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Christopher Lowe Feb 2017
Controversially different in every single way
And these things that used to be merely extensions
Are moreover intertwined
Into what now is only so called life
So now really are we living or was it
At some point what we saw as life just
Simply changed or perhaps taken away
Yet we stay
Set in motion
Not even realizing what has came
And what is yet to come
Predisposed
To being perplexed
Preoccupied with insecurities
Addicted
To just the feeling of motivation
Being sickened by acting on it
Diseased by overnight success and lies about happiness

So
I do not wonder why
Some people have just simply
Turned around
Good stream of consciousness piece I wrote
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
So many people tell me
You should take
a page out of their book

And I just think
*Did you plagiarize
Your whole life
If we all try to be original...well you get the point.
Christopher Lowe Feb 2015
Dreams have become
Literally
Quite lyrically
Lately
Drifting away
On a bed of melodies
Listening to the songs
Of past memories
Bringing around
An air of clarity
And it seems
The subconscious bleeds
Figuratively
Over into reality
As I find myself awake
Singing songs I've never heard
Christopher Lowe Oct 2015
What did you hear that
No? It’s just the voices in my head again
They tend to act drunk and slightly belligerent
So excuse what I’m saying
I’m getting at something that they contemplated
If time is of the essence then we’re bound by intrinsic nature
A clock might have hands but the feeling couldn’t be stranger
Of the time slipping by even though my watch went dead
Did I finally **** time or was all it in my head
So we redefine what we think of these seconds
Measuring life merely bound by cosmic predispositions
So wait let me prepare a transition
About human nature and constructs of life
Does it all mean what comes from our head is true all the time
And what can be thought can exist in multi-dimensions
Are these words all made up
Or is that too odd to mention
Christopher Lowe Dec 2013
Seeing my glass reflection
Everything goes into retrospect
And the day goes black with haze
As the weight of my thoughts sink
Everything disappears
Goes up ablaze
As brain alteration happens in a blink
While watching it burn with infatuation
It's like I'm stuck here
In this odd imagination
Christopher Lowe Feb 2014
I am facing my residual reality
What one might call a residuality
The moment has died
But theses thoughts linger on
My chance has expired
But these mistakes are never gone
Life is hardwired
Or rigged
You’re either the star of the show
Or you just walked onto a scene
No matter what it seems
We all carry these residualities
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
I am a patchwork creation
Of blatant sins
And past regrets
They are forgiven
But they never forget
Christopher Lowe Mar 2015
The Devil asked me
Sell your soul
For the love of your life

And I laughed as I replied
*Maybe if I had it
But she already stole it
Shh
Christopher Lowe Jan 2016
Shh
Greatness
Spoken of in silence
Hushed kindness

Turmoil
Yelled through gritted teeth
Bombastic trivialties
Christopher Lowe Jan 2015
Living in a world
Suffering from Empathy Dystrophy
More concerned with their reality shows
And clean windows
While others live in trash
With people throwing away things
Others would **** to have
Christopher Lowe Apr 2014
Senseless distractions running around
Grasping at thoughts lost before found
I am stuck between these obscure ideas
Wondering lately where my mind is
It seems to have just wondered off
Some would call it a daydream
But I would call myself lost
Christopher Lowe Feb 2014
I would like to understand myself
Seems like I always get everyone else
But my own thoughts and feelings
Seem to be lost in an ocean of indifference
Indecision is my best friend
And he always brings a crowd
So here I am in this sinking ship
I call my mind
Nothing on the horizon
No dry land to find
Christopher Lowe Apr 2015
It is called a crush
Because there is weight
Behind their essence
And it is suffocating
To be in their presence
Christopher Lowe Sep 2015
Broken bottle friends, some call it social alcoholism
Everyone’s famous, for the night at least
The value of signatures
Listed above names on bar receipts
Drug dealers playing in the street, what some might call shamanism
All it really is, just an eclectic collectivism
That leads to remarkable nights that aren’t remembered
Realizations that problems are just and our lives dredge on
Invincible for the night
Or perhaps
Just brave enough to embrace ones true self
Christopher Lowe Feb 2015
What isn't half way
The minds focused on
Half questions
Half task
Asking someone
To actually concentrate
Like asking liquid to
Not take on
The volume of a
Glass half empty
Glass half full
Maybe its completely full
But to be filled
There must be two halves

Everything whole is made of parts
Even days are broken into nights
And meals into
breakfast
lunch
and dinner
Whether we are awake
Asleep or
Maybe weekdays to weekends

See there truly is no whole
Only its pieces

*So I took a half day
Inspired by me taking a half day at work because I'm sick.
Christopher Lowe Apr 2015
The wind is whispering
Much like the ideas
In between these lines of poetry
And there is no such thing as sleep
As the Sandman steals dreams
Leaving a crumb trail of thoughts
Throughout ones head
Opening up space
To figure out how things
Should be interpreted
Christopher Lowe Dec 2013
To lay upon these words of hate
Indecision is my fate
As I face the insanity of the sane
And waste away into another day
Of existence that is more abrasive then
Diamonds in my heart of coal
Want to catch fire;
Melt away my hated soul
Of wondrous thoughts of a great tomorrow
Mend me, break me, I forever lay full of sorrow
Christopher Lowe Dec 2013
This is unpleasant to admit
But the pleasantries have lost meaning
Without you
I was falling apart at the seams
Though now it seems I will survive
But what is surviving
other than just waiting for Death
And as of late it feels he comes knocking often
Though I don’t know why
because my doors always open
The draft I let in feels all too familiar
It’s that Mother Nature temptress beckoning me
Yet the view from my window will have to suffice
But my blinds are always drawn
The light from your window is too bright
It seems as of lately I am flipped inside out
And the world around me is all in my mind
Which is funny
because now I always seem lost
My sense of direction seems to be thrown off
But I never really go searching for anything
Yet things still manage to find me
It’s funny how all this is because you left
Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying
I really do like it here where I am at
But things get complacent
here in my brain
It’s not like it was when our heads were together
You see
now I am spiraling out of control
Things do look interesting when I am spinning though
But all of that spinning sometimes makes me sick
And a trip to the doctor is out of the question
This isn’t simply a problem medication can fix
Anyway it’s not like I am broken
But I am sure you of all people can understand that
After all it was you that did this to me
Although surely it wasn’t on purpose I guess
You couldn’t have known that I’d be stuck in this mess
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
Take me back to the days of my voyage
Through teenage love
We drove around listening to punk rock
Battling what were then our enemies
Now our friends
Windows down pant legs rolled up
I remember how your eyes reflected
The evening sun
But like all good voyages
This one ended too
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
Pretending used to be so innocent
You would play pretend doctor
And oh how brilliant
A flawless performance
And all those years not a patient lost
Ahh the pretend heroes we were

Now it's a little more sinister
We pretend we are busy or sick
And we think we are intelligent
Like no one will know
And year after year we fill with lies
Pretending to still be super heroes
When we really turned into bad guys
We all got plenty of practice. Anyone have any better title ideas let me know.
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
Past presidents
Speaking of which
Did you know
They are aliens now
Little green men
Just kept in a wallet
Instead of outer space
Or a secret government base
Another humorous one.
Christopher Lowe Apr 2015
Grieve
Oh grieve
Sweet Remedy
And be carried
Off
Into the breeze
Be bound
Spell bound
My
Oh so Captivating
Sweet Remedy
That empty feeling
Is just
So let yourself
Be Illuminated
Sweet Remedy
And when
You're out on a limb
Remember
It's always on a swing
*Sweet Remedy
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
There are some odd places where I live
Places where there's no oxygen
I know because
Sometimes I see you
And I'm
    B
r
  e
a
  t
h
   l
e
   s
s
Christopher Lowe Jul 2016
This mind is troubled and hard to find
Muddled by drug and drink
Caught in some manic depressive state
Switching gears
No one to talk to about these demons inside
I know it’s just me talking to myself
But the voice I hear is unfamiliar
It has to be someone else
Trapped in my head
You see because I refuse to believe
That something’s really wrong with me
Christopher Lowe Nov 2017
At first
She was
But a whisper in my heart
A singular beat
A fleeting moment
That grew monumentally
And
Surely now
Without her
I'd experience death
First one in awhile. Forgotten who I was for a while but the words have been fighting for freedom. Need support more than ever friends....
Christopher Lowe Jan 2015
We often seek answers
To questions
Which should have never been asked
Ever since Eve ate the apple
The world has been
Afflicted
With whats seen as knowledge
And the curse of Pandoras box
Unleashed upon the world
A ravishing hunger
To capture questions
That as ignorant humans
We should never control
What we call intellect
Is an overzealous need for power
And we mistake knowledge
For answers to the mundane
Life would be so much simpler
If curiosity wained
And we never
Began asking unnecessary questions
In the first place
We never ask the right questions.
Christopher Lowe Oct 2014
Once we accept the chaos we create
Peace would be simple to explicate
We are beaten down and simple
We created fire because it fascinates
Just as we do other forms of destruction
Seeing it as a means of creation
Through the fire we forged the future
But at the cost of that which was burnt
We are eager to leave a wake of destruction
As long as it’s easy to step past
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
It was the dream again

Again

Yes again

I thought you were over it

So did I

Well what are you going to do

Go back to sleep

Please wake me if you can’t sleep

I will

Promise......

Promise.
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
I've run out of room
In this endless notebook
Filled with thoughts and words
How absurd
I have filled an infinity
What a story that's be spun
It continues forever
But still has an end
That is: *things are never over
They only begin
Christopher Lowe Jan 2015
Lately dreams
Have been more real
Than reality
And that blank fortune cookie
Seemed oddly pointless
In my dream
But in the waking light
It seems
To have revealed
Its many messages to me
Had an odd dream last night where at one point I pulled a blank fortune from my wallet.
Christopher Lowe Dec 2013
You followed me down
But you made it back up
Still I’m stuck here at the bottom
I guess you’d call it a rut
Let’s be real though you’re over inflated
You got up there by feeding on hatred
With those facts I’m glad I’m still stuck
I’d rather be here at rock bottom
Where my foundations solid
Better then with you in the city of *****
See I’d rather live my life way down here
Where things are pretty quite
I’m not persecuted or forcibly silenced
No fear of falling because I’ve already fallen
Down here I can stand for what I believe in
While you’re up there floating in what you call freedom
Just remember when I fall it isn’t too far
But when you see the ground coming
You know you’ll hit hard
Christopher Lowe Oct 2014
She was a collector
Of broken dreams
And misplaced things
She put them together
To make her heart compete

*No wonder why
She loved me so much
She told me
I was the final piece
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
She was soft spoken
But her voice filled the room
And the way she talked
Her tongue
Dancing across her lips
A hypnotic sway
In the way she walked
Eyes like a lullaby
Gently pulling you in
A smile a mile wide
And a personality to match
Electricity filled her veins
With thunderous thoughts
To say she embodied perfection
Would be an unfair assement
Christopher Lowe Mar 2016
Once upon a time I was young
Or that's how the story should go
But truth be told I've never felt that old
Others tell stories of youth
In wonder
Speaking about the glory years
And I hear about the past
And how they lived
While I'm still living it
And wonder
If the best stories never told
Are by those that decided
I won't die while still living
Because the best part of everything
Is simply
All the beginnings
Christopher Lowe Sep 2014
The monster under my bed
Has created my internalized fears
Still afraid of the dark
Creepy noises
Shadows and such
Internalized fears running amok  
And as these fears collide
Inside my head
I have started to realize
I was always
The monster under my bed
Most of our fears are created by ourselves.
Christopher Lowe Dec 2016
I have come to realize
This perpetuated feeling
Is neither unhappiness nor lack of joy
But a feeling of my own creation
That of boredom
Seeking out the next thing to fascinate
Only to yet again become bored
You see
I don’t really think sadness is a lack of happiness
It is a lack of fulfillment
It is the fact
That time and time again
Generation after generation
We teach happiness through gratification
Society has taught us to stop thinking
To stop feeling happiness without the minutia
The results are a stratification of people
And a difference now in
Humans
And Human Beings
Christopher Lowe Jul 2016
Love isn’t a good morning text
Or some other slanted
Minuscule gesture
It is a presence looming
Craving to capture you
Envelope you in your entirety
But here we are waiting on a rose
Or a gift
A letter
Perhaps if that’s what love has become
Then I will hope I find something better
I don't remember writing this.  I just found it open on my desk top and when I read it I thought I actually wrote something good for the first time.
Christopher Lowe Feb 2020
Waves lapping at her ankles
Tidal footprints vanishing
As a seagull laughs above
Down on her sun kissed cheeks
That greet the ocean air
It cannot be
The tide that moves the ocean

And yet
There she was.
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
Silence is the sound of wisdom
And as the wind died down
And nature slept
I listened
Silence spoke

Do not mistake the
verbose for intelligent
and do not be quick
to break the quietness.
For quiet often
what is missed
is that which lies
between the noises.


And I was quick
To apologize to Silence
Telling it
*You're all to often
Mistaken as awkward
Christopher Lowe Dec 2014
There is undoubtly
A darkness in us all
But
There is also light In all life
And like the day turns into night
And night to day
We all await our transition
And as we see our rising sun
We let the light wash over us
And thank the sun for rising again
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
Float on sound waves
To the ceiling of space
Trace edges of existence
With Fingertips
Galactic Subconscious
Our ideas like space ships
Exploring the infinite reaches
Christopher Lowe Oct 2014
Let these words
Be an extension
Of my soul
Because I'm over committed  
To Being
An Existentialist
And my existence
Is far beyond
Just existing
Christopher Lowe Mar 2015
Time
Subtly counting the seconds
Hopelessly loosing oneself
In utter endless distractions
Only to realize
The count was lost
And the time has passed
Left breathless
Again one begins
Subtly counting the seconds
Focused on the task at hand
To only become lost again
And realize
The moment has passed
And it is time
To call the watch repairman
Christopher Lowe Jan 2014
It seems we get stuck in thought patterns

Of self destruction
Giving in

We tell ourselves we are small

Trapped by our looming minds
Not Knowing

We are the ones in control

Though thoughts can be changed
It seems

We forget our self worth under the shadow

Our minds playing tricks on us
It’s relentless

Changing our minds not like flipping a switch

It takes insurmountable effort
Changing thoughts

We are the combatants of our minds

Don’t be controlled by irrationalities
Face reality

We are of immeasurable value

Make sure your thoughts reflect
Your self-respect
Christopher Lowe Nov 2014
Your hands
Wave
                            Over
       Me
  Still
         The threshold
       To
            Guilt
                              Presents
                     The years
Overdo
In some less-than-conscious
                   Battle
And
             The         lines
Reassure
                    Great
Trouble
     To Combat
              Global
                                Impulse
This was originally a blackout poem written from a news story titled "Too Many Gifts for Kids?"
Christopher Lowe Aug 2014
I am and will always be
if not blood and bones
at least echoing memories
an existence through not existing
and oh how fitting it is
that even in death we live
Christopher Lowe Oct 2014
We would never
               Gain understanding
                         Without unanswered
               Questions
More of a thought than anything I suppose.
Christopher Lowe Aug 2016
They talk about love like an atlas
Places visited
Things done
Like love is a line between new places
And they often forget
About everything in-between
Destinations, fascinating and beautiful
But really how did you get there
What about all the wrong turns
And nowhere towns
Clear travels and gravel roads
See
Love isn’t an atlas
It is the rumble of the tires
A window rolled down
A road trip breeze
So forget about where
And ditch the map
Christopher Lowe Sep 2014
I have transcendentalised my thoughts
but my shoes
could tell you more about myself
than my idealized ideals
and the things catastrophised
in my mind
are really quite different in real life
Christopher Lowe Sep 2015
People walk past and come around
So you think I’d never be lonely
But I’m stuck behind this glass

It’s easy to seem like its okay inside
You’d think it was obvious
From the other side

Now I’m painting these invisible walls
With the pain inside
Hoping things will change
If they can’t see inside

But I’m paralyzed, not by fear
Or anger
Or my rattled mind

Indifference has crept in
But people still don’t see
It haunting me
Through these glass halls

And I’m trying my best
But the paint
Just isn’t sticking

Now these glass walls
They’re just spattered messes
And invisible dead ends

And they see transparency
But I’m trapped
Behind these glass walls
Transparency is tricky.  But it is easy to feel trapped.
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