt braver.
It was as if I grew a pair of wings
and took off to the night sky,
piercing thick clouds with speed.
I needed your no to see me free.

"But we could still be friends, right?"

Those are the words that deprived me
of my wings, my happiness, my freedom.
In a heartbeat, I was falling again.
The pavement zooms in as I crashed
to the cold hard ground.

Light-deprived, I've lived in the night.
Treading terrain was my life-long plight.
Defeated, I convinced myself that light
would never, never reach my sight.
Then suddenly, I saw you.

All at once, your stars clothed my night.
Fractals of your light illuminated the earth,
putting an end to these endless nights.
You gave a gentle pull at the seams.
My once dark world now brims with light.

I gazed into your eyes as it gazed upon me.
In it, I saw clusters of dying stars and galaxies.
You had the whole universe hiding in your eyes.
Falling in love at the rate of infinity times infinity,
You became the endless universe I became helpless in.

We're either laughing or fighting
like our love is sailing
on tempestuous waters

I saw you the other night
Sneaking at the back of my heart
I watched as you sparked a light
A light that had spread to a fire
It flicked like a fragile flame on a wick
I let it dance on the kindling of my heart
I let it scar me, whip me until I bled
Your fire twirled as my blood ran red

You stole the reins to my heart
You roused me, galvanized me
It skipped to the music of your voice
I grasped my heart on my hands
Bloodied, bruised, burned, but still beating
And with the beats, it told me
That it would be better shared with you
With you and only you

Embrace me with tenderness
Beguile me with splendor
Drown me in your passion
Intoxicate me with your love
Oh, please, make me believe
There's nothing wrong with this love
Such an unreasonable reality
This is not what I hoped for
But as long as I'm with you
I don't care about anything else.

I write for love, for life
with the words I see fit
but if it's you I think about
I can't find the right words
for I am speechless, beguiled
by your beauty and essence

Perhaps there is none
no words, no rhymes
Or maybe there's too many
too many words, too many rhymes
so I sit here, beguiled yet again
silently, secretly admiring a masterpiece

you with your voice like silk
i bleed as the silk cloth you flicked
you bind me with words of magic
bound and bewitched, with a single touch
i burn like an endless candle wick

My way home alone is distressing
With blaring cars speeding on the road
Leaving a trail of thick gray smoke
that leaves me suffocating

Way home with you comes bearable, quite so
With your voice that overpowers the horns
Music to my ears and as peaceful with cicadas
Then we part ways, leaving me breathless

Breathing is becoming difficult around you
Heart beating faster beside you
Mind is filling with thoughts of you
Now I am
        utterly,
             deeply,
                  madly,
                         falling
                             in love with you

it was as if it was only yesterday
when I listened to your songs
as my soul danced with yours

when we laughed all night
at our failures in life
when we shivered and trembled
as our hearts pulled together
when we'd think mid-conversation
that we had fallen in love with each other
and when you left me crying
as you took my heart with you

every tale has its own lesson to tell
and if I learned anything from our tale it's that
time is fleeting but my love for you is not

she asked, she begged
she cried and was told to wait
so she waited, and waited
she got nothing in the end

then like rain it fell on her
the things she asked when she was little
she was blessed, she believed
but curious no doubt

why me? why now? she asked
because you asked
and it was given
in the right time

she cried again
not in sadness but in joy
then sat down and waited
as she wished for love

I watched as you start to disappear
Heart beating faster every meter you walk away
Faster and faster until my ears bleed from the sound
Faster and faster until it all breaks down

I screamed in agony as the colours drip to the ground
My screams drowning in the sounds of cracks and fissures
As I dig into my chest, into my skin with long nails
Trying to get rid of this ******* heart that won't stop breaking

I am your friend, your family
Always there when you need me
To attend to my matters, I leave
I return to see your new family

They are your friends, your family
I respect them because you do highly
I tried to see, I tried to love
To no avail, I failed without luck

It was too much, all to much
To see myself replaced, every time
To feel love only when they're gone
Is that all I am to you, your last one?

You need not say my role in your life
It was obvious, don't even lie
Plan Z, the least, your last
Among those names, call me what you like

I have no time for you
for I am busy pulling
pieces of me together
with glue and tape

I have no time for you
for I am still looking
for the sun under the
rainy clouds

I have no time for you
I have no time for anything
Not even for myself
I have no time at all

Just like a spider's thread
in a garden of blades
falling so slowly
to bleed and break apart

Just like a shadow
devoid of light
following me
every time, everywhere

In my favorite songs, I hear you
In my favorite movies, I see you
In my dreams, I hold you
In my mind, I keep you

Staring at me
with dark eyes, lips, and tongue
Enticing me to inch forward
to fall into the abyss

In the darkness you held my hand
squeezed it, secured it in your hand
as we walk down the aisle
with a soft, welcoming light
at the end of the line.

We escaped the noise and darkness
together we ventured the wilderness
my heart pirouetted as you did
we danced and laughed
fingers still entwined

I now wake up from a horrible dream
or from your haunting, as it may seem
Seven months, it has been
but in my head, you're still creeping
in my heart, you're still living

I dare not say that I miss you
for I do not, not anymore
but I did miss the moments with you
thanks for the visit,
*please haunt me more

Lone* soul swirling and lost
Amidst the searing heat, noise, and chaos
Lost soul can't seem to find a safe haven
Then finds a flower sprouting from the barrens
Light grazes the fingertips
Darkness reigns, the nemesis
Scream escaped from the fearful soul's lips
Another lost opportunity to escape the abyss

Still alive and breathing
Hiding the frown by smiling
Sand quickly covers my feet
Suddenly six feet underneath

Mistakes from the past year
Fear running from the rear
Footsteps running from fear
Everything is visible from here

Six feet underneath
Buried under the heath
Wanting to rise and leave
Wanting to leave it all down here

Choir of furies in my head
Amalgam of monsters under my bed
Infestation of red
from the back of my head

Physically six feet over
Mentally six feet under
Suffocating, hope is losing
Dying but still fighting

I'm somewhere, you're nowhere
I have spent a year searching for a friend
I'm writing poems about you
Wondering where you are

I could go there but I won't
You're somewhere my light cannot reach
You're somewhere under someone else's sun
Do I really want to know?

I'm nowhere, you're nowhere
I have followed you
to my pits of hell, to your safe haven
Even if it hurts so **** much
Even if it takes my life
Because I promised to never let you go

I have been fearing death
since five years old
when people told me stories
of ghosts and graves

I have feared it even more
when I lost someone special
lost someone who raised me
and gave me love for the first time

But I have missed
a terribly important aspect of death
his sibling, change
and he is everywhere, in all forms

I have never feared
anything more than change
for I never liked asking why, how,
and what did I do to deserve this

No one asked for this, but the siblings had
That is when we see the cruelty and unfairness of life
Of how we are not in charge of our own fate
And how it has been laid the moment we were born

Lakasan mo naman ang iyong loob
Ang isip, 'wag hayaang makulob
ng kalungkutan at kaba
Labanan mo, lumaban ka.

Alam kong gabi-gabi ang iyong pag-iyak
pero sa dulo, ikaw rin ang magagalak.
Alam kong pagod ka na,
pero ngayon ka pa ba susuko?

Laban lang, sugod lang.
Wala sa nakaraan ang inaasam
Kaya 'wag kang aatras.
Kaya mo yan, kaya ko 'to.

I tried my best, believe me, I did.
I tried to make you stay
I tried not to leave.

But I was trying too hard
for too long for too many times.
I ended up compromising
my own happiness for yours.

But don't worry, I don't blame you.
I don't hate you for it's me.
I blame myself, I hate myself
for being so stupid to hold onto you.

I hate myself for believing
I hate myself for trusting
I hate myself for being too selfless
I hate myself for being too careless.

I'm sorry for losing,
I'm sorry for leaving.
I'm sorry for giving up
I'm sorry for getting tired
I'm sorry because I stopped.
I'm sorry because I let go.

Don't ever ask why I'm leaving
because I can't tell you
how it hurts
whenever I see your face

I can't tell you
how it puts me in a bad mood
seeing your name pop up
on everything I look at

I can't tell you
how I'm dying to scream
to not leave me
because you always do the opposite

I can never explain
how everything hurts
when I'm with you
Because you will never understand.

You never see the things I do
Never paid attention
Never appreciated

How dare you wonder why I left
and downright replaced you

Now that we're worlds apart,
I wonder if you think of me as much as I do
I wonder if you write about me as much as I do
I wonder if you dream about me as much as I do



I wonder if you ever think of me at all.

I see you're working
working very hard
not for yourself alone
but for your loved ones too.

It's a shame that they don't see it
Oh, I know how it feels
It feels like it's all for naught
But it feels so right once you see them smile

I'll tell you, never stop working hard
even if no one sees you and your heart
even if the lack of appreciation makes you cry at night
even if it takes everything of you to fight

Never stop working
They can't see it but you make them happy
That's what you wanted, right?
Never stop trying to make them happy.

In my current state,
I don't have the money
I don't have the power
to make you happy

I only have hardwork
and my little accomplishments
at school and in life
to make you smile

But why can't you?
You always ask for more.
You always ask for more of me
when I'm already giving my all.

I'm already beating myself to death
Squeezing myself like sponge to give my best
but you were never contented
with the things I give.

Tell me, why do you do this?
Why can't you be happy for me?
Answer me,
Why can't you be happy for me, mom?

Savior of my saddest days
Catcher of my fallen self
You're always there
My everyday superhero

I am a distant star
a star that you can only see
in your darkest times
a star that you can't see
when your sun shines

I am the moon
outshone and overshadowed
by your bright sunny star
but you seek me at night
to guide you through the dark

I am the one you seek
only when you're troubled
I am non-existent
when you're in bliss
Is that all I am to you?

The world is cruel and sinful
Full of sinners condemning sinners
For sinning differently.

Awe-inducing presence
Beguiling beauty
Calm after the storm
Delicate and divine
Effervescent being
Flames dancing in the sky
God-fearing
Heart unstained by impurity
Interstellar
Joy in the midst of misery
Kind, too kind for her sake
Lovely smile
Magnetic woman
Never says never
Oblivious to love
Pure white
Quick-wit and sharp
Rain during the drought
Starry, starry eyes
Thunderstorms
Unwavering love
Virtuoso
Wholehearted
Xenon, gold, and neon
Yuletide happiness
Zigzag feelings

your mouth lights up
words that burn like flames
like the setting sun
that burns the skies

come look at the burning sky
look at my heart, burning
with flames of hatred and hurt
now reduced to pitch black ash